Funny: How It Should Have Ended

  • In the second LOST episode, Hurley protects the Island's heart by simply nailing a "Keep out! Causes deadly smoke monsters." sign in front of it. Then, now that he and Ben have loads of free time, they have a montage with an awesome song playing in the background.
  • From Sherlock Holmes: "Throat punch, throat punch, throat punch, throat punch, throat punch..."
  • From The Empire Strikes Back, Vader walking around his ship, telling everyone around that he has a son.
    Emperor: I have no doubt this boy is the offspring of Anakin Skywalker.
    Vader: What, I have a son?
    Emperor: No, I said Anakin Skywalker has a son. You are Darth Vad—
    Vader: I have a son! This is wonderful! I must see him! [leaves the room]
    Emperor: [ignored] Wait, where are you going?
    Vader: [goes around inside Death Star] Hey, everyone! Have you heard the news? I'm a father! Woohoo! I have a son, stormtroopers! I have a son, asteroids! Hey, bounty hunters, guess what, I have a son, did you know that? I have a son, little droid that drives around the hallways! [as the Star Destroyer is entering the hyperspace] I have a son, lightspeee—WHOA!
  • Brought back wonderfully in Return of the Jedi when Vader realizes he has a daughter.
    Darth Vader: [to Luke] Your thoughts betray you, especially for your... sister! You have a twin sister!? I have a daughter, too!? That is wonderful! I must tell everyone else! [offscreen as he leaves the room] I have a daughter, stormtroopers! I have a daughter, bounty hunters!
    The Emperor: (groans) See what you did? Who knows how long he'll be running around like that. Do you realize how annoying it is to put up with him this way—
    Darth Vader: [returns to the room] Hey, wait a second. You told me I killed Padme in my anger.
    Emperor: Uh... yes?
    Vader: Well, how did she manage to deliver two kids? That doesn't add up.
    Emperor: She, uh... lost the will to live....?
  • The ending of the Pulp Fiction episode, when Pumpkin and Honeybunny decide to rob the diner because it cuts down on 'the hero factor'... only to discover Superman and Batman sitting in the very next booth.
    Superman: Hi.
    • Don't forget about Marvin's bit in the video.
    • "You know what they call a Subscribe button in Paris? 'Subscribe with Cheese'!"
  • All of "How Terminator Should End." The crossover with Back to the Future was inspired. Watching Strickland get stabbed and Biff shot was just the icing.
  • The ending of The Hunger Games.
    • During the cornucopia bloodbath: "District 9 has found the mech suit!"
    • Katniss nearly throws up after Peeta says, "We're in love!"
  • Dutch from Predator appears very filthy in "How To Survive An Alien Attack," explaining that after he sets up booby traps for aliens, he likes to hide in the mud and watch the aliens get trapped.
    Interviewer: That doesn't smell like mud.
    Dutch: You don't smell like mud!
  • Megatron constantly interrupting his Battleship game with Optimus Prime to express his inability to accept the existence of a movie based on the simple game. The last straw for Optimus comes when Megatron points out that Battleship even stars Rihanna, and sings, "You sank my ship in a hopeless place!"
  • After Tony asks Superman and Batman if they feel jealous about how epically he and the other Avengers managed to save the world from Loki:
    Batman: I'm not jealous. I'm Batman.
    Superman: I guess I would be jealous, if I wasn't like all of you combined! If I couldn't fly, or shoot lasers, or catch missiles, or see really far, or smash through buildings, or wear red and blue...
    (large piles of money suddenly appear)
    Tony: What's that? You're fading out.
    Steve: Whoa! We've broken too many records!
    Thor: We can't hear you through all of this box office money!
    (The Avengers laugh as the money pile grows so large, everyone gets buried except for Batman and Supes.)
    • The opening sequence of the How The Avengers Should Have Ended video, where Loki utterly fails at pulling a Most Definitely Not a Villain moment while watching the battle from his perch on the rock.
    Loki: (cheerfully) Hello!
    Iron Man: You're still here?
    Loki: Yeeeess.
    Thor: Why didn't you run away while we settled our differences?
    Captain America: OK, we're not taking him back to base, he is definitely up to something!
    <Thor nodding>
    • Spider-Man has been hanging outside the cafe for over 2 years, because he thought he wasn't allowed to come in yet.
  • Captain America wonders why the city names on the German bombs were written in English:note 
    Doctor Zola: But why do you want it in English, sir? We are German.
    • Captain America shouting "THANKS FOR THE MUSCLES, BUT IT'S TOO LATE NOW!" as his plane goes down.
    • The pod opening to show Steve as The Human Torch, but the doctor saying "not ready yet". When it is ready?
  • Tank missile!
    • Topped for Iron Man 3, where the Mandarin's head goon in the helicopter attack goes agape in horror as all of Stark's suits deploy in defense of home and say that phrase en masse with a whole salvo of tank missiles being launched.
  • The entirety of Rose and Jack's argument in How Titanic Should Have Ended.
    • The crossover with Avatar in the stinger.
    Neytiri: Draw me like one of your Earth girls, Jack! (breaks the couch and falls)
  • Rapunzel running around so cheerfully and laughing so manically, that she doesn't become fazed by leaves, branches, mud (hopefully), a dead squirrel, a Koopa, and Gollum (among other things) getting stuck in her hair.
  • Batman insists that he doesn't need a phone with Siri as long as he has Alfred. He then uses his Batphone to ask Alfred if it will rain, so Alfred answers that it won't...after repeating the question to Siri.
  • The entire X-Men: First Class How It Should've Ended, where everybody ignores the fact that Charles has been paralyzed and has to have Azazel take him to the hospital when he freezes everybody in time (except for Magneto).
    Magneto: Oh great. Now how are we supposed to get home?
    • Batman striking out with Emma Frost.
    Emma Frost: (walking past Batman and Wolverine) Hey, boys.
    Batman: Heyyyyy. I'm Batman. (follows Emma offscreen) You wanna know my secret identity?
    Emma Frost: You're Bruce Wayne?
    Batman: Dang. I forgot you read minds.
    Emma Frost: Your breath smells like coffee.
  • Batman starting a conversation about twitter, simply as a means to reveal that his updates are just:
    Batman: "I'm Batman!"
  • The "Lonely Zombie" song. Most of the comments on the Resident Evil parody are about the random zombie who provides the chorus, all the while walking in and out of the scene.
    Zombie: ... brains!
    • I'm pressing EVERY BUTTON I can find!
  • Blake entering the cave, only to discover that Bruce left a Robin costume for him.
    Blake: Oh heck, no, I'm not wearing that.
  • Elizabeth from Prometheus gives birth to one of the Toy Story aliens.
  • Superman reassures Spider-Man that The Amazing Spider-Man could have been worse - at which point Emo!Peter from Spider-Man 3 struts past the window.
    • Reboot!Peter getting interrupted by Emo!Peter, who breaks down because he never got to go inside the cafe or meet Stan Lee.
  • Spider-Man 3. The whole thing. Special mention must go to how Sandman's transformation would have gone had the sand-mutation scientists just done their jobs properly:
    Scientist 1: There's a change in the silicone mass.
    Scientist 2: Yeah, it's probably just a bird.
    Scientist 3: Here's a bright idea: Why don't you make SURE it's a bird before you mutate the crap out of something just because you were too lazy to safely run this nighttime sand-mutation experiment?
    Scientist 2: Ugh, fine. (safetly barrier is lifted, looks out into the pit) That is a big bird down there...kind of looks like a guy. Oh, wait, it IS a guy down there!
    (cut to Flint Marco being put in a police van)
    Flint: You- you don't understand! I have a daughter, she's sick! That makes it okay for me to break the law! I'm not a bad person!
    • Peter tells Aunt May that he's going to ask Mary-Jane to marry him. She tells him that this reminds her of a long, boring story about his uncle, that will only make him feel guilty and make the wrong decisions in life.
    • Harry Osborn's butler FINALLY decides to tell him the truth about his father's death, and how it is apparent that Spider-Man didn't kill him. This happens:
      Harry: You are so fired.
      Butler: Wh-What?
      Harry: You've known that all this time? And you pick now to tell me?
      Butler: I thought this would be the best time to tell you the truth.
    • The entire conversation between Venom and Spidey near the end, filled to the BRIM with Lampshade Hanging:
      Venom: (takes off symbiote mask to reveal Eddie Brock's face) Hey, Parker.
      Spider-Man: Eddie! (dramatic music stops) Wait, why do you have a scary Venom face if you're just gonna peel it back when you talk?
      Venom: Because this way I get more face time!
      Spider-Man: That's lame.
      Venom: YOU'RE lame! And now I'm gonna kill your girlfriend!
      Spider-Man: (completely unfettered) Oh, there's a big surprise. Out of all the dastardly plots you could put together, you wanna threaten my girlfriend. Just like EVERY other villain I've encountered.
      Venom: Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it!
      Spider-Man: Seriously? You rush in here like you can take ME? This is my third movie! Spider-Man TRES, amigo! You think they're gonna kill me off?! NO! Look, do you know of ANY movies where they kill the title character off at the end?
      Venom: Donnie Darko...Old Yeller...Romeo & Juliet...
      Spider-Man: Yeah. I didn't think so.
      Harry: (flying to where the climatic battle is taking place) Hang on, Pete! I'm coming for ya, ol' buddy, ol' pal, ol' friend!
      Spider-Man: I'm just saying. There's only one way this is going to go down. It happens every time. We'll fight for a bit, you'll tear my mask. But in the end, I'm just gonna leap out of the way, and you're gonna do something that makes you kill yourself!
      Venom: Or maybe I'm just gonna kill you and your girlfriend, because I'm awesome and you've met your match!
      Scientist 2: (releases bird) Fly away, pretty bird. No sand mutation for you tonight.
      Harry: Oh, I can't wait to help my best friend in the whole wide world!
      Spider-Man: I promise you! Things are already in motion! You still have a chance to walk away here!
      Harry: Here I come, Pete! I'll help ya save the day! No matter what, I'll help ya— BIIIRD!! (gets hit in the face by the bird the scientist just released, and crashes into the construction frame. Pumpkin bombs go flying from the glider)
      Venom: Quit talking like you're in control, Parker! You're just a bug trapped in the web I—
      Spider-Man: Aaand leap... (jumps out of the way of the pumpkin bombs)
      Venom: Aw, dang, he was telling the truth. (gets blown up)
    • Even better is when Peter says "Just like EVERY other villain I've encountered", MJ is shown sitting in the taxi that's suspended hundreds of feet in the air with a thoroughly impatient look on her face.
    • Batman and Superman see Peter, acting like a douchebag thanks to the Symbiote, strutting past the café:
      Superman: What the heck was that?
      Batman: Peter Parker just did a Saturday Night Fever strut across our window.
      Superman: I know, but...why?
      Batman: I'm not sure. But I was afraid something like this would happen.
      Superman: What do you mean?
      Batman: Uh, have you seen this?
      (Batman shows Supes a video on his Bat-phone of Spidey doing an extremely camp dance to a dance remix of the 1960's theme)
      Superman: Ugghh...
    • Mary-Jane's reason for breaking up with Peter? He cries too much.
  • The first appearance of the Incredible Hulk.
    Batman: (having just finished a conversation with Thor) So, are we just gonna do this every time a superhero comes along?
    Superman: Probably. Feels like we always do.
    Hulk: (from outside the window) Not always! Hulk saaaad!
    (Hulk runs away crying)
    Superman: Aw, he'll be fine. He just gets really moody.
  • Darth Vader, after blowing up the Starship Enterprise:
    Darth Vader: Oh, we are going to get so much crap for that.
    • And then Spock Prime appears and gives the vulcan nerve pinch
    Darth Vader: Nooooooooooooooo!
  • The way the different Bonds argue over who should shoot the cameraman at the beginning of the Casino Royale episode creates the impression that they treat him like a plaything. The cameraman also doesn't bother running away during the arguement, or shooting one of the Bonds, as if he knows by this point that he can't escape one of their guns.
    Pierce Brosnan: Wait just a minute. Let me shoot him just one last time.
    Daniel Craig: You've had your turn! I get to shoot.
    Roger Moore: No, no. I believe I should get to shoot him.
    George Lazenby: No, I want to shoot him! Let me! Just once.
    Sean Connery: I was the original and the best! I get to shoot him.
    (Timothy Dalton and Woody Allen join in the argument, until Daniel Craig screams in impatience and quickly runs up to the camera, shooting the cameraman himself.)
    • And Bond suggesting that they take Le Chiffre, knowing that he's guilty, into custody now rather than risking him winning the money in the poker tournament (thus erasing all the action-packed events that make up the plot).
    M: You see how boring that was, James?!
    Bond: (shrugs)
    • Earlier, when M explains the plot in question to an unenthused Bond:
    Bond: You want me to play cards against him.
    M: Yes. So that he will lose.
    Bond: Will the tournament be fixed?
    M: No. You must win fair and square. So play cards well, or we will have funded international terrorism.
    M: ... and we'll be right back where we started... except for your testicles.
    • And the ending:
    Vesper: I love you, James! Now I must kill myself for no reason!-BLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUB...
    Bond: But I killed all the bad guys!!
  • Toy Story 3, with Andy changing his mind about his toys and taking them back from Bonnie.
    Andy: Okay-I-changed-my-mind-I-love-these-toys-you-can't-have-them-I'm-taking-them-all-back-(drives away)-SEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH...
    Bonnie: ...(starts crying)
    Andy: Hahahahahahaha! I can't believe I almost gave you guys away! We're gonna go to college! It's gonna be great! You guys are the best!
    Woody: ...(all toys pop out of the box) And we've been alive this whole time!
    • And then a Randy Newman parody song plays singing about how Andy just wrecked his car.
    You just wrecked your car/You just wrecked your car! Toys are talkin', think you've lost your mind/And you just wrecked your car!
  • In Iron Man 3, Tony Stark noticing that the plot is remarkably similar to that of The Incredibles;
    Tony: You're Syndrome and I'm Mr Incredible.
    Killian: This is not the same, I can breathe fire!
    Tony: I even have a black friend who helps me fight crime. And he has a super-suit!
    Killian: (shocked) Oh my gosh, this is totally The Incredibles...
    • Thor's response after hearing that Tony blew up all his armor.
    Sayeth whaaaaaaat?!
    • With Tony out of commission, the Avengers need a replacement. Who do they choose? Extremis!Pepper.
    Tony: She can't replace me! I am Iron Man, you hear me?! I AM Iron Man!
    Steve: So is JARVIS!
    • Superman exclaims that even if Tony and Batman retire from super heroics, he's "just getting started!" To Batman's disgust, Superman also removes his Underwear of Power before everyone else's eyes, and tosses it to him, asking him to "take care of these."
    • Bruce and Tony being somewhat dejected when they ponder if they're retired or not;
    Iron Man: I am Iron Man.
    Batman: I'm Batman.
  • Their Man of Steel episode is quite hilarious.
    • Instead of going to a random priest for advice, Clark decides to consult his SPACE DAD!
    • Admiral Ackbar suddenly pops up in Zod's ship to deliver his Catch Phrase everybody remembers him for.
    • Superman and Batman later discuss what would have happened should Supes fight Zod and co. on land (which is what actually happens in the movie).
    Batman: Can you imagine if you had to fight those guys on land?
    Superman: Oh my gosh! Thousands of people might have died!
    Batman: Plus billions of dollar of property damages.
    Superman: I can't pay that kind of debt on a Daily Planet salary. I mean, you could, because you're-
    Batman: Because I'm Batman?
    Superman: ... I was gonna say rich.
    Batman: I am also rich. *Beat*. I'm rich Batman!
    Superman: Oh my gosh! You know, some might thing that's getting a little annoying.
    Batman: Oh, well, what are gonna do about it? Snap my neck?
    Superman: I could if I wanted to!
    • Aquaman's appearance in the "thanks for watching" section.
    Aquaman: Hey. Hey Clark. You thinking about your childhood? You look like you're thinking about your childhood...Well, I'll be over here if anyone needs me...*whispers* Justice League...
  • In the "Thanks For Watching" segment of Star Trek Into Darkness, the scene starts out as a parody of Uhura speaking in Klingon, then the Klingon she was speaking to speaks in English, saying "I'll take it from here.", voiced by the Honest Trailers narrator himself!
  • In their How World War Z should have ended, Lori shows up at the end doing what she does best: "Where is Carl?"
    Shaun of the Dead: Ok ship all the non essentials back on the helicopters.
    Camera pans out to show the stars of pretty much every zombie series including Ash from Evil Dead and Rose Mcgowan with her gun leg still onboard the carrier.
    Lori Grimes: Where's Carl?!
    Shaun: How did you get off the helicopter?
  • The entire Doctor Who parody.
  • The Eleventh Doctor visits the Super Cafe. Including moments like Batman saddened over the loss of Amy, the Doctor calling out Superman for the infamous final scene of Man of Steel, and Batman somehow getting in the TARDIS and trying to hit on Clara (with the Doctor shooing him out).
  • The entirety of Thor: The Dark World. Especially the beginning, which has Jane proving that Loki is Faking the Dead:
    Jane: Yeah, I'm not buying it. Here: (kicks Loki in the nuts)
    Loki: (cries out in pain) REALLY?! Okay, you caught me, alright?! I'm not dead! Jeez! Right in the berries!...
    Hannibal: I always liked Odin.
    Loki: Pfft, you would.
    • Loki pointing out to Zod that if he'd just colonised Mars he could have saved his entire race.
    Zod: You're blowin' my mind, Lok!
    • In The Stinger, Thor getting stood up at the cafe by Superman and Batman. Cue the two of them childishly giggling outside the window.
  • In Frozen, Grand Pabbie, pretty much voices most if not entire fandom, attempting to explain to Elsa's parents why shutting her away/teaching her to fear her powers is a terrible idea.
  • During the end credits of "The Lego HISHE", Lego Batman sings and dances to a rendition of "Everything Is Awesome" called "Everything Is Batman".
    Everything is Batman
    Everything is cool when you're Ba-a-atman
    Everything is Batman
  • Aliens Ripley has the foresight to use a motion tracker to scan for the Alien upon arriving at the Sulaco. It is easily detected, and all surviving humans (including Newt) unleash entire Pulse Rifle magazines upon it when it tries to come down from the landing gear.
    Newt: You're mostly dead now... mostly.
    • Followed by "But since that didn't happen here's how it should have ended"
      Ripley holds onto the ladder as the robot suit, the alien, her friend and Newt get sucked out into space
      Bishop: Why would you think this was a good ideeeeeeaaa!
      Newt: I thought you said you loved meeeeeee!
      Ripley: I'm sorry! I thought my arm could withstand the vacuum of spaaaace!
      Ripley's arm gets ripped off and she gets sucked out into space as well
  • Batman setting up a knock knock joke for Superman.
    Batman: Knock knock.
    Superman: Whose there?
    Batman: Beak.
    Superman: Beak who-Oh gosh...
    Batman: Because I'm Batman!
    • The funniest part being Supes realizing as he said beak what the punchline was going to be.
  • In Godzilla (2014), a large crowd starts applauding Godzilla for saving the city and start hailing him as a hero. Superman sees this happening over the news and flies towards San Francisco to vent his frustrations.
    'When Godzilla destroys half the city and kills the unstoppable threat to save the world, everyone cheers! But when I do it, everyone gets all grouchy and judgemental. I see how it is. Hey, way to go Godzilla! You killed those awful creatures that only wanted to breed! You know who else wanted to procreate at the expense of humanity? Zod! That's right. You're welcome!
  • From the very end of their Batman Begins video.
    Rachel: I came here to break up with you.
    Bruce: Were we dating?
    Rachel: It's because of your mask.
    Bruce: My Batmask?
    Rachel: No, your face is your mask, and the batmask is your real face, because it's not what's underneath, but what you do, and what you do now is Batman. So that's your face.
    Bruce: This is really confusing. This is my face. Just like that is your (Rachel suddenly switches from Katie Holmes to Maggie Gyllenhaal) WHAT IS HAPPENING??
    • And of course, the scene before the end.
    Gordon: Why haven't we felt ay effects?
    Man: Must be a compound that has to be absorbed through the lungs.
    Gordon: That explains why my wife flipped out on spaghetti night!
    Cue scene of Gordon's wife screaming in sheer horror at the sight of her son turning into Joffrey Baratheon outside her window.
  • The Avengers' over-the-top reactions to Ultron's attempts at making Disney songs sound creepier than originally intended.
    Black Widow: Make him stop!...You are ruining my childhood!
    Iron Man: Is nothing sacred? Think of the Children!
  • "Lego Batman Is Jelly". It takes place after The Lego Movie, and it has Batman being...well, Batman, and asking Lucy why she left him for Emmet, highlighting how much cooler he is and asking if she's "okay with settling for someone so...un-hot?" Cue Lego!Star-Lord walking in (we understand that this IS Emmet) and making Batman look totally obsolete in comparison.
    Emmet/Star-Lord: I've come a long way from the days I hung out at the park for recreation.
  • "How Guardians of the Galaxy Should Have Ended" has the Guardians sitting with Batman and Superman at the Superhero Cafe.
    • Also Quill's reaction to everything he missed out after the 80's.
    Quill: I got this new thing called "iPod". It's got like a bazillion songs on it.
    iPod: ♪You got a butt, I've got a butt~(8)♪
    Quill: You guys sing about butts a lot now. Why do you do that?
    Superman: I don't know.
    Batman: Music got weird.
    Groot: I am Groot.
    Batman: I feel like he's conveniently dodging this topic.
    • Cue a back and forth between seedling Groot and Batman which consists entirely of:
    Batman: I'm Batman.
    Groot: I am Groot.
    • Or that Superman correctly predicated that the back and forth would take a while
    The Emperor: That's my jam!
  • The Days of Future Past video provides a look at a Super Cafe conversation from The Seventies (complete with Superman and Batman wearing retro costumes).
    Superman: Move really fast, reverse time, save everyone...That sounds groovy! I'm gonna have to try that some day.
    Batman: Yeah except for it to work, Kitty has to hold that pose for like days!
    (Cut to 2024!Kitty still phasing Logan)
    Kitty: I have to pee SO BAD!!!
    (Cut back to 1974)
    Xavier: I didn't even think about that. Poor girl!
  • From The Phantom Menace:
    Queen Amidala: The Naboo system has been invaded by the droid armies of the Trade Federation.
    Lott Dod: I object! There is no proof!
    Queen Amidala: Actually there is, like, so much proof. [proceeds to give all proofs, followed with the presence of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan as eyewitnesses, regarding Trade Federation's invasion]
    Chancellor Valorum: [to Lott Dod and other Trade Federation's senators] Well holy crap, you guys! This ends now! [to everyone else] Send reinforcements immediately!
    Palpatine: [reluctantly, as everyone else is cheering and applauding on Valorum's command] Haha... yay!
    • Also, Darth Maul's reaction when many other Jedi Council members appear to fight him instead of just Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan as in the movie.
  • From their "And the Reboot goes On" video:
    Superman: I'm so over reboots!
    Batman: You... you just had a reboot.
    Superman: Uh...
    Batman: I'm gonna reboot with you when we get mad and fight for two hours!
    Superman: OK.
    Aquaman appears on the outside
    Aquaman: I want a reboot! Can I get all tatted up and wear guy-liner?
    Batman: Uh... sure. Ok.
    Aquaman: Allrighty, then! Well, see you later!