Funny / Shack Tactical

• Chocolate Rain mission.
• At one time, Shack Tactical members participated in a mission only to found out a bug involving an IED that keeps respawning...
• Every time CHKilroy starts mimicking other nations' accent, another country is added to Beagle's Countries CHKilroy is not allowed to go list.
• And here CHKilroy's driving skill caused his car to be mysteriously emptied out, one by one...
• Arma is a Military Simulator.
  Injured fellow ShackTac'er: Medic. I need a medic.
  CHKilroy: (Running away) No you're fucked!.
  Later, he sees clan leader Dslyecxi get downed by enemy fire:
  CHKilroy: No! NO! (applies hemostat in a rush, as his HUD notes he's leaving Dslyecxi unconscious and in pain on the ground) That's all I can do for you goodbye! (Continues running away)
• Team-Building Exercises with the Brandenburgische Artillerie-Brigade, culminating with a messy regimental fistfight and a twist ending.
• pFNG calgon gives a truly whimsical contact report on the last enemy player and assaults him with an inherent sense of wonder.
  Beagle: Shoot that motherfucker!
  Calgon: Yeahhhh! *Runs toward the city*
• CHKilroy's Professional Hostage Services, $50/hr, a round of Dark Business where he annoyed the hell out of his captors.
• A Parachuting Accnident
  Beagle: Nid died parachuting on top of a tank. And he killed it.
  A YouTube comment: So the pilot did carry through on his threat to replace his chute with silverware.
• Briefing: You're fucked. No map, no compass, get to the LZ.
  You're fucked. If you make it, there are some CH-47s you can use to either extract or go look for others. Only SLs and FTLs have compasses.
  • At one moment the entire team ran up to an approaching jeep intending to use it, not realizing the AIs inside... The team survived, but one of the tires doesn't.
• How to traumatize a pFNG
• BlackDragon is a terrible person. In this scenario, BlackDragon is a member of a rock and roll band brought into a war torn area to perform for the peacekeepers and try to boost local morale. When an attack begins during the concert, Taconic and his soldiers have to escort the band and its entourage to safety and evacuate them. BlackDragon, however, decides to troll Taconic by being as big a Millstone as humanly possible. All Taconic can do is shout at BlackDragon in helpless rage and contemplate whether it would be worth it to fail the mission just for the opportunity to shoot BlackDragon and shut him up.
  Taconic: BlackDragon, I will shoot you in your fucking legs and carry you if you don't move south right now!
  BlackDragon: You can't shoot me, I'm your objective!
  • Imagine what's going on in peacekeepers' head when Europe's The Final Countdown starts playing during a firefight.
• The entire video UN Sleepover. Kilroy is the leader of a three-man U.N. team (with Chubrachurro and Pokemaughn) that has been severely injured in a convoy ambush in Aliabad. Protected by the PMCs that accompanied them in the convoy, the U.N. soldiers must wait for extract by the U.S. Marines. The situation quickly degenerates into a complete farce, continues with a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment involving a Deliberate Injury Gambit, and ends with Dslyecxi brazenly driving right up to the Marines' regrouping point and killing several of them.
  • After the PMCs show the UN personnel into a defensible building:
    Phil (PMC): Let me know what you need, and I'll find a better place if you need it.
    Kilroy: OK, my needs are: 3 lbs. of Go-Gurt, 4 bottles of orange juice, and a medic.
    Phil: What kind of flavor do you want for that Go-Gurt?
    Kilroy: I don't know. I just have a need, man.
    Chubrachurro: Blueberry blast!
    Phil: [Goes out and comes back] Alright, the Go-Gurt's on the way. That's the good news. The bad news is that it's in the chopper, and that chopper is about 10 hours away. Once it gets here, we're gonna have Go-Gurt, we're gonna have stretchers, maybe some morphine...
    Pokemaughn: Capri-Sun!
    Phil: No. Capri-Sun is all out. So, sit tight. There should be some weed in those bags back there behind Kilroy.
    Kilroy: [Looks over] Those are pots. Are you high?
    Phil: [Goes over to look in the pots] Oh, it's beads. Nevermind.
• Shacktac'ers play Crusader Kings 2
  "WHO FUCKED MY WIFE? She's not even good looking!"
  "My wife is pregnant, but I have no balls."
  "Speaking of daughters, I've got one for sale..."
• Beagle's Team SPECTRE
  Beagle: "Yeah, if I die here someone can pick up my radio and keep pissing off platoon command by having an incomprehensible voice."
• The priceless "There's a guy taking your Jeep." Can't be too careful these days.
• Shack Tactical has a scenario called "The Game" which is their own version of The Ship modded into ArmA. The premise: everyone is poisoned to death unless they kill a marked target, repeat until there's only one left standing. It quickly became one of the main source of humour on ShackTac.
  • Just having too many people in one place can get everyone to start acting strange.
  • Even the police gets in on it...
  • In SHACKCOPS 3, after a player rammed a police officer at the checkpoint:
    Beagle: "Uh... This is, ah... 11-Buckshot. We need a paramedic for an officer up... in the air... and then he came down."
  • During the beginning of Scuba's First Beat, the police came across Knubinator who ran another player down the road. The enforcers proceed to get rid of his tires, upon which Knubinator just switches to the police's own car they just got out of. In the plain view of everyone to boot.
• The premise of No vis? No regrets! Dslyecxi is flying a helicopter on a rescue ops.
  The mission shown is a coop (vs AI) on the Takistan terrain, or it could be Razani, or Clafghan... who the hell knows, look at that fog!
• Giggles the Carjacker is a Dark Business mission in which Dslyecxi - the hostage - manages to hijack a truck containing a large portion of his captors (including their leader). The bulk of the video consists of both INDFOR and OPFOR attempting to run the truck off the road. The situation is so bizarre that Dslyecxi just cannot stop giggling throughout.
• cs_cindercity scenario. Of all the things they can make, it had to be a crude Counter-Strike hostage rescue mission...
  • Complete with pistol round.
• Flaremonkey has this bit of amusing description based on a song by Jonathan Coulton.
  Flare monkey get up get coffee
  Flare monkey go to job
  Flare monkey have detailed briefing
  With detailed side leader Dodge
  Dodge say flare monkey death is imminent
  Mission's on the brink
  His death heroic and inspiring
  What do flare monkey think?
  Flare monkey think maybe side leader want to take god damned bunker pos himself
  Flare monkey not say it out loud
  Flare monkey busy ducking some rounds
  
  Flare monkey likes freedom
  Flare monkey likes life and living through
  Flare monkey very simple troop
  With one big super secret wish:
  Flare monkey want to live
  Flare monkey want to live
• At the very beginning of The Life of MAT, Dslyecxi discovers that Scotty, who had apparently volunteered to play as one of the commanders in the mission, is not playing that role. The following exchange takes place:
  Dslyecxi: I want you as either Platoon Commander or Company Commander from the start of a mission.
  EvilScotsman: Well, me'n Taconic'd plannedit ferthisone, but, eh, Essah managedta jumpin justonme. ^note Translation: Essah took the commander's slot before I could.
  Beagle (Confused): ...What?
  Dslyecxi: Oh, really? Well I'll have to have a word with Essah.
  EvilScotsman: Noo, noo, noo. S'fine. S'fine.
  Beagle: This is fucked up, Dslyecxi. You actually understand what he's saying?
  Dslyecxi: Miraculously. That's why I find it so funny!
  Beagle: It's like looking at someone trying to talk to their dog, and they're like: "Oh really? Yeah!"
  EvilScotsman: Ifink tha'soffensive, feraguy tha'snamed Beagle.
• During a quiet moment in "Informants," Beagle gets serious about cereal.
  Beagle: What I meant to say, is damn, son, I got those cornflakes, you have no idea. I made it rain. I made it fuckin' rain cornflakes, you have no idea.
• Due to some odd bug in ArmA, Dslyecxi's helicopter continues to fly for a long while even after Cranesong noticed that rotor is not moving, having taken anti-air hits.
  Cranesong: "I HAVE BEEN ASSURED BY THE PILOT THAT THIS IS FINE."
  FAC: Affirmative. Um... godspeed?
  • "Your reality was the bad one."
• This, from Salient Points:
  Someone: Hey, Awo, d'you wanna punch Ghostboots?
  Awo: I, umm... What would Jesus do?
• During mission briefing of Beagle's Beautiful Carnage:
  Philogogus: "...We'll be either: (1) secure the supply cache or (2) steal the truck depending on who's the slowest. Do you have any question?"
  Jamball: "Why does Nid have little cat ears?"
• Embedded with Coast Guardsmen
  • The following conversation takes place in the helicopter at the start of the mission, between Doubleumc (the pilot) and Bobik (a journalist tagging along):
    Bobik: Can you explain to me what all these buttons do?
    Doubleumc: You see the one right in the middle of the dashboard? The big one? Don't press that one. That will kill us all.
    Bobik: How does that kill us all?
    Doubleumc: Well, if you hold the button in, then... uh... it kinda ignites all the fuel, and that's very bad.
    Bobik: Why would a helicopter have a button like that?
    Doubleumc: For emergencies.
  • The conversation continues...
    Doubleumc: When there are too many choppers in the area, things start to go a little weird.
    Bobik: What do you mean? How do they go weird?
    Doubleumc: Y'know, like choppers hitting each other, cats and dogs living together, mass chaos.
    Bobik: What's wrong with choppers hitting each other? Is it wrong for two choppers to hit each other?
    Doubleumc: Yes. It's very wrong. They should only love each other.
    Bobik: That seems kind of unfair. What if they want to hit each other?
    Doubleumc: Look, what two choppers do between themselves should be kept civil in a public environment. This is a public environment.
  • And continues...
    Bobik: Who are you talking to?
    Doubleumc: I'm using radio, buddy.
    Bobik: What's a "radio"?
    Doubleumc: It's like "Radio Direction and Finding", except you know where the fuck they are.
  • After the napalm attack, Kilroy screams for help as he carries the burnt and unconscious Bobik back to the friendly position:
    Kilroy: Help! This man needs a plastic surgeon!!
• Most of the video War is Kinda Funny, even if sometimes it's only for how horribly, hilariously wrong things go for the Shack Tac players.
  • For example, the video starts off with Dslyecxi piloting a helicopter with a squad full of Shackers into a war torn city. The helo is hit by anti aircraft fire on the way in, but because Dslyecxi is piloting, they land safely. However, within seconds of them landing an artillery shell comes down directly on the helicopter, killing the half of the squad that didn't immediately run away from it at top speed. Cue all the incredulous survivors and spectators alike crying out "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!" It was at that moment that they knew that This Is Gonna Suck.
  • Later "highlights" include incidents like a pair of machine gunners unloading their entire clips at a single target, (about 100 rounds apiece) complete with Rambo shouting, before they're sure that they've killed him, Claymore frantically trying to kill a Russian with a pistol, only for the Russian to completely No-Sell it due to his body armor until another Shacker shoots the Russian with his rifle, instantly killing the Russian, and a prone player getting up to a crouch despite another player behind them being in the middle of shooting, putting the player who had been prone directly in the life of fire and getting a bullet to the back of the neck as a result.
  • But the king is definitely what happens to Hunter. Dslyecxi and Claymore find Hunter wounded and unconscious, so Dsylecxi tries to drag Hunter to safety while Claymore stands guard. Claymore gets killed, leading to Dslyecxi hiding and hoping the enemy misses him. They do... but literally within two seconds of Hunter regaining consciousness on his own he is spotted and shot in the head by the enemy. (This results in a sequence where Hunter raises his head from the ground, starts to do an animation, gets shot, and then just lies back down in the exact same position and spot, as though he'd never woken up at all.) Somehow Hunter survives that, and wakes up again, this time staying conscious for a whole ten seconds or so before the AI shoots him again, this time in the leg, and he passes out again. Somehow both of them make it out, the only survivors of the mission besides one guy who stayed behind to watch the boat.
  • During the last period when Hunter is unconscious, a pFNG, one of the last survivors besides Dslyecxi, comes over to help... but completely fails to see a nearby Russian and ignores Dslyecxi's attempts to warn him about the Russian's presence. He crosses the street and winds up standing on the same spot where Dslyecxi and Claymore first found Hunter. Dslyecxi tells him not to stand there because it's too exposed and right in the line of sight of the Russian, but the exact moment Dslyecxi finishes saying "Don't stand there" the Russian kills the pFNG with a single shot.
  • During later parts of the video, Beagle gets in a few snarky comments in the text chat, including "Punch it, Chewie!" as Dslyecxi and Hunter start speeding up in the boat to try to escape.
• In Sacrifice Kevb0, before the group starts the mission, they take a minute to go into a church and pray. No words can do justice to the result.
• The sudden horrified realization on the part of Blackdragon when he realizes that an enemy plane shot down by anti aircraft fire is about to crash right into him and Dslyecxi in this video is worth a few chuckles.
  Blackdragon: ... I can't believe that just happened.
• In the mission Shoots and Ladders, a team of Secret Service agents tries to protect the Vice President from being killed or captured by the Russians, and must hold out until a Ranger platoon can reach them and bring them to safety. By the time the Rangers arrive, only a single Secret Service agent and the Vice President himself are left alive, holed up in a building with dozens of dead enemies and allies alike. When the Vice President testily calls out a Ranger over how long it took them to get there, the Ranger has the absolute perfect response.
  Vice President: A little late there boys.
  Ranger: Well, we didn't vote for you, so...
• Chris (Cha)'s hilarious death in Uh, Chris? is another case that has to be seen to believed.
• Dslyecxi's Regards. Dslyecxi is away for a week, so he asks someone to kill Beagle for him and give Beagle his regards. The Shack Tac crew films a whole bunch of staged vignettes of different players killing Beagle in various ways.
  Taconic: [driving Beagle around] So Beagle, don't you miss Dslyecxi?
  Beagle: No! Why would I miss Dslyecxi?
  Taconic: Well, he sends his regards! [Accelerates car to top speed, driving directly towards a building]
  Beagle: Ohhhhhhhhh noooooooo! [Massive explosion when the car hits the building]
• Peeling the Tide, after the squad's assault on the small Temple of Doom:
  Ghostboots (1FTL): Dslyecxi, there's a lot of cursed shit in here, man.
  Dslyecxi (SL): Oh yeah?
  Ghostboots: I feel like you put bad juju on us.
  Dslyecxi: I'm sure it'll be fine.
  Ghostboots: Have you seen the sacrificial pits that are in this thing?
  Dslyecxi: No.
  Ghostboots: Come look at this and tell me if it's not fucked up, a'ight? Look at this wall that DSM discovered.
  [Ghostboots leads Dslyecxi to a flat wall with crazy-looking Mayincatec drawings etched into it]
  Ghostboots: I feel like it's telling a story. Look, it has a fish — you know how scared I am of fish.
  Dslyecxi: Uh-huh...
  Ghostboots: Then it has a guy who looks like a clown — you know that I'm a clown.
  Dslyecxi: [laughs]
  Ghostboots: Then it has all this bullshit, and that's the bullshit that I deal with in my daily life. This is a fuckin' prophecy, man! This is some cursed shit that you put on me!
  Dslyecxi: Alright, then, good luck for the rest of the mission, I guess.
  Ghostboots: Then they've got a giant bowl that they eat cereal out of...