- Any time Campbell has to report in to his boss: Winston Churchill. Watching cool, collected, ruthless Campbell stammer and ramble like a schoolboy is hilarious.
- Polly losing her temper with Tommy in the church in 1.01, smacking him repeatedly and yelling at him.
- John's double-take as he figures out Finn's drunk his beer at the bonfire. Finn's ten.
- Polly's "Shut Up" Kiss to Campbell, to psych him out after he starts interrogating her and manhandling her.
- Ada being five weeks late in her period. Seven, if you count weekends.
- Tommy Shelby on clothes shopping: "My suits are on the house, or the house burns down."
- Tommy's one-word response to the IRA sympathizer's Nightmare Fuel singing and general craziness: "Bravo."
- Freddie and Polly's exchange in 1.03:
Freddie: You think I can't handle Tommy Shelby?
Polly: I know you can't. I'm having trouble these days, and I'm twice the man you are.
- Tommy gets Polly back later in the episode, also while speaking to Freddie: (on the subject of Polly attempting to pay off Freddie to leave Birmingham) "Polly must have had a rush of blood—or port wine."
- Arthur's sartorial commentary to Grace at Cheltenham, while he's in the middle of a robbery: "Nice dress."
- The entire scene where poor John tries to convince the rest of the family he should marry Lizzie Stark. Arthur's snickering into his drink, Polly's making hooker wisecracks, and even Tommy's hiding smiles behind John's back. All of Polly in that scene, really.
: I want you to see how brave she is! Polly
: Brave is going where no man's gone before… and with Lizzie Stark, John, that is really not what you'll be doing!
Polly: Men and their cocks never cease to amaze me. John, Lizzie Stark's never done a day's work vertical!
- Grace saying she's Irish, she knows a million toasts.
- Tommy informing John he's getting married… standing in front of the gun-wielding Lee family and telling John to "smile—it's a wedding".
- Tommy and Campbell talking about a potential team-up. The dialogue is great (and surprisingly full of Ho Yay/Foe Yay), but the capper is Campbell's amused smirk at Tommy's response.
Campbell: If I win a medal, I will have your initials engraved on its back side.
Tommy: My initials on your backside? Quite an image.
- It's Black Comedy, but the exchange between Tommy and Arthur after Arthur's attempted to hang himself is Actually Pretty Funny.
Tommy: You should've used a gun.
Arthur: Are you laughing at me?
Tommy: (completely unsympathetically) Yeah. Just when things are starting to go right, Arthur, you've gotta go and do this? Look, you’re one of three shareholders. Me, you and John, and according to the law, we are equal partners and it’s written on the paperwork in black and white. A third, a third, a third. But the thing is, well, me and John, we quite fancy splitting your share so, just next time, use a gun, man.
- Tommy bursting in on John and Esme's "efforts in cooperation".
Tommy: John, I've told you to keep the doors locked. Could've been anyone. Get dressed, we're doing it today.
Esme: Bugger that, he's doing me today.
Tommy: Yeah, well, make sure he's done you by nine.
- Mr. Zhang's laundry service also boasts a brothel, and he'll clean and press your shirt while you're busy with your hooker.
- Winston Churchill's offhanded mention that the Prime Minister doesn't smile unless a political opponent dies.
- As Ada shows off her new baby Karl, Arthur steals him and puts his razorblade cap on the baby's head.
Arthur: Look, he looks just like me!
John: That's his arse looks like you, Arthur.
- Jeremiah deciding to join the battle.
Tommy: I know you've vowed never to pick up a rifle again, Jeremiah, but can you ask God from me if you can help us today?
Jeremiah: God says he don't deal with Small Heath, sir!
- Ada walking into no man's land between the Peaky Blinders and Kimber's men—pushing her baby carriage and ordering her husband to shut up.
- Major Campbell visits Winston Churchill in his office in 2.01… only to find the great man calmly (and innocently) sketching a nude life model during his lunch break. Churchill appears to enjoy Campbell's obvious discomfort:
Churchill: I would guess you haven't been exposed to Bohemian society, Major?
Campbell: Well, I… I play cards, on occasion.
Churchill: You're a stranger to cocaine and exotic dancing too, I imagine.
Campbell: I find the more obvious vices easiest to resist.
Churchill: It's the sneaky little obscure ones that bring you to your knees, yes?
- Tommy trolling the IRA representatives in 2.01:
Man: Please allow me to put a bullet in the scum tinker's head.
Irene: No. He researches his enemies, that's why he's been chosen.
Tommy: I'm chosen? (looking up at the man with the gun to his head) I'm chosen. Can the chosen one smoke?
- The Shelby brothers' reaction to the jazz music in the Eden Club. Arthur in particular is not impressed.
- After the beatdown in the club, Tommy is razzing John about wanting to move to the country with Esme and raise chickens. Arthur's editorial commentary is a bellowed "FUCK THE CHICKENS!"
- John and Arthur barging into the Shelby house the morning after the Garrison reopening, pretending to have a mock gun-battle and not realizing that the kid sitting at the table with Polly is her son Michael. Then, when Tommy introduces them, Arthur and John both reminisce about all the crappy things they used to do to Michael as kids.
Arthur: I'm Arthur, you already met me. I used to throw you out the window so John could catch you.
John: Yeah, and I used to put you in a shoebox and kick you down Watery Lane.
Tommy: …bet you're glad to be back.
- Campbell's suggested reading material in 2.03:
- The very Shelby birthday party for Michael at the Garrison.
Arthur: First a drink, then we'll get you a lady of the night!
- Polly's irritation at her holiday being interrupted for her nephews' half-baked plot to buy a racehorse:
Polly: Oh my god, so in the absence of common sense, you boys have had an idea… wait, the Derby?! Did he say the Derby? Did you come up with this idea in a pub, by any chance?
- Alfie and Sabini's childish bickering and point scoring on what should be written down. The fact that they're both feared mob bosses makes it even better.
- Arthur, John, and Finn drinking in the Garrison when Michael and Isaiah come in. All of it.
Arthur: I've got this one, she's a dancer, right? She can do things with her… (looks at Finn) Well, if Finn would just piss off, I could explain a little better.
John: Oi, Finn, go stick your head in a bucket.
- And when Michael and Isaiah tell them about the fight at the Marquis, all three of the brothers stand up at once, but John and Arthur push Finn right back down.
- When Alfie's second in command starts freaking out about the possibility of a bomb Alfie slaps him and tells him to sit in the corner