Funny / Longmire
Almost a Running Gag
with Walt's laconic descriptions of his various injuries:
"Sound and Fury"
- "What happened to your hand?" "Hurt it."
- "What happened to your nose?" "Started bleeding."
- Lampshaded in later seasons:
Vic: What happened to you?
Walt: Got sh-
Vic: (interrupting) And if you say you got shot, so help me, I'll punch you.
"A Good Death is Hard to Find"
- When a criminal has Henry as a hostage, he asks Longmire what he is worth to him. Longmire states that he has known him since he was a boy only to state he has $20 on him. Henry can't seem to help but give Longmire a "you can't be serious" look.
- And then later after disarming the guy, Henry compliments him on his shot. Longmire just comments he couldn't let the guy take his truck.
- In regards to the bit above, Walt specifically says "I got $20 in my pocket." A certain song comes to mind.
- Then there is the time Henry's girlfriend calls him up to flirt with him... while the lines are being listened to by the police.
Henry: Deena, the police are recording this phone call.
Deena: I bet they are, 'cause what I wanna to do you is against the law.
- Walt finds out that his daughter Cady has been working at the Red Pony parttime, and he doesn't seem happy about it. But shortly afterwards, Cady finds out that a "hot guy" at a certain table was a potential hitman. The smile on Walt's face when he says "Yeah. These are the kind of people you come across when you work in a bar" is just has such a smartass Take That to it, given the context.
"Ashes to Ashes"
- When Walt tells Branch that they're going to go see Lucian, the look on Branch's face clearly says "Let's not".
- The cowboy's "poetry" when Walt enters the Red Pony.
"The ideal woman is like a good cowboy stew-
Meaty and saucy and easy to chew.
Her spuds should be yummy without being gummy
And her scent should never turn your face blue."
- And then, following that, Henry and Lucian's reactions.
Walt: Lucian, we need to talk.
Lucian: (Grinning) Good, 'cause this here boy's a few iambs short of a full pentameter anyway.
Walt: (To Henry) Can we use your office?
Henry: (Flatly, as he pours a great deal of alcohol into his own glass) And miss all this?
"Down by the River"
- Walt and Henry are robbing a grave in Denver when the local authorities show up. Walt pretends to be apprehending Henry, when one of the locals notices an inconsistency:
Cop: Why does he have two shovels?
Walt: I just asked this smart-ass the same question. Know what he said?
Walt: (to Henry) Tell him what you said.
- After Henry has wrestled Walt's rifle away from him and convinced Walt that killing Nighthorse, who is arriving in a small plane, won't fix anything:
Nighthorse: So, what are you two doing here?
) Customs. Anything to declare?
Henry: OK, then. Our work here is done.