Funny / Lindsay Ellis 2019 Episodes

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Independence Day vs. War of the Worlds

• Introducing the Independence Day aliens by calling them "dumb as rocks" (punctuated by hand-claps). ^note She calls back to it later.

Will Smith: [punches out alien] Welcome to Earth.

• Using "Macarena" and "My Humps" to illustrate the "two widely-different eras" of The '90s and 2005 respectively.
  • This is repeated by contrasting the Bat credit card scene from Batman & Robin with the "SWEAR TO ME!" scene from Batman Begins.
• On comparing the looks of the aliens ^note (carried over from the original version of this video essay):
  Lindsay: Only I guess these guys have mouths, so they can go "Bleh."
  War of the Worlds alien: Bleh!
  • She later disparagingly refers to them as "big-eyed, cute aliens", noting how this clashes with the tone of the rest of the film.
• "I'm not saying it would've been better if Robbie never came back into the narrative—well, I mean it kinda would have, it would've shown Ray his inadequacy has a consequence..."

How Aladdin Changed Animation (by Screwing Over Robin Williams)

• After mentioning the revival of Williams' film career with Good Morning, Vietnam, Dead Poets Society and Hook:
  Lindsay: But none of these are so relevant to the story of Aladdin as a charming little polemic by the name of...
  Title card: FernGully: The Last Rainforest
  Sub-title: (no really) ^note (possibly referring to her review as The Nostalgia Chick)
• On Williams' request that he not be used in more than 25% of the film's marketing:
  Lindsay: [chuckles] Williams said... "Don't merchandise my character"... To Disney. [chuckles] Aw...
• The welcome return of "I'm losing to a BIRD!"—and again making it a Running Gag.
• While reviewing the other animation studios and their similar push for celebrity voice talent, a trailer for The Star abruptly cuts her off to emphasize the sheer deluge of celebrities hired, only stopped by her bewilderment at Oprah being netted for the film.
• While Lindsay doesn't exactly say it, she manages to communicate her opinion on Bicentennial Man through the clip she pulls from it.
  Amanda/Little Miss: It's scary...
  Grace/Miss: It's not scary, it's stupid.
• Lindsay constantly referring to Jeffrey Katzenberg as a "petty asshole", complete with a flowery photoshopped image of Katzenberg and an Enya song playing.

We Need to Talk About Game of Thrones I Guess

• The opening:
  Lindsay: So, the internet has lost its mind.
  [Hard cut to a collage of thinkpieces about Season 8 of Game of Thrones, set to Verdi's "Dies Irae, Libera Me".]
  Lindsay: ...I include myself in that description...
  [Hard cut to an identical collage of Lindsay's tweets complaining about the season.]
  • [in an almost dejected tone] "Sometimes, [you] got some feelings and you... You just gotta monetize them.
• Her rapid-fire recap of the entire show's run:
  • Her subtitles for each season highlight the fandom's ride from being excited to despondent with each successive season.
    Season 1: This is awesome!!
    Season 2: Wow it's even better!
    Season 3: Shit gets real!
    Season 4: Get aboard the HYPE train
    Season 5: Shit's still cool, right??
    Season 6: Okay maybe last season was a fluke and now we're going to get back on track this is gonna be great
    Season 7: I'm starting to get worried
    Season 8: Kill me
  • Some of Season eight's individual episodes get subtitles in narration: Episode 4 is "I want to die", Episode 5 is "Kill me", and Episode 6 is "I long for death."
• Cracking that Season 8 Episode 2 would be remembered as the last decent episode of the show, and that its emotional moments would be shat upon later.
• Tywin's introduction is accompanied by floating hearts, a pink cursive "SENPAI", and Heart's "These Dreams."
  Lindsay: "Charles Dance is the real power behind the throne, and also the best character in television history. Do not @ me, he just is."
• Disdain for the show's portrayal of Tyrion killing Shae is made clear by calling him "Boyfriend of the Year! He apologized!" while playing "Sorry".
  Lindsay: But not before he murders Charles Dance... and also his girlfriend. But don't worry, he's still totally sympathetic!
  Tyrion: I'm sorry. (note that this is a post-mortem apology)
• Referring to Euron as "Hot Topic Pirate", and "the worst character on the show" *plays clip of Euron talking about giving Daenarys his 'big cock'.* "or possibly any show."
  • Euron even gets his own Leitmotif — A random Shittyflute plays in the background whenever he's mentioned!
  • As she calls Euron the worst character on the show, an asterisk appears on screen with the caption "arguably" and a picture of the Sand Snakes.
• Nicknaming Walder Frey "Lord Life Alert" and Balon Greyjoy "Lord of the No One Cares Islands", and summing up his character as trying to keep reminding people that he's involved in the war too and still no one cares. This is accompanied with Lord Life Alert getting his own Life Alert ad◊, and with Balon getting...crickets chirping as he is shown.
• Playing Turn Down For What? every time Robert Baratheon (AKA Bobby BEEEEEEEEEEEEE!) is mentioned.
• The Jon Snow/Daenerys romance in season 7 is edited together to make it seem like a trailer for a fluffy romcom movie.
• The Series Continuity Error of "The Bells" is underlined by a rapid-fire montage of Tyrion saying the bells, and then immediately cutting to them said to be used for anything but surrender in season 2. The yodelling as background music is the cherry on top.
• "And then the bells ring, and then Daenerys is like 'noooo, I think um I'm gonna do some WAR CRIMES.' And then does 9/11 like times a hundred."
• Her reaction to Bran being the ruler in the end on the sole basis of stories being the best qualifier is simply "EUAAGGHH-".
• The Running Gag of pointing out "empowering feminist moments"^note Read: "strong independent women" doing some really questionable stuff, just like the boys! (e.g. Sansa feeding Ramsay Bolton to his hounds, or Cersei refusing to send troops to fight the White Walkers) set to "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks.
• Lindsay checks her notes for several seconds to assert that the writing was... bad.
• The Cleganebowl montage set to a techno remix of "Who Let The Dogs Out?", with lots of airhorns, image macro text, and two fat corgis fighting. It even gets reused as the credits for the following video!

The Last of the Game of Thrones Hot Takes

• The video basically consists of Lindsay taking apart the writing of the entirety of Season 8 and showing how there were numerous failings of setup-payoff and character development. While much of the video is academic, there's one moment where Lindsay starts talking about Daenerys's "arc" that is absolutely hysterical.
  Lindsay: As it turns out, she's super Hitler! The Hitler that fliiiiiiiiiiiies.
  (Katy Perry's "Roar" plays while Dany burns King's Landing down)
• Just the general exasperated tone Lindsay takes.
• The throwback to her Hercules video: "That's right, bitches. The funyuns are back."
• 'Tis the season for some treason! with uncomfortable expressions from Dany, Tyrion, Jon, and Varys on a Christmas card.
  Season's Treasons! From all of us dumbasses
• Having been given a gift in the form of the clip of one of the writers saying Dany "kind of forgot about the Iron Fleet", Lindsay makes sure to use the phrase "kind of forgot" in the context of multiple continuity errors, accompanied by the clip playing under her own lines.
• "But your grace, what about the Geneva Conventions?"
• Her issue with trying to apply the "First They Came" poem to Dany's Face–Heel Turn:
  Lindsay: First she came for the slavers, and I did not speak out because I was not a slaver. Then she came for the slave masters that crucified a bunch of slave children and I did not speak out. Then she killed a bunch of fucking innocent women and children, so really I'm the idiot, I guess. One two progression, should have seen that coming. It really makes you think. We live in a society.
• Her irritation at the Starks' refusal to trust anyone in season 8 has her comment that their house motto should be changed to "Fuck you, got mine" accompanied by their sigil changed to be Flipping the Bird.
• The use of a SpongeBob-esque "X Seasons Earlier/Later" card—voiced by Hbomberguy—becomes a Running Gag. And then "Five Seasons Earlier" happens and Hbomberguy goes:
  "Five Seasons Earlier. Wait, how long is this show? I've been putting it off until I read the books, but should I just start watching the show? Tell me if I should in the comments...of Lindsay's video."
  • And this is after he previously accused Lindsay of stealing his joke.
• The image summarizing Jon Snow's ultimate characterization: a deflated blobfish with a crudely-drawn sword and black wig and a speech bubble saying "muh queen".
• Lindsay pretending to throw up after lines of awful and problematic dialogue.
• When talking about the showrunners trying to explain the burning of King's landing with Dany 'making it personal', Lindsay points out the script says a different thing... with a photoshopped image of the script titled 'Dany make big place go boom boom :(' and an Emmy in the shot.
• When she points out that Cersei blowing up the Sept should have led to a lot of smallfolk hating her and being happy at the prospect of Daenerys taking over King's Landing... including editing a banner onto King's Landing saying "Welcome Dragon Queen!" and sky writing saying "We <3 Dany"
  • Pointing out that Cersei really isn't going to give a shit about Dany burning all the people of King's Landing, considering they're the same people that have mocked her for years and during her walk of shame threw feces at her. Lindsay asserts that Cersei's attitude towards such a deed would be "you go, girl", accompanied by a thought bubble inserted over Cersei watching Dany that reads "Damn, I wish I could have done that."
• Notes that Cersei spends all of Season 8 with a glass of wine "glowering over my dominion" - which is then followed by a shot of Lindsay herself from her video essay on The Phantom of the Opera (2004) drinking a glass of wine - and she says "I get it, that's my usual Friday night".
• The Stinger, lampooning the show's ending by dubbing over the "constitutional peasant" scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
  Dennis the Peasant: Listen: Strange dwarves sitting in councils telling good stories are no basis for a system of government!
  King Arthur: Be quiet!
  Dennis the Peasant: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some rhapsodic dwarf strung a narrative together!
  King Arthur: Shut up!
  Dennis the Peasant: I mean, if I went 'round, sayin' I was an Emperor, just because I said could recount the entire plot of Anna Karenina, they'd put me away!
• Near the end of Tyrion's segment, he made of speech about the importance of stories while being self-congratulatory from the writers.
  Lindsay: So Tyrion's thesis is about the importance of storytelling and writing and how writers are the most important people alive and PLEASEGIVEUSANEMMY!
• A few points where Lindsay points out all the logical inconsistencies with things the characters say. Examples include...
  • This moment:
  Tyrion: They remember what happened the last time Targaryens brought dragons north.
  (Cut to Lindsay, giving the screen a stern glare)
  Lindsay: Yeah, nothing. Nothing happened. When Aegon the Conqueror invaded the North bent the knee immediately and joined the Seven Kingdoms without a fight and nobody died. The countryside was not burninated. The king at the time was called "The King Who Knelt" for a reason. I guess someone kinda forgot.
  • Lindsay to Tyrion:
  Tyrion: I know that city better than anyone, it will fall tomorrow!
  Lindsay: BASED ON WHAT!? THOSE DRAGONS HAVE THE FORTITUDE OF HUMMINGBIRDS! Up until now it seemed pretty evenly matched—ugh, whatever...

Woke Disney

• Calling Maleficent "My Trash" and saying that as far as the title character's motivations go:
  Lindsay: I think that only Angelina Jolie knew what she was doing.
  Maleficent: [blood-curdling scream]
  Lindsay: I mean, I get it, girl.
• Revisiting the "Teaching another girl to read? Isn't one enough?" Running Gag from her Beauty and the Beast (2017) review:
  Lindsay: [in a sarcastic tone] Get it? The original movie wasn't empowering. Now... it is.
  [Belle gets hit in the face with a huge CGI snowball and falls over.]
• Introducing Disney's grasp of "wokeness" with Steve Buscemi's  "How do you do, fellow kids?"
• Using a #GirlBoss overlay complete with pink filter, air horns and "Fight Song."
  • The fact that said overlay doesn't appear for a Rule of Three when Lindsay is talking about 2017 Belle and Beast's complete lack of chemistry, implying that even the #GirlBoss overlay refused to dignify that with a response.
• The aforementioned Take That! at live action Belle and Beast's lack of chemistry is emphasized by editing in middle school dance decorations into the dance scene.
• Watching her new, still-in-box Jasmine doll sing "A Whole New World" while awkwardly smiling.
  Lindsay: A whole new world... To lean into!
• In the tradition of appropriating film clips to comment on the film itself, it falls to Alan Arkin's character from Dumbo (2019) saying "So?" and "Wow, this is a disaster!" regarding Disney's film trends.
• On tapping Guy Ritchie to direct the live-action Aladdin (2019):
  Lindsay: "Was all of Bollywood unavailable? All of it?"
• The cute little Freeze-Frame Bonus when Lindsay's talking about the infamous crows from Dumbo wherein she points out that despite the racism, their song "totally slaps".

How to Get a Book Deal in Ten Years or Less

• Delivers a non-sequitur about her Jesus Christ Superstar shirt, saying "The Cats trailer has sent [her] spiraling into a severe Andrew Lloyd Webber relapse this fall."
• Naming her two works-in-progress Trunk Novel (in Comic Sans with an alien emoji) and Commercial As Fuck (in a Retraux font).
• With all the hurdles of the publishing industry, the Running Gag for this video involves screaming into a pillow in black-and-white with wavy effects on the screen.
  • A similar gag pops up (a clown face edited over her own with a honking in the background) whenever her hubris comes to bite her in the butt.
• When explaining the difficulties in writing a query letter, Lindsay demonstrates with a wonderfully absurd example, complete with corpsing:
  Lindsay: There’s a business centaur that owns a company, and he’s just, he’s living his life until one day a plucky young virgin becomes his secretary or something. And then, oh the passion- Yeah see I’m really good at this.

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