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Funny: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
  • During his segment on Nintendo's lack of same-sex marriages in Tomodachi Life, John shows a few clips of Nintendo's other characters enjoying those rights. Mario and Link kiss, Peach and Zelda have a Sexy Discretion Shot, Yoshi marries Toad (complete with Yoshi doubling in size by kissing him), and finally, Bowser (with a mustache) receiving death benefits after his longtime partner Donkey Kong passes away. To make up for that last one, it then cuts to Bowser and Donkey Kong both alive and well, now having brunch together.
  • Stephen Hawking himself administering multiple third degree metaphorical burns to Oliver over the course of their short interview.
    John: You've stated that you believe there could be an *infinite* number of parallel universes, *does* that mean...that there is a universe out there...where I am smarter than you?
    Stephen: Yes. And also a universe where you're funny.
    • John follows that train of thought, to see if there are any universes where he gets to go on a date with Charlize Theron:
      Stephen: No.
      John: What, not at all? In no univers-
      Stephen: No.
      John: In none of the infinite universes does that happen.
      Stephen: No.
      John: It's completely beyond the bounds of scientific possibility, is what you're saying.
      Stephen: Yes.
      John: ...[beat] Quick follow-up question: in any of those of potential universes am I the one rejecting her, and that's why it doesn't work?
      Stephen: No. You do realise that typing a response is difficult for me, correct?
      John: Ok, yeah, sure, I'm just trying to play this out, see if there are any hypothetical univers-
      Stephen: No.
  • The entire segment about Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott.
    "Australia is for real Australians, like Tony Abbott, who was actually born in London, England."
  • When discussing FIFA's request that Brazil change the law in order to allow alcohol in sports stadiums, they played a clip of a French FIFA official asking them to do so.note  John then continues:
    John: (in French accent) Maybe I look a beet arrogahnt, but uh, how you say, fuck your laws, and your pooblic saff-ty. Is zat right?
    • Also, regarding the fact that FIFA has a billion dollars in the bank when the chairman says that they're non-profit.
    Sepp Blatter: This a reserve.
    John: A reserve? A reserve of a billion dollars. When your rainy day fund is so big you've got to check it for swimming cartoon ducks, you might not be a non-profit anymore.
  • When pandering while describing the issue with Dr. Oz, Oliver brings on George R. R. Martin to demonstrate pandering.
    John: Hey, George. How's your writing going?
    George: [on Skype] I just killed three of your favorite characters.
    John: What?! It's not Arya, is it!? Give me a hint! It's not Arya, right?!
    George: [shrug]
  • In setting up his interview with Pepe Julian Onziema, a Uganda LGBT activist, John showed a clip from a Ugandan morning show that Pepe was on. The first question out of the interviewer's mouth was "Why are you gay?" Naturally, thinking this is how all interviews in Uganda start, John had this as his first question for Pepe.
  • The fake attack ads against Allison Grimes and Mitch McConnell. Especially the latter.
    For too long, politics in Washington have been dominated by old, white, wrinkled dicks. And no dick is older, whiter, or wrinklier than Mitch McConnell's.
    (A close shot of an old, white, wrinkled penis appears)
    Think about that, Kentucky. And don't just think about it - look at it.
  • The discussion of gambling addiction commercials in Singapore.
  • John Oliver, sad over the broken prison system of America, tries to talk to a bunch of Muppet children about his worries. One of the kids says that his dad is in jail for a minor drug offense. John agrees with the kid that his dad probably shouldn't be in prison for that. But then one girl speaks up.
    Muppet Girl: Well, my daddy's in prison because he killed four people!
    John Oliver: (A little stunned) Well, okay, he's actually a dangerous individual who NEEDS to be in prison.
  • Due to laws in Thailand that prohibit insulting their monarchy, John is put on their military watch list (as a threat, no less) after he does a segment mocking said monarchy. His response is to complain about their reveal of his middle name and to promptly burn several more bridges by insulting all the monarchies of countries that have similar laws.
  • During the coverage of the Argentine banking default, when it's revealed that one of the American hedge funds that lent to the government apparently tried to repossess one of the country's naval crafts after they couldn't sufficiently pay their debts:
    John: Just... just think about that. A secretive millonaire's hedge fund essentially boat-jacked a warship, like a Somali pirate in an Armani suit.
    (Picture of Barkhad Abdi as Muse wearing a gray three-piece appears on-screen)
  • When covering the issue of the Wage Gap between men and women, John closes the show with a faux commercial for "Ladybucks", a way for corporations to pay women the same amount of money as men, but with the value being 83 cents under the value of actual currency. One notable payoff is when a female employee gives her male employer a "thumbs up" when he peeks in her cubicle, but then flips him off with both hands the second his back is turned.
    • The Side Effects Include... gag capping off the Ladybucks add (which honestly should be what happens to businesses using the wage gap):
  • The entire discussion on the Scottish Independence debate, especially John's mini-rant on British Prime Minister David Cameron.
    News Clip: He's seen in Scotland as the personification of everything that's wrong with England and the U.K.
    John Oliver: Yeah, I agree with that. He embodies all the things I hate most about England and I'm English! Let me prove this to you. (photo of several Oxford University students, including Cameron) This is a picture of him as a student at Oxford. He's in f***ing tails!
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