Master Li: And then you punched a mountain. In SPACE.
When you're given control of The Black Whirlwind for a few moments, check your mission log and read his steps for getting up in the morning.
Even better in that same mission: for every 20 assassins you kill without killing the golem, a deep, resounding voice rings out. The first four (at 20, 40, 60, and 80) are "Untold Slaughter!", "Bringer of Pain!", "Destroyer of Lives!", and "Ravager of the Ages!", respectively. The message at 100? "Just...just kill the golem already, would you?"
In the excursion to the swamps, you get a quest to find Fen, the Flower of the Fields. You then see a woman guarded by some enemies and save her. Her name is Wa, and "Fen" is the man's ox. She gives him quite a chewing out.
Most of what Kang the Mad says, as well as Black Whirlwind and Henpecked Hou, leading to some light moments in some of the more serious environments in the game.
Behind the tea house in Tien's landing, you can talk to a cook and his assistant. Their dialogue certainly counts as this.
The Outlander quest in the Scholar's Garden. For those who have not played the game: an absurdly-dressedoutlander (a man from a Fantasy Counterpart Culture of Elizabethan England, voicedin an over-the-top manner byJohn Cleesefor the heck of it) named Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard has showed up in the Scholar's Garden and started insulting the Jade Empire. One of the scholars is out looking for someone who wouldn't lose their cool at the insults, and finds you, who he asks to convince the outlander to leave. This is accomplished by beating him in a debate, after which you are challenged to a duel in which he uses a musket named Mirabelle. On his defeat, he leaves in disgrace.
Sir Roderick: Percival! FLUFF MY TRAVELING TROUSERS!
The quest giver is good for a chuckle too.
Servant: Your physique seems exceptional. Clearly you are a peasant; a noble could afford sloth.
Some of Minister Sheng's dialouge.
"Now go close the dam and I never said that!"
[cue melodramatic ham] "Surely there is no minister more unfortunate than Minister Sheng!"
The list of terrible things that have happened to Minister Sheng since he took office, ranging from a dog defecating in his shoes, being told he was "smelly", being insulted by local children, and having his office burned to the ground.
Causing all of Princess Sun Lian's entourage to faint upon meeting her in the Imperial City. Especially since their embarrassment for her causes her more embarrassment than your actions.
And you get a bonus for it, too!
If you take the role of Lady Fourteen Flowers as a female Spirit Monk, the playwright will essentially propose that you disguise as a man playing a woman. He will also state that there are plenty of female actors and he has nothing but respect for them, because all that chestbinding and trousers-stuffing looks tough. Values Dissonance has rarely been funnier.
If you do the same quest as a male Spirit Monk, the playwright explains that all women in plays are played by men, "or at least women with the decency to pretend to be men". He admits that "it can get a bit confusing" figuring it out.
The power attack for Drunken Master has you planking on your opponent: standing ramrod-straight, feet together and arms at your sides, and falling on them. It's... rather surreal, particularly in a wuxia game.