Funny / Iron Man
Brick Joke: you are clear for landing.
  • Tony's response for being called as "Da Vinci of our time"?
    "Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint."
    • Before that, when Everhart had just arrived to interview Tony, Tony didn't look at her before Happy Hogan told him "She's cute". It looks like it's already Hogan's duty to check up on an unknown or new girl who chases Tony for anything so Tony can decide whether he would greet the girl or not.
  • Discussing Pepper's birthday:
    Tony: I don't like it when you have plans.
    Pepper: I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday.
    Tony: Your birthday?
    Pepper: Yes.
    Tony: I knew that... already?
    Pepper: Yeah, it's strange, isn't it? It's just the same day as last year.
  • Before all hell breaks loose, Tony's conversation with the soldiers in the Jeep.
    "I don't want to see this on your MySpace Page. Please, no gang signs... No, throw it up, I'm kidding."
    "Yeah peace, I love peace! I'd be out of a job with peace..."
    • Also at the beginning:
      Soldier: Is it true that you went twelve-for-twelve with the Maxim Girls last year?
      Tony Stark: That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict but fortunately the Christmas cover was twins.
  • Also also at the beginning:
    Tony: I'm sorry, this is the Funvee. The Humdrumvee is over there.
    • The Brick Joke is that when Tony is reunited with Rhodey, haggard, injured and near complete exhaustion, Rhodey's first words are, "How was the funvee?"
      • Given how close the two are, and that this is exactly the kind of thing Tony would say in the situation, he chuckles, finding it Actually Pretty Funny.
    • Doubles as Tearjerker when you realize that this is three months later - for Rhodey to remember that flippant, throwaway comment, how many times must he have replayed that conversation in his head, wishing he'd gone with Tony?
    Rhodes: Next time you ride with me, okay?
  • During Tony's escape from the Afghanistan caves, he gets his gauntlet jammed in a rock face when trying to take out a soldier. Another one sees an opportunity for a Boom, Headshot. He walks right up beside Tony for point blank aiming and... the bullet ricochets off Tony's helmet, and back into the gunman's head.
    • And Tony turns around as if to say 'What was that? A twig?'
    • Just before the escape some of the guards demand to know what Tony and Yinsen are doing. Despite the tense situation, or perhaps because of it, this exchange stands out.
    Tony: [hears the guards yelling] Say something!
    Yinsen: He's speaking Hungarian. I don't know Hungarian!
    • And the best is that not only the guard is actually yelling in (grammatically incorrect) Hungarian but in the movie's Hungarian dub, the guard is speaking Polish instead!
    • One part in his escape, the terrorists barricade the door leaving one of their men behind. Said man is screaming and knocking and begging to be let out as Tony advances on him slowly.
  • Pepper talking with the reporter who Tony slept with and subsequently dumped.
    Christine Everheart: Even after all this time, Tony still has you picking up the dry-cleaning.
    Pepper Potts: I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires... including occasionally taking out the trash. Will that be all?
    • Also this scene:
      Pepper: I actually don't think that you could tie your shoes without me.
      Tony: I'd make it a week.
      Pepper: Oh really? What's your social security number?
      Tony: ... Five.
  • As Tony enters the first press conference, Obadiah Stane asks him if he has another cheeseburger, since he wanted it to look like he was glad Tony was back, just for the camera's sake. Even funnier, Tony says it's his last one, then pulls another out of his suit pocket and starts munching.
  • "Okay, let's start things off nice and easy, see if 10 percent thrust capacity achieves lift. In three... two... one..." *WHAM!*
    • Then there's the bit just after that where he's designing the stabilizers.
      Pepper: I thought you said you were done making weapons.
      Tony: It isn't. This is a flight stabilizer. It's completely harmless..
      [The stabilizer shoots a blast of energy that knocks him onto his back]
      Tony: I didn't expect that.
  • Tony in the Mark II suit turning off the repulsors, then falling through the roof, piano, and one of his cars. Cue one of the workshop robots spraying him with fire extinguisher.
    • He chews out Dum-E:
      Tony Stark: If you douse me again and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college.
  • The great unsung comedy moment of the movie, due entirely to Robert Downey, Jr.'s brilliant deadpan delivery:
    Party Girl: Hey, Tony, remember me?
    Tony: Sure don't.
    • The best part is that he doesn't even stop walking or turn to look at her as he says it.
  • When Tony shows up at the party and he thinks he sees Hugh Hefner and pats him on the back, only for "Hef" to turn around and be Stan Lee.
  • Tony's reaction to Pepper seeing him being peeled out of the Mark III armor.
    • And when Pepper walks in and asks, all of the machines who've been helping Tony in peeled out the armor abruptly stops moving as if saying "Oh shit, we've been found out!"
    • Better yet, the dialogue between Tony and JARVIS while they're trying (off-screen) to remove the former's suit.
      JARVIS: Well, it is a tight fit, sir...
      Tony: Ow!
      JARVIS: Sir, the more you struggle, the more this is going to hurt.
      Tony: Be gentle, this is my first time.
  • Two words: "Icing problem?"
    • "Might wanna look into it." *clonk*
  • A brief moment during the final fight scene. Tony's just started getting out of his suit, thinking that he's won and he can take it off, when Stane appears behind him. He turns and lifts his hand to deliver a repulsor blast... only to find that he's already taken the armored glove off of it and his hand is bare. He actually turns his palm to stare incredulously at it for a second before getting slammed in the face.
  • "TONY STARK WAS ABLE TO BUILD THIS IN A CAVE! WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!" "Well I'm sorry... but I'm not Tony Stark."
    Youtuber #1: His tie jumped when he started yelling.
    Youtuber #2: The tie was in his way and paid the price.
  • The little exchange between Coulson and Pepper while they infiltrate Sector 16.
    Pepper: Oh, what is that, some kind of device to pick the lock?
    Coulson: You might want to step back...
    • Pepper then turns around and covers her ears in expectation of a huge bang, only for the lock to blow in a small "poof."
    • Also before that, when he took the device from his teammates, Coulson does it without even looking at said teammate or any other guys there as if to show they're already used to doing this. After that, Coulson and other agents turn their back from the door while waiting for the device to "explode". During that time, their expressions are just like... they usually are.
  • A dying Tony has just failed to grab the prototype Arc Reactor that Pepper saved and had monogrammed, and is lying there, beaten... until Dummy casually lowers it into frame. Doubles as a CMOH.
    Tony: Good boy...
  • The scene where Pepper swaps out Tony's Arc Reactor for the upgraded model. Particularly this line:
    Tony: Oh, it's nothing. I'm just going into cardiac arrest because you yanked it out like a trout-
    Pepper: What!? I thought you said it was safe!
  • Towards the climax of the film, Tony rushes to where Pepper is in his armor, since Obadiah is there and is about to start wreaking havoc. Rhodey, left behind, looks at a spare armor for an instant and considers taking it into battle himself.
    Rhodey: Next time, baby.
    • This is made especially funny by the fact that during the next film, he does get the chance to control an armor.
    • And at the same time, "Funny Aneurysm" Moment for Terrence Howard.
  • Tony Stark suggests excusing the collision between the Iron Man suit and an aircraft as a training exercise.
    Tony: Training exercise. Isn't that the usual B.S.?
    Rhodey: It's not that simple. [Gilligan Cut] An unfortunate training exercise involving an F-22 Raptor occurred yesterday. I am pleased to report that the pilot was not injured...