- This conversation:
Chance: I'll give him the old puppy-eyed look. (whimpering)
Chef: Sorry fella, it's not for dogs. (some meatballs fall off the table)
Chance: Flying meat! (eating the meatballs) Ahh! Hot! Hot!
- "He bit me with his butt!!!!!"
- Chance sniffing the fat chef's butt (including closeup).
"Must be someone new. I never forget a face."
- Chance chasing chickens:
Chance: Hallelujah, I've died and gone to Kentucky!
Chance: Hey, which one of you are regular and which ones are extra crispy?
- He also chases a goose into a corner.
Chance: Hey hey, come on, I'm not gonna hurt you I just wanna chew on your neck.
- He later gets chased off by a turkey, unsure of what it is.
Chance: Whoa! What the?! (Runs away) Help! It's Birdzilla! I swear I'll never eat a McNugget again!
- While sleeping in the forest.
(wings flapping, Chance raises his head)
Shadow: (annoyed) Now what?
Chance: (voice shaking) There's something out there.
Sassy: (trying to scare Chance) Ooooooooooooohhhh!
Shadow: Enough, Sassy! Now sleep!
- At one point in the movie, the dog playing Chance charges face-first into a sapling at full throttle and then just keeps on running. This event was clearly accidental, but the sheer spontaneity and reality of it is what makes it so hilarious; it wouldn't have been nearly as funny if it had been planned in advance with a CG dog.
- And this gem:
Chance: Hey! Remember hot dogs?
Shadow: Yeah. Never much cared for the name though...
Chance: Well, I don't think they're really made out of dog...
Shadow: I don't think they're made of meat.
- While trying to escape a cougar:
Chance: I'm such a wimp! I'm running from a cat!
Shadow: I won't tell if you won't!
Chance: 'Course, this is no ordinary housecat. This is, like, Arnold Schwarzenkitty!
- This too:
Here, kitty kitty kitty kitty. Sassy: "Here kitty kitty kitty."
Not in your life, chubby. Guard:
Here kitty kittty. Here, kitty. SCAT!
Here, kitty kitty kitty. Sassy:
No, dummy dummy dummy dummy. Guard: [walking away]
Stupid cat! Sassy:
Hmmm! What a bozo.
- Chance's confession.
Chance: Okay, okay, I'll talk! I left a gift on the carpet. I let Sassy take the heat for when I unrolled the toilet paper all over the house. I stole underwear on three occasions! [the vet yanks a quill out of his face] Okay, okay, four, four!
- The entire 'fishing scene'
Chance: Woah, there's one! Oh, there's one! Woah, sit fish! Stay fish. Hey, Shadow, how'd you get one of those?
Chance:: Stay fish! Sassy, help me out here will you, I'm starving.
Sassy: (*taunting*) Say it first.
Chance:: Oh come on!
Chance: *Grudgingly* OK, cats rule and dogs drool!
Sassy: I can't hear you.
Chance: Cats rule and dogs drool, you happy!
- At the beginning as the Seaver's load the car and place the pets in the trunk.
: (as Peter closes the trunk door
) Watch your nose, Chance. Chance
: So, guys, where do you think they're takin' us? Sassy
: I dunno about us
, but I know where they're taking you! Chance
: Well, I know this much. It can't be anyplace bad, 'cause otherwise they would've given us those dumb tranquilizers. Bob
: Hey, Peter? Did you give 'em the tranquilizers? All pets
- This gem as Chance runs away after Riley's gang arrives.
Shadow: [about Chance] You know you miss him.
: Okay, fine! I miss his stupid jokes, and his stupid face, and his stupid... stupidness!
Shadow: Oh, Sassy, stop it.
- Also, after Chance and Bando (Delilah's wannabe boyfriend) argue over her:
Riley: Enough! Bando, knock it off!
Bando: (humbly) Sorry, Riley. I wasn't trying to start nothing. I'm done. I'm done. (under his breath) Stupid lost dog, trying to steal my woman. Homewrecker!
- Chance terrified of the shadows in the alley.
Chance: Uh guys, they're big, they're huge, they're coming to get me!
- Scenes with Pete:
Chance: You know there's a furry ugly thing growing out of your butt?
Chance: It's your tail, genius! (bites it)
Shadow: Sassy, can you get down?
Sassy: Not with old "pffff" face down here.
Pete: You're still there, kitty?
Sassy: Oh, duh!
- The animals are sitting in front of the plane:
Chance: I wasn't scared. I wasn't scared for one little... Bit.
- There was right after when they see the airport security chasing them and Sassy tells them to stay and get hit while she runs off.
- Later on, Sassy starts trying to warm up to a little boy with a cat and Chance decides to try it himself.
Lady: Beat it Moron. Go Away!
Chance: Meow. Meow.
Lady: GO AWAY!
Chance: Meow? Wait, wait, Meow! (lady closes door).
- And when Chance starts talking about how Dogs always know where they’re going.
Shadow: That bridge must be around here somewhere.
Sassy: I don't see why we can't just stop and ask for directions!
Chance: Oh, would you listen to her? Listen, Sassy, we're guys. We don't ask for directions, we don't need 'em. We know where we're goin' every step of the— (bumps into Ashcan) ...way.
Ashcan: Hey, punk! Watch it!
Chance: Woo, no offense, dude, but you need a bath.
- Later, Chance jumps into a hole while, again, talking about how he always knows what he's doing.
- Chance running from Delilah, initially thinking she's trying to hurt him.
Chance: This is crazy! What'd that dog eat for Breakfast, jet fuel?!
- The house fire scene while scary, has some funny moments as well. When Shadow and Sassy notice the flaming house and realize poor Tucker is inside, Shadow rushes to the rescue, ignoring Sassy's protests.
: The boy! He's inside! Sassy
: Oh, Shadow how awful. Shadow
: I'm goin' in! (rushes towards the flaming house
Shadow, NO! (Shadow climbs through the basement window
: See that? That fool Shadow's gonna get himself killed! Riley
: And for a human? Doesn't make any sense.
- As Sassy hesitantly follows Shadow into the burning house.
Sassy: I gotta help him. Oh, my.
Sledge: Now the cat's goin' in!
Riley: What's wrong with these pets?
Sassy: Sassy to the rescue! What am I doing?! (climbs through the basement window)
- As Sassy manages to rescue Tucker's kitten Tiger from the fire.
Sassy: Somebody please get this little pipsqueak outta my mouth. I'm singed, and I smell like an astray.
Tucker: Tiger! Thanks, kitty!
Sassy: "Thanks?" That's it?! No tuna? No milk? No catnip?!
- Delilah wants to show Chance her favorite part of the city.
Chance: Does it involve food? (runs into a trash can) Meant to do that!
- Finally, Chance gets Ashcan and Pete to chase him, and Ashcan gets on the seesaw, with Pete right behind him, which prevents it from going down. Ashcan has to point this out to Pete, and he gets off... for the seesaw to come up and hit him right under the chin.