Funny: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

  • After Neil Patrick Harris steals Harold's car.
    Kumar: Ah... yes. I think he did.
    (Beat)
  • Harold and Kumar get high and walk out the front door of their apartment:
    Harold: Hey, we forgot our phones, should we go get them?
    (Kumar looks back down the hall and sees they are literally thirty feet away from their room)
    Kumar:...Nah, we've come too far.
  • That random fast food worker. "LETS BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN!"
  • The following:
    Kumar: Dad come on I was just-
    Kumar's Dad: Daddy is not coming on anything!
  • Harold and Kumar's encounter with Leann. "So, are you boys gonna fuck me now, or what?"
    • "Shotgun anus!"
  • When they find the runaway cheetah and take time out of the night for the three of them to get stoned.
    Harold: Kumar, this is either a brilliant idea, or by far the stupidest thing we have ever tried.
  • More for the slapstick crowd, but when Kumar tries to invert Air Vent Escape to rescue Harold, then gets stuck. Then the vent collapses, Kumar smashes a table on the way down. That would be enough, but then he rolls over and smacks his face on a desk.
    Kumar: [holding his forehead] Oh, my ass...
  • Any of the scenes with Neil Patrick Harris.
    NPH: Yeah, I've been craving burgers too. Fur-burgers!
    "Hurry! I'm losing wood!"
    • Made even funnier by the fact that he's gay in real life.
  • Kumar's dream sequence where he imagines dating, having sex with, marrying, and domestically abusing a gigantic bag of marijuana.
  • Their scenes with Freakshow. "I heard everything you just said."
  • "Bullets! My only weakness! How did you know?"
  • When they discover the extreme sports punks' incredibly lame taste in music.
    Kumar: Those guys are fucking posers!
  • When they run into Neil Patrick Harris at White Castle, he reveals Harold's car is just outside, and says he'll buy them breakfast.
    Harold: Do you realize what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?!
    NPH: ... Yeah. It was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal. [under his breath] Prick.
    • After giving money for the burgers, NPH also gives $200 for Harold's car.
    Harold: What happened to my car?!
    NPH: I made some love stains in the back...
    (everybody stares at Neil in awkward silence)
    NPH: You'll see.
  • While running from Princeton University security, Harold and Kumar notice Cindy Kim's party isn't so lame after all, and they almost wish they'd stayed.
  • As Kumar buys weed from the Princeton University, which ends up costing $80.
    Kumar: What kind of a hippie are you?
    Hippie: What kind of hippie am I? Man, I'm a business hippie, I understand the concept of supply and demand.
  • Kumar tells Harold they should take the hang-glider to escape the cops, saying he used to hang-glide with his father. But just when they're about to hang-glide, Kumar tells him he hasn't really hang-glided before. After crash-landing, Harold strangles Kumar.
  • The lead extreme sports guy referring to one of the others as "Extreme Sports Guy #1"