Funny / Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

  • After Neil Patrick Harris steals Harold's car.
    Kumar: Ah... yes. I think he did.
  • Harold and Kumar get high and walk out the front door of their apartment:
    Harold: Hey, we forgot our phones, should we go get them?
    (Kumar looks back down the hall and sees they are literally thirty feet away from their room)
    Kumar:...Nah, we've come too far.
  • That random fast food worker. "LETS BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN!"
    • Made funnier when he pulls down a tray cart onto a fellow worker who yelps in pain but continues to service a customer.
  • The following:
    Kumar: Dad come on I was just-
    Kumar's Dad: Daddy is not coming on anything! I have put too much time and energy into you where you will go and fuck it all up!
  • Harold and Kumar's encounter with Leann. "So, are you boys gonna fuck me now, or what?"
    • "Shotgun anus!"
  • When they find the runaway cheetah and take time out of the night for the three of them to get stoned.
    Harold: Kumar, this is either a brilliant idea, or by far the stupidest thing we have ever tried.
  • More for the slapstick crowd, but when Kumar tries to invert Air Vent Escape to rescue Harold, then gets stuck. Then the vent collapses, Kumar smashes a table on the way down. That would be enough, but then he rolls over and smacks his face on a desk.
    Kumar: [holding his forehead] Oh, my ass...
  • Any of the scenes with Neil Patrick Harris.
    NPH: Yeah, I've been craving burgers too. Fur-burgers!
    "Hurry! I'm losing wood!"
    • Made even funnier by the fact that he's gay in real life.
  • Kumar's dream sequence where he imagines dating, having sex with, marrying, and domestically abusing a gigantic bag of marijuana.
  • Their scenes with Freakshow. "I heard everything you just said."
  • "Bullets! My only weakness! How did you know?"
  • When they discover the extreme sports punks' incredibly lame taste in music.
    Kumar: Those guys are fucking posers!
  • When they got to the gas station and find the extreme sports punks, one of them makes an odd squealing noise at them. Kumar promptly asks Harold if its' supposed to be a pterodactyl or something. Harold responds that he doesn't know.
  • When they run into Neil Patrick Harris at White Castle, he reveals Harold's car is just outside, and says he'll buy them breakfast.
    Harold: Do you realize what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?!
    NPH: ... Yeah. It was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal. [under his breath] Prick.
    • After giving money for the burgers, NPH also gives $200 for Harold's car.
    Harold: What happened to my car?!
    NPH: I made some love stains in the back...
    (everybody stares at Neil in awkward silence)
    NPH: You'll see.
  • While running from Princeton University security, Harold and Kumar notice Cindy Kim's party isn't so lame after all, and they almost wish they'd stayed.
  • As Kumar buys weed from the Princeton University, which ends up costing $80.
    Kumar: What kind of a hippie are you?
    Hippie: What kind of hippie am I? Man, I'm a business hippie, I understand the concept of supply and demand.
  • Kumar tells Harold they should take the hang-glider to escape the cops, saying he used to hang-glide with his father. But just when they're about to hang-glide, Kumar tells him he hasn't really hang-glided before. After crash-landing, Harold strangles Kumar.
  • The lead Extreme Sports Punk referring to one of the others as "Extreme Sports Punk #1"
  • Two words. Animal semen.
  • This line:
    Harold: What do you want me to say? I was under pressure.
    Kumar: (while passing Harold a joint) Dude, just say no.