Funny / Half Baked

  • Have you ever seen the back of a twenty dollar bill...on weeeeeeeeed?
  • Why don't we sell that stuff we smoked last night?
    You suggested that already!
    I did?
    (disconnected number tone) Marijuana affects the memory.
  • Marijuana's not a drug! I used to suck dick for coke! (I've seen him!) Did you ever suck some dick for marijuana?
  • (Thurgood) Where are we gonna find a Jamaican?
    (Brian - White Guy) I'll pretend I'm Jamaican.
    (Thurgood) You have smoked yo'self retarded.
  • Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out.
  • Hey Girl, you hungry?
    • Fuck you nigga!
      • Or in the TV version "Up Yours Honky!"
  • "The horse is a diabetic!"
  • "And hey! If I'm not back in ten minutes... call the police!" "If he ain't back in ten minutes, we callin' Domino's!"