Funny / Half Baked

  • Have you ever seen the back of a twenty dollar bill...on weeeeeeeeed?
  • Why don't we sell that stuff we smoked last night?
    You suggested that already!
    I did?
    (disconnected number tone) Marijuana affects the memory.
  • The opening Minor Kidroduction with the four main friends as kids doing weed for the first time.
  • Marijuana's not a drug! I used to suck dick for coke! (I've seen him!) Did you ever suck some dick for marijuana?
  • The guys flying around New York City complete with the epic background score (somewhat parodying Superman) as a visual metaphor of them getting high. The Stylistic Suck of the effects add to the humor.
    • Scarface's dog, Killer also does this when stoned.
  • Thurgood's date with Mary Jane and his attempt to manage his budget of only 8 dollars.
  • Thurgood and Mary Jane's lovemaking depicted as a picture slideshow.
    Thurgood: "I got some boo-ty, I got some boo-ty".
  • Brian in general. Jim Breuer gives a hilarious, spastic performance of a guy just completely stoned out of his mind at any given time.
  • Brian's theory of how Killer was murdered.
  • The completely random Guy on the Couch (Stephen Wright) and the fact that's his staying at the apartment is never really explained.
  • (Thurgood) Where are we gonna find a Jamaican?
    (Brian - White Guy) I'll pretend I'm Jamaican.
    (Thurgood) You have smoked yo'self retarded.
  • "Sir Smoka Lot" (Dave Chapelle in a duel role), especially when opening up to Thurgood about his not-so glamorous life.
  • Scarface quitting his job "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out".
    • The "cool person" is an elderly female customer who responds with a deadpan thumbs up.
    • Also when Brian quits his job telling everyone he's not gonna "freak out" and almost nobody cares.
  • The old granny doing weed: "...and it's good for arthritis too''.
  • Hey Girl, you hungry?
    • Fuck you nigga!
      • Or in the TV version "Up Yours Honky!"
  • Brian: Well you said you gave Mary Jane a "pearl necklace", how much did that cost man?
    Thurgood: You know obviously you missed the point of that story, Brian.
  • "The horse is a diabetic!"
  • "And hey! If I'm not back in ten minutes... call the police!" "If he ain't back in ten minutes, we callin' Domino's!"
  • Kenny: "I'm somebody's bitch" (saying it with feigned pride).
  • The cops in the van during the wiretap sting getting stoned from the residual refer smoke laughing at Thurgood's love letter to Mary Jane.
    "You're all the Mary Jane I'll ever need" (both laugh hysterically).
  • Jim Breuer said the only scene he was actually high during was the final confrontation with Sampson because he thought he had wrapped and was called back to the set for some last-minute shooting. Keep a close eye on Brian knowing this fact.