Funny / The Hairy Bird

• The St. Ambrose boys being fully sloshed and the dance turning into chaos.
  Boys: [drunkenly singing] You put your whole self in, you put your whole self out...
  [Boys hurl themselves to the floor in the center of the Hokey Pokey ring, bashing heads and guffawing. Abby holds Conrad back]
  Abby: Did your date go off with my date?
  Conrad: [sings] You put your whole date in! [He pitches Abby into the pile of boys in the center of the ring]

• The members of the D.A.R. arguing about the merger with St. Ambrose.
  Tweety: I'm not going to change the way I am just 'cause boys are around.
  Verena: Oh come off it, Tweety. I've seen you at school dances, it's like the Three Faces of Eve. You turn into this simpering fawning wretch, and the whole next week we have to put up with your suicide attempts because your date didn't like you!
  Tweety: Verena!
  Momo: [to Verena] Now you've done it. That was really uncalled for, *Vagina*.
  Tinka: Look, Von Stefan, I know you like this place the way it is, but wake up, it's not real life. Real life is boy-girl-boy-girl.
  Verena: No! Real life is boy *on top* of girl!
  Momo: Would you two stop it?
  Verena: [to Tinka] You should know that.
  [Tinka scoffs]
  Odie: Look, it looks like this is gonna happen whether we like it or not so we're just gonna have to adjust.
  Tinka: Yes, we're gonna have to adjust.
  Verena: Where would we be today if President Kennedy had said 'Oh well, we'll just have to adjust to living in the shadow of nuclear warheads on Cuba'.
  Momo: There ya go.
  Odie: They're just boys, Verena, not communists.
  Verena: I'm not gonna live in the shadow of the Hairy Bird!
  Tinka: Well that's your prob! You're afraid of boys!
  Verena: You'd be afraid of boys, too, except you've got nothing left to lose, Miss Tinka!
  Momo: Order! Order!
  Tinka: Prude!
  Verena: Tramp!
  Tweety: Truce! Quiet. Come on, have some ravioli.

• Miss McVane momentarily distracted while looking through the adult catalog that was found in Mr. Dewey's briefcase.
  Miss McVane: Can you really order this stuff?
  Miss Phipps: Miss McVane!
  Miss McVane: Oh look, this one has three speeds.

• The girls asking new student Odie nosy questions about her boyfriend Dennis.
  Tinka: Are you carrying Dennis' child?
  Verena: You can tell Tinka, she's had four pregnancy scares.
  Tinka: Four!
  Tweety: Was it beautiful, when he spent himself inside you?
  Odie: Do you actually expect me to answer these questions?
  Momo: But we're curious. We all have our hymens except Tinka.
  Verena: That's enough. Clearly she doesn't want to describe it. It's like hog-wrestling, isn't that right, Odious?
  Tinka: I don't even think she's done it with Dennis yet.

• Tinka and her date slow dancing.