Funny / Flash Gordon

The Filmation cartoon
  • Flash and Prince Thun have been enslaved, and are given food to eat.
    Flash: I'd rather starve than eat this.
    Thun: I'd rather keep up my strength.
    [Thun takes a bite and growls.]
    Thun: By the gods! I'd rather starve with you!
  • Flash defeating Ming with a brick. This happens three times across the whole series.

The 1980 movie
  • Early scenes with Zarkov and his assistant, Munson, who thinks the guy's crazy and tries to escape.
  • The Football fight scene where our hero takes on Ming's guards by playing quarterback. The whole sequence is a winner from Dale playing cheerleader to BRIAN BLESSED whacking random guards on the head with his staff while their backs are turned to Ming's priceless remark about Klytus' troops:
    Ming: Klytus! Are your men on the right pills? Maybe you should execute their trainer!
  • Dale's escape from Ming's chambers. The bit with the shoes, the unnecessary cartwheel - pure She-Fu.
  • Barin and Zarkov are blindfolded and chained up in a dungeon.
    Barin: (Beat) Tell me more about this "Houdini".
    • Made even funnier by "LONG LIVE FLASH!" being randomly burned into the wall behind them.
  • At Ming's wedding, ships fly two banners in the background. The first says "All creatures shall make merry". The second says "Under pain of death".
  • Then you have the wedding vows:
    Priest: Do you, Ming the Merciless, Ruler of the Universe, take this Earthling Dale Arden, to be your Empress of the Hour?
    Ming: Of the hour, yes.
    Priest: Do you promise to use her as you will?
    Ming: Certainly!
    Priest: Not to blast her into space? (this earns him a Death Glare from Ming) Uh, until such time as you grow weary of her.
    Ming: I do.
    Dale: I do not!
  • Long live Flash! You've saved your Earth. Have a nice day.
  • "Give me the REMOTE CONTROL!!!!!"
  • When Flash is about to perform a Dynamic Entry into Ming's throne room with a burning spaceship, we're treated to the sight of various folks running in terror, and Dale giving a Call Back to the football scene by shouting "Go Flash!" while fleeing for cover herself.

The DC limited series
  • Flash and Dale are eyeing the meat from a giant Mongo worm.
    Dale: The meat's green.
    Flash: Well, it's this or gravel.
    [Dale takes a chunk of the meat] "It smells like... (throws it away). Pass the gravel."

The 2007 series

  • Baylin sniffs a corpse's foot to get clues about the Monster of the Week.
    Flash: What's he got? Toe jam?
  • Zarkov in general is a major Butt Monkey.
    Flash: As long as we're trying for the impossible, let's find him a girlfriend.
  • Flash refusing to let Baylin out of his sight because "I don't want another incident like with Mr. Mailman." Baylin's response? "Nonmilitary personnel should not wear uniforms.
  • In the season finale, Dale escapes some FBI agents by driving Zarkov's RV to Mongo. Later, when Zarkov finds out about the agents finding his base, he worries that they'll "break into my lab, dismantle my Sentinel, get my RV..." In response to the last one, Dale assures Zarkov that the RV should be fine. A few lines later, Zarkov finally realizes he should ask why Dale's so certain about the RV being safe.
  • In one episode, Flash and Dale are both captured by an agent who proceeds to inject them with a truth serum to make them talk about Mongo. Cue the bemused agent watching as Flash and Dale take advantage of the situation to argue more about their relationship issues, complete with Dale blurting out that Flash is the best kisser she ever met and then demanding that he tell her which was the better kisser - herself or Aura. At one point, the agent tries to get them back on task with Flash telling him, "Make her stop asking me personal questions!"
  • After a return from a particularly rough trip to Mongo, Flash says that he wants a hot dog. When Baylin asks what that is, he says, "You know what? No one really knows."
  • Baylin discovers chocolate. She likes it. A lot. At one point, she is able to bribe someone on Mongo by giving him some to eat and then paying him off with a bag of chocolate eggs.