- Dances with Wolves: "I've just pissed in my pants. And there's nothing you can do about it!"
- Celeste kissing Steve as Bag teaches her how to in My Stepmother Is An Alien.
- "Love means never having to say you're sorry." "That's the dumbest thing I ever heard." from What's Up Doc?
- Don't forget the climactic chase scene.
- Or the court scene after that.
- The test for anyone whose seen Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood. Yell: "I WAS FOOLIN' Y'All. THOSE WAS JOKES!" If they crack up, you know they've seen it.
- In Being There, scenes like Louise the maid's diatribe about Chance the gardener's sudden rise in social status and Ben Rand misinterpreting his comment about "the room upstairs" are crowd pleasers, but arguably the show-stopper comes near the end: Chance (Peter Sellers) is watching the original The Thomas Crown Affair on TV, and has just reached its big kissing scene. As per his tendency to imitate what he sees on TV almost subconsciously, he immediately begins to imitate the actors' lip movements. Then Eve Rand (Shirley MacLaine), who desperately needs him, comes in; he grabs her and begins to furiously snog her, even turning themselves around to match the whirling camera in the film. (Bonus points for being a likely inspiration for a similar scene in E.T.!)
- Noises Off is full of these from beginning to end, most of them coming from the inestimable Carol Burnett, but one in particular stands out:
Mrs. Clackett: Sardines, I've forgotten the sardines—" (notices the plate next to her on the table) "No I haven't, I remembered the sardines. Well what a surprise! I guess I'll go into the kitchen and make meself some more sardines to celebrate.
- Also, "I thought you was in...Sardinia!"
- And "Am I in Spain? No I'm not in Spain, I'm in agony, that's where I am!"
- Then there's the entire middle third of the film, which follows the complex (and nearly wordless) mayhem going on backstage during a performance.
- Any time Andre Moreau as delegate to the National Assembly is challenged to or enters the Assembly late after winning a duel with a nobleman in Scaramouche.
- Quite a lot of the dialogue in U2's film Rattle and Hum qualifies, but the interviews before and after the film's version of Desire are absolutely priceless. "Well, it's a musical journey..."
- There's also the moment when Adam is giving a long and rambling speech about the artistic merits of their current album — but everyone else is watching Larry instead, who's sitting next to him and imitating all of the random hand gestures Adam is making throughout (before finally just pretending to wrap an imaginary present and tie it in an imaginary bow).
- The rooftop shoot-out in Shoot 'em Up, that ends with the letters of a large glowing sign being shot out by Mr. Smith to spell "Fuck You." Then an annoyed Hertz shoots out the last word of the sign to read "Fuck You Too." Priceless.
- Master and Commander: "The lesser of the two weevils".
- Bob Uecker's performance as sportscaster Harry Doyle is the single best reason to watch the Major League movies. A highlight comes from the second film:
Obviously Taylor's thinking...I don't know what the Hell he's thinking!
- Also: "Welcome back to Major League Baseball. Sort of."
- And from the first movie:
Doyle: The Indians had no runs on one hit...one hit? That's all we got, one God-damn hit?!
Color Guy: You can't say that on the radio!
Doyle:' Ah, nobody's listening!
- Jumanji: After being smashed up and torn apart in every way possible (and yet still working), Officer Carl Bentley's police car finally gets swallowed up by a Man-Eating Plant. His response? "FINE! TAKE IT!"
- In & Out: "Exploring your masculinity".
- Bowfinger has two, Eddie Murphy crossing a freeway and "Fake Purse Ninjas".
- Another one from Bowfinger was when the crew accidentally discover that Kit actually has plutonium.
- How about when they follow Kit through a carpark with Bowfinger's dog dressed in high heels?
- "THUNDERCATS ARE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
- The part where Juno talks about Paulie Bleaker's expression when they had sex.
- In "Guest House Paradiso", Richie repeatedly corrects the mispronunciation of his surname, Twat (it's pronounced "Thwait"), and when someone gets it right, he corrects them to "twat". The Crowning Moment of Funny comes later when the same character (Gina) talks to him again:
Gina: Excuse me, Mister Twat?
Richie: Actually it's c-nt.
- Parodying the scene in Spider-Man where Norman realises Peter is Spidey is this unexpected gem from Superhero Movie:
Lou Landers: (Norman Osbourne) We have to go.
Aunt Lucille: (Aunt May) Why?
Lou Landers: (Norman Osbourne) (A beat as he tries to think up an excuse) I just... shat my pants.
- Charlie's Angels had the funniest Shout-Out to the original series ever.
Alex Munday: Flip... your goddamn... hair.
- From Clean Slate, when Dana Carvey's character stumbles into the middle of a speech and is forced to improvise because the original speaker never showed, and because there's a thug on his trail, sitting in the audience waiting for him to finish. At one point, there's a map of Africa displayed on the screen behind him, and Carvey explains the map to the audience like this:
Pogue: Well, we started here." (He points to a dot, then moves to the next.) "Then we went here, here, down here, over here, here, here, and ended up here.
- While Caddyshack II is considered one of the worst sequels ever, the "Peter Blunt system" is genuinely funny.
Well, you certainly made it very clear how your legal system works Mr. Young. Now, I'd like to explain a little bit about the Peter Blunt system. You see, I don't go in for lawsuits and motions or any of the legal stuff. No, no, you see what happens is, uh, I find out where you live and then I come to your house, see? And I beat down your door with a fucking baseball bat! And, then I make a bonfire with the Chippendale, maybe roast that Golden Retriever, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, then eat it! And then I'm coming upstairs, junior, and I'm gonna grab you by your Brooks Bros. P.J.s, and then I'm gonna take your brand new BMW, and cram it up your tight ass! Do we have an understanding?
- The "penis cookie" scene in Death To Smoochy. Rainbow Randolph's freak out after Smoochy tries to pretend it's a rocketship is priceless:
Rainbow Randolph: What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick fuck! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! It's a PENIS! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough.
- Wet Hot American Summer. "I want you inside me! Oh, um, hey... from before..." is the first of many.
- From Mortal Kombat: Johnny Cage's textbook-perfect Groin Attack on Goro, followed shortly by...
Johnny Cage: Damn! That hurt!
- The Street Fighter scene from City Hunter - specially Jackie Chan's Chun Li cosplay
- Waiting when trainee Mitch finally gets to speak and slaps down the entire restaurant staff, before unleashing "The Goat"
- Life Is Beautiful: Guido 'translating' the concentration camp rules.
- Baseketball: You're excited? Just feel these nipples!
- "ROADKILL: Caught On Tape!"
- Remer staring up at a bird on a branch.
- Doomsday. The cancan dancers. In fact, that entire sequence, but the cancan was what tipped it over the edge.
- There was also the fact that the song playing was "Good Thing," by the Fine Young Cannibals. Guess what everyone snacks on five minutes later? Then the person-roasting contraption came with the little labeled settings "Rare," "Med," and "Krispy," and the leader, his strippers, and the cancan dancers are passing these little plastic plates to the crowd like it's a fucking school barbeque...
- There's a Bentley with the good guys in it. There's a bad guy on top of the car trying to get in. There's a bus blocking the road. The protagonist speeds up and goes straight through the bus. The bad guy's head gets cut off in the crash, and comes sailing still-screaming out of the subsequent explosion to crash into and splatter all over the goddamn camera.
- Two Words - exploding bunny.
- Roberto Benigni's Johnny Stecchino is basically one big laugh riot, but two moments in particular stand out. The first is Dante at the theater, taking all the bananas. The second is the whole sequence with the Cabinet Minister, which stumbles right through most of the movie's Running Gags and sets off a few Chekhovs Guns in the deal.
- The movies of Stephen Chow, regarded as the master of comedy in Hongkong cinema.
- Kung Fu Hustle: Stephen as the protagonist Sing stands up against the Beast, and as a result is beaten within an inch of his life, to the extent that his head is halfway into the floor - despite this, he manages one Last Act of Defiance and picks up a piece of rubble with one hand, giving the Beast a knock on the head with the bit of strength he has left.
- Earlier in the movie, Sing and his fat partner's attempt on the Landlady's life with throwing knives goes so horribly wrong it must be seen to be believed.
- "What, have you never seen an ice cream thief before?"
- Shaolin Soccer: "Why did you make yourself look like an alien?... Go back to Mars! Earth is very dangerous!"
- Also their replacement goalie's CMOA appearance is ruined when she walks into the goal post... of the other team.
- The opening of From Beijing with Love, a merciless spoof of 007 movie openings, culminating in a silhouette of Stephen shooting one of the writhing female forms several times.
- From the 2001 crime/action film Bandits-
Terry: (Suddenly wakes up) BEAVERS AND DUCKS!
- The little girl (who is actually Bruce Willis' daughter) burping.
- The scene where Kate hits Terry with her car, and accidentally hits him again with the car door when he tries to get up.
- Tampopo: The ramen-making training montage, and Tampopo fainting on seeing the pig's head.
- Slither, Brenda pregnant. She literally looks like a gigantic human beach ball. And then she explodes into a tsunami of slugs. Alternately, the Soundtrack Dissonance scene with "Every Woman In The World," finishing over the Mayor chowing down on an arm.
- Bill Pardy, upon first seeing the Grant-Monster: "Ho...ly...shit."
- From Thunderheart: "That's a rock, these are ray bans!".
- Pretty much the entirety of Idiocracy:
- Brawndo: It's got electrolytes!
- "Welcome to Costco, I love you."
- Down With Love: The er....suggestive Split Screen phone call between Ewan McGregor and Renee Zellwegger and the entire conversation about men's socks.
David Hyde Pierce: Let's be accurate. Make sure you've got it fully extended. Have it up the whole way.
Ewan McGregor: It stays up all the way all day long, man! That's the miracle I was telling you about: better living through chemistry! You've got...16 inches.
David Hyde Pierce: 16 inches! How long does a man's hose have to be?
Ewan McGregor: That's 32 inches of confidence in every step. Don't forget, I've got two of 'em!
- And Renee Zellwegger's character giving The Summation in about a minute at eighty miles an hour.
- And Ewan McGregor's facial expression after said Summation.
- The Incredible Hulk: Betty Ross getting angry at a NYC cab driver. With Bruce telling her that he knows how to calm down!
Betty: You just zip it!
- Split Second, the Rutger Hauer Scifi movie set into the far future of two thousand and eight, after witnessing the killer tear through a metal wall: "We need bigger guns!"
- In the film of Get Smart, Maxwell Smart infiltrates the enemy base and is confronted by the Big Bad's henchmen.
How do we know you're not CONTROL? Maxwell:
If I were CONTROL, you'd already be dead. Siegfried:
If you were CONTROL, you'd
already be dead. Maxwell:
Well, neither of us are dead, so obviously I'm not from CONTROL, am I?
.) Shtarker: That actually makes sense...
- It does; Let proposition A represent Max is CONTROL, B represent Siegfried is dead, and C represent Max is dead. The propositions A implies B, and A implies C, may be accepted as true; since neither B nor C are true, A cannot be true. The logic is sound, even if the assumptions aren't.
- The Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace scene with a deaf and mute bridegroom in Four Weddings and a Funeral. Made even funnier because the groom is the one who "translates" the sign language.
- While The Proposition isn't necessarily the happiest film in the world, Nick Cave still shows he has a sense of humour when Officer Dunn shoots his toes off, and Officer Stanley, asleep in a chair, jolts awake and runs to see what just happened...straight into a closed door.
- Starsky & Hutch: Will Ferrell as the prison inmate with the dragon fetish.
Alright guys, I'm not gonna lie to you. This is gonna get kinda weird... Two dragons.
- Short Circuit: Nearly everything Benjamin says is hilarious ("So instead of $11 million on the loose, we have $22 million." Ben: "And plus, we are needing gas money!"), but one line stands out:
Benjamin: Newton Crosby, you must make instantaneous appearance!
Crosby: *makes a piano-playing robot hand flip him off*
Benjamin: Is that a yes, or the number of your intelligence quotient?
- The scene where Johnny 5 dismantles that guy's car (in about 10 seconds), lays the pieces out in order, drops the manual and says "simple!"
- Hamlet 2 isn't the funniest film but the "Raped In The Face" song is worth listening to.
- Any movie by Todd Phillips must have The Dan Band. Who either shouts an F word during an otherwise clean song (Old School) or sings 50 Cent's "Candy Shop" (The Hangover). These are usually the funniest parts of those movies.
- The Firemen's Choir in Bud Spencer's movie Watch Out, We're Mad. Seriously, if there is an antonym to Crowning Music of Awesome, that song is. Alas, Poor Assassin...
- Also the following scene, with the violin.
- Death At A Funeral. The entire movie is one big one, all the scenes with Alan Tudyk or Peter Dinklage have them, but the biggest one has neither of them, right before Credits Roll.
Uncle Alfie: Why is everything so FUCKING GREEN?
- Another good one is when Martha first finds out that Simon is stoned. Funniest background ever. Also, when Peter is found to be alive, and the expression on Simon's face is the ultimate "I KNEW IT".
- The whole window cleaning platform scene from The First Wives Club, especially the part where Duarto has to divert Morty's attention from the window.
- The Devil's Brigade, for a war film, has a bunch of them during the unit's first combat mission. With nary a shot being fired and minimal casualties (on all sides), the sequence includes two truly funny bits.
- A German officer commanding a small detachment and having two of the soldiers at a time peeling off to stand guard...only for each pair to be taken down in turn by the Canadians and Americans, the last pair as he's still walking. He turns around to issue his final orders and has a completely stunned expression as all of them have simply disappeared.
- Throughout the entire sequence, they cut to scenes of the garrison's commanding officer getting out of bed, having a bath, dressing, eating a civilized breakfast. And then he goes out on the balcony and sees his entire force neatly assembled (some half naked, having been captured in the shower) as prisoners and the Allied captors with the biggest shit-eating grins imaginable.
- Arsenic and Old Lace: Jonathan has Mortimer tied up and gagged and is about to torture him to death when Dr Einstein finds the poisoned wine and suggests a toast. Just as he and Jonathan are about to drink, Teddy blows a loud bugle signal outside, making them both jump and drop their glasses... and Mortimer goes right back to looking terrified.
- THIS FUCKING FRIED RICE STINKS!!
- In Date Night: Phil and Claire pole dancing. Just...Phil and Claire pole dancing!
- "Would you like to recieve a collect call from-"oh god this phone smells like urine!!""
- The rowboat.
- In the outtakes at the end "I have to go home now and look at my vagina with a hand mirror."
- "I have to go home now and fart in a shoebox."
- Phil and Clair pretending to be hipsters.
- "Zip your vagina!"
- Charlie Bartlett audtions for a school play:
- From Igor, after Igor creates life:
Blind orphans? She's evil
! Which is good
, but—blind, orphans
- Most considered Renée Zellwegger's Oscar for Cold Mountain a Consolation Award, but her performance has its hilarious moments: (highlights: decapitating an annoying rooster with her bare hands and "So, you have never wrapped your legs around this Inman?").
- From Porky's: "A police line-up... So that can you can identify his tallywhacker? Can we please call it a tallywhacker? "Penis" is just so... Personal!"
- Hamburger the Motion picture: when the class is running the restaraunt and the little girl tries to steal the cookies, prompting every on of them to instruct her, so politely, to return them at once.
- Stir Crazy: "We bad!"
- Titanic 2 - an elevator full of passengers is about to descend to the lifeboats. Another passenger runs up and tries to force his way in... and is promptly punched out by a steward. Especially given the rest of the film, it was hilarious.
- "AAAAAAAHHHHH!!" thonk, flipflipflipflip, splash. (Immortalized by Billy Crystal, in his hilarious song-and-dance Oscar routine, as "Propeller Guy".)
- Tombstone: The Cowboys watching a juggler perform. "Professor Gillman? I seen him before in Bisbee, he catches shit!" "Hey professor, catch this!" (Shoots one of the clubs out of his hand)
- In Empire of the Sun, Basie says he'll "bet his life", indicating his copy of "Life" magazine.
- Why is Adam Sandler planning an English remake for a Swedish movie like Kopps? Probably because of one of the single funniest scenes of the whole movie history (the dialogue is dubbed in Italian, but don't care, it's just your usual bunch of robbery lines). Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome that mixes Rule of Cool with Rule of Funny.
- The film of Bye Bye Birdie has Albert sneaking his speed pill to a conductor who then conducts Tchaikovsky's "Sleeping Beauty" at a very fast speed...the poor ballet dancers!
- Paul Lynde pretty much steals every scene he's in!
- True Lies, being an example of an action comedy done right, has lots of very funny moments, and is probably the best showcase of Arnold Schwarzenegger's comic timing. There is the magnificent Mood Whiplash of Aziz making an angry threat video when the camcorder runs out of battery, the absurdity of a horse-and-motorcycle chase, Helen's Accidental Aiming Skills, Aziz getting a Groin Attack by way of the Harrier jump jet's tail, the "THE BRIHZZ IZZ OOOOOUUT" sequence, Harry and Gibbs threatening threatening Simon, and almost everything Gibbs says.
- Also worth a mention, and a Crowning Moment of Awesome: Harry gets captured and is facing some Cold-Blooded Torture while under the effects of an apparent truth serum. While sounding like he's on a novocaine high, he proceeds to tell in exacting detail how he is going to kill everyone in the room, including the torturer. Bemused, the torturer asks him how he is going to do that while restrained. Harry then shows that he already broke free of them and proceeds to do exactly what he said he would do.
- The Party. Peter Sellers. Trumpet playing. That's all.
- He discovers the PA system with the oscilloscope. Birdie num-num. Howwwwdy partanar!
- In Chinese Ghost Story 3, the hero, a young monk, had his golden buddha stolen from him. Seeing him running after the thief, the customers of an inn give him a hand and stop the guy. Leading to this:
Customer 1: Tell us, monk, what did this man do to you?
Monk: He's stolen my golden buddha!
All the customers: GOLDEN?!?
Monk: Er, non, just a plain, regular buddha... (Cue the customers trying to keep the buddha for themselves)
- The Tall Blond Man With One Black Shoe - he's a violinist in an orchestra, he's in an affair with the harpist, who is married to his friend the tympanist - suspicions form, they're all on pins and needles at a concert playing Mozart's 40th Symphony, missing their cues, playing the wrong tune, and driving the conductor mad.
- The plot of the movie has him marked as a decoy agent by an intelligence head to get his in-house rivals to expose themselves pursuing him. At the airport he's being surreptitiously photographed by several agents while he has a big piece of chewy candy in his mouth - every picture they take of him has his face contorted as the candy sticks in his teeth.
- How Toy Story 3 Should Have Ended — where to start? The mock Randy Newman song? The subtle sex joke with Woody's "you did everything with her?" comment, or even the entire "play" scene with Bonnie and Andy? All are hilarious, but the clincher has to be...well, watch for yourself.
- Jack Nicholson (as Darryl Van Horne) gets an epic and hilarious rant in The Witches of Eastwick.
- A Hard Days Night - Grandad is hiding out in the tv studio basement forging autographs. When he hears the manager looking for him, he gets up and accidentally starts the elevator platform he's on - and rises up to a stage into the middle of a romantic opera duet.
- Starballz is an odd film... but it does have the line: "When I fuck a garbage can, I gotta fuck it in the ass." Delivered seriously.
- The Stupids - When Stanley Stupid unwittingly ends up on a talk show and the topic is about unusual families, he breaks out into "I'm My Own Grandpa", which is a classically funny song in itself, and it gets even funnier when almost EVERYBODY on the set starts bobbing their heads (and soon their arms) to the song, complete with priceless facial expressions from the hostess and Buster, an extra sung line from the hostess, and Stanley topping it all off by inviting the audience to join in.