Funny / Ennui GO!

WARNING: Spoilers will be unmarked.

It'd be easy to say the whole comic, but that wouldn't be fair. So, here's some little nuggets of hilarity from Ennui GO!

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• The first of many appearances of Smuckles and his extra butthole.
  Smuckles: buttholes...
  • If opinions are like buttholes, then how many buttholes does Smuckles have? According to him, he has many.
  • Two words: Vegan Band.
  • Smuckles' call for help are answered by Moonlight Woman! A call she'll soon regret ever answering.
• Len's first appearance. THE HYPERCRISIS IS REAL!
• Tanya meets Darcy for the first time. As she'll see, Darcy IS.... good at intimidation...and flirting.
  Tanya: P-please don't bother Izzy, she's having a depressive episode today.
  Darcy: I don't care. She has a great deal of work to do today and I can't wait around for her weird brain to feel like doing it.
  Tanya: But she's depressed! She can't help it...
  Darcy: Similarly, I can't help but want to forcibly remove you from my path. And yet, here we are, still talking. What wonders human determination is capable of.
  Tanya: I-Izzy needs to rest...
  Darcy: What she NEEDS is me. I like you, girl. You're cute and you look after Izzy. But I own most of her company. I am the tiger-force at the core of her operations. When you cry out in your wet dreams, it is Darcy that you see.
  Tanya: I think I peed a little...
• The "Stranded in the Pleasure Archipelago" arc has some gems like:
  • The pilot going through a gradual Sanity Slippage over the gang handling the whole ordeal better than he is. Not helped by the fact that they constant disregard him when he tries explain the potential problems of being stranded on a deserted island.
  • Darcy and Tanya take a little walk, where Darcy again proves to be a master at flirting...
    Tanya: So, I want to talk to you about Izzy...
    Darcy: Oh my God you cannot possibly be doing this right now.
    Tanya: Listen, I know you two have a history, but she's really special to me and I'd appreciate it if you didn't hang around her all the time.
    Darcy: You think I am your competition? You could not be more wrong. There are none who can compete with Darcy. I will pursue whomever I wish. I will date Izzy, and YOU as well. All is one in Darcy. When I stare into your eyes I will invade your dreams and break your heart. Nothing like Darcy has ever come among you, and nothing will again. I will take you to a night without exit or end and there I will murder your pussy. I will make you crawl and beg. And swoon! Swoon! Swoon for Darcy!
    Tanya: *blushing hard* Oh god why is this happening again?!
  • "Waiting"
    Narration: One Month Later
    * By now, Izzy's hair has grown and her pink dye has faded away to her original blonde, Noah's grown a full grown beard and Hashim's skin has tanned considerably. Their clothes have also completely tattered.*
    Hashim: Aaaaaany day now!
    Izzy: Stop saying that!
• The entirety of "The Gauntlet" arc in Vol. 2. Starting from here. Here are some highlights:
  • Espinosa and Adelie entering the Nude Room and meeting Darcy and Tanya in the middle of their..."funtime". Punctuated by Darcy slapping Espinosa's ass.
  • Hashim makes a flambe.
  • Espinosa meets Len. Later on, she meets Renee....who also slaps her ass and then does it again with a swatter.
  • Max's school is having a fundraiser and wants Espinosa to buy crabs from him.
  • The reveal that Adelie, who had been acting as a tour guide for Espinosa was actually Izzy. Apparently, this wasn't the first time she pretended to be her sister to have sex with someone.
  • So, what happens when Espinosa finally hands Izzy that summons?
    Izzy: What summons? ''*she asks as she tears the summons in half.*
  • The epilogue.
    Espinosa: I quit.
• Darcy IS. ...a cosplayer?!
  • A fan wonders if Darcy would like to take a photo with him...and if he can carry her. She obliges. He'll soon regret that.
  • Darcy makes a video tutorial about cosplaying...or at least she tries to.
  • Darcy SMASHES another board vote.
  • Darcy (and her chichis) always has things planned...
• BEEP! BEEP! Ride on The Magic Fuck Truck!
• Izzy: Waaaaait a minute...You're gonna start a cult, aren't you? Len: What? Nooo, of course not.
  • LEN STARTS A CULT.
    • Also, the comments section added this little gem: "*Temptation Sensation plays in the background*"
• Hashim and Noah do some impersonations:
  Hashim (imitating Darcy): SOON Izzy, your crotch will surrender to the UNYIELDING MIGHT OF DARCY!
  Noah (also imitating Darcy): SILENCE, FOOL! Or the sanctity of your ass will be FORFEIT this day!
  Izzy: Guys, she's gonna fucking kill you.
  Darcy: No, no, that's quite good actually. There may be hope for you two yet.
• "Are you tired of eating creamed corn with your hands? Don't you wish there was a another way? Well now there IS! With the Corn-Dogger!"
  Izzy: Tanya! We should-
  Tanya: No.
• Cricket: I hear that we got a substitute for home ec. Max: What idiot would volunteer for that?
  *door is kicked open*
  Darcy: Hello children.
  Max: Oh hell this ain't gonna be good.
• Hashim and Sarah decide to do a little "Extreme Sex." Of course, Sarah ends up learning that her and Hashim have totally different ideas of what that means.
  • To wit: a naked Hashim rides on a skateboard while carrying an equally naked Sarah (who also is....well..."inside him"), does an aerial on a ramp, goes flying and then dunks Sarah through a net like a basketball. All the while she's carrying a blank expression on her face, as if to say "well, this is happening."
    Hashim: SLAM DUNK!
    Sarah: *as she is inside the net* It's really my fault for not expecting something like this.
• Sarah holds a magic show. It goes about as well as you think it does.
• Vol. 4 ends with Captain Orca, after being saved by his nemesis, the Jellyfish Girl, letting go of his vendetta and leaving Key Manati with his crew. Seems like a peaceful end for him even after all the stuff he pulled throughout Vols. 3 and 4? Well....
  Darcy: *off-panel* "Ahoy", "Captain"! *climbing into the boat, wearing a swimsuit, googles and snorker, sporting a Slasher Smile* Darcy believes our rematch got interrupted. And it looks like this time, you've got no harpoon.
  Captain Orca: *as Darcy races toward him, knocking away Flamingo Joe and grabbing Ally by the throat single-handed* Oh blast me barnacles, this won't be good.
  • Of course, as "Cannon Maintenance" revealed, Darcy did leave Orca and his crew alone....but she still beat the crap out of him.
    Captain Orca: Y'know I still coulda used some BACKUP when she boarded.
    Ally: Hey, when she choked me out, I went down and stayed down. 'Sides, I ain't the one who stabbed her with a fuckin' HARPOON.
• Hashim wants Xoltan to do some speed dating. At first, none of the dates he's on seems to be going well. Then he meets Sybil...
  Sybil: I work retail jobs where I habitually underperform. I like to push the envelope to see how unhelpful I can be before I get fired.
  Xoltan: Wow. You make the world so much worse, so casually!
  Sybil: What do you do?
  Xoltan: I like to switch the "push" and "pull" signs on doors.
  Narration: Just right *Xoltan and Sybil are making out, knocking off the table they were sitting in.*
• Ever wondered about the science of social media? Well...wonder no more!
  *We are in a laboratory as Len, Tanya and Axil watch through a giant glass window a bunch of screeching chimpanzees thrashing around and throwing their excrement everywhere.*
  Len: Behold, where the science of social media is studied. These chimps are forced to scroll through Twitter for ten hours a day. They become violently insane.
  Axil: TOLD YOU!
  Random Scientist: Are you an alien?!
  Axil: ABSOLUTELY NOT!
  Random Scientist: Oh, okay.
  Tanya: Why would anyone do this?
  Axil: THE ABSTRACT FOR THEIR RESEARCH SAYS IT IS "FOR THE LOLS".
• The "Blood on the Sand" mini-arc in Vol. 3, where Izzy hosts a "family fun fest" on Key Manati, also has great moments of comedy, as well as a brilliant showcase of underhanded-ness from the characters involved:
  • "Three-Legged Race" has Flamingo Joe go solo on the event, counting his cane as his third leg. At first, he seems to be winning, until Vanitas steals his cane. And Captain Orca volunteers to be his partner.
  • Addy and Bella take advantage of the fact that they have the house to themselves in "Time Off".... only for Max to come back home to get something.
    Max: There you are. Wait... You two look guilty.
    Adelie: *a sweating Adelie is fully, but messily dressed while Bella has covered herself below with the bedsheets* (nervously) Do we?
    Max: Were you eating my gushers?
    Adelie: ... yes.
  • "Pie-Eating" has Renee decide to dish some payback against Sarah for constantly pelting her with pies, by pouring hot sauce on one during the pie eating contest. However....
    Renee: *shocked* B-but... how?! I poured a whole bottle of hot sauce on those.
    Sarah: *smugly* Oh honey... I eat Hashim's cooking every day. You were beaten before you even opened the bottle.
    • And Hiro was made the referee.
  • "Tug-of-War": When one of Canyon's wrestling associates wonders who greased the rope...
    Jerry: Pathetic. You cling to your little mound of dirt insisting it's your kingdom. But you are a MINNOW struggling against the current of a VAST OCEAN! Yes, T'WAS I THAT GREASED THE ROPE! You think greasiness is your ally. But you merely adopted the grease. I was BORN in it, MOULDED by it!
  • Doctor Bald creates a raygun that can easily creates "Sand Castles" and believes that no one can break his "mighty grip."
    Calixta comes and slaps the gun off his hand, causing the castle he made to collapse. Vanitas shows up to stomp on it.
    Doctor Bald: CURSES! WHO COULD HAVE FORSEEN THIS?! ^note Frankie mentioned earlier that someone would slap it off his hands. She was right
  • Renee and Len have been fighting over who gets to be "exclusive" with Noah, so when they end up being partners in the "Wheelbarrow" race, their arguing naturally devolves into a Cat Fight.
    Tanya: Should... should we break this up?
    Izzy: *clearly turned on* No, no. I wanna see where this goes.
    • Darcy IS.... also watching the fight with similar interest.
  • How do Captain Orca and his crew end up losing the "Sack Race"? By intentionally bumping into Officer Espinosa, then getting charged with assaulting an police officer and being sent to jail.
  • When Max and his gang end being "The Winning Team", what kind of big, important, mind-blowing wish do they think of? Fidget spinners.
• Of all Izzy's wives, why is Darcy pregnant? Because Izzy tripped and put the applicator in the wrong person.
  Darcy: TELL THE BOY WHERE IT WENT, TANYA.
  Max: Welp, that's my cue to leave.
• Darcy created a new game, and wants Max's opinion of it.
  Darcy: You are the target audience. What do you think?
  Max: If I tell you, you're gonna dislocate my shoulder again.
  Darcy: Perhaps not. But take a few steps back just in case.
• In "The Zeroth Lesson of Len", Len's first action is to blindfold Max, take him to a bridge and then push him into the water below. That sounds bad, but in the aftermath, "Symbolic", Len gives him an understandable (at least to her) reason for that.
  Len: Clawing your way out of the ocean and onto land was a symbolic birth. And the first person you saw? Me with my titties out. And the first thing I did? Fed you. You can't hit me. You see me as a mother figure now. I've lowjacked your Jungian archetypes!
  (Max attempts to say something, but just gives up and continues eating his burger)
• As Max first lesson beings, Len also learns that puns can be unavoidable....
  Len: Now... Let us begin Len's First Lenson. I mean lesson. Damnit.
• As Max continues plays matchmaker for Callie, he notices that Basil, the object of Callie's affection, isn't exactly knowledgeable about her feelings. Vanitas pops up and adds an....interesting observation:
  Max: I tried, but I couldn't get anything out of Basil directly. That boy is dense.
  Vanitas: Thiiiiicker than your aunt's deliciouuuus dumptruck aaaaaaaass!
  (Max gives Vanitas a Death Glare as the latter smiles proudly)
• In "Kiwi", Hashim and Sarah both discuss the insanity in how most of the girls in their group haven't gotten pregnant yet due to the constant unprotected sex they have. Sarah isn't looking forward to it, as since most of the women in her family are as short as her, she'd look like a kiwi bird. Sarah even fearfully imagines herself pregnant in a thought bubble.
  • And then, 344 pages later, Sarah is indeed pregnant. And almost looks exactly like she imagined herself looking like. She doesn't seem too bothered by it, tho.
  Max: Y'know I haven't seen your act since my tenth birthday party. You not doin' that today?
  Sarah: Nope, just face-painting. Can't exactly be swallowing swords with this big guy in me. Can't move much at all in fact! Hashim had to wheel me over here in the baby stroller.
• The reveal that Len is pregnant and that she was purposefully hiding it with magic is hilarious in itself, though what's more chuckle-worthy is the grandiose reasoning she attempts to deliver.
  Max: So you been pregnant this WHOLE time and hiding it with magic?
  Len: I have an image to maintain.
  Max: Your "image" is a possum drowned in a Hot Topic bathroom sink.
  Len: Thank you. But magic is the imposition of one's will upon the world. It REQUIRES an amount of vanity to believe such a thing is necessary.
  Noah: Don't let 'er fool you. She just likes people still thinkin' she's got fat tiddies but a slim waist.
• What happens when Max creates an Internet meme?
• The moms all have a discussion over what it was like giving birth. Adelie tells them it was rough, as Max was a "preemie." Not because of medical issues or anything; it was because he clawed his way out of her. Darcy, describing herself the "apex of womanhood", had no changes to her figure since giving birth to her twins.... tho now that she started nursing them, her large breasts are now gigantic (they even make a WHAM sound when they hit the table!). As for Sarah....
  Sarah: I thought giving birth was fun!
  (cut to Sarah giving birth)
  Doctor: The baby's almost out! C'mon, one more push!
  Sarah: Are...are you sure? Wha...what's that behind your ear?
  (Sarah's newborn is on top of the left side of the doctor's face)
• Max decides to give growing a mustache a shot. Despite the obvious apprehension of his friends, he thinks it looks good...until Skyler compliments it.
  Max: (pulling out a switchblade) Well THAT was fun while it lasted. Somebody shuck me. Not Vanitas.

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