Funny / Dead Space 3

• Remember the Hand Cannon from Dead Space 2? It's back... as the Devil Horns. It has infinite ammo and is basically a One-Hit KO on anything. But, reload it, and Isaac will headbang.
• Isaac trying to use his stasis module to slow down the automated freeway traffic, which looks like a typical simple stasis puzzle from the previous two games. Except that he only slows down ONE transport, causing the rest to crash in a massive pileup.
  Isaac: (after a moment of Stunned Silence at the wreckage) Oops.
  • Not helped by the fact that whether you're playing solo or co-op, using Stasis for this was Isaac's idea.
• Isaac and Carver's reaction to the Hunters, which mirrors the player's.
  Isaac: (after narrowly escaping several regenerating Necromorphs) God, I hate those things....
• Late in the game while in the research facility in cooperative, before you enter the generator room to return power to the sterilization gas to clear a bunch of infestation. Carver and Isaac get this little gem...
  Carver: Wait, you're not thinking we should mess with this sterilization system, are you?
  Isaac: (almost teasing tone) Mmmmaybe?
  Carver: Isaac, it's gas that eats your face!
  Isaac: Come on, what's the worst that can happen?
  Carver: It's gas that eats your face.
  • It's a bit funnier if you remember one of Isaac's quips from Dead Space 2. He really is full of bad ideas!
• After the crash on Tau Volantis, Isaac searches desperately for Ellie amongst the wreckage in a snowstorm. As he enters a relatively intact section, he suddenly spies a corpse on the floor. He panics, rushes over and digs at the snow and ice. He then rolls the corpse over and...it isn't Ellie. It's another crew member, with half of his head is blown off. Isaac's response?
  Isaac: Oh, thank God. (drops corpse back on the ground)
  • Better yet, the dead crewmember was Mark Rosen, who was a prick to Isaac just moments before. And after Isaac offered to help him, on top of that! No wonder he wasn't missed.
• Despite their generally nightmare inducing nature, one of the then-sentient feeders in an audio recording gets this bit of unexpected humor.
  Feeder: Ackerman, is that you?
  Ackerman: Oh, God...
  Feeder: I smell you... I smell... FRESH MEAT!
• Danik's disbelief that Isaac could still be alive is priceless thanks to the delivery. Instead of the usual anger, confusion, or frustration, he's very... affable about it.
  Danik: Isaac, is that you? You are unbelievably hard to kill, are you aware of that?
• Whenever Isaac meets Danik, Isaac always escapes.
  • It should be noted that every time Isaac meets, or is a bout to meet, Danik, that Danik always boasts that he will have Isaac killed.
• After reconstructing Rosetta, there's a large info-dump that's intended to be dramatic and clear up most of the lingering questions about Convergence and "Make Us Whole." Except the delivery is Isaac sitting on the floor, monologuing like he's on a drug trip. And when he's finished, Isaac stands up to see Danik and his goons are standing there holding Carver and Ellie at gunpoint, having just listened to the entire thing without saying a word.
• Near the end of the game:
  Carver: Congratulations, you just turned the city into a pretzel. What now?
• When Jacob Danik gets mad at Isaac for "tampering with things [he] knows nothing about." Isaac's response?
  Isaac: Right back at you, jackass.
• The Bot Personality Pack DLC for the Scavenger Bot turns your adorable bot into an incredibly snarky rover that has a complement of lines that occasionally goes toe-to-toe with HK-47's dark humor.
  Scavenger Bot: Ah, there you are. A gentleman was looking for you. His face was on backwards. And he had bone swords for hands. I sent him your way. I hope you don't mind. He seemed anxious to find you.
  Scavenger Bot: Nothing much to report, sir. I'll try looking over here. With any luck, it'll be more resources, and... fewer body parts.
  Scavenger Bot: What do you do with all of these resources? If you're building weapons to chop even more limbs off people. I'll have no part of it. That makes me an accomplice, we're simply not that close.
• Despite the much, much darker tone of the DLC, Isaac and Carver still manage to engage in some humorous dialogue
  Carver: Let's get looking, dead boy.
  Isaac: That's not funny.
  Carver: Yeah it is.
  • In Awakened, Isaac admits what people probably had figured out by 2.
    Isaac: I quit trying to make sense of it all back on the Ishimura.
  • Another line from Awakened, after Issac has essentially hotwired a two-hundred year old spaceship's shockwave system:
    Carver: Let's go, let's go!
    Issac: We may just blow up.
    Carver: We may just get saved by aliens again. Just hit the damn button.
• Most of the co-op banter between Isaac and Carver when they run into the giant drill. The end of that sequence has the crowning moment, though.

  Isaac: (catching his breath) Jesus... I thought that was it...
  Carver: (chuckles) Yeah... (chuckles again) Fuck this planet. C'mon.

  • Isaac has bad history with giant drills. It'd be shocking if this incident doesn't give him a serious aversion to them.
    Isaac: Ellie?! I'm trapped and the drill is trying to kill me!
  • This gem from the teaser's co-op gameplay:
    Isaac: (after he and Carver temporarily halt the drill's careening around them) Now what?
    Carver: You're the rocket scientist; you tell me!
    Isaac: (defensive) Hey, I work on ships, not giant drills! Just—look for an override!
    Carver: What the fuck is that?!
• Starting a New Game Plus means you get whatever weapon you were holding at the end of the game in place of the pistol Carver hands you. This can cause slightly ridiculous situations, like Carver tossing a civilian an assault rifle with an underslung grenade launcher, or complete absurdity, like Carver handing him a Ripper that sets everything it touches on fire.
  • Or the Devil Horns.
• In one of the optional (two-player-only) missions, you come across a child's banner for a birthday party. But instead of saying "Happy Birthday," it says, "Daddy Hates Me." The surrealism of the message (including its cutesy font) achieves a kind of Black Comedy.
• When your co-op partner drops equipment from their inventory and depending on how they're standing, the items can just... fall from between their legs. This can seem really strange/hilarious if they drop a whole load of medium health packs that are the same size as cereal boxes.
• In one of the S.C.A.F. logs found:
  Mahad: I want all of them! Every last bullet, private!
  Caufman: I'm sorry General Mahad, sir, but without the munitions key —
  Mahad: What's your name son?
  Caufman: Uh, Caufman, sir! P-Pri-Private Tim Caufman, sir!
  Mahad: Do you like potatoes, Tim?
  Caufman: Y-Yes, sir. I... I... I guess so, sir.
  Mahad: Good. Because if you don't find the goddamn key and have those munitions on a train by sundown, you'll be peeling goddamn potatoes for the rest of your goddamn miserable excuse for a military career!