- The best one in "The Deadly Attachment".
German Captain: Your name will also go on the list. What is it?Mainwaring: Don't tell him Pike!
- Unfortunately, due to the BBC repeating the clip at every possible occasion, this has actually stopped being funny to long-time fans. Which is a shame, because objectively it is a very funny line.
- Moments before, when the tense confrontation between Mainwaring and the U-boat Captain gets a bit... childish.
U-boat Captain: I am making notes, Captain. And your name will go on the list. And when we win the war, you will be brought to account.
Mainwaring: You can put whatever you like; you're not going to win this war.
U-boat Captain: Oh yes we are.
Mainwaring: Oh no you're not!
U-boat Captain: OH YES WE ARE!
- "And when we get back to Germany, you will be my prisoners. And then ... [smugly] we shall examine the list..."
- In the one where Mainwaring is marching the platoon along the watefront
Hodges: I wouldn't go too far that way Mr. Mainwaring there's a great big- (Mainwaring disapeares in a huge puddle)
- When actor James Beck was taken into hospital, Walker got a Written-In Absence, leaving a note in his place on patrol to explain that he has gone to conduct "business" in London. A Crowning Moment of Funny ensues as Mainwaring reads out Walker's cockney slang in perfectly deadpan tones.
- In the episode "Boots, Boots, Boots", a shoes clerk mistakes Wilson and Pike for father and son. Wilson denies it, whilst doing a face-rubbing sort of gesture, whilst behind him, Pike is (inadvertently) doing the exact same thing in synchronization!
- According to Word of God, they are!
- When on watch duty in the lighthouse Jones manages to accidentally set off the light. Back on shore Hodges has the biggest freak out in the series.
- In the first episode, Fraser tells Mainwaring that he works in a philatelists shop. Mainwaring asks him to spell that. Fraser replies, "S-H-O-P", which Mainwaring starts writing down before catching himself.
- The story of The Old Empty Barn.note
- In "Sons of the Sea", Frazer — the ex-sailor — starts sulking when Mainwaring takes charge of the rowboat and proceeds to childishly gloat when they end up getting lost. When Mainwaring compliments Walker's lively attempts to keep everyone's spirits up, it provokes Frazer to apologise, which in turn provokes this exchange:
Mainwaring: Thank you, Frazer. Perhaps now you'll tell us where the north is?
Frazer: I cannae do that, Captain.
Mainwaring: Why not?
Frazer: Because I don't bloody well know! You think I'd be sitting in this boat with you gang of Sassenachs if I knew the way?!