X Marks The Spot
is an educational short film from 1944, produced by the New Jersey Department Of Motor Vehicles, concerning the dangers of reckless and inconsiderate driving habits.
Meet Joe Doakes, the single worst driver in New Jersey. Quite possibly the worst driver in the entire world, to hear his guardian angel tell the tale. He speeds through school zones, makes turns from the wrong lane, zips into intersections without looking, and literally runs people off the road whilst passing. On hills. In the face of oncoming traffic. And, somehow, someway, it's always the other guy's fault
This being the type of film it is
, you just know Joe is heading for a bad end. In fact, Joe gets himself killed in an auto accident when his angel takes a breather
and must plead his case in traffic court in the afterlife
. The title itself refers to the actual spot where Joe dies
Not to be confused with the 1931/1942 films
about rubber racketeering, nor with the BBC
Radio 4 game show
from the late 90s.
For the Mystery Science Theater 3000
episode featuring this short film see here
This short film provides examples of:
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: The judge enlists the viewer to pass judgement upon poor Joe.
- Curse Cut Short / Last-Second Word Swap: See Moral Event Horizon, below.
- Drives Like Crazy: Joe, of course. Consider:
- Damned by Faint Praise: Joe meekly notes he never hit-and-run. Gee, Joe, you're a freakin' angel!
- Drunk Driver: Joe insists that he only drinks "a cocktail or two" on occasion, and is thoroughly berated by the judge for it.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: When behind the wheel, literally anything can (and will) set Joe off.
- Never My Fault: Joe's attitude when driving. Even if the light is against him, it's not his fault.
- Up to Eleven: Seriously, one would hope there's no way a person with Joe's driving record could possibly hold a drivers license for more than a month, let alone fifteen years. The film itself even lampshades this at one point.
- Forced To Listen: Joe's reaction to the "accident clock" in the heavenly courtroom is treated almost as an And I Must Scream moment.
- Fridge Horror: Joe mentions he is almost 36. The Judge says he wasn't expected to die for another 20 years. So he was supposed to die at 56? Even for the 1950s, that's awfully early.
- Ironic Purgatory: The judge concludes that the things Joe's guardian angel suffered on-duty repaid his debt for his own driving sins in life, and declares him a free ghost. "What a relief, what a relief..."
- Moral Event Horizon: Invoked; when Joe tells the judge that he never committed a hit-and-run, the unimpressed judge explains that if Joe had, he'd have been booked [Guardian Angel harrumphs] "...in a lower court".
- Pet the Dog: Joe is given a couple of these, just to prove he's not a complete lunatic. At least he learned to slow down near schools; and his guardian angel makes it clear that he's a nice enough guy outside of a car.
- Scare 'Em Straight: Not only the film as a whole, but also a couple of internal examples:
- At one point Joe tries to cross a street without waiting for traffic (he's no better a pedestrian than he is a driver) and takes a long stay in hospital.
- After nearly running over a child in a school zone, Joe learns to slow down. After all, Joe has kids too.
- Society Marches On: Joe pleads he still has a full book of A coupons (presumably for gas). Ah, World War II rationing...
- You Suck: The film ends with the Judge addressing the audience as the jury, asking them to think whether they themselves are good enough drivers to be qualified to sentence Joe. Of course, the answer is very likely "yes," making this fall rather flat.