An unpublished work by Albius Argentum.
It takes place shortly after the conclusion of a terrible war against elves, when the prince of Britlaeond goes mysteriously missing. A Carpenter is walking along the beach, when he comes across a despondent walrus, who turns out to be the missing prince, kidnapped and transformed by a group of terrorist elves. The Prince and Carpenter immediately decide to go on a quest to regain the prince's humanity, and are joined by a Young Wiseman, a Sea Prince, the Son of Another Carpenter and the Carpenter's shadow, brought to life by a Tome of Eldritch Lore.
Even though she is not done with the original, she has already started writing a sequel starring the Carpenter's grandson.
This story provides examples of:
- Anachronism Stew: The Carpenter has a camera phone because he can travel to Alternate Universes.
- Back from the Dead: The Son of Another Carpenter,
exactly seventy-two hours after his death. - Black Magic: The Carpenter prefers to screw around with this instead of "carpentering."
- Even the Guys Want Him: The Prince
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Everyone except for the Sea Prince, who's name is Salus Trigintaseptimus.
- Fantastic Racism: The Carpenter briefly talks about elves and their "filthy elven ways."
- Fantasy Counterpart Culture: Britlaeond
- Mind Screw: The Carpenter hits his head on the moon. Twice. Without leaving the ground.
- Schizo Tech: The Carpenter claims to have built a Clock Punk laser beam, and the predominant type of technology is Magitek Steampunk.
- Shadow Spouse: The Carpenter marries his shadow.
- Shout-Out: On their journey they meet a fisherman. His name is Pedro
.
- Unexplained Recovery: The Carpenter insists that the Son of Another Carpenter will recover from being turned into a unicorn. He does, strangely enough.
The sequel provides examples of:
- Fantastic Racism: Yes, again. This time against Taetroids.
- Generation Xerox: Geoff and William to the Carpenter and the Prince. Geoff isn't particularly happy about this and tries to refuse the call and Screw Destiny.
