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Michael
Michael
"Well, I've been on that merry-go-round long enough, and I either had to get off or die of centrifugal force."
- The Alcoholic: Trying to quit.
- Amicable Exes: More or less with Donald who acts as his Living Emotional Crutch (Though it's implied that Michael wishes they were still romantic but will settle for friendship) and some interpretations have him as this with Harold as well, explaining Harold's resentment of Donald.
- Character Development: Arguably at least. Depending on how his arc is interpreted.
- Deadpan Snarker: To a fault.
- The Eeyore: Revealed to be this beneath a thin façade.
- Friends with Benefits: Implied to be this with Donald. It's hinted he'd like them to just be an actual couple however.
- Heroic BSoD/Villainous BSoD: Has one or the other at the end, depending on whether you view him as the protagonist or the antagonist.
- Hypocrite: Michael takes offense at Alan calling Emory a "pansy", but during the phone game, Michael taunts Emory as a "flaming little sissy".
- In Vino Veritas: The reason Michael gives up alcohol, which becomes clear when he falls off the wagon during the party.
- It's All About Me: In some interpretations.
- Jerkass Realization: The play itself is this for him.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Gold is probably an exaggeration but he definitely has shades of this.
- My God, What Have I Done?: How he ends the play.
- Odd Friendship: With Alan. Why is Alan so insistent on talking to Michael of all people?
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Tries to give these, particularly when taunting Harold for his vanity and drug use. They almost always backfire. Receives his own from Harold later on.
Donald
Donald
"It's just that today, I finally realized I was raised to be a failure. I was groomed for it. Naturally, it all goes back to Evelyn and Walt."
- Amicable Exes: With Michael.
- Bookworm: Is an avid reader, going through several books each week.
- Deadpan Snarker: Can match Michael and Harold at their best (and worst).
- Donald (sarcastically raising a toast): To your health!Michael: Up yours!Donald: Up my health??
- Friends with Benefits: With Michael, at least by implication. They were explicitly sexually involved in the past and in the present Michael refers to Donald keeping a "douche" kit at his house for their "sleepovers".
- Living Emotional Crutch: Acts as this for Michael and is called out explicitly for it by Harold.
- Satellite Character: Probably has the least story and individuality of all the main characters. Really only serves to be Michael's support system and to create jealousy for Hank and Larry.
Hank
Hank
- Academic Athlete: Hank is a high school math teacher who played basketball in college. He's also shown shooting hoops in his first scene in the 1970 film.
- Ambiguously Bi: Hank left his wife to be with Larry. He says that his marriage wasn't entirely a sham and that he really did love his wife, but that there was always that "something else." Whether this means that he's a gay man who did love his wife romantically while having no real sexual attraction to her, or if he's bisexual with a strong preference for men is unclear from Hank's telling, but Michael at least implies the latter:Michael: Hank swings both ways, but with a decided preference.
- Anguished Declaration of Love: Shares one of these with Larry in the end while promising to try and overcome the problems in their relationship.
- Manly Gay: Just get him a beer already.
- Nice Guy: When he's not arguing with Larry over their relationship troubles, Hank is probably the most level-headed man at the party.
- Polyamory: Very reluctantly in an open relationship with Larry, he'd prefer to be monogamous.
- Straight Gay: Is held up as this for the audience.
Larry
Larry
"
- All Gays are Promiscuous: Played straight (pun not intended), much to Hank's chagrin.
- Anguished Declaration of Love: Shares one of these with Hank in the end while promising to try and overcome the problems in their relationship.
- Hypocrite: Claims he just wants an open relationship but gets very jealous of the seeming bond that occurs between Alan and Hank.
- Polyamory: In an open relationship with Hank. He says that Hank is the only one he loves however but this doesn't do that much to soothe Hank's misgivings at the arrangement.
- Suddenly Shouting: "IT'S FOR YOU HANK!!!"
Emory
Emory
"Hi, Bernadette. Anybody ever tell you you'd look divine in a hammock, surrounded by louvres and ceiling fans and lots and lots of lush tropical ferns?"
- Camp Gay: Many of the cast have elements of this but Emory is the most obvious.
- Catchphrase: "Oh Mary, don't ask!"
- He also likes to insert women's names before nouns, e.g. "Connie Casserole" (for lasagna!) and "Debbie Deluge" (for rain).
- Fire-Forged Friends: Played with with Alan. Alan can't stand Emory's effeminacy at first, and punches Emory for taunting him, but Emory later sticks up for Alan against Michael's alcohol fueled interrogation causing Alan to sincerely apologize and for Michael to comment on how suddenly the two became friends.
- N-Word Privileges: Bernard explicitly says he has this but it's Bernard openly talking about it that also makes Emory swear to never do it again.
Bernard
Bernard
"
- My God, What Have I Done?: After he makes his phone call.
- Twofer Token Minority: Black and gay, says both hold him back to some degree.
Cowboy
Cowboy
"
- The Brainless Beauty: Of varying levels, depending on the interpretation.
- Hooker with a Heart of Gold: Played with. He is usually portrayed as being very sweet and says he tries to be affectionate when in bed so he doesn't feel bad about himself.
- Mr. Fanservice: His role in the story.
- No Name Given: We never learn his real name.
Alan
Alan
"
- Ambiguously Gay/Ambiguously Bi: Says he's not but it is implied.
- Ambiguous Situation: Why he was crying on the phone, why he desperately needed to talk to Michael in person, why did he cancel only to show up anyways... none of these events are explained and it's left deliberately ambiguous for the audience what they mean.
- Armoured Closet Gay: Accused of being this by Michael, he denies it.
- Berserk Button: Effeminate men.
- Villainous BSoD: Villain is probably an exaggeration but he's definitely not the hero of the piece and he experiences one of these after hitting Emory. For the rest of the play he's a sputtering, defeated mess.
- You Are What You Hate: One interpretation of his aforementioned Berserk Button is that he's internally homophobic, so seeing a gay man as flamboyant as Emory offsets those feelings in a violent manner.
Harold
Harold
"I'm turning on, and you're just turning."
- Amicable Exes: Implied to be this with Michael. They have a very ambiguously deep connection, two of the primary pieces of evidence being the inscription on Michael's present to Harold which elicited an uncharacteristic show of emotion in Harold (not to mention his refusal to tell the others what it said) and Harold's hatred of Donald.
- Badass Boast: "You're warning me? Me? I'm Harold. I'm the one person you don't warn, Michael, because you and I tread too heavily with each other, and we both play each other's game too well. I know this game you're playing, I know it very well and I play it very well. You play it very well too, but you know what? I'm the only one who's better at it than you are. I can beat you at it so don't push me. I'm warning you."
- Decoy Protagonist: It's his birthday that is the focus of the film but Michael is the main character.
- Deadpan Snarker: Almost every line of his in the whole thing.
- The Heart: It is heavily implied he functions as this to the friend group. Taking care of everyone and keeping them together even as he keeps up a dry and sarcastic persona.
- Lovable Alpha Bitch: His role in the story. In direct comparison to Michael, who is just as bitchy but far less loveable.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Give an EPIC one to Michael in the end.
