Characters / Mail Order Ninja

Protagonists

Timothy “Timmy” James McAllister

• Butt-Monkey: Before Jiro enters the picture, Timmy is a nobody who is subjected to bullying by the local delinquents and his own little sister.

• Messy Hair: His hair juts out in a dorky fashion from his biking helmet.

Jiro Yoshida

• Handicapped Badass: He lost his voice after a fateful fight with his rival, Hakuryuu Nobunaga.

• Informed Ability: According to an info card, he was once an accomplished singer whom critics referred to as “the Japanese Barry Manilow”.

• The Speechless: Lost his voice during a battle with his rival, Nobunaga.

Herman W. Poindexter

• Butt-Monkey:
  • He's a painfully nerdy kid who gets the chess pieces beaten out of him by bullies.
  • In volume two, Big Bad Felicity literally shotputs him.
• Extracurricular Enthusiast: He’s a member of the Chess Club, Opera Appreciation Society, Computer Club, International Council of Sci-fi and Fantasy Fandom, and the Calligraphy Club.
• Geek Physiques: Of the tall and lanky variety.
• Nerdy Inhaler: “Can’t *hee* go on… *hee* Asthma…”

Antagonists

Felicity Dominique Huntington

• Age-Inappropriate Dress: She sports new clothing from designer brands every day and is frequently shown wearing high heel shoes.

• Big Bad: She eventually orders her own army of ninjas and pulls a [1] before taking over the entire town.
• Evil Makes You Monstrous: The aforementioned villainous transformation.

• '70s Hair: Sports a towering afro.
• Spoiled Brat: Her main motivation is getting revenge on Timmy for becoming more popular than she is.
• The Fashionista: Her first appearance is on a makeshift runway in a school hall.
• Valley Girl: Including speech peppered with "likes" and "totallys".

Hakuryuu Nobunaga, esq.

• Good Scars, Evil Scars: He has a distinctive scar over his eye.
• Handicapped Badass: He looks to be blind in the aforementioned eye.
• Kick the Dog: He is willing to kill children in order to get what he wants.
  • Also, he once sued his own mother because he didn’t like the birthday present she got him.

• The Resenter: His main motivation for wanting to destroy Jiro is to make up for years of living in his shadow.

L. Frank Baum Elementary

Brock Breckenridge

• Age-Inappropriate Dress: He has a heart tattoo on his arm that reads “MOM”.

• Card-Carrying Villain: Literally carries a card from the "American Bullying Association".

• Dumb Muscle: Strong enough to take on one of the White Dragon's top agents, dumb enough to be coaxed into risking his life to fight said ninja.
• Jerkass: With the exception of Lindsay, no one actually likes him because of this.
• Team Dad: Despite his abusive treatment of the twins, he often keeps them from bickering.
  • Corroborated in volume one’s original script [2], in which he smacks their heads together when they start fighting over the card they took from Timmy.
• Ungrateful Bastard: Jiro’s sacrificing himself for his safety didn’t factor into his decision to help Timmy.
• With Friends Like These...: with the twins.
  • Remus (about Brock): ”Yeah, we’re his best friends, and even we can’t stand him!”
• Young Entrepreneur: He runs a toll booth and a sales auction.

Remus and Romulus Wolfe

• Age-Inappropriate Dress: Their eyebrows are pierced.
• Creepy Twins: According to the script, "Brock motions for the twins to search Timmy. They answer in eerie unison." [3]

• Emo Teen: Subverted. They have the appearance, but their attitudes are far from the stereotype.
• Identical Twin ID Tag: Their fringes, eyebrow piercings, and wallet chains are worn on opposite sides. They have different shirts. Remus wears a wristband while Romulus wears a choker. Also, Remus’ jeans are tucked into his shoes.

• Theme Twin Naming: Of the mythological variety. A subtle joke, considering that Romulus’ namesake killed his brother over a petty squabble, reflecting the twins’ belligerent natures.

Aleasa Duesenberg

• Shrinking Violet: Stutters frequently and never raises her voice to Felicity, who is implied to be her only friend.

Miss Sarah Melton

• Defiant Captive: Talks back to Felicity before her scheduled execution.
• Hope Is Scary: She briefly rationalizes that Jiro wouldn't be interested in her because she's lived such an unexciting life until then.
  "What could a jet-setting ninja like him ever see in a small town girl like me?"

McAllister Family

Lindsay McAllister

• Bratty Half-Pint: Helps Brock and his goons extort Timmy in exchange for a cut of the profits.
• Deliberately Cute Child: Initiates [4] when asking their parents if they love her more than they love her older brother.

Thomas “Dad” McAllister

• Papa Wolf: Understandably, doesn't react well to his children being in danger.
  “Get your stinking paws off my daughter, you darn, dirty ninja!”