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A Perfect Cliche Storm: Let's Read Adventurers Wanted
WillyFourEyes
Sounds like prime lulzblog material. I'll be interested in seeing where this goes.
SapphireBlue
BonsaiForest
Ronka87
I see you've decided to join us, Ronka. I hope you've got time; this is a long'un. XD
FreezairForALimitedTime
BonsaiForest
Admittedly, the concept might have had some potential...in the hands of a wittier writer with more lively prose. This is as dry as it gets. I'm just hoping he doesn't go off to "Adventurer Heaven" at some point.
Cliche
I'm with Bonsai Forest here; the whole concept of paying to have a fantasy adventure sounds like something from a parody of high fantasy. Yet this book seems to have no self-awareness at all.
Idler20
SapphireBlue
I'm reminded of the Landover series. It manages to do the "Purchase yourself a fantasy adventure" thing with equal amounts of comedy and drama, since while it is no doubt funny (especially the state of the kingdom), the protagonist's reasons for doing so are kind of sad (he feels he has nothing left on Earth since his wife's death).
FreezairForALimitedTime
lee4hmz
And now, reading this LB nearly two years after I first read it? Wow, the plot twists are so not shocking that it kind of hurts anyway. Everything is so predictable; even the "paying to go on the adventure" thing isn't so much a twist as it's an odd plot device that sounds like it shouldn't be here.
lee4hmz
Cliche
I have my suspicions that that's where this thing began, though.
FreezairForALimitedTime
But who is the comic relief?!
Myrmidon
I am! :P
FreezairForALimitedTime
WillyFourEyes
lee4hmz
The most frightening thing about that is that there actually is a superhero like that; sort of. Mother of Champions. And good golly gosh is she creepy.
FreezairForALimitedTime
lee4hmz
EponymousKid
(edited by: EponymousKid)
Yay, a more memorable renaming so I don't forget these people like my first attempt to read this! You heard me, I tried reading this thing multiple times. Could only make it halfway through before I gave up, and I'm a little embarrassed to admit, I didn't realize how boring it is until recently. Guess I was trying too hard to give it a chance because a friend recommended it. Glad I'm not the only one who found it a snorefest! I'll just return the book to the library and read this instead, your interpretation is a lot more entertaining. And I agree with previous comments, this would have made an excellent parody! But hey, if Forman can get published there's hope for my work yet.
pLanetstarBerry
BonsaiForest
You actually can go inside the Bags of Holding in this universe; they are meant to be traveled into by people. Which just makes the excuse all the lamer, especially when it seems like a perectly reasonable question.
FreezairForALimitedTime
I'm betting on Andy as the most likely Wizard canidate. Him or Alex.
Myrmidon
SapphireBlue
vifetoile
EponymousKid
FreezairForALimitedTime
Eh, fair enough. Sorry, I'm a compulsive Devil's Advocate. Still, despite running straight into some of my pet peeves, I really do like this LB. Keep up the good work.
EponymousKid
BonsaiForest
I had to shrink it a little to make our image uploader accept it, but in the full size, the fact that that's a comma is pretty hard to miss.
FreezairForALimitedTime
I would say the guy has pretensions of being the next e.e. cummings, but I doubt he's talented enough for that.
lee4hmz
65.49.136.86
Pretty bad, but not the worst I've seen. In my copy of Starlight, a sci-fi novel of dubious quality I was reading, one of the pages had lines printed in the wrong order. I still can't piece it together. Thankfully, it wasn't anything important-just three chapters of watching an ice wall veeeeery slooooowly advance toward our heroes.
moseythepirate
"Swords? Sounds fine. Magic? That's cool. Horses? Wait, did you say HORSES??! But I've never ridden a horse!!"
BonsaiForest
vifetoile
FreezairForALimitedTime
Idler20
lee4hmz
Oh, great. Now that you mentioned it, I can't unhear it. I may even have to link that next time I do one. But it's nice to know I'm actually being educational! I've read a lot of fantasy, so I know the ins and outs of the genre pretty well. Enough to know the common pitfalls, too. :P
FreezairForALimitedTime
lee4hmz
Ronka87
Acorn and Pregnant. This is a promising team!
FreezairForALimitedTime
BonsaiForest
(edited by: BonsaiForest)
How does setting something on fire + putting out the fire = freezing it solid? That makes no sense!
Idler20
Well, this book's motto so far seems to be "It's magic. I don't have to explain it!", so your guess is as good as mine.
lee4hmz
EponymousKid
(edited by: EponymousKid)
I can't draw trollface very well, which is ironic, considering it's already badly-drawn. Although it's the kind of badly-drawn you have to be a good artist to pull off.
FreezairForALimitedTime
Well, most people would copy and paste. I'm impressed that the idea appears to have not crossed your mind, by the by. Good job not taking the easy way out.
EponymousKid
Ronka87
BonsaiForest
(edited by: BonsaiForest)
I'm actually okay with the trolls molting like that. I can handle DND trolls having insane regeneration powers, and this isn't too far from that. Now if this story were making any effort to be realistic, it would be a different matter.
Myrmidon
EponymousKid
FreezairForALimitedTime
...So, like, what's your secret? Why is your liveblog good and successful and mine neither of those things?
EponymousKid
FreezairForALimitedTime
Oh, well that's hardly "live", then, isn't it? But you're clearly doing something right, so who am I to judge?
EponymousKid
Well, basically, I read ahead and sort of take mental notes on things to point out. Then I skim while I'm posting an LB and both transcribe the full thing and point out the things I noted before.
FreezairForALimitedTime
lee4hmz
lee4hmz
BonsaiForest
FreezairForALimitedTime
8-9 months is plenty of time to learn a whole new language and become fluent in Elfin. If Eragon can do it, why not Alex?
BonsaiForest
lee4hmz
Oh, and "Moon Slayer" totally sounds like a My Little Pony name. A bit on the dark side, sure, but it fits the pattern. :lol:
lee4hmz
lee4hmz
FreezairForALimitedTime
BonsaiForest
At least if COG turns out to be evil, it'll be a twist... sort of. If it's not considered a spoiler, there are actually three more chapters after the one called "Slathbog," so there's plenty of a chance for COG to show his true colors, if he has them!
FreezairForALimitedTime
Well we have to leave something for the sequels, obviously.
Myrmidon
lee4hmz
How will a back door be useful? Does Slathbog have guards? Because if it's just the dragon, you're going to be fighting him either way.
Myrmidon
I think you're reaching when you mock the name "Eric von Tealo" when there are millions of people with far sillier names. Like my real name, Dillon Lowther. What is that, some Scottish ghost town? Not everybody can be named Joe Smith. That said, why you'd create a character in a fantasy setting with a perfectly realistic goofball name is beyond me.
EponymousKid
I just think the last name "von Tealo" is kind of silly. Or at least, the "Tealo" part. It puts me in mind of 50's slang.
FreezairForALimitedTime
BonsaiForest
(edited by: BonsaiForest)
This is why it is important to think about your chapter titles.
FreezairForALimitedTime
lee4hmz
lee4hmz
Heigh Ho!!!!!!
Myrmidon
lee4hmz
I think a refresher course on what mithril and a bag of holding are isn't a bad idea, as long as it's very short. I didn't even know what mithril was, so a sentence or two would suffice. If it's reinventing them into a new form, then a long explanation would work.
BonsaiForest
I don't really think it's that necessary, personally. If you've never heard of mithril, then it's the story's job to make clear that it's something akin to the ultimate metal. The same with a bag of holding. Don't act like nobody's heard of it before, just use it in the story and let us read it.
EponymousKid
The problem is, the "long explanation" is what it does and it doesn't reinvent it. I have no problem with "refresher courses," as I stated waaaay back in Chapter 3, but one of the big problems here is that he treats the standard cliches like great revelations without truly bothering to put his own spin on them.
FreezairForALimitedTime
lee4hmz
Oh god, now I can't unsee that, either. And I kind of love it.
FreezairForALimitedTime
Cliche
lee4hmz
Idler20
And now I'm looking at that line and thinking "YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, COLD VOICE!!!!!" Hehehehe.
lee4hmz
lee4hmz
At least she's hitting on someone closer to emotionally mature then. :P
FreezairForALimitedTime
lee4hmz
Myrmidon
lee4hmz
BonsaiForest
(edited by: BonsaiForest)
FreezairForALimitedTime
Yaaaay! I figured you'd appreciate the joke, but I didn't know I'd make you squee. [waii]
lee4hmz
And on top of all this...YAY CORA! I hadn't read Always a Hero when I first went through the LB, so I remember being a little lost at this point, but I loved that scene this time around. XD
lee4hmz
lee4hmz
lee4hmz
BonsaiForest
FreezairForALimitedTime
lee4hmz
BonsaiForest
Ronka87
At the very lest, if this can get published, I'm sure I can.
FreezairForALimitedTime
lee4hmz
BonsaiForest
BonsaiForest
FreezairForALimitedTime
lee4hmz
BonsaiForest
I totally made a cake kind of like that when I was a kid, Lee. Me and my friend Ashley. We put things like sprinkles and peach yogurt in it. Me? I don't know exactly what it was, but that cake grew two huge bubbly mounds right in the center. Being immature little kids, we said the cake had boobs.
FreezairForALimitedTime
lee4hmz
EponymousKid
lee4hmz
Needs to have more open Alex/pony love.
SKJAM
SKJAM: Yes, it does. Author, I am disappoint.
lee4hmz
SKJAM
Ronka87
Thank you, Miss Ronka!
FreezairForALimitedTime
This whole liveblog was really fun to read. Thank you!
AmyJade
Thank you, miss. :D I'm glad to see someone found it anew. I didn't want to bump it for the sake of bumping it, but there's a couple errors in this I wanted to fix, and editing an installment bumps it.
FreezairForALimitedTime
YonTroper
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I'm weirdI just like doing that). Then again, it's also nearly 3 AM here, and I'm kind of slurring my words anyway.wizardadventurer, Harry!" bit from the original. Great job on the liveblog, Freezair! Very enjoyable, especially the "how to make it better" bit. Thumbs way way up!Important Links