History Quotes / Metaphorgotten

-->-- ''Discworld/NightWatch''

-->-- '''Haru''', ''WebAnimation/FiftyPercentOff''

'''Kiritsugu'''': One big crazy bag of marbles. Blue marbles. Red marbles. Half transparent marbles with a fun swirl in them. Some marbles are even more interesting. [[Anime/FateZero Some marbles you think are going to be limited edition with king designs, but then they're the equally limited but much more surprising female king marble. Some argue that's debatably rarer. I argue that's anxiety inducing. Some like to abduct smaller marbles, then you gotta shoot that marble 'cause it's marble buddy brought a really big black tentacle marble. Marbles sure are random. Especially when you force them into wheelchairs, hold other marbles for ransom, forge a magical pact with a marble that forces you to watch as they grovel in pain on the ground, begging for the sweet release of marble death. But you can't. Because you signed a magical marble pact. And you can only watch as its last marble breath escapes its marble lips.]]\\

[[folder:Fan Fiction]]

->''"That's right, folks. This election has no room for margin of error or correct use of metaphors. It's banana-up-for-grabs!"''

-> ''You see, Clara, they're stored in the paintings in the Undergallery. Like Cup-A-Soups! Except you add time, if you can picture that. Nobody can picture that. Forget I said Cup-A-Soups.''

->''The Irish fear nothing and no one''\\
''They keep fightin' till everyone's dead!''\\
''...I'm not sure where this metaphor's goin'''\\
''I just felt like it had to be said!''
--> -- '''Paulette''', "Ireland," ''Theatre/LegallyBlonde''

->I always thought swimming was [[JustLikeMakingLove kinda like doing somebody.]] You dive in, flop around a bit, and you either get booed or somebody gives you a medal. And then I found out swimming isn't like that at all. You can't [[CargoShip have sex with]] [[NoodleIncident your neighbor's above-ground backyard pool]]... What was I talking about?
-->-- '''Haru''', ''WebAnimation/FiftyPercentOff''

->We are the Dark Knights for justice. Because as children we were nursed on the milk of justice, and as we grew up we acquired a taste for justice. Now as we get older we once again desire the taste of justice... but we cannot find the milk! So we go to Starbucks! And we get a coffee! But it's not the same thing! IT SUCKS! WHY DID I ORDER THIS!? IT'S TERRIBLE! And now you all understand what our mission is. And what. We. Must. Do.
-->-- '''Lelouch[=/=]One''', ''WebVideo/CodeMENT''

->'''Kiritsugu''': Just goes to show you, life's a crazy bag of marbles.\\
'''Shirou''': Marbles?\\
'''Kiritsugu'''': One big crazy bag of marbles. Blue marbles. Red marbles. Half transparent marbles with a fun swirl in them. Some marbles are even more interesting. [[Anime/FateZero Some marbles you think are going to be limited edition with king designs, but then they're the equally limited but much more surprising female king marble. Some argue that's debatably rarer. I argue that's anxiety inducing. Some like to abduct smaller marbles, then you gotta shoot that marble 'cause it's marble buddy brought a really big black tentacle marble. Marbles sure are random. Especially when you force them into wheelchairs, hold other marbles for ransom, forge a magical pact with a marble that forces you to watch as they grovel in pain on the ground, begging for the sweet release of marble death. But you can't. Because you signed a magical marble pact. And you can only watch as its last marble breath escapes its marble lips.]]\\
'''Shirou''' (''confused''): Dad...did marbles hurt you?\\
'''Kiritsugu''': No kiddo, I hurt me. I also hurt marbles. I feel worse about the marbles.
-->--''WebVideo/FateStayNightUnlimitedBladeWorksAbridged''

->Dear Chief Replacement,\\\
I wanted to send you this friendly little letter to inform you of your imminent demise. If you're curious about the frequency of which I send these letters, it is merely to instill as much fear as I can. As if basting a turkey. Which I will then proceed to have sex with.\\
That's right.\\
I'm going to FUCK the fear turkey.\\
Follow me @theCrimsonFuckr!\\\
Sincerely,\\
Alucard
-->-- A letter to UsefulNotes/ThePope, ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''

->From the ashes sprouted a powerful friendship, and in time, Kirito found that he could [[DamnedByFaintPraise almost tolerate]] [[RagTagBunchOfMisfits them]], much like how a fat man tolerates the tapeworms in his intestines. And like those tapeworms, that guild burrowed deep into his innards, and gorged themselves on his leftovers, until they began causing abdominal pain and diarrhea. I realize the metaphor's breaking down a bit here, but Granny Dapper didn't raise no quitters!
-->-- '''[[LemonyNarrator Jack Dapper]]''', ''WebVideo/SwordArtOnlineAbridged''

->Playing card games is {{just like making love}}. You usually do it on a table, and you always feel deep shame when it's finished. Also, the older you get, the less fun it is. So remember, always wear a condom when playing card games.
-->-- '''Grandpa''', ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''

-> ''"A good story is like a good bowel movement: it's only really satisfying once it's ended. Because if you just keep going, then eventually your body runs out of shit and moves on to pushing all of your internal organs out of your sphincter, until only a foul-smelling shell remains, and anyone who wants to get in on your incredibly long poo gets turned off, because they need to have gone through all of the poo up to that point to have the necessary context and this is where the analogy is breaking down somewhat."''

-->-- Gamestop commercial for ''Franchise/CallOfDuty''

Shirou (''confused''): Dad...did marbles hurt you?\\

-->--WebVideo/''WebVideo/FateStayNightUnlimitedBladeWorksAbridged''

'''Kiritsugu'''': One big crazy bag of marbles. Blue marbles. Red marbles. Half transparent marbles with a fun swirl in them. Some marbles are even more interesting. [[Anime/FateZero Some marbles you think are going to be limited edition with king designs, but then they're the equally limited but much more surprising female king marble. Some argue that's debatably rarer. I argue that's anxiety inducing. Some like to abduct smaller marbles, then you gotta shoot that marble 'cause it's marble buddy brought a really big black tentacle marble. Marbles sure are random. Especially when you force them into wheelchairs, hold other marbles for ransom, forge a magical pact with a marble that forces you to watch as they grovel in pain on the ground, begging for the sweet release of marble death. But you can't. Because you signed a magical marble pact. And you can only watch as its last marble breath escapes its marble lips.]]

-->--WebVideo/''FateStayNightUnlimitedBladeWorksAbridged''

-> ''The puppet master! You're a puppet in a play, and I hold all the strings! And cards, still. Cards in one hand, strings in the other. And I'm making you dance like a puppet. Playing cards.''

-> "When Life hands ya lemons and tells ya ta make lemonade, give 'em back ta Life. Tell Life ta make its own damn lemonade. Den give Life a kick in da plates! Watch Life cry like a glitch! Say, how d'ya like ''dose'' lemons, Ay, Life?! How 'bout some ''sugar'' with dat lemonade, Ay?! You ain't handin' nobody lemons no more, are ya?! Yeah, don't go lettin' Life make a glitch outta you; if Life's a glitch, ''you're'' gonna go frag it! With its own damn lemons!"
-->-- '''Roleplayer''' of [[TheTransformersMoreThanMeetsTheEye Whirl]]

-> "When Life hands ya lemons and tells ya to make lemonade, give 'em back ta Life. Tell Life ta make its own damn lemonade. Den give Life a kick in da plates! Watch Life cry like a glitch! Say, how d'ya like ''those'' lemons, Ay, Life?! How 'bout some ''sugar'' with dat lemonade, Ay?! You ain't handin' nobody lemons no more, are ya?! Yeah, don't go lettin' Life make a glitch outta you; if Life's a glitch, ''you're'' gonna go frag it! With its own damn lemons!"

-> "When Life hands ya lemons and tells ya to make lemonade, give 'em back to Life. Tell Life ta make its own damn lemonade. Den give Life a kick in da plates! Watch Life cry like a glitch! Say, how d'ya like ''those'' lemons, Ay, Life?! How 'bout some ''sugar'' with dat lemonade, Ay?! You ain't handin' nobody lemons no more, are ya?! Yeah, don't you go lettin' Life make a glitch outta you; if Life's a glitch, ''you're'' gonna go frag it! With its own damn lemons!"

-> "When Life hands ya lemons and tells ya to make lemonade, give 'em back to Life. Tell Life ta make its own damn lemonade. Den give Life a kick in da plates! Watch Life cry like a glitch! Say, how d'ya like ''those'' lemons, Ay, Life?! How 'bout some ''sugar'' with dat lemonade, Ay?! You ain't handin' nobody lemons no more, are ya?! Yeah, don't you go lettin' Life make a glitch outta you; if Life's a glitch, ''you're'' gonna go frag it!"

-> "When Life gives ya lemons and tells ya to make lemonade, give 'em back to Life. Tell Life ta make its own damn lemonade. Den give Life a kick in da plates! Watch Life cry like a glitch! Say, how d'ya like ''those'' lemons, Ay, Life?! How 'bout some ''sugar'' with dat lemonade, Ay?! You ain't handin' nobody lemons no more, are ya?! Yeah, don't you go lettin' Life make a glitch outta you; if Life's a glitch, ''you're'' gonna go frag it!"
-->-- '''Roleplayer''' of [[TheTransformersMoreThanMeetsTheEye Whirl]]

-->-- Roleplayer of [[TheTransformersMoreThanMeetsTheEye Whirl]]

-->-- '''Wheatley''', ''VideoGame/{{Portal 2}}''

->'''Amanda Waller''': I am Amanda Waller, and you can think of me as your fairy godmother from Hell. Only I won't be granting any wishes, [...] but rather makes each and everyone of you ''my bitch!''\\

-->-- '[[WebVideo/YoungJusticeAbridged Suicide Squad Abridged]]''

-->-- ''ComicBook/SuicideSquad: [[WesternAnimation/BatmanAssaultOnArkham Assault on Arkham]] [[TheAbridgedSeries Abridged]]''

-> '''You see, Clara, they're stored in the paintings in the Undergallery. Like Cup-A-Soups! Except you add time, if you can picture that. Nobody can picture that. Forget I said Cup-A-Soups.'''

->That's right, folks. This election has no room for margin of error or correct use of metaphors. It's banana-up-for-grabs!

->'''Lutark''': Do you know how painful it is to watch you guys not to be with eachother?
->'''Lutark''': It's like eating macaroni without the cheese.
->'''Lutark''': So you end up with some sad bowl of mac and nothing and you're there wishing
->'''Lutark''': 'Damn, this mac looks so sad, it needs some cheese'.
->'''Rodard''': Pardon, am I the pasta in this metaphor or am I the cheese?
->'''Lutark''': Well, I dunno, dude, you're both looking like p sad noodles either way.
->'''Rodard''': Oh.
->-- ''Webcomic/{{Hackbent}}''

->We are the Dark Knights for justice. Because as children we were nursed on the milk of justice, and as we grew up we acquired a taste for justice. Now as we get older we once again desire the taste of justice... but we cannot find the milk! So we go to Starbucks! And we get a coffee! But it's not the same thing! IT SUCKS! WHY DID I ORDER THIS!? IT'S TERRIBLE! And now you all understand what our mission is. And. What. We. Must. Do.

->An elephant never forgets, but I forget what the elephant remembered.
-->-- '''Ed''', ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy''

->'''Darwin:''' Yeah... it sounds like the sea, but more purple.\\
'''Gumball:''' What? No.\\
'''Darwin:''' You're right, it's more like the sound of Christmas, but like, in the desert.\\
'''Gumball:''' What does that even mean?!\\
'''Darwin:''' Yeah, it's more like the sound of a cellphone (''wry smile'') grabbing onto an ice cream cake.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball'', "The Advice"

->''"[Airships] put me in mind of a man who invents a floor that is perfectly smooth, beautifully patterned, never requires cleaning, and never wears out. Unfortunately, the floor cannot be walked upon with nailed shoes or have anything dropped on it, because it's made of high explosive."''
-->-- '''UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler'''

->-- ''Webcomic/{{Hackbent}}