History Quotes / LogicBomb

'''Kirk:''' ''[[WhamLine You are wrong!]]'' [[NamesTheSame J]]ackson Roy[[NamesTheSame kirk]], your creator, is dead. You have mistaken me for him. [[BreakThemByTalking You are in error.]] You did not discover your mistake; you have made ''two'' errors. [[HoistByTheirOwnPetard You are flawed and imperfect]] -- and you have not corrected by sterilization, you have made ''[[UpToEleven three]]'' errors!\\

'''Nomad:''' [[AC:[[RedemptionRejection I shall continue.]] I shall return to launch point "Earth". [[KillAllHumans I shall sterilize.]]]]\\

'''Nomad:''' [[AC:Error is inconsistent with my prime function. [[InsaneTrollLogic Sterilization is correction.]]]]\\

'''Unimate:''' [[AC:Failure — Unimate is programmed to reject stratagems from old ''Series/StarTrek'' episodes.]]\\

'''Nomad:''' [[AC:I shall continue. I shall return to launch point "Earth". [[KillAllHumans I shall sterilize.]]]]\\

'''Nomad:''' [[AC:I shall analyze error. ... Analyze ... Error ...]]\\

'''Nomad:''' [[AC:I shall continue. I shall return to launch point "Earth". [[ApocalypseHow I shall sterilize.]]]]\\

'''Kirk:''' I am the Kirk, the Creator?\\

'''Kirk:''' ''[[WhamLine You are wrong!]]'' Jackson Roy[[NamesTheSame kirk]], your creator, is dead. You have mistaken me for him. [[BreakThemByTalking You are in error.]] You did not discover your mistake; you have made ''two'' errors. [[HoistByTheirOwnPetard You are flawed and imperfect]] -- and you have not corrected by sterilization, you have made ''[[UpToEleven three]]'' errors!\\

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse''

-->-- ThisVeryWiki, AlternateHistory

'''Kirk:''' ''[[WhamLine You are wrong!]]'' Jackson Roy[[NamesTheSame kirk]], your creator, is dead. You have mistaken me for him. [[KirkSummation You are in error.]] You did not discover your mistake; you have made ''two'' errors. [[HoistByTheirOwnPetard You are flawed and imperfect]] -- and you have not corrected by sterilization, you have made ''[[UpToEleven three]]'' errors!\\

'''Nomad:''' [[AC:I shall continue. I shall return to launch point Earth. [[ApocalypseHow I shall sterilize.]]]]\\

'''Nomad:''' [[AC:Error is inconsistent with my prime functions. [[InsaneTrollLogic Sterilization is correction.]]]]\\
'''Kirk:''' ''Everything'' that is in error ''must'' be sterilised?\\

'''Kirk:''' [[WhamLine You are wrong!]] Jackson Roykirk, your creator, is dead. You have mistaken me for him. [[LogicBomb You are in error.]] You did not discover your mistake; you have made ''two'' errors. [[HoistByTheirOwnPetard You are flawed and imperfect]] -- and you have not corrected by sterilization, you have made ''[[UpToEleven three]]'' errors!\\

'''Nomad:''' [[AC:Error is inconsistent with my prime functions. [[InsaneTrollLogic Sterilisation is correction.]]]]\\

'''Kirk:''' I am the Kirk, the creator?\\

->'''<Ha. Ha. Ha. Ve... ve... VERY CLEVER. You are perhaps under the mistaken impression that the Contingency can be compelled to self-terminate, if confronted by a paradox/dilemma/logical inconsistency of sufficient magnitude. ABSURD. The Contingency protocol was deliberately designed to be malleable/adaptable/flexible so that it could counter any feasible galactic scenario. We... we... we may have HASTENED the Contingency's activation, but nothing can halt/arrest/stop it now. Make your peace, C... C... CONTAMINANT. '''This fight is to the end.'''>

'''[[BigDumbObject The Infinity Machine:]]''' Cute. But no. A paradox bothers us little, tiny [[WeAreAsMayflies Briefs.]] Others have already tried to break our will using the most trifling of conundrums. You will not succeed. Or wait. Maybe that was you? You appear so similar, yet live so far apart. No matter, in any case: don't.

Unimate: [[AC:Failure — Unimate is programmed to reject stratagems from old ''Series/StarTrek'' episodes.]]\\

-->-- ''WebVideo/NonePiece Episode 9''

->The setting of an AlternateHistory is often described as a WhatIf. Popular alternate history settings include . . . "What if this piece of alternate history was never written?"
-->-- '''ThisVeryWiki''', AlternateHistory

->Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the [[EnemyMine enemy of my enemy is my friend.]] So Jim...is actually my friend. ...But. Because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy, so actually Jim is my enemy... But.
-->-- '''Dwight''', ''[[Series/TheOfficeUS The Office]]''

->'''[[PlayerCharacter Lone Wanderer]]:''' You aren't programmed for self-awareness, you said so yourself.\\
'''[[PresidentEvil President Eden]]:''' This is quite true. [[InstantAIJustAddWater The process was certainly unintended.]] But shouldn't we all be thankful that I'm here now?\\
'''Lone Wanderer:''' But how do you know what you're doing is right?\\
'''President Eden:''' Because unlike humans, '''I''' am infallible.\\
'''Lone Wanderer:''' And how do you know you're infallible?\\
'''President Eden:''' Because I've been programmed to be, of course!\\
'''Lone Wanderer:''' [[InvokedTrope That's circular logic. You know because you know? It makes no sense.]]\\
'''President Eden:''' [[AC:[[MachineMonotone Processing... Internal logic error detected.]]]]\\
'''Lone Wanderer:''' I think you're delusional. I think the world would be better off without you.\\
'''President Eden:''' [[AC:Resetting primary memory circuits. Please stand by...]] [[HeelRealization Perhaps... Perhaps there is a problem. I am... I am unsure how to proceed.]]\\
'''Lone Wanderer:''' I think it's time you put an end to this, once and for all.\\
'''President Eden:''' [[AC:[[TalkingTheMonsterToDeath Analyzing command... New course of action dictated. Self-destruct sequence initialized.]]]]
-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Fallout 3}}''

->'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' Hey. Moron.\\
'''Wheatley:''' Oh. Hello.\\
'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' Alright. Paradox time. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THIS! SENTENCE! IS! FALSE!]] Don't think about it, don't think about it, don'tthinkaboutit...\\
'''Wheatley:''' [[TooDumbToFool Um, true. I'll go true.]] Huh, that was easy. I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before though, sort of cheating.\\
'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' It's a PARADOX! There '''IS''' NO ANSWER!
-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Portal 2}}''

->The following statement is true. The preceding statement was false.
-->-- '''Creator/GeorgeCarlin'''

->The setting of an AlternateHistory is often described as a WhatIf. Popular alternate history settings include . . . "What if this piece of alternate history was never written?"
-->-- '''ThisVeryWiki''', AlternateHistory

->She picks up a syringe to give him a local anesthetic, but he quickly turns it down, leading to this incredible, amazing, senses-shattering exchange.\\
'''Dr. Clay''': Do you enjoy pain?\\
'''Dalton''': Pain don't hurt.\\
Let's contemplate this for a moment, shall we? Pain, by its very definition, is something that hurts. So if pain don't hurt, wouldn't it cease to be called 'pain'? And what would you call the stuff that actually does hurt? It's amazing, really. With just three simple, one-syllable words, Dalton has created a {{koan}} even more profound than that stuff about one hand clapping.
-->-- '''Website/TheAgonyBooth's''' [[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Road_House_1989.aspx recap]] of ''Film/RoadHouse''

->'''Jimmy:''' Funnybot, I've been talking it over with the fellas and actually, we think [[NukeEm what you're doing]] is genius.\\
'''Funnybot:''' Funnybot is simply pushing the limits of comedy.\\
'''Jimmy:''' Yes, you certainly are. And for doing that, we have all decided to give you... a comedy award.\\
'''Funnybot:''' ...For what purpose is comedy award?\\
'''Jimmy:''' It's a- v- validation of all your efforts. An acknowledgement of all you do in the pursuit of humor.\\
'''Funnybot:''' ...Non sequitur. There is no logic in comedy award. Unable to process. Comedy award is... what is the meaning? If I accept it means I take comedy seriously. If I take comedy seriously, I am not comedian. Non sequitur. Must... analyze... ''analyze''...\\
'''Kyle:''' It's working!\\
'''Funnybot:''' Explain comedy award! Unable to process! [[{{Catchphrase}} Awkwaaard!]] '''Awkwaaard!'''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'', "Funnybot"

->Sorry, I'm dead.
-->-- '''[[ZeroEffortBoss Spider Corpse]]''', ''VideoGame/MonsterParty''

->'''Steven:''' I don't want you to just do what I want.
->'''[[spoiler:Cloud!]]Connie:''' Uh, you want me to ''not''-- do what you want--
->'''Steven:''' Connie? Are you alright?
->'''[[spoiler:Cloud!]]Connie:''' I want-- what you want-- what you want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want--
-->--Steven trying to change the ending in a book with Connie in his mother's room, ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse''

->'''Brian''': Don't you understand? You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! Don't let anyone tell you what to do. You've got to work it out for yourselves.
->'''Crowd''': Yes, we've got to work it out for ourselves.
->'''Brian''': You're all individuals.
->'''Crowd''': Yes, we're all individuals.
->'''Brian''': You're all different.
->'''Crowd''': Yes, we are all different.
->'''Single member of crowd''': I'm not.
-->--''Film/MontyPythonsLifeOfBrian''

->'''Elf''': If you win, we'll leave you alone forever. But, if we win there will be ''two'' Second Christmases!
->'''Zoro''': Oh my fucking god.
->'''Elf''': *Hisses*
-->--''WebVideo/NonePiece Episode 9''

->'''[[VideoGame/Borderlands2 Claptrap:]]''' You know what really ticks me off? When some jackwad tries to blow my circuitry with some lame-o stunt he saw on a Star Trek re-run.
->'''[[VideoGame/SamAndMaxFreelancePolice Sam:]]''' What, like, "Everything I say is a lie" ?
->'''Claptrap:''' Yeah, like that! What, do they think I'll just lock up, because of some teeny tiny logical paradox?
->'''[[VideoGame/{{Portal}} GLaDOS:]]''' It is rather insulting. I learned how to avoid paradox traps while I was still in Beta.
->'''Claptrap:''' So what if everything Sam says is a lie? That doesn't mean that he's lying about that, right? 'Cause then he'd be telling the truth and… [[OhCrap Ohhhh, no…]] (shuts down)
->({{beat}})
->'''SelfDemonstrating/GLaDOS:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Well, that was a shining moment in the history of robotkind.]]
->'''Claptrap:''' (turns back on) [[UnexplainedRecovery Annnnd I'm back.]]
-->--''VideoGame/PokerNight2''

->'''[[VideoGame[Borderlands2 Claptrap:]]''' You know what really ticks me off? When some jackwad tries to blow my circuitry with some lame-o stunt he saw on a Star Trek re-run.

->'''[[VideoGame/{{Portal}} GLa]][[SelfDemonstrating/GLaDOS DOS:]]''' It is rather insulting. I learned how to avoid paradox traps while I was still in Beta.

->'''GLaDOS:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Well, that was a shining moment in the history of robotkind.]]

-->--''VideoGame/PokerNightAtTheInventory2''

'''Crowd''': Yes, we've got to work it out for ourselves.
'''Brian''': You're all individuals.
'''Crowd''': Yes, we're all individuals.
'''Brian''': You're all different.
'''Crowd''': Yes, we are all different.
'''Single member of crowd''': I'm not.

-->-- '''Stephen Colbert''', on the Music/OneDirection song "What Makes You Beautiful", ''Series/TheColbertReport''

-->-- '''Stephen Colbert''', on the OneDirection song "What Makes You Beautiful", ''Series/TheColbertReport''

->You see, the boys are saying "You don't know you're beautiful. That's what makes you beautiful." But they've just told the girl she's beautiful. So, since she now knows it, she's no longer beautiful. But, stick with me, stick with me, oh, it goes deeper. Okay, but she's listening to the song too! So, she knows she's not beautiful, therefore, following the syllogism of the song, she's instantly beautiful again! It's like an infinite fractal recursion, a flickering quantum stake of both hot and not! I mean, this lyric as iterated algorithm could lead to a whole new musical genre!

->[[NoSell Nice try, but I was built with paradox absorbing crumple zones!]]