I cannot - yet I must! How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet?
— Ro-Man, Robot Monster
Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim...is actually my friend. ...But. Because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy, so actually Jim is my enemy... But.
— Dwight, The Office
Lone Wanderer: You aren't programmed for self-awareness, you said so yourself.
President Eden: This is quite true. The process was certainly unintended. But shouldn't we all be thankful that I'm here now?
Lone Wanderer: But how do you know what you're doing is right?
President Eden: Because unlike humans, I am infallible.
Lone Wanderer: And how do you know you're infallible?
President Eden: Because I've been programmed to be, of course!
President Eden: Processing... Internal logic error detected.
Lone Wanderer: I think you're delusional. I think the world would be better off without you.
President Eden: Resetting primary memory circuits. Please stand by... Perhaps... Perhaps there is a problem. I am... I am unsure how to proceed.
Lone Wanderer: I think it's time you put an end to this, once and for all.
President Eden: Analyzing command... New course of action dictated. Self-destruct sequence initialized.
GLaDOS: Hey. Moron.
Wheatley: Oh. Hello.
GLaDOS: Alright. Paradox time. THIS! SENTENCE! IS! FALSE! Don't think about it, don't think about it, don'tthinkaboutit...
Wheatley: Um, true. I'll go true. Huh, that was easy. I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before though, sort of cheating.
GLaDOS: It's a PARADOX! There IS NO ANSWER!
— Portal 2
"The following statement is true. The preceding statement was false."
"I always tell the truth. Even when I lie."
— Tony Montana, Scarface (1983)
The setting of an Alternate History is often described as a What If?. Popular alternate history settings include . . . "What if this piece of alternate history was never written?"
She picks up a syringe to give him a local anesthetic, but he quickly turns it down, leading to this incredible, amazing, senses-shattering exchange.
Dr. Clay: Do you enjoy pain?
Dalton: Pain don't hurt.
Let's contemplate this for a moment, shall we? Pain, by its very definition, is something that hurts. So if pain don't hurt, wouldn't it cease to be called 'pain'? And what would you call the stuff that actually does hurt? It's amazing, really. With just three simple, one-syllable words, Dalton has created a koan even more profound than that stuff about one hand clapping.
Jimmy: Funnybot, I've been talking it over with the fellas and actually, we think what you're doing is genius.
Funnybot: Funnybot is simply pushing the limits of comedy.
Jimmy: Yes, you certainly are. And for doing that, we have all decided to give you... a comedy award.
Funnybot: ...For what purpose is comedy award?
Jimmy: It's a- v- validation of all your efforts. An acknowledgement of all you do in the pursuit of humor.
Funnybot: ...Non sequitur. There is no logic in comedy award. Unable to process. Comedy award is... what is the meaning? If I accept it means I take comedy seriously. If I take comedy seriously, I am not comedian. Non sequitur. Must... analyze... analyze...
Kyle: It's working!
You see, the boys are saying "You don't know you're beautiful. That's what makes you beautiful." But they've just told the girl she's beautiful. So, since she now knows it, she's no longer beautiful. But, stick with me, stick with me, oh, it goes deeper. Okay, but she's listening to the song too! So, she knows she's not beautiful, therefore, following the syllogism of the song, she's instantly beautiful again! It's like an infinite fractal recursion, a flickering quantum stake of both hot and not! I mean, this lyric as iterated algorithm could lead to a whole new musical genre!