History Quotes / LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek

-->-- [[http://notalwaysromantic.com/typecast-for-a-lifetime/28016 This]] post from [[Website/NotAlwaysRight Not Always Romantic]]

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

-->'''Rebecca Bunch''', ''Series/CrazyExGirlfriend'', "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iH3FPrI_Cuw Sex With A Stranger]]"

-->Bulma, ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''

-->-- WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy

'''Valerie:''' ''[bursts into tears]''

->'''Announcer:''' This Tuesday on Lifetime: Valerie Bertinelli stars in a Lifetime Original Movie.

->'''Actress:''' Doctor, you said you were going to cure my cancer, but all you did was rape me. I'm starting to think I don't have cancer at all. \\
'''Actor:''' Well, you're right. About the rape part. But you really do have cancer. \\
'''Announcer:''' Valerie Bertinelli in, ''Men Are Horrible And Will Hurt You Because This Is Lifetime''.

->''"It looks like the casting people just waltzed into an Applebee’s and [[WTHCastingAgency randomly picked people]] to play the parts as fast as they could so they could [[TheyJustDidntCare get on with their 3 martini lunch.]] ''“You’re white. You can play Billy!”'' I look more like Jane Mancini than the actress playing Jane Mancini does. But you know, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a Lifetime movie. I want [[NoBudget community theater wigs]], acting that makes Creator/MeganFox look like Creator/TildaSwinton and actors who look absolutely nothing like the person they’re playing. I want that shit to be a wreck from top to bottom. And judging by that picture, it looks like the ''Melrose Place'' movie is well on its way."''

----

->''"It looks like the casting people just waltzed into an Applebee’s and [[WTHCastingAgency randomly picked people]] to play the parts as fast as they could so they could [[TheyJustDidntCare get on with their 3 martini lunch.]] ''“You’re white. You can play Billy!”'' I look more like Jane Mancini than the actress playing Jane Mancini does. But you know, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a Lifetime movie. I want [[NoBudget community theater wigs]], acting that makes Creator/MeganFox look like Creator/TildaSwinton and actors who look absolutely nothing like the person they’re playing. I want that shit to be a wreck from top to bottom. And judging by that picture, it looks like the ''Melrose Place'' movie is well on its way.

->''"Lifetime hasn’t revealed the source of the script material, but that Sharon Murphy [[VeryLooselyBasedOnATrueStory was not consulted, nor cooperated with the production in any way]]. There aren’t enough [[Series/ParksAndRecreation Leslie Knope]] '''''NO!''''' gifs to sum up how I feel about a Creator/BrittanyMurphy biopic. Brittany Murphy was a beautiful collagen-lipped butterscotch pixie and there is no way Lifetime will do anything but take a giant stinky dump on her memory. Thank god she’s probably too busy teaching a class on adorable giggling to the angels in Heaven to notice that this shit is happening."''
-->--'''''[=DListed=]''''', [[http://dlisted.com/2014/08/13/noooooo-lifetime-is-making-a-biopic-about-brittany-murphy/ "Lifetime Has Made A Biopic About Brittany Murphy"]]
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-->-- FamilyGuy

<<|QuotesWiki|>>

->''" Lifetime hasn’t revealed the source of the script material, but that Sharon Murphy [[VeryLooselyBasedOnATrueStory was not consulted, nor cooperated with the production in any way]]. There aren’t enough [[Series/ParksAndRecreation Leslie Knope]] '''''NO!''''' gifs to sum up how I feel about a Creator/BrittanyMurphy biopic. Brittany Murphy was a beautiful collagen-lipped butterscotch pixie and there is no way Lifetime will do anything but take a giant stinky dump on her memory. Thank god she’s probably too busy teaching a class on adorable giggling to the angels in Heaven to notice that this shit is happening."''

'''Mary Jo Pehl:''' [[SeenItAMillionTimes All of them, actually.]]

-->-- RiffTrax: ''Film/TheXFilesFightTheFuture''

-->-- RiffTrax: ''XFiles: Fight the Future''

-->-- [[http://notalwaysromantic.com/typecast-for-a-lifetime/28016 This]] post from [[NotAlwaysRight Not Always Romantic]]

(He points at someone who is, in fact, the bad guy. I’m shocked.) \\

'''Mary Jo Pehl:''' [[SeenItAMillionTimes All of them, actually.]] \\

'''Roger:''' Why do they stay, Steve? Why do they stay? \\

'''Announcer:''' Valerie Bertinelli in, ''Men Are Horrible And Will Hurt You Because This Is Lifetime''. \\

-->'''Mary Jo Pehl:''' I saw this same scene in a Lifetime movie about a woman trying to escape an abusive relationship. \\

-- RiffTrax: ''XFiles: Fight the Future''

-->'''Roger:''' Oh, my God, look what's on Lifetime! Daphne Zuniga in ''Spooning with Anger''. \\

-- WesternAnimation/AmericanDad, ''A.T. The Abusive Terrestrial''

-->'''Actress:''' Doctor, you said you were going to cure my cancer, but all you did was rape me. I'm starting to think I don't have cancer at all. \\

-- FamilyGuy

-->I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. There was this one, “How Far is Too Far Enough: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story.” This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her. And he hid in her house, and then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes. Also, her daughter was having sex way too young. So yeah, free self defense class? I’m there.\\
-- Ann Perkins in ''ParksAndRecreation''

-->I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. There was this one, “How Far is Too Far Enough: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story.” This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her. And he hid in her house, and then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes. Also, her daughter was having sex way too young. So yeah, free self defense class? I’m there.

-- AmericanDad, ''A.T. The Abusive Terrestrial''