Mary Jo Pehl: I saw this same scene in a Lifetime movie about a woman trying to escape an abusive relationship.
Bill Corbet: Which movie was that?
Mary Jo Pehl: All of them, actually.
Roger: Oh, my God, look what's on Lifetime! Daphne Zuniga in Spooning with Anger.
Roger: So?! That's our favorite spousal abuse movie of all time. We gave it even higher marks than Valerie Bertinelli's classic, Please, Kevin. Not in the Face.
TV: "I'm sorry dinner was late! I love you so much!"
Roger: Why do they stay, Steve? Why do they stay?
— American Dad!, A.T. The Abusive Terrestrial
Actress: Doctor, you said you were going to cure my cancer, but all you did was rape me. I'm starting to think I don't have cancer at all.
Actor: Well, you're right. About the rape part. But you really do have cancer.
Announcer: Valerie Bertinelli in, Men Are Horrible And Will Hurt You Because This Is Lifetime.
Boyfriend: “He did it.”
(He points at someone who is, in fact, the bad guy. She's shocked.)
Girlfriend: “But he hasn’t even said anything yet; how did you know?”
Boyfriend: “This is a Lifetime movie, and he has a penis.”
"Lifetime hasn’t revealed the source of the script material, but that Sharon Murphy was not consulted, nor cooperated with the production in any way. There aren’t enough Leslie Knope NO! gifs to sum up how I feel about a Brittany Murphy biopic. Brittany Murphy was a beautiful collagen-lipped butterscotch pixie and there is no way Lifetime will do anything but take a giant stinky dump on her memory. Thank god she’s probably too busy teaching a class on adorable giggling to the angels in Heaven to notice that this shit is happening."