History Main / SelfAbuse

* This is discussed in the memoirs of the real-life {{Casanova}} when he makes friends with a Turkish Muslim and they compare attitudes toward sex in their respective religions/cultures. Casanova subscribes to the view that too much masturbation will make you sickly and weak (of course, his solution is to deal with horniness by sleeping with everything that moves and relying on the sacrament of confession to keep you out of hell) while Yusuf says that obviously "too much" of anything is bad by definition, but there's nothing wrong with masturbation per se, and that anyway it's a completely unenforceable rule. They also talk about male vs. female masturbation, with Casanova saying that girls don't run the same risk as boys because they're not losing a bodily fluid every time they do it.

* [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_177_if-old-wives-tales-turned-out-to-be-true_p19/#12 Parodied by]] {{Cracked}}, as can be expected.

->''"Father O'Flanagan he was there
->And in the corner sat
->Amusing himself by abusing himself
->And catching it in his hat."''

* In ''PoliceAcademy2'', the disgruntled prankster recruit Mahoney swaps the overbearing [[DrillSergeantNasty man in charge of recruit training]]'s shampoo with fast-curing helmet repair epoxy. This has the desired effect of Supergluing the victim's hands to his head. When he finally manages to get his hands free, they are naturally covered with hair. When he asks a group of recruits if anyone can explain how this happened, Mahoney replies, "I can, sir. And if you don't stop, you'll go blind."

[[folder: Anime and Manga]]

* In the hentai manga ''Bust to Bust'', one of the girls is enough of a nymphomaniac that she can't stop diddling herself when her boyfriend isn't around. She's also [[CloudCuckooLander kinda crazy]], which leads him to claim "I guess masturbation really does melt your brain. Better not report this to any scientific institutions..."

[[/folder]]

* ''Demonophobia'' has a lust-related level where the boss will force the protagonist to masturbate endlessly while it's hiding around. Unless you push a certain button to make her stop, Sakuri will ''die'' from it, though the process is very slow.

* ''{{Demonophobia}}'' has a lust-related level where the boss will force the protagonist to masturbate endlessly while it's hiding around. Unless you push certain button to make her stop, Sakuri will ''die'' from it, though the process is very slow.

Mostly a DiscreditedTrope we have [[OutgrownSuchSillySuperstitions outgrown]]. While certain Jewish and Christian groups still do frown on male masturbation because of the story of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan Onan]] in the Old Testament, the idea that masturbation could cause actual, physical harm came from the VictorianEra in the UK and the beginnings of the wholesomeness movement in the US. These were the days of MoralGuardians like U.S. postmaster Anthony Comstock and Boy Scouts founder Lord Baden-Powell, who believed that children indulging in "Secret Practices" would waste away their youth and vigor, and scores of ministers whose most lasting innovations in hygiene turned out to be [[http://www.snopes.com/food/origins/grahamcrackers.asp Graham crackers]] and Kellogg's Corn Flakes.

Mostly a DiscreditedTrope we have [[OutgrownSuchSillySuperstitions outgrown]]; times have changed since the days of MoralGuardians like U.S. postmaster Anthony Comstock and Boy Scouts founder Lord Baden-Powell, who believed that children indulging in "Secret Practices" would waste away their youth and vigor, and scores of ministers whose most lasting innovations in hygiene turned out to be [[http://www.snopes.com/food/origins/grahamcrackers.asp Graham crackers]] and Kellogg's Corn Flakes.

* One episode of ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'' features Stan showing his son, Steve, an [[CrowningMomentOfFunny admittedly hilarious]] anti-masturbation propaganda film that ends with a boy growing hair on his palms and his eyes melting out. The kid turns up later in Stan's head and says something along the lines of "It was worth it."

* ''MysteryScienceTheater3000'', "Body Care and Grooming": "And remember, when you touch yourself, the saints cry. Good night."

* In an episode of ''TheGoodies'', Graeme is training rabbits in preparation of sending them into space.

* In one of the ''PoliceAcademy'' movies, the disgruntled prankster recruit Mahoney swaps the overbearing [[DrillSergeantNasty man in charge of recruit training]]'s shampoo with fast-curing helmet repair epoxy. This has the desired effect of Supergluing the victim's hands to his head. When he finally manages to get his hands free, they are naturally covered with hair. When he asks a group of officers how this happened, Mahoney replies, "I do, sir. And if you don't stop doing that, you could go blind."

* One episode of AmericanDad features Stan showing his son, Steve, an [[CrowningMomentOfFunny admittedly hilarious]] anti-masturbation propaganda film that ends with a boy growing hair on his palms and his eyes melting out. The kid turns up later in Stan's head and says something along the lines of "It was worth it."

[[ADateWithRosiePalms Masturbation]] portrayed as being bad for you, possibly making you go blind or grow hair on your palms.

[[folder: Video Games ]]

* ''LunarSilverStarStoryComplete'' for the PS1 had a part where the lights go out and leave the party blind. Kyle says "I can't see! I'm blind! But I thought that was only a myth!" to which Nall replies "What do you mean? The cave went dark!" Jessica says "Trust me, Nall, you DON'T want to know what he's talking about."
* ''{{Demonophobia}}'' has a lust-related level where the boss will force the protagonist to masturbate endlessly while it's hiding around. Unless you push certain button to make her stop, Sakuri will ''die'' from it, though the process is very slow.

* There are plenty of jokes about how parents will lecture their children about masturbation and its negative consequences. One gem we heard a lot in school was about a dad who tells his son to stop masturbating or he will go blind... and his son then tells him that he is looking in the wrong direction and that he is standing over here, implying that the dad can't see well as a result of him masturbating too.

* One episode of AmericanDad features Stan showing his son, Steve, an [[CrowningMomentOfFunny admittedly hilarious]] anti-masturbation propaganda film that ends with a boy growing hair on his palms and his eyes melting out.

* ''{{Demonophopia}}'' has a lust-related level where the boss will force the protagonist to masturbate endlessly while it's hiding around. Unless you push certain button to make her stop, Sakuri will ''die'' from it, though the process is very slow.

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[[AC:{{Literature}}]]

* Doctor Crombie, eponymous character in Graham Greene's short story, expounds that cancer is a result of masturbation... More accurately, he claims it is a cause of "playing with oneself", the euphemism giving rise to humour. The central theme of the story is to demonstrate the folly of conflating correlation and causation: "Almost one hundred per cent of those who died of cancer had practised sex".

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[[AC:Jokes]]
* There are plenty of jokes about how parents will lecture their children about masturbation and its negative consequences. One gem we heard a lot in school was about a dad who tells his son to stop masturbating or he will go blind... and his son then tells him that he is looking in the wrong direction and that he is standing over here, implying that the dad can't see well as a result of him masturbating too.
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A mostly DiscreditedTrope; times have changed since the days of MoralGuardians like U.S. postmaster Anthony Comstock and Boy Scouts founder Lord Baden-Powell, who believed that children indulging in "Secret Practices" would waste away their youth and vigor, and scores of ministers whose most lasting innovations in hygiene turned out to be [[http://www.snopes.com/food/origins/grahamcrackers.asp Graham crackers]] and Kellogg's Corn Flakes.