History Main / SelfAbuse

10th Feb '18 6:38:18 PM JackG
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* In the ParodyFic ''Hardcore Entertainment presents "Seven Does Voyager"'', Seven of Nine records the sex between B'Elanna Torres and Tom Paris and broadcasts it to stunt the growth of potential enemies of Voyager. This also explains why [[CelibateHero Captain Janeway]] is shorter than other starship captains.
10th Feb '18 6:27:55 PM JackG
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->"They have a weapon that [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey turns soldier's brains to mush]]," said Kotay. "An army of beautiful naked cyborg girls."\\

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->"They -->"They have a weapon that [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey turns soldier's brains to mush]]," said Kotay. "An army of beautiful naked cyborg girls."\\


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* A mock advertisement in ''Captain Proton and the Planet of Lesbians'' promotes Kellogg's Corn Flakes as stopping boys from masturbating so they'll grow up tall and handsome like Captain Proton.
10th Feb '18 6:25:21 PM JackG
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"Well, tell your men to pull themselves together!"\\

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"Well, tell your men to [[GetAHoldOfYourselfMan pull themselves together!"\\together!]]"\\


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* In the 1982 satire ''Wrong Is Right'', an analysis of the Middle Eastern dictator lists "chronic masturbator" [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking among his many evils]].
10th Feb '18 6:22:00 PM JackG
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[[folder:Fan Works]]
* From ''Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space''.
->"They have a weapon that [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey turns soldier's brains to mush]]," said Kotay. "An army of beautiful naked cyborg girls."\\
"Well, tell your men to pull themselves together!"\\
"That's what they're doing. Half the division has already gone blind."
[[/folder]]
10th Feb '18 6:20:03 PM JackG
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* Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in...''[[Film/TheTerminator The Masturbator]]''. Half man...half blind.

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* Arnold Schwarzenegger Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger stars in...''[[Film/TheTerminator The Masturbator]]''. [[HollywoodCyborg Half man...man]]...half blind.blind!
10th Feb '18 6:15:50 PM JackG
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* In the 1980 sci-fi comedy ''Galaxina'', TheCaptain of the space cruiser on which the eponymous RobotGirl serves strongly discourages [[RoboSexual having sex with a robot]] because you could go blind. They shouldn't have built Galaxina to resemble the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_Stratten 1980 Playmate of the Year]] then, because as she's the only female on the ship the crew would go blind either way.

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* In the 1980 sci-fi comedy ''Galaxina'', TheCaptain of the space cruiser on which the eponymous RobotGirl serves strongly discourages [[RoboSexual having sex with a robot]] because you could go blind. They shouldn't have built Galaxina to resemble the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_Stratten 1980 Playmate of the Year]] then, because as she's the only female on the ship [[ADateWithRosiePalms the crew would go blind either way.way]].
10th Feb '18 6:14:24 PM JackG
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* In the 1980 sci-fi comedy ''Galaxina'', TheCaptain of the space cruiser on which the eponymous RobotGirl serves strongly discourages [[RoboRomance having sex with a robot]] because you could go blind. They shouldn't have built Galaxina to resemble the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_Stratten 1980 Playmate of the Year]] then, because as she's the only female on the ship the crew would go blind either way.

to:

* In the 1980 sci-fi comedy ''Galaxina'', TheCaptain of the space cruiser on which the eponymous RobotGirl serves strongly discourages [[RoboRomance [[RoboSexual having sex with a robot]] because you could go blind. They shouldn't have built Galaxina to resemble the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_Stratten 1980 Playmate of the Year]] then, because as she's the only female on the ship the crew would go blind either way.
10th Feb '18 6:12:01 PM JackG
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* In the 1980 sci-fi comedy ''Galaxina'', TheCaptain of the space cruiser on which the eponymous RobotGirl serves strongly discourages [[RoboRomance having sex with a robot]] because you could go blind. They shouldn't have built Galaxina to resemble the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_Stratten 1980 Playmate of the Year]] then, because as she's the only female on the ship the crew would go blind either way.
31st Aug '17 2:05:09 PM angie710
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* On ''Series/AdamRuinsEverything'', Adam explains that this idea that masturbation is evil is what popularized the practice of (non-medical and non-religious) circumcision, mostly in the US. This was popularized back in the Victorian Era by doctors and non-doctors, including the inventor of corn flakes: it was thought that by paring away the foreskin, it would reduce a boy's sex drive and urge to masturbate, or at the very least make it unpleasant. Oh, and it wasn't just done to ''boys'', either. Many girls were also given clitoridectomies, or had their clitorises ''deliberately'' burned with acid for the same reason. (Sometimes under the guise of treatment for or prevention of [[HystericalWoman hysteria]].)
4th Aug '17 9:33:15 PM Kingler
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* Parodied on ''{{Seinfeld}}'' in "The Puffy Shirt"; George, an [[NewJobAsThePlotDemands aspiring hand model]], learns that one of the most famous models in the industry ruined his career with his masturbation habit; his hands became gnarled into ''claws''!
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