The biggest problem with this fic isn't the story, which isn't anything really special, but isn't all that bad either. It's the little things. Starting with "James Pathertrory" that's how he spells the name. And as an alias it's an annoyance that will continue throughout the story. Weird spelling doesn't stop there, the fic is littered with spelling errors and grammar mistakes and dialogue that sounds flat out unnatural. Even "James Pathertrory's" characterization is nothing like that of Harry potter. None of these by itself is a game breaker, but they keep adding up and more and more keep appearing until the story is basically unreadable.
It's the little things that kill you
The biggest problem with this fic isn't the story, which isn't anything really special, but isn't all that bad either. It's the little things. Starting with "James Pathertrory" that's how he spells the name. And as an alias it's an annoyance that will continue throughout the story. Weird spelling doesn't stop there, the fic is littered with spelling errors and grammar mistakes and dialogue that sounds flat out unnatural. Even "James Pathertrory's" characterization is nothing like that of Harry potter. None of these by itself is a game breaker, but they keep adding up and more and more keep appearing until the story is basically unreadable.