Reviews Literature / Twilight

Bella is the final nail in the coffin of horribleness

Book 1 Let me start out by saying that there is virtually nothing good about Twilight. The characters are all cardboard cutouts without any interesting traits. The writing style is ametuer and there is WAY too much filler and purple prose. Most of the book is focused on nothing important to the plot, it's either the characters doing mundane, everyday things or the narrator going on about how hot Edward is. There's very little true conflict going on. As readers we have this informed conflict that there's some "forbidden romance" going on, yet there aren't many people actively trying to keep Bella and Edward apart. The whole thing reads like a wish-fullfillment fantasy: the main character is perfect and loved by everyone, she gets a hot supernatural boyfriend and everything works out for her. It's just awful, really.

But all of this, these many, many, many flaws, aren't what really make me hate Twilight. All of that can be tolerated, if the book didn't have one thing: It's Bella. The narrator. She is just one of the WORST characters I've ever come across in literature, movies, and other media. She is just a horrible, horrible person. Where do I begin? For starters, she's incredibly whiny. I wanted to put the book down within the first chapter because she was already bitching about nothing. Second, she's incredibly bland. She has few personality traits, at least not good or interesting ones, and with nothing interesting, funny, or thought-provoking to say, she's a poor choice for a narrator. Third, she's just a shallow, mean person. She's constantly judging people based on their appearance, and she's quick to leave her "dorky" human friends behind when she starts hanging out with the attractive vampires. (I'm convinced she has Histrionic Disorder. Look it up, she seriously displays many of the symptoms) What makes this all especially jarring, though, is that no one calls her out on it. What's more, people LOVE her. She's immediately popular in her new school, and she's the first girl that a vampire found himself attracted to in a hundred years. I find it hard to believe that this shallow, whiny bitch is so popular and loved.

All in all, Twilight is a terrible book and only exists as an example on how NOT to write a good book. I strongly suggest avoiding it.