This idea has potential, but... it's squandered and crushed beneath the load of trying to include characters from every single story in the recursive fanfictions.
Gene and Belle... are honestly not that interesting, because every bit of dialogue between the two is at Tastes Like Diabetes level of schmaltzy. Can't go a sentence without these characters assuring each other of their love.
I think the main issue IS how romance has taken up the bulk of the story, or rather, how it's focused less on the adjustment of Pokemon in the world and more on the conflict between old-world law enforcement -which has no authority- and Equestria.
Part of what rubs me the wrong way about this is... it reminds me of an episode of Fillmore, in which some visiting student had and abused diplomatic immunity and was getting away with so much.
And then there's the bashing... There are characters included just to be bashed and tormented, and people laugh at it because 'it's just X'.
Honestly, one of the most interesting aspects of the story WAS the character Abby, but she's quickly nosediving for me, particularly when one of the later chapters, after her mentioned chewing out from her boss, is her trying -and succeeding- to get an agreeing opinion on her cursing habits.
This character caused extreme, painful nerve sensetivity to a mare that lasted a week, and then forced a fandom-hated character to hear every negative thought about him because he called her an 'animal'.
... Had this been some no-name background pony, or someone like Octavia, would any of these fans of this be laughing?
Agreed with the previous reviewer.
This idea has potential, but... it's squandered and crushed beneath the load of trying to include characters from every single story in the recursive fanfictions.
Gene and Belle... are honestly not that interesting, because every bit of dialogue between the two is at Tastes Like Diabetes level of schmaltzy. Can't go a sentence without these characters assuring each other of their love.
I think the main issue IS how romance has taken up the bulk of the story, or rather, how it's focused less on the adjustment of Pokemon in the world and more on the conflict between old-world law enforcement -which has no authority- and Equestria.
Part of what rubs me the wrong way about this is... it reminds me of an episode of Fillmore, in which some visiting student had and abused diplomatic immunity and was getting away with so much.
And then there's the bashing... There are characters included just to be bashed and tormented, and people laugh at it because 'it's just X'.
Honestly, one of the most interesting aspects of the story WAS the character Abby, but she's quickly nosediving for me, particularly when one of the later chapters, after her mentioned chewing out from her boss, is her trying -and succeeding- to get an agreeing opinion on her cursing habits.
This character caused extreme, painful nerve sensetivity to a mare that lasted a week, and then forced a fandom-hated character to hear every negative thought about him because he called her an 'animal'.
... Had this been some no-name background pony, or someone like Octavia, would any of these fans of this be laughing?
Again, nice idea... not so much on the execution.