All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread

Perfect World

“I… I submit!” Poyo cried, falling on her back, panting hard.

Yue leaned over her. “See? It’s not a perfect world. Otherwise, I couldn’t give you a better orgasm than one you’ve had there.”

Poyo’s head lolled back in surrender. “Y-yes… I see that Kosmo Entelekhia’s plans were flawed. I… I will help you…”

Yue nodded curtly.

There was a pause. 

“Can I have another one, please?” Poyo begged.

Yue smiled in that small, Yue way of hers, licked her lips and obliged…

........................................

Descendant Habits

“ASUNA KICK!” 

The door to the final room smashed open, and Asuna came rushing in, sword in hand. 

“All right you time-traveling bitches!” she cried, pointing with her weapon. “Get away from Negi and… Yue, why are you naked?”

Yue gave her a flat look from where she was lying down on top of Ranko, Nodoka’s daughter from the future forming one figure of a certain two-digit number divisible by 3. “What does it look like?”

Amaterasu, Tsukuyomi’s illegitimate time-traveling daughter, said, “Negi-papa is with Chibi-Asu, Chibi-Arika and Arika,” she said, pointing towards the dror to the next room. 

Asuna’s eyebrow twitched. She stormed into the next room.

“NEGI!” they heard her scream. “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING TO MY DAUGHTER, YOUR DAUGHTER BY YOUR MOTHER, AND YOUR MOTHER’S NAMESAKE BY SETSUNA WITHOUT ME?”

Nasu smiled at the audience. “Notice how she says ‘without me’?” She waved. “A big thanks to Darkenning-sama for his inspiratation!”

Beneath her, Illyria and Nikuro looked at her. “Who are you talking to?” Illyria asked. 

"Youngsters nowadays..." Nakajima Genya sighed, lying flat on his back.

"Yes..." Takamachi Shiro panted, gathering his strength back up. "Then again, it's not like we're in any right to talk. We're going along with it, after all..."

"Hey, it was your daughter's idea," the commander replied.

"Yours was too fast to support it!" the former bodyguard countered.

Resting between them, her legs spreaded, Lindy hummed. "Well. If there's something my years of military service taught me, it's there's no low we humans won't sink down to. But it's better to take it in stride. Ready, Chrono-kun?"

The boy nodded and gasped, straddling the woman's lap warily and grabbing her hips with some residual shyness. "Y-Yes, Captain! Are you...?"

Subaru giggled, crawling over her gulping father. "She looks that way from here! Hey, Nanoha-san! We trade places after this, don't we?"

"Sounds good," Nanoha smiled, getting herself comfortable over Shiro's lower body. "But what about Chrono-kun?"

Chrono already was huffing, bouncing up and down in a steady rhythm, grabbing onto his mother's also bouncy, bountiful round breasts, his eyes nearly rolling back into his head. "Don't... worry about me. I think... I'll go for a... repeat with Mother... right after this..."

"That's... my boy..." Lindy purred, running a hand through his hair, then pulling on it, making him moan.

Fate finished stripping down and sighed while sitting on Shiro's face. "Perhaps it'd have been for the best if I had stayed in that fantasy the Book of Darkness made for me..." she mused regretfully, even as his tongue began to caress her private folds, making her skin to crawl all over.

But then Nanoha leaned ahead and claimed her lips, and all protests were forgotten.

Elsewhere at the hills, Yuuno sighed and sat down around the campfire with Chamo and Gandalf. "It's spreading..." he reported ruefully.

Teana took a nearby spot, fingering her guns angrily. "Not fair... Rainbows were supposed to be straighter than her... I'm going to kill that lousy Over-Bum..."

The Joker pushed Yuuno aside and sat down as well, pulling out some marshmallows to roast. "No matter what happens, they'll never get me alive..."

A long, long happy squeal rent the air.

A minute later, Illya ran past, an ecstatically happy Kuro in pursuit.

"Come back, 'onee-chan'!" Kuro cried happily, waving around the script. "Look, it's in the script and everything!"

"I don't care!" Illya cried.

"But it says we also have to do it with Shiro-oniichan!"

Illya came to an abrupt halt. "Well, if the script says it must be so, it must be so!" Illya declared dramatically. "The show must go on!"

Nanoha clapped her hands together. "Ah, it's so nice to see family getting along and bonding," she said obliviously. "Just like how Kyouya-niichan and Miyuki-neechan always hang out together, doing exercise..."

Fate raised an eyebrow. "Exercise?" she said disbelievingly.

"Well, when they're done, they're always tired and sweaty..." Nanoha said. "What else could it be?"

Fate sighed. "And there doesn't seem to be any chance Shiro-san is my dad..."

Someone tugged on Fate's cape. She turned.

"Fate-imouto..." Alicia said, the younger loli holding up her copy of the script.

Fate drooped some more. "Oh yeah, you're in this story too... I forget..."

Alicia pouted. "Imouto-chan! What a mean thing to say to your big sister!" Her green cloak appeared as she tapped into her Spectre-ness. "Naughty-naughty, Fate-chan... you must be... punished..."

Sakura blinked. "Really Tomoyo?"

Tomoyo nodded, smiling her saintly, mysterious smile©. "It's a bit obscure, but apparently, we're cousins, so according to the script, we have to join in."

Sakura frowned. "Join in what?"

Tomoyo whispered in her ear. Sakura's eyes went wide, and steam began to blow from her ears. "'HOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"

Negi sweatdropped. "I thought this was supposed to be my fic..."

Asuna and Chao shuffled. "Well, I would, but i have character development to do first..." Asuna said.

Chao coughed. "I sorta already have my eye on another girl..."

"DADDY!" Tsukuyomi cried, running holding a roll of duct tape, and lubricant.

The Joker kept running. "Sorry, Cutey Pie!" he called a back. "But even THIS evil has standards!" And so he ran to join Tea, Gandalf, Yuuno, Chamo and other Joker at the campfire.

"'Sup," he said.

"'Sup," Joker said. "S'mores?"

"Don't mind if I do."

Ichigo lay back panting, hazy eyes looking over at his father. "...Was that really what mother would have wanted us to do?"

On his other side, Grand Fisher (thankfully not in the form of a furred abomination of nature) in Masaki Kurosaki's form drew a slow finger over her son's cheek. "You don't know how sure I am," she purred. At the foot of the bed, Karin and Yuzu smiled gently and snuggled together, looking far too innocent in sleep for what they'd just done.

In the next bed over, Isane Kotetsu was rocking gently from side to side while whimpering. Her sister, Kiyone Kotetsu, bare as the day she was... reincarnated?... placed a worrying hand on her shoulder. "Hey, what's wrong? Wasn't it good for you?"

Isane looked more than a little terrified. "What's Unohana-taichou gonna do when she finds out I was unfaaaaithfuuuul?", she wailed and threw herself into the arms of her sister, who purred and stroked her back.

"Oh, sis, I'm sure I can make you forget about that for another hour..."

Uryu grasped his left shoulder with a wince. "Oi, Ryuuken, can you see what's wrong with my arm? It... feels like it's about to come off..."

Ryuuken lit a second cigarrette and placed it into his mouth alongside the ever-present first one. "Uryu: shut up, stop making obscure fandom jokes and take five minutes to recove. I haven't finished your checkup yet..."

Orihime sighed and shifted so that her voluminous breasts weren't being squished against the mattress anymore. "And here I'd hoped that the author'd forgotten about you, nii-san." Sora Inoue poked his mask and tried to say something completely in-character and situationally appropriate, but failed on account of being a Hollow.

Orihime peered at the fourth wall. "...Then did I just sleep with a cannibalistic monster with no visual genitalia?"

The author chooses to focus the brainpower required to answer this question into remembering other familial relationships.

"Pah. Like your fellow authors will even choose to acknowledge this story. The plot died ages ago, and their dislike for our story is quite justified," Aizen smirked as he placed a possessive hand on a gasping Ulquiorra's bare chest.

"...What the hell are you doing here, you hack?" Mayuri snapped, annoyed from being distracted from his current experiment, viz, check how Nemu would respond to stimuli of all kinds. "You don't even have a distant cousin in canon!"

Aizen smirked again. "How long have you been under the impression that—"

He was cut off by virtue of being hit in the face by a sock, thrown with expert decision by Kuukaku. Said woman immediately returned to grinning sadistically at her brother, who lay spreadeagled beneath her. "Now then, brother, how many times does the next round make it, all up?"

Ganju looked up panickedly. "You know I can't count past fifty, sis!"

Chad only looked at his transformed clawlike hand and wondered if masturbation still counted if the spirit of a family member was apparently in the arm used for the deed.

Meanwhile, Hisana and Rukia slowly tiptoed out of the room, trying to avoid dectection before—

"Dammit," Rukia grumbled. "He noticed us."

"It was to be expected, little sister," sighed Hisana, even as another bed popped into existence just for them.

Rukia threw a loaded glance at Byakuya. "Oi, Nii-sama, why aren't you joining in?"

The collected noble sipped from a teacup. "I have no on-screen relations."

"I call you Nii-sama. That means Brother, for goodness' sakes!"

One elegant index finger rose up. "Not blood siblings."

"Frigging copout," Szayel groaned from the corner.

Tatsuki sat down next to Gandalf, Yuuno, Chamo, Joker, Tea and other Joker around the campfire.

They all looked at her.

"...He's going to do Naruto next, isn't he?"

She could only nod, rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

"Well, none of us is related to the others..." Tomo scratched her head.

"Or has any on screen siblings or parents..." Kagura nodded.

"Do I count?" Chiyo-chichi appeared right behind Chiyo.

"HELL NO!" Yomi quickly pushed him offscreen.

"We're so lucky," Nyamo sighed.

"Hey, where's Yukari-sensei?" Tomo asked her.

The teacher shrugged. "She said she was going to her parents' apartment to... check on something..."

"Well, who's up for a visit to the fair, then?" Yomi smiled.

"Yay, fair..." Osaka said with a vacant smile, looking up from her decidedly decadent doodlings.

"We don't even have to worry about Yukari-sensei's driving! Man, this is a great day!" Kagura laughed.

"Sakaki-san...!" Kaorin clung to her crush's legs. "I'm your long lost twin sister!"

Tomo crassly slapped her away. "No, you aren't!"

Kimura-sensei then hovered over Kaorin's frame, holding a few documents up. "KA-O-RIIIIIN! The blood tests are up! KI-MU-RIN IS YOUR REAL FATHEEEER!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"... What's this all about?" Chiyo asked innocently.

"Nothing. Just move along," Yomi gently pushed her ahead of herself, and away.