ITT: We are our avatars.

Third Trial

Igno had a very, very stupid idea. And as it turned out, that incredibly stupid idea was turning directly towards the tank. Igno was betting on its lack of maneuverability and lack of turret to board the tank and dispose of its crew.

"Boarding raid? Haven't done one of those in a long time! Count me in!"

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."

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Vivian shrugs as Igno starts speeding his way towards the tank head-on. "You boys just make sure you don't die" she quips as she motions for Igno to let her take the wheel.

The Chadmobile is able to drive quickly given that the tank is almost but not quite finished turning. A few bolts of lightning come flying out the front of the tank, but they achieve little but increasing the ozone in the sky and kicking up clouds of dirt. Echoes of profanity fill the air as the driver realizes that he might not be able to catch either Igno nor Mitch like this. It seems this is your best shot right now

We Are Our Avatars Forever (Now on Discord by invitation, PM)

Third Trial

The Chadmobile turned incredibly fast with respect to the giant kill-tank. It launched bolts of lightning seemingly in impotent fury, and Mitch held himself steady until he was close enough to throw himself out of the Chadmobile and towards the enemy tank.

He knew this wouldn't be easy. But it was a hell of a lot better of a choice than trying to fight that guy while he was driving, that was for sure.

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."

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"Gotcha, keep the seat warm for me!" Igno said as he made room for Vivian to take the wheel by opening the driver's door and hanging off the side of the monster truck, leaping onto the tank as soon as they drove close enough, wasting no time in climbing the threaded giant and looking for a hatch or anything of the sort.

Edited by FokiasTheJester on Jul 29th 2019 at 9:30:33 PM

Third Trial

Mitch and Igno hurl themselves at the huge tank...and succeed in landing. They're both pretty experienced at this stuff. Igno does spy a hatch. But he would want to hurry. Electricity sparks are popping on the top of the tank. Electric shots are going straight up and flying right over your heads, getting closer. Somehow, the idiot driving it is actually shooting through the tank itself to get at you. He also seems to be trying to turn to run over Vivian, who's yelling with excitement as she takes the wheel of the monster truck.

We Are Our Avatars Forever (Now on Discord by invitation, PM)

Third Trial

Igno hurriedly climbed up to the hatch, moving as fast as he could to make sure the tank's driver wouldn't be able to get a shot on him. Rather than wasting time trying to just open the hatch in the vain hope that it was unlocked, or trying to pry it open, the shapeshifter went straight for the big guns, turning his hand into a massive claw that made the Jaws of Life look like a pair of office scissors.

"Please tell me you've got something to toss in there!" Igno asked as he got to work on cutting open an entrance.

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Mitch followed Igno as he scrambled up the side of the tank. There wasn't much time - lightning was arcing through the air in every way it possibly could, and the tank was clearly warming up its anti-infantry defenses.

"I've got a few options!" yelled Mitch over the din as Igno started slicing through the vehicle's armor. "How much boom do you want?"

Edited by SpartyMcFly on Aug 10th 2019 at 3:36:27 PM

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."

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"Depends! Do you want to drive away with that thing?" Igno asked with a smirk.

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For a moment, Mitch was tempted to say no, just for the hell of it. But then he realized; it'd be a hell of a lot cooler to drive this back to Nether Vegas. And that was why you did things, right? Not because they were easy.

"Frag grenade, then?"

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."

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"If you want the driver splatted all over the inside, sure! Otherwise, just go for something non-lethal, I'll drag'em out of there...!"

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As Igno starts to make his own entrance, they both hear a deep rumbling roar. Something like a very dramatic shout of "YOU" mixed with the rumbling of a storm cloud. In fact, a storm cloud is gathering right above the area with the amount of electricity being pumped out continously. If you had to guess, your rather creative and wild plan to abscond with an actual tank might have struck a negative chord with the god Jupiter...but then again, this is Jupiter. If you cared about his opinion, you wouldn't be out here, would you?

We Are Our Avatars Forever (Now on Discord by invitation, PM)

Third Trial

Meanwhile, a copse of tree sized green sphere lollipops has sprouted on or near the track (with this kind of race its hard to tell where the boundary is). What appears to be a black rabbit with emerald eyes is sitting on top of one of them as if this was perfectly natural.

This is Cheri, a.k.a Cheerful Rabbit Interface, a personable AI program in the shape of a rabbit that has somehow been imbued with divine sourced powers around cheerfulness and confectionary.

It was heading towards the race because it sensed an unusual flavour of joy, but it had become distracted by what appeared to be a sapient level of fear and confusion coming from a cat. "Cats..." Cheri thinks. "They climb trees to escape danger right? Well I can't do trees but the next best thing that I can do..." and thus, green lollipops.

Waiting to see what happens with dogs and cat is going to keep Cheri from the race, but it'd be rude not to introduce itself. They have vehicles so it's not unreasonable they have comms...so it accesses its built in radio and broadcasts on all likely frequencies: "Helloo~!" in a slightly artificial voice that's so cheerful anyone listening can practically taste the smile.

It just is what it is

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Just as she sends out the transmission, a strange vehicle equipped with a turret, ion engines, and an emblem that says:CDISF comes out of a crack in spacetime.A sound of confusion and anger comes out of the cabin, followed by arguing.

You told us this would be the right dimension! Instead, I received a transmission that sounded like Caroline on a sugar high, and- Hey, it's not my fault! You don't have to be livid just because the computer miscalculated! Honestly, the nerve...

intense dutchie calls*

Hey Echo, good to meet you, but could you please stop by the discussion thread for a quick chat before you post further?

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Storm clouds began to roll in, thunder in the sound of English - the crystallized wrath of God. "Hey, Igno!" Mitch yelled over the din. "I think we pissed off Jupiter!"

Then he withdrew a flashbang grenade. As an electronic voice dripping with sugar blared in through open comms and another vehicle appeared to teleport into existence, Mitch kept his eyes on the prize, unpinned the flashbang, and tossed it through the hole Igno had made into the tank.

Then he switched to an open microphone. "You new folk might want to keep your distance! I mean, unless you like getting hit with a lightning bolt!''

Edited by SpartyMcFly on Aug 24th 2019 at 2:09:48 PM

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."

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Cheri looks at the new vehicle. "Well that doesn't happen every day, hop." it says to itself. It starts searching its data files for "CDISF".

Mitch's transmission causes it to turn its attention to the storm cloud and it tilts its head in puzzlement. That thing doesn't look natural. Where did it come from? Where's it going?

It broadcasts back in response to Mitch: "It can be fun from time to time. I appreciate your concern though! My name is Cheri! Shouldn't you be taking your own advice, hop?"

It just is what it is

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"Well I never was the smartest kid in the class!" Mitch shot back, in the middle of what could be best described as an "active clusterfuck".

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."

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Cheri wasn't sure how well this person knew what they were doing, but they were clearly committed, and under stress. Discarding suggestions about rubber boots as being inappropriate, Cheri instead opted for reassurance.

"Don't worry! According to my data, nine out of ten people survive lightning strikes, so if you have burn medication to hand you'll almost certainly be fine, hop!" transmitted Cheri, deciding to omit what the data said about the state of those survivors.

It just is what it is

Kaiji hears the rumbling outside and decides to wildly mash buttons until the tank stops. "i just hope this wont get me shocked" he comments aloud

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"Eh, suit's got a few conductors in it. I should be fine so long as lightning doesn't strike twice! Which, in this place? It very well might!"

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."

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"Even in this place, that's unlikely unless magic is involved, hop!"

It just is what it is

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"Come on, man, don't jinx me!"

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."

Meanwhile, Igno was too busy watching the sudden gathering of clouds in the middle of the Mojave to pay any attention to the flashbang Mitch threw down the hatch, or the newcomer. His skin shifted around as he grew an exoskeleton of sorts, making himself a makeshift organic Faraday cage to withstand the worst of the divine retribution that loomed over them.

In one last act of defiance, he raised his hand to the sky, pointing accusingly at the forming mass of clouds as he yelled out: "Hey! Don't even think of directly intervening, you bloody cheater!"

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The storm cloud has been growing bigger and bigger ever since it showed up, menacingly glowing and generating horrifying green static electricity, like a cobra willing to strike. As it glows and reaches its apex, probably primed to zap all the people standing on top of the massive tank, including the unfortunate newcomers...the moment Igno scolds it, it disappears with a very undramatic *poit*, leaving the skies clear once more...well, aside from the usual dust in the desert. Can't get rid of that.

Now, most men would attribute this kind of happy circumstance to the intervention of a kind and loving god shielding you from your woes. Some magicians might say it was a powerful wind magic cast by an unseen mentor figure attempting to guide you in your righteous quest. Some cynics might say that this was the universe withholding its greatest weapon and is only planning a far messier demise for you. Still more optimistic men would attribute it to Igno's sheer charisma and adherence to the rules of fair play made the cloud so ashamed it fled to recover from this dishonor.

...Mitch is likely one of the few people who could cite the real cause, considering he was one of the few close enough to that hole to hear the flashbang go off and the subsequent scream of agony and curses from the now-blinded driver of the tank. His sudden blindness and temper tantrum causes the tank to effectively grind to a halt as he's let go of the gas. It kind of just sits there like a beached whale, just a bit aways from the burned wreckage of the downed helicopter. Kaiji and Vivian, far below in comparatively smaller vehicles, are definitely safe from being squished now.

Congratulations, folks. You have successfully subdued 1x Shagohad driver...for now.

Edited by Raidouthe21st on Oct 1st 2019 at 1:29:01 PM

We Are Our Avatars Forever (Now on Discord by invitation, PM)

Third Trial

"... I can't believe that worked!" Igno exclaimed as the sky suddenly cleared, the massive tank grinding to a halt. He looked down into the mangled hatch, peering to get a glimpse of the driver and make sure he was well and truly disabled for now.

"Should we, uh, give'em a ride back into town?"

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Cheri observes the vanishing thundercloud with no apparent reaction but is left in no doubt that this was not a natural phenomenon.

"Looks like you're safe!" it transmits cheerily. "Was it magic after all, hop?"

It just is what it is