ITT: We are our avatars.

Zane: "Bingo."

Blue: Hmmmm. On the one hand, that kind of stuff is certainly bad. On the other hand, he isn't actually doing any stealing right now. Is he at least a destructive thief? >.>

Zane looked like he was deep in thought. More deep in thought than a guy who routinely accidentally blows up motorcycles should look, anyways.

Zane: "That's kind of a tricky question, to be honest. He tend to get violent when angels and demons get in the same place, I know that much. Humankind gets caught in the middle of the crossfire whenever that happens. But left to his own devices, I'm not sure if that label would apply. Does that make sense?"

Blue: I think I see what you're saying. So as long as there's no angels around, he won't start going crazy?

Zane nods.

Zane: "I think so, yeah. I don't know how all this heaven and hell stuff works, or why they're fighting with each other. Most of the time I ride up on my motorcycle to find a demon and angel fighting each other in some battle royal and I'm like 'Hey, could you not do this in the middle of a school zone?', and then we all throw our coolest moves at each other. Then they say something cryptic like 'We will meet again' and then I go back to goofing off with my friends. Probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but that's how things tend to work."

Blue: Sounds a lot what I did in highschool. Usually the chemistry lab was blowing up a lot more though.

Zane: "Whoa, really? My highschool was pretty boring."

Mammon: "I wasn't going to say anything, but you guys are like ten feet away from me. I kind of heard everything you just said."

Zane: "Wait, really? I guess I was too in The Zone to notice."

Mammon: "...? What does that even mean? Look, do either of you want to play a game? Nobody seems to be any good here and I'm kind of bored."

Blue: ...I didn't even know how far a foot was to judge. >.>

Well, sure, why not? A game sounds fun about now.

Mammon: "Neat! So what do you want to play? Blackjack, poker, uh..."

Mammon looks over some peculiar prompts on the card table.

"Virtual reality? I guess that's a thing too."

Blue: Virtual reality? That is much more my speed.

Mammon: "Very well! Let's begin."

After poking a button on the card table, they end up in a a strange digital void. Several game titles flew across their vision randomly, until it eventually stopped on one: Chess Battle. Blue and Mammon were transported to a battlefield where they got to overlook some living chess pieces standing on the board.

Mammon: "Chess? Well crap, this isn't the sort of game I usually play. I mean, people don't have high stakes chess matches of all things. Oh well, guess that's what the roulette picked. Ready? I'll let you pick who goes first."

Edited by HilarityEnsues on Sep 13th 2018 at 11:01:36 AM

Blue: Sure. What do the little horsey pieces do again?

Mammon: "That's the Knight. You send them forth into battle to cut people's heads off, I think."

Blue: That sounds super gruesome. But okay! I think I'm ready!

Mammon: "Alright then. I'll let you have the first move."

Blue: Hmmmmm.

Pawn on G2 to G4, please

Blue's pawn moves precisely as she commands.

Mammon: "Hmm... Pawn on D7 to D5."

As does Mammon's.

Mammon: "I wonder why the pieces are alive..."

He wonders this out loud for no particular reason.

Blue: Hmmmm.

Hey, Pawn on G4, if you can hear me, raise your right hand please.

The pawn looks confused, as though wondering what the purpose of such an order is. Nonetheless, they comply.

Blue: Hmmmmm...

White King on D1, tell me if you can hear and address me.

The white king nods.

"Yes I can, my Commander."

Blue: Oh, okay.

In that case, Pawns A2 B2 and C2, move up two spaces ahead.

Once again, the pawns do exactly as commanded.

Mammon: "Hey, wait a minute! That's not a legal move!"

"..."

"Oh... I think I get it now. So that's how this game is played, is it? Very well! Then I will hoard all the moves for myself! D5 to E4!"

Mammon's pawn makes its move, swiftly slashing one of Blue's pawns out of the arena.

"Now... all remaining pawns move forward 2 spaces!"

One pawn moves from B7 to B5, but the remaining black pawns move only one space to avoid getting in range of retaliation from an enemy pawn.

"Eh...? That's not what I said."

The demon floof looks confused.

-There's a strange twinkle in her eyes as Blue gets into it-

Blue: There we go! Thank you for confirming what I'd been suspecting, Mr. Mammon sir!

Pawns on F2 and H2, move up two spaces! All men on the front line, stand your ground and assume a defensive formation!

Blue's orders are enacted without a hitch.

Mammon: "Er..."

Mammon starts to sweat a bit as he comes to a dooming realization... he's not actually very good at chess at all. The games demons play involve rushes of adrenaline, hedonism, and excess. Something as slow paced as chess is something that is totally outside his skillset. But then he remembers one little thing. One simple fator, and begins to cackle.

Mammon: "Ahahaha! I understand it now! These pieces act like humans. That's the point of this game, to appeal to human sentimentality. Humans are motivated by seven primary vices, one of which I happen to embody. One that I have control over. I'm sure you understand what this means, Blue."

With a bit of demonic magic, gigantic hoard of gold appears out of thin air all about the room.

"Attention everyone! Should you win this war, you will be granted wealth beyond your wildest dreams! There is nothing under the sun that will exceed your grasp as long as you lead me to victory. And so I say, take down the enemy king by any means necessary! Your golden kingdom awaits you!"

The positions of Mammon's pieces on the board suddenly become irrelevant as they all charge to slaughter their foe and claim their prize.