Too Many Cooks Spoil The Multiverse: This Is (Not) A Joke

???, Nursery

"You say that the Diet must die, and yet, given your earlier words, you must have some notion of my plans to join the Diet in the first place, via the upcoming tournament being sponsored by Yukari Yakumo. Knowledge gained via a green-eyed psychic, perhaps?" Bondrewd hazarded a guess, tilting his head at the closest Lorem Ipsum and crossing his arms in contemplation. "If matters within the Diet were stable, I might be content merely seizing control of the Draughtsmen and Ship-Scientists and steering maximal resources towards discovering a way off the Ship, but even from the outside, the internal tension in the body is evident. My intent is that they may be steered away from catastrophic infighting, or, if war is inevitable, to join whatever emergent faction provides the greatest chance of Concordia's collective survival. To that end, I might even consider allying with yourself, but you have already stated that you would rather the masses of Concordia be slaves, which may pose a problem."

"Moreover, we do not have to merely take your word regarding the former existence of the Crew or Last Watch. We have Maia's memories to go on, after all," he continued, reaching over to ruffle his daughter's hair. "I should like to know more of them, if you are willing to provide additional detail, whether plainly spoken or in riddles. I am also curious about your solution, however. You say you will attempt it with or without our help, but is your success likely without our aid? I see little reason for you to consider allying with anyone here if you would succeed without assistance."

Zone Four, Warehouse - Areum

I smile at Ichiban. Thankfully it doesn't seem like the others are seriously hurt, and he's summoned one of his familiars to help patch up the others. Or whatever that is. I couldn't really hazard a guess.

But there remains the issue of the rest of the United Front. They present me quite a moral dilemma.

"I know your organization is behind multiple attempts on my life," I say to the strange slug creature and the remaining cloaked United Front members. "And therefore I have all rights to kill all of its members without question for the crime of treason. And as you can clearly see, the ability as well. I'm sure that's what any other member of the Diet would do in my shoes."

Truthfully, that is exactly what I was planning to do until all of five seconds ago, too. I expected to see soldiers ready to lay down their lives for the cause when I came here. But I get the impression that's not quite what's going on here, given the degree of uncertainty they showed to their cause in the moments before my appearance.

"But I'm not going to do that. I've bloodied my hands more than I care to already with this asshole right here. And besides, I'm quitting the Diet anyways. I can't keep lying to myself - they're not going to change. So I need to make a change within myself instead."

I then turn towards Vivy, and listen to her make her pitch.

"Well, I guess you're in luck. We're in agreement when it comes to the Diet's uselessness, so as I said, I'm more than happy to oblige your request to leave it. Miku seems to want to try to make amends, and I've never had any problem with you. So sure, we can play music together. But there does remain one problem - your aforementioned manager, who I am most certainly not on good terms with. I haven't forgotten when Jenny used to threaten me with frivolous lawsuits when I'd do concerts or interrupt them because she was jealous that I was taking attention away from her stars. I may very well retain some sort of solo presence in Concordia's outside of our collaborative efforts, so I'll say this - if she gets in the way of that, we're done. I'll sever all ties with you, Miku and Teto and I'll do everything I can to make her life a living hell. To be able to do music, to perform, is what has kept me sane these 150 years. I'm no longer going to tolerate people who try to take that away from me."

"I will also say that your desire for nonviolent resistance is potentially wishful thinking at this point. The United Front has attempted to assassinate multiple members of government by now. There exists an anger within Concordia that I'm highly doubtful can be truly quelled without the very political structure of Concordia radically changing. But even though I'm not entirely without reservations..."

I sigh.

"I still want to do this, because I still love music. God, I... I've been so upset and hurt coming to terms with the fact that there's just nothing I can do to make the Diet any better. I've been so bitter at how even my freedom to just perform at all was compromised by a jealous woman. Now I just want to move on from all that. Hopefully towards something better."

I shake her hand, a small smile forming on my face.

???, Nursery

"Doctor Bondrewd is right." Amaterasu said, after listening to the Eater's long tirade. "You would not ask for our help unless you knew you would fail on your lonesome. Your false confidence fools no one. Even the worst demons can feel fear. I know this well."

She had seen it, in the tiny eyes of Yami, before it was purged. "You have given us no reason to assist you in any way. You have told us yourself that you will devour us. If you get into the city, what is to stop you from simply consuming everything in sight?"

Amaterasu made no move to fight, but it was clear that she was displeased; her tail slapped angrily against the ground, leaving a faint ink stain.

Barovian Backdoor Special

"Yes, we are," Prushka whispered furtively back to her boyfriend, "I don't really see why... Maybe this is her way of saying we'll be safe if she's nearby...?"

"That is correct," Ran confirmed with a proud whisper of her own, falling in beside the pair, her foxy ears as sensitive as ever, if concealed. "That you are here means that Milady wishes assure you that you have nothing to fear as long as we are here, for you are under our protection. Milady's prowess go without saying, but my own abilities are also quite strong, and even the little one can easily tear apart anything she gets her claws on. There is no way that anything will be able to harm you so long as we are near, and even if something somehow could, we could reverse that harm quite easily! So please, relax and be merry as you normally might! Hmm-hmm!"

"Still, this is a little awkward..." Prushka muttered in resigned, ineffectual complaint as she guided Leo to the bar and hopped up on a stool in front of the bartender.

Maia, Nursery

Maia stood, and stared at the carnage that had once been the Nursery and its inhabitants, at the monster that had once been its inhabitants, as the vibrant blooms withered and burned and screamed. Her bioscanners screaming as one signal overwhelmed all the others.

In the face of this. Horror. Something filtered up through her thoughts. From a deep place, where the light of her conscious thoughts could not reach.

This was wrong.

Lorem Ipsum. He had taken advantage of Pith’s trust, and the team’s curiosity, and used them to destroy Nursery and kill the Bloom.

The screaming had stopped but she had recordings. Perfect recall. She couldn’t stop recalling it.

This was wrong. It was wrong. Why had he done this? Had he consumed them simply because they had not yet been consumed? All their knowledge and perspective, their stories, wasted. Did he not know their value? Did he just not care?

Lorem Ipsum. She couldn’t pull her attention away from him. Even as every point of data about him grated at her thoughts like. Sand in her joints. He was wrong. There was an error in her deepest, most fundamental calculations, only the error wasn’t within her, it was standing in front of her. Poisoning every assessment. Every attempt at reason.

Intolerable. His existence was intolerable.

She had to act. She could not stand this. The intensity had taken her by surprise and she did not know how to process. Any of it. Except to remove it at the source.

She thumbed her pistol’s settings. Maximum output. Maximum dispersion. Catch as much of him in the beam-cone as possible and burn. Targeting solutions wrote themselves. She had to correct this error. This pain. She had to *act*.

As she lifted her arm to fire, something heavy and unyielding pushed it back down. Ceramite gauntlet. Master Jengbish. It took her a moment to remember where she was. Who she was with.

"He only knows one sort of change."

Somehow she managed to formulate the words. A flat monotone. She did not know how to adequately express. The turmoil. She was experiencing. Servos in her arm whined as they fought to raise her weapon again.

The feeling took on an edge of desperation. As the others kept listening. Interrogating. Did they not know. The danger? Did this. Awful. Overwhelming impulse. Not grip their thoughts too?

“There is. No point. Continuing this conversation.”

The expressionless android’s stilted voice buzzed with ugly harmonics as she tried to wrench her gun out of Jengbish’s grip.

Edited by LittleMako on Apr 18th 2024 at 10:04:40 PM

The Revelry Commune - Zone Five - The Barovian Backdoor Special

"I don't know, it sounded kinda sketchy," Lyudmila said, shutting the fridge door behind her after retrieving a bottle of tonic from within. "But boss has spent enough time in the streets that she wouldn't let rats like that make a reservation without good reason. Still gonna want to keep an eye on them while they're here, though. I'm sure you could wring an answer out of her if you wanted." She swiped the empty glass from the bar counter, rinsed and refilled it, then handed it back to her associate on the other side, currently the only living person in the building.

"What was their leader's name again? Majima or something?"

The floor creaked from across the room, and instinctively she shouted "Dmitri! Watch it!" She glanced over in time to catch her colleague nearly shatter a table on the stage as he attempted to set it. Two of the girls were out sick with "food poisoning," and so the night's show had been canceled. At least there were no customers to witness Dmitri's awkward attempts at preparing for the change in schedule.

"I got it under control, mama!" he shot back, grinning without a hint of shame.

For a brief instant the entire bar ground to a halt as an unfamiliar sound coming from the front door rang through the building. Kolya stepped away from the entrance and tensed up, before relaxing slightly as an unexpected group entered without immediately presenting a threat. Finally, familiar faces emerged and the vampires eased up.

"Leo!" several of them shouted in unison.

Kolya shot Lyudmila a look as the last of them entered, his way of letting her know that several of the faces were new. No sooner had she taken stock of the arrivals, however, had one of them evidently decided something had come up and rushed back out the door. Without so much as a shrug she addressed the remainder and said "What can I get ya?"

She shot a brief glance at her friend at the bar before answering the woman who'd entered first. "Everything we serve here is legal, ma'am. But if you're looking for something purple, then coming right up." Lyudmila nodded at Leo and Prushka. "The usual for you two?"

After a moment, she presented several drinks and pushed them towards their respective recipients. To Leo, she said "Light on the sauce, how you like it," and for Yukari's order "Purple rain. Vodka, lemonade, grenadine, blue curaçao. Hope you like it." She briefly glanced at Chen, before returning to Yukari and asking "Water and a snack for the little one? Can't serve her anything from behind the counter, regulations and all that. We've got soft drinks, too."

She stepped back from the bar and grabbed a pair of bowls filled with pretzels and nuts, then placed them on the counter. "First drink's on the house, newcomer special."

Danika walked up to the bar and took a seat at the stool next to Leo and Prushka. "So good to see you two again!" she said, gently and playfully pushing on Leo's shoulder. "How are things?"

Elimo; ???, Nursery

Amaterasu spoke, and she would have responded except for Maia - she thought that was her name - suddenly trying to shoot Lorem Ipsum, only to be held back by Jengbish. Her tone was curiously unexpressive, the sort of flatness only produced from deep turmoil, if she might be allowed some projection.

“I question the wisdom of attacking in unknown territory,” she said, keeping her tone even. “Clearly, Maia, you feel differently - perhaps, if I may indulge myself in conjecture, this may not be unknown to you. Nevertheless-” her eyes flicked briefly to Jengbish - “-there is currently not adequate support for the endeavor you suggest. May the assembled forgive me if I am wrong.”

“In any case,” she turned towards Lorem Ipsum, almost swiveling, like a toy ballerina on a rotating stand, “I must concur with the rest. If you claim that your nature dictates all that you do, clearly you have no interest in changing. It seems there is consensus upon that.”

Irvine; Zone 4, Warehouse

Areum shrieks through the warehouse like a very neon jet plane, and then suddenly it’s over and the guy is dead. One of the mooks mutters something about not knowing what a jop is. He’s suddenly envious of this guy who was trying to kill him not even five minutes ago. Funny how that worked out. He thought about how he would have to explain this to Satsuki, and his spirits sank even lower. That would not be a fun conversation.

Ichiban cheers for Areum, and before Irvine’s nausea can crystallize into an urge to vomit - though as he hasn't actually eaten anything today, it would probably be mostly bile, not that it would be any less unpleasant - the guy swivels and offers him and the split personality kid a thumbs up, grinning like a little kid who hasn’t yet figured out to verbalize their emotions through words that aren’t shouts. Then he summons a person to make magic stew. Sure. Why not?

After forcing himself to consciously comprehend that the sudden bam-bam-bam was just the lady’s knife on the cutting board and not a machine gun, he watched her zip around and make stew and say kind things and smile until he couldn’t bear to look anymore. Instead, he watched Ichiban try and talk to the murder slug. It was hard to judge the success rate of such things, but personally he wasn’t optimistic. Not that he would say that out loud, of course - then it might hear him and try to eat his face, and he couldn’t have that.

Keeping one eye on the slug situation in case it escalates, he strolls over to the table and takes a bowl and a spoon, muttering thanks. He’s not sure if the woman is even real, or what, but it doesn’t hurt to be polite.

He takes a spoonful of stew, and on one head he can feel the screeching in his head subside to the normal hum it is normally, which is good. On the other hand, he’s struck with a sense of nostalgia that’s so sudden it feels like a punch to his chest, like the one time they were all at the orphanage and Zell accidentally shoved him hard and he cried, and then the woman he tried to shoot to put a metaphorical feather in his metaphorical cap of shooting people patted him on the head and asked if he was hurt, and he said no, and that might have been the last time he had told the truth when someone asked him that. Which was too bad, really. He should talk to someone about it.

He realizes that he is staring vacantly into the bowl.

Whatever. He can be in shock from Areum’s entrance. It’s fine.

He looks up at the new idol drama - the robot girl introduces herself and proceeds to, in front of two Peacekeepers and a sitting member of the Diet, announce her association with a member of the United Front and request the assembled to reform the organization into collective opposition to the Diet - peaceful, of course. Slightly less mind-bogglingly naive is her request to Areum that they collaborate on an album - but to his great surprise, she accepts both, and announces that she's quitting the Diet to boot.

What a wonderful moment, he thinks, and wishes he could be happy about it.

Barovian Backdoor Special

"Oh, I figured as much! I just didn't want you thinking I was asking for Lean or something, heehee!" the woman in the purple dress tittered, covering her giggles with an almost shy gloved hand to her mouth. She accepted the "purple rain" and delicately took a sip, then sighed in satisfaction.

"Simply fantastic, thank you! Just the right notes of sweet, fruity, and sour coming together just so!" she declared, beaming.

At the question of the little one, she nodded readily, and said, "That would be fine with me, though she can choose whether she wants water or soda."

"I want onea those sodas with the lil' glass ball inside!" Chen-incognito requested of Lyudmila, giving her her best puppy-dog eyes (in spite of the fact that she was a cat, they were quite convincing).

"I don't know that they have Ramune here, dear..." the purple-attired one tried to let her down gently, reaching over to stroke her head.

"Awwww..." The little chestnut-haired teen(?) pouted mightily, then huffed out a sigh.

"Whatever ya got, I guess," she opined with glum resignation. "I likes 'em fizzy, tho."

"As for me, I'd like something blue to drink, please!" the disguised Ran requested primly, alighting on a stool so that Chen was seated between her and the likewise disguised Yukari.

"So, Bartender," Yukari asked with a warm smile after snacking on a pretzel, "what's your name? I'm Murasaki, and these are my daughter, Ao, and my granddaughter, Daidai! And of course, you already know Leo and Prushka!"