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Too Many Cooks Spoil The Multiverse: This Is (Not) A Joke

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kagescorpionakki Breath of the Sun from Long Ago Since: Apr, 2009 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Breath of the Sun
#76: Jan 17th 2021 at 10:51:23 AM

Zone Six - Egress

Amaterasu smiled, retreating to her cushion to allow Jester to pull Everett into the dance. But not before she swirled her tail again, granting Jester a crown of flowers to match Everett's bracelet.

Laying down once more, she stretched out, relaxing as she observed everyone having fun.

"Not going to dance, ma chérie?" Said the man laying behind her, as he ran his hands through her fur. His long blond hair, which he'd long since given up on hiding, splayed out over her cushion, even as it framed a face as pale and radiant as the moon.

She'd long since given up figuring out how Waka was able to appear and disappear at will. She was pretty sure it was some manner of Moon Tribe artifact, but she wouldn't rule out that Waka was just that fast.

Either way, she gave no indication of surprise, merely leaned against him, nuzzling his cheek with her wet nose. "You of all people should know that I'm not much of a dancer. I have two left paws, after all."

Waka laughed, a melodic and pleasing sound. To anyone else it would almost sound like he was showing off his voice, but Amaterasu knew he was being genuine.

Then he scooped her up, and before she could protest, had lifted her to her feet, taking her two front paws in her hand and pulling. She was forced onto her hindpaws, her balance kept only by leaning against him.

"Come now, ma petite, we can't let them have all the fun." Waka grinned at her, that smug grin that she couldn't help but find endearing. Amaterasu huffed a moment, but begrudgingly gave in.

She began to match his rhythmic steps, allowing him to take the lead and sway her body. Given her four-legged nature, the movements were unnatural, and she couldn't hope to match Jester's performance, but she found she didn't care.

What is so amusing about this? Why do you take lives? How can you forget?
TheRealWren Omega Overlord. Or superjwren329. Either or. from I...honestly have no idea. Since: Jan, 2011
Omega Overlord. Or superjwren329. Either or.
#77: Jan 17th 2021 at 4:50:05 PM

Zone Four - Konohana Park

"T-Thanks."

Well, at least Neraida was right. There was always maps of the places he had been and things still to discover here...even if it wasn't likely to be a giant tree labyrinth. So it only took a few seconds for his smile to come back at the thought of possible silver linings.

...And better him being here than that...princess. She'd probably have gotten in trouble trying to make everyone her servants. Although the introductions quickly snapped him back to attention and eagerly accepted the handshake.

"Nice to meet you, er, Mit-eum! Name's Elliot Etirina, explorer and courier, at your service!"

Edited by TheRealWren on Jan 17th 2021 at 11:20:40 PM

Hope you weren't expecting anything witty here. Maybe some day.
HilarityEnsues Since: Sep, 2009
#78: Jan 18th 2021 at 11:31:24 AM

Zone Six

Whoa, Setsuna was really letting loose! The angel’s dance moves, by contrast, were a bit more restrained. Almost elegant – almost. She was more than a bit buzzed by this point, and her hand-eye coordination wasn’t in top form right now. But she kind of made it work.

“Wow, you’ve got some serious moves! Haha, I can barely keep up with you Setsy!”

kkhohoho Since: May, 2011
#79: Jan 18th 2021 at 12:28:07 PM

Setsuna — Zone 6, Egress

"Uh, thanks! Like, it's nothin' that special? Just the sorta stuff you grew up with, ya know? I mean, if you had a bunch of bigass dudes strutting themselves around every night, you'd pick up something too, wouldn't ya?"

Setsuna kept tearing through the dance floor, her moves becoming increasingly more brazen and risque as she tore away her restraints. She was bending back when her horn snagged on Jester's laurel, spinning around until it rested on the base. "OOOO! Pretty! Pretty-witty! Prettywitty laurel! Prettywitty angel! Prettywitty... pretty..."

And then she had an idea. An awful, awful idea.

But whether it was the booze or Jester being a bad influence, she didn't care.

She twirled it around on her claw before before crouching down and sneaking around to Helena's back, shooting up and jamming it down on her big angel head and straight over her eyes. She chortled, doubling over in laughter as she saw the look on her big angel face. "Sorry, sorry! Couldn't resist! And, uh, hey! Pretty-witty laurel on pretty-witty angel, yeah? Looks good, don't it?"

Truth was, she wasn't sorry, but she wasn't gonna say it. She wasn't sure what was happening to her. Whether it was the booze, or if being around Jester and Helena and everyone else was making her ease up. Even if just a bit.

Whatever it was, she didn't want it to stop.

Edited by kkhohoho on Jan 18th 2021 at 3:25:03 AM

SullenFrog (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
#80: Jan 18th 2021 at 4:27:51 PM

Zone Six; Industrial District

You can't help but chuckle to yourself as Jester fiddles with her new crown. You have to admit, the floral wreath suits her.

Then she's taking your hand and before you know it you're on the dance floor. You stumble awkwardly at first, attempting to take the lead for just a moment, before it quickly becomes apparent that she is much, much more skilled at this than you are. After all, you can't even remember the last time you tried to do any sort of dance. So you surrender and let her set the pace and tempo, doing your best to keep up—and to keep your cape from getting underfoot or flaring out to smack somebody every time this blue devil takes you for a spin.

You probably should have taken the damned thing off before you started dancing. Fortunately, you do have ways of keeping it under control.

It doesn't take much effort to conjure your tentacle. It's never felt right to you as a replacement for your right arm. Not as dextrous as your hand used to be, not as sensitive to touch, and not solid enough to hold anything with any real weight. Still, it does its job well enough here. It clings to the inside of your cape and holds it by the hem so that it stays close to your body, even when Jester takes you by surprise and dips the both of you low—

Whoa. Did the lights just flare up right now?

—and brings you both back up. And does it again.

She's clearly having the time of her life, and her laughter is infectious. It isn't long before you find yourself laughing too—maybe not as intensely as she is, but harder than you've laughed in a long time. Longer than you can honestly remember.

By the time she slows down, you're out of breath. You're silently grateful for the change in pace and take the opportunity to get your second wind. This is something you can manage now.

"It sounds like a wonderful place," you say. "And your mother sounds like a wonderful person." You hesitate, wondering if you should say what you're about to say. You haven't really opened up to anyone about your past in all the years since you first wound up in this city. But you've done a lot of things tonight that you hadn't done before, and Jester is already sharing some of her past with you. The least you can do is reciprocate.

"I didn't know my mom while I was growing up. For the longest time it was just me and my dad, and then he got sick. Then I was on my own for a long time." Despite these words, you smile fondly. "Still, he and I had some good times together. Used to fly kites in the fields outside of town."

You look off into the middle distance, thinking back to those simpler times when a red-and-yellow diamond soaring through the air in a cloudless blue sky was enough to fill you with wonder. Or at least, you start to, only to see something that yanks you out of your reverie:

Amaterasu, standing on her hind legs and dancing with some blonde guy in a kimono.

The sight stops you short for a moment, and you stare. Then a laugh bursts out of you. "Well. There’s something you don’t see everyday…"

The Danse Macabre Codex
Stratofarius huzzaaaaaaaah Since: Aug, 2011
huzzaaaaaaaah
#81: Jan 18th 2021 at 9:01:27 PM

Egress Eternal

"Geez, a simple no would have worked." Greed grumbled at the end of Robotnik's latest rants. This guy sure likes to talk, he thought to himself as he snapped his fingers, one of his many hooded followers hurrying over to his table. He probably has a mustache and a monocle too. I hate guys with monocles. Unless... "Do you think I could rock a monocle?" He suddenly asked to his follower, who looked downright confused. "Nevermind. I've got a job for you."

Pulling out a small piece of paper from his vest, Greed resumed talking to the robot. "Alright, Doc, here's how it's gonna go. I'm gonna get your depressives..." He struggled to remember the word. "Depressants?..." Greed rolled his eyes and got to writing something on the piece of paper with a pencil his follower had offered to him. "Whatever they're called, consider it done. I'll call up some contacts and we'll have it all packed up in some nice little briefcases."

Greed raised his finger, holding up the piece of paper. "That is... if you can do something for me." He smiled, purple eyes poking through the top of his glasses. "Usually it's the other way around: someone asks me to do something for them and I hold onto that favor. But you sound like the perfect person for what I have in mind." Because people who talk like you are usually super dumb and don't know it... or they know they're dumb and think that's something to be proud of. Either way, no skin off my back. He thought to himself, practically chuckling at how delightfully devilish his idea was. "... I want you to go after someone."

The homunculus leaned back, handing the paper to his follower, who hurried away (running past a nearby rowdy group at the bar). Greed leaned in, lowering his voice so only the robot could hear him. "There's this waiter at the bar I'm at- the Egress Eternal- and she's made entirely out of gemstone. Heck, they're the reason I even come to this place- that and the free tab. Doc, that kinda person shouldn't be tending bars. She should be in my house..." He shook his finger, and then jabbed a thumb at his chest, grinning. "... as part of my hoard! I want her, Doc, because she is rare, and she is precious, and nobody deserves her better than me- Greed." He clenched his fist, imagining just how nice a person made out of gemstone would look like in between his other possessions.

Leaning back on his chair, Greed shrugged. "Do that, and the drugs are yours, Doc."

Edited by Stratofarius on Jan 18th 2021 at 9:03:13 AM

wikkit Since: Sep, 2009
#82: Jan 19th 2021 at 2:41:45 PM

A Machine, Egress Eternal

The machine swiveled in place, its eyes going wide as it performed a basic visual scan of the bar. Of the many occupants of this ship, few could be described as having the skin of gemstones. It could only capture fractured images of Andradite as she moved in-between patrons, but that was enough for the machine's controller. A glimpse at her, along with her occupation...


From the dark room at the other end of the city, Eggman paused, scratching the side of his nose. Just looking at the gemstone woman, he couldn't help but think about a certain other magical gemstone that he had an undue fixation with, and how many times it's been taken away from him. Certainly, there'd be far less issue taking this one, considering it might as well be a faceless nobody in a crowd of thousands - rather than the prized cultural artifact of a race of ant-eating marsupials - but he had to think.

Did Eggman particularly want this person, himself? As a funny souvenir to to point at, laugh at, and remind him of different days...

...nah. He shrugged, and leaned back toward the microphone.


"You have yourself a deal. You won't even have to wait long, my trusted friend," Greed could hear. "I already have a method in mind for this operation. If you had told me it was going to be this simple of a trade, I might have even come to see you myself!"

The bugbot rolled forward and clattered onto the ground, looking up to Greed one final time. "Have your boys work on it in advance! I don't particularly enjoy having to wait for my reward."

Uncandescent One Brunch Man Since: Jul, 2010 Relationship Status: Coming soon to theaters
One Brunch Man
#83: Jan 19th 2021 at 8:06:24 PM

Zone Six: Rum-Eyed Rufus’s

“I don’t think I’ve ever flown a kite before.” Jester said, her gaze absently straying up as though she could see the little diamonds of wood and cloth stretching high above them even now, even as she scrunched up her nose as though she’d just admitted to never having had a particularly delicious kind of chocolate. “But I’ve never done a lot of the things they have in this city, that everyone else thinks is just totally normal! It seems like every day I see something that you don’t see… every… day.” Jester said, furrowing her brow a bit at the incongruity of the statement, Amatarasu continuing to dance just over her shoulder.

Jester stopped short of humming along to the music, but her spade-tipped tail had begun to whip back and forth in place like a metronome, flexing and flowing in time with their steps. “Your mom kind of sounds like my dad, he wasn’t really around either. But that means that your dad is like my mom, so your dad must be the best! My mom even saved my life, once.” Jester said, broaching the topic with a barely-stifled giggle like she was sharing a sleepover secret rather than a near-death experience. “Some people don’t actually like my pranks very much. Which is crazy to believe, right? But one of those people was a lord, and they got really really mad at me when I embarrassed him in front of a whooooole bunch of people. He wanted the city guards to put my head on a stake or something, but my mom came up with a way better plan, and gave me a bunch of money before telling me to leave the Menagerie Coast altogether. And I did such a good job, that I ended up here!” Jester said, letting off what sounded like almost a triumphant cackle. “The best part is, my mom already expected me to be gone for a really long time. So even though I’ve been here for a while, I bet I haven’t even been gone long enough for her to miss me!”

The realization of what she’d just said only seemed to hit her after the words were already out of her mouth. For just a moment, Jester looked down and away, her expression speaking to a swirl of sudden loneliness perhaps familiar to Everett, to the promise of someone taken for granted that was now just out of reach.

But then, Jester finally caught sight of the doggy-cleric and some blonde guy doing their own version of the two-step, and her melancholy was broken as Jester’s heart and self-restraint both melted at the same time. Her feet completely and utterly lost their rhythm, the tiefling practically doubling completely over as she was abruptly overtaken by peals of surprised, enchanted laughter. Things didn’t get any better for her abused lungs when she noticed that the large, intimidating horned woman she’d been so terrified of earlier was even more of a kindred spirit than Jester could have ever hoped for, pulling one over (literally!) on Helena in a way that Jester had always been about three feet too short to pull off. As Jester’s laughter ascended from loud chortles to high, breathless gasps, she rose a shaking finger up to her sputtering lips to signal at Everett not to give anything away, before taking advantage of this golden opportunity by guiding her duplicate over—on mischievous tippy-toes and with a wicked smile, naturally—to position herself just in front of Helena’s (possibly) staggering form, the illusory Jester stretching up just as far as it could go to situate its face exactly two inches away from Helena’s sightless eyes. From there, it would aim to startle the angel medic once Helena pulled the crown off, with a terrifying face made up of two crossed eyes and a tongue poking goofily out the side of her mouth.

Whatever the result, Jester would continue to clap and laugh, leaning against Everett for support and coming dangerously close to soaking herself through by pressing into where his water tentacle was hugged close to his body. “Next time, we’ll have to go fly kites together.” Jester said, reaching up to wipe a joyous tear from her eye, leaving an earnest twinkle to replace it as the giggles subsided, and she looked over to Everett once more. “That way, we can follow your lead, instead!”

Edited by Uncandescent on Jan 19th 2021 at 11:32:19 AM

If I had that kind of power, I'd have dropped a meteor on your house ages ago~
troydenite sword of promised halp from Somewhere South Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
sword of promised halp
#84: Jan 20th 2021 at 5:24:03 AM

A Digression On The Girl Named Violet

This is necessary for the simple reason that our subject is completely incapable of self-description.

Violet is a slight girl with fair skin and golden hair tied in a messy ponytail behind her. She could be fourteen, or sixteen, or eighteen - it is almost impossible to tell, because her blue eyes are so guileless. She is wearing a white blouse, very dirty, now half-brown and soaked with coffee, and a green skirt that trails along the ground. Her face is as beautiful as a doll's, delicate and perfect, but there is something missing from it, a certain spark of comprehension that most people come to expect from others after a time. Her arms are indeed made of metal, a pair of intricate-looking prosthetics that retain a disconcerting tension, even when they hang limply and leadenly by her sides. When she looks at you there is nothing in her gaze; a child would have more interest, if only to laugh or blush at the attention. Something has been cut in her brain; there is a break between what she sees, what she feels, and what she wants to say. But she seems ready and sharp nonetheless, not slovenly or slow, and if you found the right key to wind her perhaps she would spring to life.

"I am alright," she says. "I am not hurt. Thank you very much."

When she speaks, her voice is quick and clipped, reaching without strain for something quite beyond her, as if she has one false arm extended out to try and catch the sun.


Violet; Inside The Digression

The man with slit-eyes comes and asks me if I am alright, of course I am alright, it is not a hot day and scalding never killed anyone, it is better than the foot-rot that the men get from the water in the trenches. But I tell him that I am alright because it is good to confirm these things for civilians, and he seems to be concerned, although why he is concerned I do not know. What shall I do to express my thanks for the concern that he is showing?

He is wiping my typewriter, but that is unnecessary because the coffee has only gone to the rubber feet, so I pick up the machine and shake it off but gently so that the typebars will not jam and then I leave it on the table, carriage down and spacebar pointed towards the sky. The sun will dry it because it is hotter than the coffee.

"I am alright," I say. "I am not hurt. Thank you very much."

The top-hat man who gave me the coffee tells me to come inside and gives me some wet rags that look very clean and say that I should use them on my dress, so I bite them first to make sure they are really clean and they taste sour but a clean sort of sour and so I hold on to them with my teeth to keep for later. He tells me that I can order a sandwich or a pastry for free on the house which is good because I will not have to pay for it but is bad because I will have to climb to the top of the house to eat it. In the Major's house they served pastries for tea but I have forgotten what they tasted like because the only taste I can remember is mud and the taste of his bloodied shirt as he was dying and maybe the clean sour rags so I will probably have the sandwich and something hot to drink.

He mentions Kayne who is famous for her fixing abilities and is a good mechanic. Perhaps she can fix my arms so that I will be able to feel things again.

"Thank you very much," I tell him through the rags. "I will come in now."

The coffee smells sour but not like the rags, it is a deep and profound sour that reminds me of mud. I follow him inside, to where it is warm, but I make sure to take my ten marks just in case I will need to pay.

Bondrewd is inside. Bondrewd is one of my customers and I have never seen his face. He likes to talk to me when I type but like I said before I am not really listening but he thinks I am. It is not because I do not want to listen it is because I do not understand what he is trying to tell me and typing is very loud and noisy. He is a Draughtsman which means he goes outside the City and does mysterious things.

"Good morning, Bondrewd," I say. "The man with the top-hat has offered me a sandwich or a pastry and something hot to drink. I spilled coffee on myself. Do you think coffee is good to drink?"

I turn to the man with slit-eyes whose name seems to be Leonardo.

"Good morning, Leonardo. My name is Violet. I am an Auto Memory Doll. It is good to meet you. You must care a lot about typewriters. You are a good man."

I have not let go of the rags in my teeth because it is good to bite on things, it helps me when my stumps itch.

"I do not come inside these places often. What is there for me to eat?"

Edited by troydenite on Jan 21st 2021 at 2:24:33 AM

'Being around you guys makes me go "wtf" instead of pondering the ever increasing dread of time' - EchoingSilence, 2023
OG-Sama Mancunian Candidate Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: I get a feeling so complicated...
Mancunian Candidate
#85: Jan 20th 2021 at 12:29:22 PM

Jengbish: Zone One, Central Business District, Corner of Seventh & Ninth Street

"I've seen similar patterns," you say, stirring salt into your tea; despite your sincerest petition, the yaksha has yet to locate a source of roasted millet. "In the Ordu. Heavy weapons, plasmaguns and the like. You're right, Maia. Old Martian design, this, for a fighting man in powered armour, with autosenses and cogitators to do his aiming for him. The frontblade - here, Prushka - is just for acquisition. Close-in fighting, bunkers and shiphalls, that manner of thing. That's why they balanced it this way, to let you free a hand for your knife. But I never have seen a man in powered armour pick a close-up stubber from his armoury, at least not willingly. Very strange."

You smile at them conspiratorially, because Pruskha responds with puzzling glee to condescension and Maia hasn't the aptitude to recognise it, and surreptitiously dip a mutton sandwich into your tea. The yaksha's always had a talent for baking, but the meat is the real kind too, insofar as you can smell. Some poor bastard's had his flock swallowed up.

"I'll tell you something. The Martian Priesthood believe that they have never invented anything. Not ever since Old Night. Not once. They believe that every pattern to roll out from their forgeworlds, from this stubgun to my pistol, is a thing inherent to the structure of the universe which they have only happened to discover. Like a writer who sees his brushstrokes already lain upon the page, do you understand? It's madman's view of things, of course - your father is the walking proof - but they would take this thing as another great proof of their own. They have a great many, you see. Whoever this Herstal is, he seems to have been struck by the same inspiration as hits their magi."

Seasoned by the tea and charred in unearthly fires, the mutton is exquisite. The shepherd has your sympathies. You gently lift the stubgun from Maia's hands, admiring once again its artful balance, the wood's well-polished grain, and slide it back against the maglock on your hip.

"Strange things we find between these walls, ah?"

Edited by OG-Sama on Jan 21st 2021 at 1:43:36 PM

HilarityEnsues Since: Sep, 2009
#86: Jan 20th 2021 at 4:19:24 PM

Helena, Zone Six

“Whaaa…?”

Helena gave a sloshed giggle as she fiddled around with the laurel on your head.

“Haha, veeeeery funny Setsy. Guess you’re a bit a jokester, huh- eeek!”

She recoiled as Jester’s magic kicked in and it suddenly made the spookiest of faces. She wasn’t on high alert right now, so this caught her off guard.

“Jester! Gah, I’ll getcha for this! Onea these days, Jesty!”

The prank war was vicious, and not all battles could be victories it seemed.

Areum, Zone One

Sometimes it’s hard being the baddest bitch in Concordia. But that is a burden that I, Areum AKA Candy AKA Best President of United Korea must bear. Being extremely cute, sexy, talented, and intelligent can really drain a person, especially when you’re surrounded by all these manlet humans who are desperate for your attention. Well tough tiddies manlets, I’m not Kaguya, so talk to her if you want some waifu merry-go-round to get your jollies off in.

Anyways, I decided to go visit Zone One – along with my precious little kitty, Fluffy. Jengbish and Bondrewd were there, and those were easily two of the biggest nerds on the ship. I remember Bondrewd brought up the square cube law once around me, and I was like “Bitch, you’re the squarest cube I’ve ever seen”. Not my best putdown, but I was more than a little drunk at the time. And Jengbish was always talking about some sorta mystical philosophical shit, which gets pretty confusing sometimes. Plus he’s not hot and he can’t dance, but he can fight so it’s probably good to have him around sometimes.

There were other people there, like King Manlet Leo, who I think is the shortest person here besides Bone Zone’s little girl. I heard his eyes can see anything – if he uses them to seem me naked I will snap his torso in two like licorice, I swear to my last album. Thankfully he’s kind of a nerd too, so I don’t think I have to worry about that. Oh well, looked like he had other stuff to do anyway.

There were other people there too, but let’s just skip ahead to the good part.

“Sup my mother☆fuckin’ boooooys,” I said, coolly blowing some pink bubblegum in my mouth as I looked at Bonny and Clydebish, then everyone else. “You guys didn’t think you could just go and have some fun without me, did ya?”

I laughed in a way that was super cool and everyone liked to hear. At least I did, which was the most important thing. I took a seat next to them and ordered a hugeass plate of various meats fit for a lady of my stature, along with a super sweet tea that had that sugar I loved.

LittleMako A dogged fellow, aren't we? from the Great Indoors Since: Jul, 2016 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
A dogged fellow, aren't we?
#87: Jan 20th 2021 at 4:31:18 PM

Maia: Zone One Coffeeshop

Nodding in understanding, Maia leaned forward to listen as Jengbish spoke, fixing him with an intent stare. There were a few people in the city whose words she regularly replayed, thought about. Her Father was one, and Master Jengbish was another. Their wisdom did not always align, but she suspected that was an analysis problem on her end.

While she listened, she was also running a quick simulation, clearing a tight hallway with the under-stubber. The results supported Jengbish's and her own conclusions, which made the android smile slightly in satisfaction as she handed the gun back, folding her hands on the tabletop.

"I'm learning about inspiration from my drawing teacher. It's a very important part of the process. However, I have never heard it described this way. It does seem like a leap in logic." She paused before adding, "I'm not sure I have experienced inspiration myself yet. I may not be qualified to make that call."

The next arrival to the briefing required Maia to shuffle over in her seat, the android giving the booth's second master draughtsman a salute.

"Hello, Master Areum. The briefing hasn't started yet. We were discussing firearm design and artistic inspiration."

Sathzur Since: Oct, 2014
#88: Jan 20th 2021 at 6:48:01 PM

Shinano


Shinano is awoken by the cafe's door opening and then closing behind its proprietor her ears twitching as she rises once more from her slumber, and glances around to see what had roused her. Waving her hand to catch Moko's attention she says to him, "I would...also like some tea...and a strawberry shortcake if you some"

Shinano looks up when a boisterous voice shouts at their 'boys' before letting out a slightly annoying laugh and sees that it is Lady Areum making a flashy entrance into the cafe.

DoctorThunder Since: Sep, 2010
#89: Jan 20th 2021 at 7:13:16 PM

Zone 1 - Everlasting Diet

Aitera's wait is decisively ended by a knock upon her office doors, and her doorman's voice informing her of Myn's arrival. Said doors swing open soundlessly on their oiled hinges and reveal Aitera's elven guest. He is flanked by two bodyguards, hunched and hulking lion-men with curved horns jutting from their foreheads, both well-muscled under their tailored suits. Neither is visibly armed, because they are never that obvious. Myn gives the two of them a curt nod and they obediently wait outside the office.

Once the doors are closed behind him, Myn approaches Aitera's desk and gives his customary three-point bow: Legs straight, left arm at a right angle across his back with its fist closed, right arm at the same right angle across his chest with fingers extended. He's been expected to do this since he was a child, and it's as natural as breathing for him now.

"Good afternoon, Aitera. I hope the day finds you well and in good health. Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to meet with me."

Myn's voice is clear and crisp, like pristine snow melted into sound. He sounds sincere, because he always does. He takes the seat on his side of Aitera's desk without asking. He does not speak while he does this, but the moment he is finished and can resume looking her in the eye, he begins again.

"If it pleases you, I would like to discuss the sermons and your preferences for their subjects in the coming month, as well as an upcoming outreach program I'm hoping to start. You're aware of the overall attitudes I attempt to foster among my adherents, but it has been seven months since you last requested I focus my encouragements on certain specific personality traits the Diet wished emphasized. As such, I thought it prudent to seek your input moving forward."

Myn crosses one leg over the other, his face a tawny mask of laissez-faire professionalism. Funny enough, he only ever appears this casual if he wants something and has spent a great deal of time pondering how best to ask for it.

"Which brings me to the subject of my outreach: In the sectors I am allowed influence over, crime rates are down, and civil unrest is next to unheard of. You and I both receive the same reports to this effect each month. The Mind Extrinsic is of great benefit to the Diet, and by extension, Concordance. However, as we both know, there are certain sectors over which I have limited presence, due to certain...aberrant organizations."

He means organizations who don't care for his philosophy, or who are less than pleased by the idea of an immortal oligarchy ruling Concordance. Historically speaking, official excursions into these zones by the Diet have ended in what top scholars sometimes refer to as 'diplomatic oopsies'.

"I would like clearance to extend the Mind Extrinsic's reach into Sector 6. I believe I can make headway there, despite previous incidents. You and I both know that this would be of great benefit to the Diet."

Edited by DoctorThunder on Jan 21st 2021 at 10:58:56 AM

kkhohoho Since: May, 2011
#90: Jan 20th 2021 at 7:15:35 PM

Setsuna — Zone 6, Egress

...that was a good question, wasn't it?

Was she a jokester?

It wasn't like she'd ever been much of a prankster before coming to Concordia. Most of the time, she was pissing off a storm, getting herself wasted, or living in fear of the next beating.

Really didn't want to think about the beatings.

But back when she was a kid, before it really got bad, she was, wasn't she? Maybe she didn't do it all day every day, and maybe she wasn't sticking firecrackers up people's asses or anything. But she was still spiking the drinking water, swapping it with donkey's piss, or stealing her dad's loincloth when he wasn't looking.

...that last one was probably when it started getting worse. And worse. And worse and worse and worse. Until any ounce of fun or rebellion had been beaten out of her dumb ass and into the pavement.

But spending time with Helena, meeting Jester, all of it— it was like something within her had reawakened. Something she thought she'd lost for good.

And she wasn't gonna lose it again.

Case in point, she fell down to her knees as she howled with laughter, catching a glimpse of Not!Jesty spooking the bejeebus out of Helena. "It's funny cuz you got scared even though she wasn't really there and you shouldn't have been scared and you should have seen your face! Like, seriously!"

With Helena still facing the direction of the now-vanished Not!Jesty, she went and seized the moment. Lunging forward, she grabbed one of Helena's ankles, tossing her back and hopefully knocking her towards the others and flat on her ass. Not enough to hurt her, but enough to continue the conga.

Funny enough, the last thing she was thinking about now was her father. Or the beatings. Or anything else that any other day would have sent her into a frenzy. Because she was too busy laughing her damn ass off.

Edited by kkhohoho on Jan 20th 2021 at 9:16:15 AM

whizzerd Transcender of Gender from Scotland Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: I'm just high on the world
Transcender of Gender
#91: Jan 20th 2021 at 8:20:44 PM

Zone One, Corner Of Seventh and Ninth Street

Perhaps "cowed" was not the right word, but Leo felt just a little smaller (if such a thing was possible) when Bondrewd came over and took the reigns as he was so adept at doing. Still, Bondrewd's affirmative hand on his back helped to quell the feeling, as did the strange woman's clipped but sincere words. Now that he was up close, Leo could see the peculiarity in her body that had caught his attention when he first arrived- her aura was weaker where her flesh met metal, and was a more subdued hue of blue than Leo was used to seeing in regular humans.

Distracted by this slight variance in her form, it took him a second to register her thanks and reassurance. "You're not hurt? That's good..." The typewriter was tipped up to the sun and, for lack of a better method of disposal, Leo awkwardly shoved the dampened tissues into his pocket. He followed his boss and the woman into the café before he could bemoan that his clothes were going to smell bitter now.

Zone One, Inside Kothys

Sonic was on top of the world, two hands running circles into his fur and eliciting a comfortable coo from the monkey. So lulled was he by the decadence that he wasn't immediately startled by an item being dropped on the table, and instead leisurely turned to face it.

Upon seeing the barrel of a gun staring back at him, Sonic screamed and disappeared from sight in the literal blink of an eye.

At the entrance, Leo felt heat rush into his face as Violet introduced herself and complimented his recklessness. "Oh, haha, no, it was nothing. I've never actually seen a typewriter before, but, uh, I gathered from that sign that you use it for your work, right? And I can't imagine there's a lot of people around who'd know how to fix a broken typewriter, so..."

He was rambling. He hadn't been thinking nearly this hard when he'd rushed over to help. Thankfully he was saved from his own nervous prattling by Sonic depositing himself at Leo's feet and leaping up to hide himself inside the young man's jumper. So practised was this manoeuvre that Leo barely spared a glance when he felt the monkey clambering up his torso, and instead he looked in the direction that Sonic had fled from. Just in time to see Jengbish holster some bizarre-looking weapon, something Leo reacted to with a quiet but well-worn sigh. "Heyyy, you guys aren't talking about guns over coffee again are you?"

As if the scene before him wasn't crowded enough, another Master Draughtsman seemed to appear from nowhere- which was impressive, because her loud voice and louder fashion made her near impossible to miss. "Areum? You're coming on the expedition too?"

they/them || "Forgive me, regent of queer amphibians" - Lt.BGob
kaalban Schrodinger's Human from everywhere and nowhere Since: Aug, 2015 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Schrodinger's Human
#92: Jan 21st 2021 at 5:08:07 AM

Zone One - Kothys:

To Elerin's eyes, the cafe bustled with energetic, chaotic, distorting yet comforting life. They found it hard to focus on one "point of occurence", a term which came to their head only at this very moment. A typewriter called Violet Evergarden entered the cafe along with Bondrewed, a giant of a man was explaining concepts and musings about weapons and art. The sight of a gun stirred nothing into them, despite Leo's protest. Still, Elerin pointed their ears at Jengbish's words. Auto-aiming, gun with an attachment that enables melee combat. Worth considering. And that gun... Elerin imprinted the image of this into their mind, just like one would type out words on a keyboard or a typewriter.

"Indeed they are. At least it won't be shot, for now... I think," Elerin replied to Leo, before another contestant of this merry and lively congregation entered. Sup my motherfucking boys... Elerin glanced at others who paid attention to Areum the Master Draughtsman's entrance. This draws attention. Hmm... maybe I should try it out later. Such strong presences here today.

As important information has been laid out by Maia, Elerin only greeted this Master.

Everything that lives is designed to end.
Dezmo Since: Jan, 2011
#93: Jan 21st 2021 at 1:17:22 PM

Donkey Kong-Zone One-Kothys Coffee Shop

Cruising down a Zone One road in his trusty Barrel Blaster, Donkey Kong was raring and ready for action. The great ape, decked out in a yellow stuntman jumpsuit and his signature red tie, navigated through the traffic of the first zone with relative ease-no surprise, given that he was a regular in the Concordian racing scene at this point. The vehicle he drove-the Barrel Blaster- was an odd thing to be sure-a minecart affixed to some barrels and plating-but there was no denying that it handled like a dream. And that wasn't even getting into the Barrel Blaster's supercharged mode! Getting to drive this baby again was definitely a highlight of his stay in Concordia. Quickly sighting his destination- a nice little coffee shop the Draughtsmen usually met at before missions (that also had some fantastic pastries)-DK applied the brakes to the Barrel Blaster, quickly skidding to a stop just in time to park right in front of Kothys. "Nice," DK grunted, hopping out of the Barrel Blaster.

Noticing Johanna nearby, DK gave her a wave and a toothy smile. He'd seen a lot of her since joining up with the Draughtsmen, a team intent on exploring the ship outside the city of Concordia in search of cool artifacts and new places to live-well, they called themselves a guild, but DK figured that was pretty much a team that had more organization to it. The Draughtsmen often turned the artifacts over to Johanna, who knew a lot about magic AND science and could figure out how the artifacts worked, so DK could count her as one of the smartest people he knew. She had been especially interested in the artifact DK had brought with him to Concordia (or really, it was more like it had brought him)-the Rift Engine. The same Rift Engine that powered his Barrel Blaster and gave him access to his Turbo Charge powers. She hadn't yet discovered what it was that was preventing the Rift Engine from opening a portal out of Concordia, but DK figured if anyone could solve that problem, it'd be her.

Walking over to Johanna on both knuckles and feet (as Apes were wont to do), DK greeted her. "Ooh! Hey, Johanna. DK no see Johanna here before!"

It was a shame that whatever powers allowed others to speak and understand one language didn't quite seem to affect poor Donkey Kong. The other Draughstmen seemed to think that because DK hadn't entered Concordia the usual way-through a Leak-that the ship and it's apparent translating powers didn't have quite as strong a hold on him as it did everyone else. DK tended to agree with that idea, mainly because he couldn't think of another reason himself. He could understand everyone just fine, but his Kong speak didn't translate into anything most people could understand (unless you could already understand animals), so DK was stuck learning to speak this new universal language the hard way. It was...a work in progress.

"Johanna want grab brunch? Kothys super good!" DK asked. Jonanna's poor self care skills were practically legendary to anyone who knew of her, and DK figured she probably hadn't eaten anything lately-as usual, so getting her to agree to Brunch now would definitely be doing the girl some good.

wikkit Since: Sep, 2009
#94: Jan 21st 2021 at 4:01:55 PM

Outside of Egress Eternal

Day and night were constructs of the mind here, yet even so, there was an ebb and flow in the activity of this city. Fewer people walked the streets outside of the old cow's bar, making it almost peaceful in its silence. For a brief moment, there was only one pair of eyes surveilling this street...

As Andy stepped out for whatever reason might take her there, she found herself only with whatever company was brought with her. Concordia was silent-enough to where one could actually hear themselves think, for once. She could walk down the street for a few seconds, but sooner than later she would hear the sound of clacking feet coming up from behind her. If she looked over her shoulder to investigate, she'd see a gun pointed at her head coming from underneath a red cloak, with two pinpoint red eyes glowing from within. "Do not move or vocalize," it says in a monotone, obviously synthesized voice, "and you will not be harmed."

If she didn't bother checking who was coming up behind her, which is something I wouldn't put past her...well, I guess she's getting sucker punched and immediately grabbed then.

JumpingFruit An Ordinary Oddball from R'lyeh Since: Feb, 2018 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
An Ordinary Oddball
#95: Jan 21st 2021 at 10:01:04 PM

Kayné Ainsel—Zone Six, Industrial District, Egress Eternal

Kayne surveyed the happy scene with a fond and somewhat wistful expression on her face, before the throbbing in her leg and arm refused to abate and in fact seemed to worsen. She now regretted not getting something alcoholic to drink at the bar, though what else could a teetotaler do? It was simply out of the question, as it made the walk home that much more perilous.

She gulped down the rest of her apple cider—it was just beginning to go flat—and sighed shakily. Having something to eat and drink at Rufus' always calmed her down. Calling him over, she paid her tab and started to take her leave from the merry group at the bar. It was time to say her goodbyes. She had some important work to do later.

"Well, everyone, it was good meeting you all," Kayne said, with a smile on her face. "But it's nigh time that I went home; I have some things that I need to take care of. Perhaps I'll work with you another time, Jester, I'm very sorry for bothering you. Fairfarren, my friends!"

With that, she dipped her head in a shallow bow at her comrades and began to leave the bar, slowly beginning to make her way out of the place with her usual limping steps. On her way out, she paused to steady herself and take a moment to enjoy the quiet that was only available away from the rowdy main space of the Egress Eternal. She leaned against a wall, hoping to look casual, as she cursed under her breath and cradled her prosthetic arm, hoping to stop it from twitching fitfully. It would blow over in a moment. She just had to wait, that was all...


Moloch "Moko" Kothys—Zone One, Central Business District, Corner of Seventh & Ninth Street

"You don't put wet wipes in your mouth, dear," Moko advised Violet, sounding somewhat strained and worried. "Here, sit down, sit down, and I'll get you something to eat. If you like it I'll tell you where it is on the specials menu so you can order it the next time you visit...Dear me, I've never had someone come in and not know what to order, but I'll have that rectified in a moment. Possibly. Just you wait, Violet."

Soon a simple grilled chicken sandwich was placed on Violet's table, stuffed with lettuce and tomatoes along with Moko's signature succulent chicken. There was also another coffee waiting for her. Since Moko thought she would like something sweeter, there was enough sugar in it to make it pleasantly bittersweet and enough cream to stop the bitterness from having too much bite.

"Here's your usual, miss Areum," he added courteously, bringing the diva's favored plate of sweetmeats and iced tea over to her. "Please tell me promptly if you need a refill for your tea, madam. I have an entire pitcher ready for you."

"And here I have your strawberry shortcake and a nice Darjeeling, miss Shinano," Moko said at length, after retrieving said cake from behind the refrigerated glass display case next to the counter. "Again, please tell me if you want a refill. That should be all."

"Oh, hello, sir DK," he greeted the primate as he entered. "Shall I fetch a banana split for you like last time, or should you like to order anything else for yourself and Johanna?"

Edited by JumpingFruit on Jan 23rd 2021 at 10:06:46 AM

I wear the skin of the Elder Things, having come unto my own.
SullenFrog (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
#96: Jan 22nd 2021 at 10:35:19 AM

Zone Six; Industrial District [Egress Eternal]

You've calmed down by the time Jester compares your dad to her mom. You feel your cheeks turn a darker shade of blue, and a smile forces its way onto your face again. But before you can thank her for saying so, or suggest that your dad might not have been all that great, the rest of her words sink in and you see her cheery attitude disappear, replaced by wistfulness.

Your own smile disappears at the sight. Damn it all. You knew something like this would happen. You shouldn't have said anything. Should've just kept your mouth shut, you damned idiot—

But the clouds vanish from the demon-girl's expression almost as soon as they appear. It seems like she finally noticed the sight of Amaterasu dancing with that guy, and she cracks up at it even harder than you did. And she keeps laughing when she notices something else, something that takes you a moment to process. Helena, with a wreath yanked low over her eyes, and Setsuna, standing behind her and laughing, having obviously yanked it down in the first place.

…Isn't that Jester's wreath? How did it get over—

Oh. Right. The dance.

Man. You must be drunker than you thought if you missed that.

But now Jester's urging you to be quiet, and so you watch as she works some kind of spell. Then you blink as another Jester—so that's where the extra fingers came from—crosses the dancefloor to stand right in front of Helena and just about scares the stockings off the angel. Jester laughs even harder, and Setsuna does too, and even Helena… well, she's swearing revenge on the blue devil as far as you can tell, but she doesn't seem unhappy.

You… don't laugh. But the corner of your mouth does twitch upward, and you let out a snort.

It's been too long since you had anything like this kind of fun. Not since…

You turn sombre. But before you can dwell on thoughts of lost friends, Jester is leaning against you and looking up at you and suggesting that you go fly kites together someday. You blink again. "…Yeah. Yeah, that might be nice." Hell, you might even be halfway decent at it. You may not have flown a kite in years and you may be short an arm, but you can do things now that you couldn't back then. And you have your tentacle—

Aw shit, the tentacle! She's gonna get soaked!

You hastily will the watery appendage to evaporate. Faint whisps of vapour rise up from beneath your cape and float toward the ceiling. As they do, Kayné announces that she's leaving. You're about to say goodbye, but she has already turned and started toward the exit.

"Thanks again for the food!" you call after her departing form. "I'll pay you back when I can."

Another debt. Two, if you count the drink. But you can worry about that later.

You turn your attention back to Jester. You wince. There's a conspicuous wet spot on her right side where she was leaning up against you. Looks like you didn't get rid of the tentacle quickly enough. "Erm, sorry about that…"

The Danse Macabre Codex
Stratofarius huzzaaaaaaaah Since: Aug, 2011
huzzaaaaaaaah
#97: Jan 22nd 2021 at 3:16:14 PM

Outside Egress Eternal

"Hi there, doc."

A voice whispered from Kayne's right side, as all around her, hooded figures began to 'subtly' block every way out. All of them managed to mingle with the crowd enough that they didn't look out of place, but the fact they were all facing towards Kayne was a clear sign that they were ready to stop her from leaving.

She might even recognize one of them: a brute wall of a man with a single topknot of black hair atop his head, who had a peg leg and a bandage on his right forearm, a bandage that Kayne herself had applied last week when the man came to her asking for assistance.

But before she could investigate that, the owner of the voice made himself present: Greed, leaning sideways on the wall, piercing purple eyes staring at her over his teashade glasses. "I don't know if you know who I am," He began, the grin on his lips growing wider and wider. "... but I think you know a member of my Horde."

At this, he nodded at the pegleg man, who seemed to look away in shame. "Last week, you treated him for some injuries. But here's something he forgot to tell you, doc..." Greed's grin turned sour, his stare turned into a glare, and he raised his right hand up to show it was now covered in a strange metallic texture, one that made his wiry fingers into sharp, glistening claws, one of which he soon used to try and lift Kayne's chin up. "-...nobody touches my property."

"Nobody." He hissed.

JumpingFruit An Ordinary Oddball from R'lyeh Since: Feb, 2018 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
An Ordinary Oddball
#98: Jan 22nd 2021 at 3:56:55 PM

Kayné Ainsel—Zone Six, Industrial District, Outside Egress Eternal

"Give me a moment," Kayne said drily, managing to not look too distressed with sharp graphene claws being held to her throat, to her credit. She met his eyes, undaunted, with her own that reflected a distant burning sun, harrowing all that dared to pass under it, and then deliberately and slowly examined the minion behind him. She shifted her glasses higher on the bridge of her nose and squinted at the man with the topknot and peg leg before recognizing him and speaking to him directly. "When I said to return to me if you had any further issues with your wound, this is not what I meant, dear. Honestly."

"If you're wondering about whether a doctor like me would ever molest my patients, you're mistaken," she continued, refocusing her attention on Greed. "I had a medical duty to attend to, and I carried out said duty with all due process. I can't believe I have to state this, by the way, but I most definitely did not sleep with him. I have oaths to adhere to and everything."

Then Kayne leaned in closer to Greed—or at least as much as she could, with his claw holding her still—and looked him over with the same owlish, scholarly gaze that she'd used on her former patient. "And aren't you the boss of that free market over yonder?" she asked, some recognition showing on her face. "I didn't know you were interested in such relationships. This is some interesting foreplay you're engaging in with my peg-legged friend, to be sure, but it's none of my business. Well, it is, if you end up catching some venereal disease, but..." Here she trailed off and looked between Greed and his allegedly favored minion with an expression between well-wishing and abject confusion.

"...Just promise me you'll use condoms," Kayne finished. "If he's interested in a possessive boyfriend like you, then surely he must be in good hands. I don't have to worry about him; I mean, look at you!" The back-alley doctor let out a light bark of laughter. "If you're this determined to protect him at all costs, it's probably comes off as hot to him, you know?"

"Anyways, can you let me go now?" she requested, looking Greed in the eyes all the while. "Have I missed the point of this entirely? Or do you have someone else for me to treat, with your express permission this time...?"

Edited by JumpingFruit on Jan 23rd 2021 at 10:07:37 AM

I wear the skin of the Elder Things, having come unto my own.
LittleMako A dogged fellow, aren't we? from the Great Indoors Since: Jul, 2016 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
A dogged fellow, aren't we?
#99: Jan 22nd 2021 at 4:42:10 PM

Andradite - Behind Egress Eternal

"Jeeze... how do we go through so many towels?"

With his footsteps gently plinking on the stairs, Andradite daintily made his way down to street level behind the now somewhat-quieter diner, a shopping list in one hand and a canvas bag in the other. His destination - the closest market! Even though Rufus ran a tight ship, sometimes even the tightest ships spring a leak sometimes! That was what Rufus liked to say, and Andy believed him - the gem had to plug the holes with his fingers that one time! Today the holes were more metaphorical, though.

As he meditated on the way a diner could run out of certain fluffy commodities so quickly, Andy heard something coming up from behind, and glanced back over his shoulder with a curious hum - only to be greeted by a mysterious figure with an ultimatum and a gun!

Pausing mid-step, the gem blinked in surprise, cocking his head slightly in confusion as his gaze went from pistol to sinister red eyes and back.

"... Oh, are you mugging me? Are you new? It's just, I thought everyone was on the same page after last time?"

joergenjetsam from The city of constant rain Since: Dec, 2012 Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
#100: Jan 23rd 2021 at 12:45:12 AM

Zone 1 - Diet, Aitera's Office

One of Aitera's jackal ears twitched in annoyance. There was no single cause for it, impatience and Myn and the subject being discussed all contributed to a feeling of frustration. Sector 6 continued to be a headache. This was no surprise, experience had proven that the continually expanding city always found ways to throw new surprises and wrenches at its governors. Once it had been the very ground on which the Diet now stood that had troubled her so. In 200 years, when the troubles of today would be little more than a hazy dream in the back of her mind, a ghost haunting the footnotes of history books, there would be new, fresh problems to bedevil them. That did not make her feel any better about it, however.

"I am grateful to you for your thoughtfulness on this matter," said Aitera. "Do you have a written copy of your current sermons? I doubt the broad strokes need much change, but I would like to inspect them all the same to be sure."

She paused to take a sip of her water, before continuing.

"As for Section 6, I will raise the matter with the Diet tomorrow. I doubt there'll be much opposition, but we must observe the proper forms and procedures in this."

Did it much matter to her, the specifics of Myn's philosophy? Not particularly.

The Monks had taught her as a child that all things were born into their proper station, and that each pursues their own private enlightenment in striving to perfect that station. Well, that had proven to be not quite true, but some of the lessons - that the celestial hierarchy calls upon all beings to honor, serve, and sacrifice for their superiors, and to provide protection, respect, and guidance to their inferiors - were worthy ones, even if the hierarchy did not exist in the same sense as it did back in her homeworld. She would do her part nonetheless, and Myn would do his.

She could always call on Jengbish if issues arose. In fact, she would call on him as soon as her business with Myn was concluded.

Edited by joergenjetsam on Jan 24th 2021 at 7:45:45 AM

Conception is sin Birth is pain Life is toil Death is inevitable

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