Calamity is a housewife
Vegetable, Entrance Hall
The girl who had just gotten herself vaporized saw fit to rant and rave about this 'shipping' that kept being mentioned for some reason, behind her own personal orchestra flavored her words to somehow make them more disgusting to hear.
"Can we just drop the subject? The more you rant, the more I'm going to need my ears cleaned out."
The thought that people would see him with anyone but Bulma apparently wasn't enough, but the idea that there were people who saw him with literally anyone he could've met in his life? Degeneracy of the highest order, and he wasn't going to hear any of it.
"Anyway, if you children aren't going to be done yelling at each other, I'll be taking a look at the premises. You might want to do the same as soon as you're ready."
And so Vegeta left to check out the rest of the house, likely ending up wherever Jimmy was.
"Shake the dust." - Anis Mojgani
"How can you say this after just saying you were going to help me in my own world?!" Akira exclaimed back at Issun, throwing his arms at his sides. He was still trying to figure out his own shit with his faith. Everyone had to ask how God could exist in any time of crisis, but Akira also knew that it was on humans to save themselves; uncle Noel would have said something like that. He wondered what he would have thought about getting proven right at the end of it all.
"I—" Akira sighed. He clenched his fists. He snarled. "I don't like having to hold myself together and it's shitty to do that if you know what Demons are like, Okami Amaterasu. I don't know how much control I have right now and I'm not going to test it in a room full of people." Akira looked at his fists and willed himself back down a little more, leaving his clothes ragged and stretched but still intact and himself back almost completely to his human form.
Breath of the Sun
Amaterasu and Issun
"If you were on the verge of turning into a monster after one little joke, then I don't think we're the root of your problem." Issun shrugged. Amaterasu affixed Akira with a sad gaze, her eyes briefly flickering over to 004 and back.
"Leap before you think. Go with the flow. That's the way the furball and I do things. Ammy thought that girl needed to loosen up, so she decided to play a little prank. If anything, that's nicer than how we usually go about knocking sense into people." Amaterasu exhaled, sharply, and Issun bounced, readjusting himself in her fur. "But I guess you have a point - not everyone's as used to weird stuff happening as us. C'mon, Ammy. Let's not mess with 'em anymore."
The wolf stretched out her limbs, rising from her haunches, and began to stroll away.
"Hey, you think they have sake here?" He asked. Amaterasu huffed bemusedly.
What is so amusing about this? Why do you take lives? How can you forget?
"Oooh, an Angel, that makes sense," Valkyrie said with a nod to Pit. Angel, why did that seem so familiar? Angel. Angel. Angel? The wings were a little different, but the kid did kind of remind her of a younger-looking angel like the one they found on Ashan, Azrael. It was such a big deal that he was an artificial angel, so this boy must have been the non-artificial type then. Cyril! That's right, the nice lady at the library was an Angel! It completely slipped her mind because her wings were metal, while this boy's looked more like her own, white and feather-like.
Some girl with long black hair in a pair of tails, a yellow bow, and an extremely short skirt which was lifted up for a brief moment, before she shouted loudly about it, drawing her attention. There was some... some pervert going around lifting skirts? If she sweat she would have wiped her brow in relief right now, as her own clothes were part of her body and unable to be removed by some sicko. But that still left the cloth that dangled freely from the back of her waist. She clenched her hands into fists. Anybody who tried something like that would have to discover if they could live with their head removed from their shoulders. Still, between Ionia being terrified of the 'shippers' and this new problem the twin-tailed girl revealed, she would have to be vigilant on behalf of the human women here.
"Who am I? What's a Soul Gear?" she asked Pit rhetorically. "Soul Gears are the weapons made by the greatest wizard of all, the Grand Wizard Epsilon! And I'm Valkyrie, the final Soul Gear!" She gave him a thumbs-up and smiled.
"So what do angels do?" she added.
King of Lame-Style
004
004 follows Amatarasu out of the room with his eyesight. Crisis averted he guessed. Leap before you leap, yeah because that sounds like it would work consistently right, the going with the flow part was fine until you impose it to anybody else. In any case he might as well check on the transforming kid.
"hey, Akira was it? the name's 004, are you holding up ok?" he asks in concern extending a hand to be shaken.
The graceless warrior, wielder of the edgeless blade, prophet of the old religions, writer of fluent nonsense, saviour of soul and song.
The Mighty Pen
Kage - House - Kill Them Back
Smiley gave her usual rant to let the new grunts know what we were about, and while it was still crazy and stupid, it was the kind that I could get behind. I liked it a lot better this time and found a feral grin spreading across my face.
"Works for me," I growled. Of course, if I saw an opening to take out one of the others without them seeing who it was, I might just take it anyway. Unless they recorded it and played back a holo-pict. Right...scratch that idea.About then, Legs and Knuckles both showed back up and the latter didn't look any too pleased to see me. Well, frag her too.
"Knuckles," I said, pulling my lieutenant's cap a little tighter on my head. She seemed to dislike the thing for some reason. I know I'd prefer a helmet, but sometimes the officer's badge is the right thing for getting attention. Oh, look, Eyeball was back too. Too bad, the little shit never did that much good that I could see. And so was the Chaos fragger, Groxhead. Of course he was. I was starting to think the things I was having to work with were specifically chosen to piss me off.
"Figured out you can't solve every problem by punching it yet?" I asked Knuckles, then looked over to Eyeball.
"Depends on the ladies," I answered him. "You've never been to some planets out there. The women there have no standards. They might even take you, but I doubt it."
Smiley was talking again so I had to be quiet and listen. This time it was about the importance of snapping up anyone who'd make a half-decent dupe. Yeah, I'd learned my lesson there. No way in hell am I staring down the barrel of Smiley's gun again. The others would just have to find people. I wasn't any good judge of character except with soldiers. I just grunted and nodded and thank the Emperor, the conversation moved on to the group name. In another minor miracle, it looked like Smiley's happy side was amiable to changing that stupid name, although Shitweed - Eyeball was good at naming people if nothing else and I liked that one - had an even dumber suggestion, which was quite a feat.
"We need a name that's simple to get so even brain-dead noble idiots understand and that
makes them fear us," I said, crossing my arms. "There's some Guard regiments out there with
names like that. Fragged if I can remember'em, though." I sure wasn't gonna let these nuts
use the Last Chancers, that was for people who still had a shot at redeeming their crimes.
Smiley wouldn't go for it anyway.
—
Confession-Cam
I sat on the edge of the chair, lasgun laid casually across my lap and a murderous glare on my face.
"You have no idea how close I was to trying to knife that bitch warden even after she pasted the woman. The last prison I was in I'm pretty sure I went crazy for a while. The Colonel put me in solitary for months except for the guards. Most people would've broken. I learned to stay patient. But with him, I knew I was getting out, otherwise he'd have just had me killed. No such luck with these fraggers. I'm gonna have to watch myself even closer. If I go crazy again, there's no coming back. I'm already not doing good when the only name I can think of for our team is one of Groxhead's. If it weren't a Chaos warband, the World Eaters would fit us pretty good."
edited 9th Feb '18 8:49:14 PM by RedCedar
A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. -Lao Tzu
Akira shook 004's hand. It was fucking bizarre, to have so many people ready and willing to help him. He smiled a little bit through his grim face. "I've met two gods now, and they both love to toy with their people. I don't know why. I don't know why I had to lose everything, or why now I'm being given a chance to get it back, maybe. So the answer's no, 004."
Akira also already needed some new clothes. He hated how easily his transformation left him naked.
That One Gal
Great. First the girl with the skirt and now this guy's naked. Magnus would've said he can't catch a break, but those two are probably having it worse than he is.
"Hey man, it's okay," he said, making sure to keep his eyes on Akira's face. "Trust me, I know a lot of gods too. Toying is something they do. But since you have a chance to fix things now...don't let it go, alright?"
Magnus held up his thumb for the camera.
"Heimdall was more interested in a good selfie than stopping Loki from getting free."
He extended his index finger.
"Odin pretended to be a half-troll in Valhalla for years without saying anything to anyone, so everything fell apart for a while."
A second finger came up.
"Thor streamed prime time television on his hammer and kills his goats for fun."
He stared long and hard into the camera, giving it a slow 'yeah, that's right' nod.
"Hey, wait, you don't think Thor's watching this show now, do you?...Promise you won't put this stuff in."
King of Lame-Style
004
The cyborg couldn't help but wince. Those words, that tone, that life... that had been him at some point not so long ago. "speaking as someone that's been there. Minus the gods, technically at least... It is a new chance, you can pick yourself up, and you'll be better at the end of it. I don't mean forget the pain or pretend it isn't there, but carrying it becomes easier." He said offering a grim smile. He was never much of a smiler. "Now, lets go and get you some clothes, I could use a fresh set myself."
The graceless warrior, wielder of the edgeless blade, prophet of the old religions, writer of fluent nonsense, saviour of soul and song.
Vampire Hunter
Chun-Li, Following Ammy
As Ammy demonstrated her abilities as the goddess Amaterasu left, Chun-Li followed her, ignoring Jan completely as she did so, "So you are Amaterasu, the sun goddess of Japan?"
"Why did they have to bring back that racist jerk?" Chun-Li looked crossed at the confession cam, before shaking her head and sighing. "And now his brother too!"
Juri, Entrance Hall
"I'm okay with that," Juri ignored Jan and nodded to Gloomy Tira's plan of recruitment, before Flowey questioned the name. Kage made his own comment about the name, and Juri nodded. "Yeah, Murder Buddies is a bit too blatant... If we want to murder people before they try to murder us, a name like that isn't going to help."
"And Kage, punching the problem has helped me twice so far," Juri chuckled at Kage, before turning to Jan to whisper to him. "Personally, I think he's only here because the Murder Buddies were popular and he got popularity from that."
Wizard Needs Food Badly
Since that was something humans, nightmares and all else inbetween reveled in, Ms. Achtelnote got in on the fun. Switching from a Night on Bald Mountain to a Bolero, the ensemble behind her began a much more down-tempo, upbeat, and less threatening piece.
"Well Pit, Valkyrie, I am the Maestro, Ionia Achtelnote," she proudly said, hand on her chest and doing her best to look down on them. "Do your best to remember that name. I expect nothing less."
With those kind words out of the way, Ionia moved on to her next topic of some import: "Whatever, angels don't matter. They're just winged people that muck around in the skies for no good reason. What truly matters is that our friend Pit, who must undoubtedly be attached to some greater power, should immediately contact that diety to get us out. Don't you believe that to be wise, Pit? After all, if you couldn't go with my other suggestion..."
Morgana-Regular Cat Form
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lady Valkyrie," Morgana said. This girl seemed... a little bit slow on the uptake, but he wasn't about to make an unnecessary enemy. This winged boy Pit called himself an angel, but for all Morgana knew, he could just be delusional, or someone given power by a being who claimed to be a goddess. Valkyrie claimed to not be a human at all, but a living weapon. That might explain her very literal grasp of words then. And the overly loud, rude woman who just couldn't resist blasting some form of music was Ionia. He'd remember that as well.
"Pfft, why would I want to get out of here?" he said. "Don't any of you have some kind of dream or ambition? Do you really want to escape so quickly and throw away your chance to make it real? Unlike you"- he glanced at Ionia. "I'm not a quitter. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see what's around here."
And with that, he made his way over to one of the other rooms, spotting the white wolf taking her leave as well. He thought he'd heard some commotion from over in that direction. Maybe he wasn't competing with a delusional dog after all...
Tenko Chabashira
Issun's explanation didn't calm Tenko at all. If anything, it made her even angrier. "So you think it's funny, you degenerate? Well, I hope you enjoy THIS!" She rushed toward the shining bug, trying to grab him. If she succeed, she then promptly launch him with all her forces toward the direction he was going. Serves him right for acccusing his own dog!
Wether she managed to do that or not, she then turn toward the girl who pointed out how short her skirt was. "From right under it? As if such a coincidence was possible! And It's not like I wanted it to be so short, it's part of my uniform!"
She then somewhat calmed down a little. Tough she was still angry, she was not seeking to beat up every male in the room, which was a marked improvement. She heard the newcomer's comment about gods and decided to comment upon it. "There's no way that mutt is the real Amaterasu! I mean, male gods doing such stuff wouldn't be surprising, but an actual goddess would never do such a tasteless act. It's probably just a magic dog trained by that bug to help him in doing stupid pranks. And anyway, if a god would screw over their believer in them like that, then they don't deserve to be adored."
edited 10th Feb '18 5:57:51 AM by Alecoene
Did you know this section has a character limit?
Elsa - Not Taking This Well; Main Hall
Meanwhile, over in one of the room’s corners, a young woman
◊ was pacing and breathing heavily, trying to stave off a panic attack.
Given the thin layer of frost coating that corner of the room, she was failing.
This was probably the strangest and scariest event in Elsa’s young life, including the attempt on her life and the thirteen years of fearing her icy murder magic. Torn from the Earth, thrown into a house suspended in the luminiferous aether, and surrounded by people and creatures mystical. A strange woman with strange abilities claiming that this was “Reality TV”, that her abilities stemmed from technology, and that untold numbers of people were watching, though Elsa could not see where they were watching from.
And on top of that, this had stolen her away from Anna. To separate them again, only a year after they had managed to come together, was just cruel. A year was not, had not been enough to make up for thirteen years of neglect.
Speaking of neglect, her responsibilities. Elsa was Arendelle’s Queen, she needed to be there for it. Anna would do a good- decent- Kristoff would help Anna do an adequate job of ruling in her stead, but if she was gone for too long Arendelle’s political position would falter.
That settled it, then. She needed to go home. Demanding it would do nothing, as the death and resurrection of that Ionia woman had proved, but at the very least she could inquire how she could shorten their stay.
Straightening herself and letting the queenly mask replace the worry and fear that marked her face, Elsa dissolved the accidental frost with a wave of her hand, and strode elegantly towards Sidney Knight.
“Excuse me, Miss Knight? While I understand that we’re not allowed to leave at this moment, I have to ask: when exactly will you be finished with us? I have…”
Elsa paused. Declaring herself the Queen of a nation wasn’t entirely necessary, as Knight would know already. And the others here would definitely treat her differently. This was an opportunity to just be Elsa, not the Queen of Arendelle.
“I have duties that I have to attend to.”
Lizard Metabolism
Jan
"I dunno, I like Murder Buddies. It's a pretty honest name, if you ask me. Plus it rolls off the tongue smoothly." Frankly, he couldn't give a flying fuck about a name, but it was amusing enough for him, so he saw no reason to go for something more pretentious like what Shitweed and Kage were trying to push.
"Fuck yeah we're popular." Jan whispered back to Juri with a grin and a thumbs up. "I guess they're waiting until T's finally sick of his yes man shit."
Luke - Confession Cam
"In hindsight, I should have realized that most of the people brought here are going to be complete idiots." Luke spoke, side-eyeing the camera. "The murderous thugs Jan hangs out with are at the very least keeping to themselves, but all these overemotional teenagers and" His face turned sour for a moment before it returned to a more casual disdain. "so-called gods and what have you are something that gets on your nerves fast."
"It would be easy enough if all we had to do was to fight, but no, we have to interact with them as well. Eventually, we'll have to learn how to get along, if only not to go mad from our predicament."
Luke
"Not with that attitude. Keep that up and people will be killing you for sport." Luke finished his cig, casually crushing it in his hand. "And as we've seen, you'd just be back not worse for wear."
The kids in the corner prattling about the end of the world, Devilmen and gods decided to ignore him completely. That's fine. He took Amaterasu's little prank without much response beyond an irritated grunt. He did not need a schoolgirl tantrum. It was ridiculous enough that she called herself an Ultimate in "Neo-Aikido". At least they both agreed that this Amaterasu was likely nothing more than a hack trained by its tiny rider.
Another woman thought herself important enough to think she can leave sooner. These people just never learned. Perhaps this was enough of fooling around. Deciding to excuse himself, Luke made his way deeper into the house, following after Jimmy and Vegeta. It was probably prudent to get a look at the premises.
How do lizards fly?
"God orchestrated the extinction of humanity in order to tech Satan a lesson, Tenko." Akira spoke without turning around to actually look at her. "Satan himself betrayed everything he was to attempt to overthrow him and failed. I don't think she'd be above it."
The desolation of the island they used to live on when Akira returned to it stuck with him the most. Drained of all color, facing down Satan, Akira couldn't do anything but scream at threaten. He was past that now. It hadn't worked the first time.
He nodded to 004 and made for the bedrooms, trying to hold his shirt together while he could. "Thanks man. Maybe it is a chance to reset. I heard God did the same thing once. Maybe it's a smart move..."
Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Fist
Estelle just suppressed a small chuckle. "You remind me of a close friend back home. Listen, my name is Estellise, but you can call me Estelle." she said approaching the angry girl, and tucking the instruction manual under her arm and holding out her hand to her. "I think we should try to get along, we're stuck here after all."
Though her smile somewhat disappeared when the guy with the scruffy hair started talking about genocide and rebellion. "I don't know who this God, or Satan is but they don't sound like nice people. And I don't think they came along as well."
PM box is Closed, Indefinitely Friend Code: 3368-4181-6850
Breath of the Sun
Amaterasu and Issun
"The one and only, along with her handsome companion Issun." Issun smiled. "Glad someone believes in her. I know the furball ain't much to look at, but-"
And then the girl with the skirt from before grabbed him and chucked him as hard as she could. Amaterasu had seen the girl approaching, of course, and simply leaped up and caught Issun in her mouth, snatching him from the air. He jumped out of her jaws a moment later, shaking off slobber.
"Why you!" Issun prepared to jump at her, but Amaterasu pinned him under a paw. "Oof. Geez, furball, you really made a mess of it this time."
She merely smiled, releasing him. Issun jumped back on her head as she turned back to the entrance hall. "Ammy?"
Her tail began to move again - first, she drew a circle on the floor in front of Tenko, and a small patch of flowers sprung from her ink, as if presenting themselves to the girl. And then she painted over Akira's tattered clothes, and in an instant, the destroyed garments were made whole once again. Undoubtedly, this was her way of apologizing.
"Heh." Amaterasu, still smiling, turned away again, heading for the stairs - she'd definitely smelled a garden of some kind up there. "Now there's the furball I know." He turned back to Chun Li. "Sorry about that, uh, Miss? I don't think we caught your name, actually."
edited 10th Feb '18 8:51:25 AM by kagescorpionakki
What is so amusing about this? Why do you take lives? How can you forget?
Tira considered as everyone spoke up about the name, until Jan made his own opinion known.
I always liked Jany the most. Not that I don't like everyone in the Murder Buddies, even Kagy can be funny in his own weird way sometimes, But Jany really just clicked with me, you know? He likes having fun, he likes killing people, and he doesn't really make any kind of fuss about most things.
Hmmm.....I think Jany's right, the name's really, erm, honest. I mean, we all like killing people, and we're all buddies, right? I don't think you can get much more honest then that. And sorry Flowey, I don't really like that idea. If anyone else has a better idea, I'll hear it, but right now the name stays.
She then turned toward the loud group of summoned things that were still making noise, and raised her voice.
Hey, fuckfaces, turn it the fuck down over there! I'm trying to have a fucking conversation!
Sidney turned to the girl who asked her a question.
"Like I explained earlier, if you preform well, the producers will probably be willing to return you to the exact moment you left, give or take a few seconds. It'll be like you never left. So-"
At this moment, her tablet started beeping rapidly. Her reading glasses appeared on her face again as she looked down.
"Oh, newcomers. That was quick. Sorry, need to deal with this, hold any questions for a few seconds, ok?"
The three newcomers would suddenly appear in the room, restrained in a stasis field and unable to move.
"Hello newcomers, and welcome to Pandemonium!" She said in a much more lively voice then she had been using most of the time while dealing with the contestants. "You have been brought here from your own universe to compete in a reality TV competition against people from across the multiverse! You will live in this house with the contestents, compete in challenges against them, and at the end, one winner will emerge. The prize? Anything your heart desires! You could bring a loved one back to life, change history, reverse an incurable condition, nothing is beyond our power!"
She pressed a large red button, freeing the newcomers.
"If you have any questions, now is the time to ask them."
edited 10th Feb '18 9:43:55 AM by Meanken
Flowey
Flowey took the rejection with stride. He tried to show his indiference trough his expression, but It was pretty hard since he didn't have any way to shru other than his face. "Heh, it's okay. I was just throwing ideas, it's all. Anyway, I have things to do. See you later." He then burrowed away.
Apparently, there was a garden in the building. He wanted to know if a certain plant was growing there. He went up and up until he reached it. He then came out of the ground and searched for any golden flowers that might have been there.
Tenko Chabashira
Tenko was taken aback by Amaterasu's apparent show of apology. She stood a second not knowing what to do before giving a sigh. "Alright, I forgive you, but you better not do that stunt again, got that?" She made sure to make a stern face when she stared at Ammy going away.
She smiled and accepted the other girl's offer of friendship and grabbed her hand. "Nice to meet you, Estelle. My name is Tenko Chabashira. I know we must cooperate if want to escape this place, it's just that..." She then frowned again and stared at Issun. While she forgiven the wolf, she sure didn't forgive him for taunting her. "Some degenerate males make this difficult, if you know what I mean."
She then heard the offer made by the lady who was working for their captor. She decided to partly ask and partly complain about something that bugged her for a while. "Excuse me, but we do have different bedrooms for men and women, right? Because letting women sleep near degenerates males is just begging for bad things to happen! I, for one, don't trust them to contain their urges, especially in the dark!."
edited 10th Feb '18 12:57:56 PM by Alecoene
Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Fist
Estelle was just a little bit confused. Tenko really didn't seem to like guys. Maybe that was why she got so angry, but Estelle had shared rooms with men before and nothing ever happened to her. "I'm sure it'll be fine." she said hoping to comfort Tenko a little. "I've slept in the same room as men before and it turned out okay. They even usually let me have the soft bed. You sound like you've met some especially horrible guys, I'm really sorry about that."
edited 10th Feb '18 11:57:09 AM by Azure
PM box is Closed, Indefinitely Friend Code: 3368-4181-6850
"Nope." She said to Tenko. "Everyone sleeps in one large bedroom. You have gender sorted bathrooms to get changed in for privacy."
Rinoa
Rinoa stumbled slightly out of stasis, groggy and disoriented from the sudden change.
"Wha-?"
As her ears took in all that was said, her eyes wandered around the room in a confused daze, her mind drifting back to what she could last remember.
The starlit sky, him beside me as watched them, lying down at our special place...'
A shiver ran down her spine. This was similar to when they'd gotten stranded in time, except this time, it seemed like she wouldn't be able to call him to her. Her ears perked up at the mention of a prize, a wish, just like in fairy tales. Undoing history...she knew what she would change.
"We...We can go back eventually, right? Please tell me we can...!"
There's an edge in her voice, a slight twinge of desperation in her face. Her hand flew up to her necklace, gripping both it and the Griever ring replica attached to it firmly.
Pit- Entrance Hall
"Perhaps it's for the best..." Pit responded to Vegeta, before he went away what was essentially a huff.
"Right, good idea. I'll do so as soon as I'm done here."
"Huh. It's like getting kidnapped against your will to participate in a reality show makes people rather grumpy."
Now responding to Valkyrie, Pit gained a bit of confidence in his voice.
"Well, not all angels have the same role, but generally they serve some form of God or Goddess. I myself am a Servant of Lady Palutena, the Goddess of Light! I'm actually the captain of the guard."
He settled down a bit with his next statment. "I can't say I ever heard of Epsilon, though, probably has something to do with coming from different dimensions. And Weapon? You look like an Angel." Pit said, missing how that could ever be taken wrong.
"Well, Hello Ionia. I'll try to keep it in mind."
She then asked about Pit contacting deities, within some insults.
"I'll just ignore that part... It's a good idea, but see, here's the thing... I already tried to contact Palutena. I couldn't reach her. I'm guessing whoever brought us here cut me off from her. I've been able to contact her in other dimensions before... albeit they usually had an opening. Let me try someone else."
"Viridi? Hey, you there? .... Darn."
"No, definitely can't contact anyone. Look's like we're on our own." Pit tried to suppress the notion "Though, I suppose while we're here, we should get to know each other. What's a Maestro?"
004 - Confessional
004 tried to make himself comfortable in front of the camera, but realized it was a fools errand. "the house was nice ok? I'll admit that much. Good facilities, if I wasn't kidnapped I'd be more receptive to them. The whole situation had everybody tense and just... in the worst mood. Honestly it was just a matter of time until something like what Amatarasu did happened."
Main Hall
004 stepped up to both Ammy and Issun "I don't care if I'm risking divine wrath here, but don't you think we're stressed enough without a trickster god pulling that kind of crap here" he scolded in a calm manner "We are in this together, but you can't force someone to mellow out with a prank like that, or at all, I'd think a god would be wiser than that"
The graceless warrior, wielder of the edgeless blade, prophet of the old religions, writer of fluent nonsense, saviour of soul and song.