Priscilla, Skiing Down a Winter Wonderland

"Oh?" Priscilla asked Lancelot with a wry smile, evidently interested in what he had planned. "And what would that be?"

Wolfskull Cave

After looking hard enough at their spellbooks for a moment, they would suddenly vanish right out of the hands of the Alternates reading them. If they opened up their ever-so-helpful 'menu' in their VR GUI, they would see that the "Detect Dragons" spell was now in their list of spells (Duration 90 seconds).

"Well you've taken enough time out of my day, get on with it, hunt your dragons," Potema told the trio. "The most successful strategy is to strike it quite often, and not allow it to strike you."

The werewolf "king" would show them out if they decided to leave right then, leading them back to the mouth of the cave where they would be left to their own devices.

Temple of Meridia

"Of course you won't be able to collect the riches and items from Hag's End," Meridia explained to Lucina. "Your Nord and Imperial friends already allowed my new shopkeeper to load them into his cart and return them here. We'll just need to clear some space for the alchemy lab...."

She paused.

"That's odd..." she continued. "I sense someone coming. It almost feels as if an Aedra and a Dragon... no, the World Eater? Here? Ready yourself, Noble Lucina, and your companions as well. I fear you may be called upon to fight the greatest battle of your lives in these coming minutes. Should you fail, we shall all be doomed."

"Oh wow, you want to know my name Mistress Gwen?" The adoring fangirl asked Gwen in a state of half-surprise, half-wonder as she stood up and started bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet. "Froaide Woodcutter, on account of me cutting wood for my village... at least until the dragons attacked and burned everything down. But now I've found my true calling serving our wonderful Lady Meridia!"

"Doin' well," the man told Carmilla, pausing his hammering for a moment. "Was a blacksmith before this Justiciar business. Ruined my reputation those bastards did, but I wouldn't be able to get my old job back home I wouldn't. Man needs a job to have a purpose. Just so happens your god-woman needed one. Place to sleep over me head, food to eat, nice sturdy walls, damned better fate than lettin' these elf bastards put me in the stocks for a week and then hang me by me neck."

Haafingar Downhill Derby

The spider's parasailing journey came to a quick and brutal conclusion as Jack-O' and her wrecking ball of death smashed through it like a truck-kun, leaving the rest of the group falling further and further behind while the log surfed on.

"Good, one less stupid spider!" Alduin happily cheered on at the sight. She winked and threw Jack-O' a thumbs up.

"Fssssss!" one of the spiders hissed at Tetra, curling up into a spasming ball of limbs and agony after she shot it in its countless eyes with her pistol, dying quickly enough. The one behind it also started walking funny as half its legs seemed to be limp, but it had managed to shield itself from part of the impact by allowing the lead spider to bravely take the brunt of the shots.

"I really wouldn't mind knowing what that all was about just now...." Paarthurnax said from above and behind them, flying a ways off and trailing the pack of Alternates at a distance.

Tiki - Haafingar Too

"Take that, you brute!" Tiki said, slamming her axe into the other spider Tetra had wounded and finishing it off. "You're quite handy with that weapon of yours."

She swiped the head of her axe at the snow to clean it off, and then she flapped her wings vigorously to catch up to Tetra.

"We'd better hurry up if we don't want the rest of those spiders to catch up with us," she said. She looked down at Tetra and held out her hand. "If you'd like a chance to fly on out of here, take my hand and we'll at least soar high enough that they can't bother us."

Tessa - Markarth, Safest City in the Reach

"Argh! We just need to humiliate this Ondolemar, right?" Tessa asked rhetorically. "And now that we have his book, he can't use his special terminal commands either I hope. I think I know just how to humiliate him."

She balled up her hands into fists, and walked up to the elf as he was being harassed by a crowd of people. There she stood, a short half-naked pale-haired girl dressed up in robotic apparel that probably looked like the most ridiculous armor your typical Nord had ever seen, sucking in a deep breath as she prepared to scream her head off.

"Mister Ondolemar! This one's for Santa, you big jerk!" she shouted, and then threw a punch right at his face. And then she'd keep on throwing punches at him until it either proved futile because he was still immortal, she risked killing him because he wasn't, or else just got tired.

If a small girl punching the crap out of someone while a group of burly Nords wasn't embarrassing, Tessa didn't know what was.

Umu, Not What I'd Call A Prank

Self-admittedly, Nero Claudius Augustus Germanicus wasn't much knowledgeable in the way of humor. Her area of expertise was more in the vein of grand, outstanding performances that moved the hearts and souls of the listeners and viewers alike. Punching an elf to death(?) wasn't what she had in mind.

"...well, we can still summon something of renown while he's being distracted..." She offered, looking at the proceedings with concern.

"Hey, don't gimme that look. I could have turned her into a smear on the wall. I didn't, 'cause I'm a nice guy." He grumbled at being silently admonished by Undine, folding his arms defensively. "Pretty sure she would, if the tables were turned." Ah, but nothing for it. It was time to find another thing to do and fight off the encroaching boredom.

Lo and behold, a tiny porker strutted into view. Cell regarded it curiously as he slowly crouched down, his tail swishing back and forth above his head. Too small to be sating, and it probably was someone's here. "Hello, little guy. Wanna go grab something to eat?" Visiting kitchen seemed like a prudent endeavor.

The good news was that the encroaching swarm of sweet(?) death wasn't particularly resistant to blows. Maria's gun, in particular, was doing an excellent job at keeping the once shot Blobulon in place, once its tiny cluster shards came out flying: they did not divide any further than twice. Raz's gun, meanwhile, pierced right through the targets, making it useful for hitting multiple ones at once. The Blobulons' inhuman courage meant little in the face of combat inadequacy - thus back-up was required.

The rank-and-file were joined by two square-shaped gelatinous foes, floating in the air with a stern countenance of a veteran soldier. Two other jellies appeared with them, both crimson red and positively irate, charging at the gungeoneers with grand speed. As they did, the cubes glowed faintly before exploding in a small flash of light, releasing a crown of projectiles. Unfortunately, friendly fire was not invented in the Gungeon, and so it passed by the others harmlessly.

Maria took a moment to jump behind the table, taking down one more Blobulon in the process. "Looks like they've a set range. We can't let them get close enough to shoot that raptor." She called out to the others, reloading the Scrambler.

And thus everyone got what they wanted. Ranma felt the Broccoli power course through his veins, granting her a fabulous power of 10% higher damage and speed. It may not sound like much, but it's the placebo effect of growing stronger that makes it incredible. Trust me on this. There were no fabulous feelings for neither Noire nor Neptuneman, though the latter did get an explanation how a Blank works in the first place, etched into his mind: use it when overwhelmed with bullets and make them disappear.

"A word of advice, free of charge: get your keenest-eyed folks ready." The shopkeep cautioned them. "That fellow in the next room will only let you through if you dazzle him with splendorous gunplay."

Amazingly, no one in the history of the Gungeon thought of firing right into the eye of the beholder, er, beholster before. The beast seemed quite surprised. Ordinary bullets would no doubt perish in the laser blast ahead, but firing a Molotov right in someone's retina, a height of audacity, did the job exquisitely.

Beholster exploded into a shower of gore and glitched jpegs, sending its high-speed shards all over the place. Unfortunately, the guns it used were ruined in the blast - but it was one less monster to take care of. Seeing that someone had found a weakness, the remaining Beholster floated back, firing two of its pistols, and a third gun of unknown use - this one produced a tiny little Beholster-esque critter with a revolver which began taking potshots at the party, strafing on its tiny tentacles to the side.

Scott was thus given a Stone Dome - an ever so apt representation of himself, glowering menacingly at Kawakaze now that it's been given away. He and Tenko would learn one more thing: friendly fire did not exist, at least not in a direct form. While the nega-teenager was thrown indeed, it did barely a thing besides giving him a brief air time. Similarly, the flames rupturing towards the Ultimate found no purchase, should they hit.

The little red cursor stared before it approached Kawakaze, tugging on her finger as the one person of relative sanity in this team of hopelessness, pointing her towards the door.

Edited by FergardStratoavis on Feb 25th 2019 at 2:11:22 PM

Tetra (Haafingar) - Take My Hand, We'll Make It I Swear

With Tiki swooping down to finish off the spider she had shot at, Tetra couldn't help but puff up some in pride at being complimented on her sharpshooting skills, and once Tiki flapped her wings to catch up to her, she was about to speak up and say that she was pretty damn good with that axe...but the sudden offer of holding her hand and soaring made her pause, before taking Tiki's hand.

"So, what, do I ride on your back, do you carry my hands in yours, or what?" The only point of reference she had as far as flying was that brief moment she was whisked away from the Forsaken Fortress by Medli and Prince Kolami, and even then, she was sort of out of it at the time; being choked to near unconsciousness by a crazed warlord doesn't really help with keeping memories. Who knew?

"Huh, that was something." Flexing her arms for a bit and feeling she had a bit more explosiveness in her then usual by popping out solid biceps on what was usually a slender and very womanly smooth arm, Ranma then simply tested her newfound buff for a bit before smirking.

"Yeah, I think this is alright. I'm pretty quick and reactive even if I don't know how to gun so I'll take point I guess. See you guys on the other side." With that, Ranma then marched off with prideful steps towards the challenge as she got ready to deal with the latest obstacle for her teammates' sake.

"How convenient. It's like the Dragonball Radar but without the ball part." Slightly amused by how everything had gone, Android 21 then began slowly levitating off the ground. "If any of you desire a ride, please grab on. I'll be heading off soon." Whether or not anyone took her on the offer, the scientist would then blast off after waiting for a while before using her spell to ping for her next meal some dragons.

The elf turned as Tessa stormed toward him, laughing.

"And what do you hope to accomplish against the might of a g-"

Then a single punch dropped his health by half, and he halted mid-boast

"What?"

Then a second punch caused him to stagger backward, falling to one knee as his health dropped to zero.

"Wait! I yield, I yield!"

Around the room, everyone took a moment to let what just happened sink in. Then, everyone in the room started laughing.

"Look at the puny milk drinker!"

"Pathatic!"

"Beaten by a welp of a girl!"

"What happened to your unlimited power, elf!?"

Slowly, he staggered back to his feet, his health regenerating by a very slim amount. Then he lifted his hands, and sparks started to come off of them.

"This place shall be your grave!"

Another punch would be all it would take to send him back to his knee.

"No......not....like....this...."

This pattern would continue, the laughter growing louder with each defeat and the jeers growing louder as he was beaten, yet still seemed unable to die.

The rest of it passed quickly, and before she knew it, Lady found herself back in the shrine, looking around at the refurbished area and raising an eyebrow as Gwen was almost assaulted by one of the new cultists.

"Someone please watch that one. She's got "Stalker" written all over her."

And then some announcement was made about some sudden incoming threat.

"Er.....I'm sorry, but.....World Eater?" Lady asked. "You, erm.....you mind explaining in a bit more detail?"

Tira was busying herself doing various flips and dodges to avoid incoming attacks when she saw one of the enemies explode. And something was missing, something that instantly sent her into her angrier mode.

What the fuck! There's no blood? Where the fuck is the blood, I want blood!

She instantly raised her Soulgun and started unloading directly at the other thing's eye.

Show me blood! Bleed, bleed for me, damnit!

Gwenpool - Nearer My God To Thee; Temple Of Meridia

Froaide Woodcutter? Well, that was a mouthful. No innuendo intended, of course.

"Froaide. Fro? Are you okay if I call you Fro?" Gwen asked, picking herself off the ground. "I just think it-"

Gwen was at this point distracted from her... friend's tragic backstory by what Meridia said, and the question Lady asked in response. Her eyes widened, she gasped sharply, and she began pulling her rocket launcher off her back.

"Get inside, now!" She ordered Froaide, before turning to Lady. "Alduin the World Eater. Biggest, baddest dragon in Skyrim. He's the guy bringing the dragons back. He's the final boss, the guy that you're supposed to fight at the end of the game. Tough, powerful..."

Gwen gulped, and turned her eyes to the sky.

"...and completely immortal. So if anyone has something called an Elder Scroll in their inventory, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Edited by GeekCodeRed on Feb 26th 2019 at 8:49:20 PM

Shrine to Meridia

"Oh wow, a nickname?" Gwen's #1 fan happily replied. "You can call me whatever you want, Gwen."

She winked, and then ran over to the door to the shrine. Just before going out of sight, she leaned over slightly and blew a kiss her way, then headed in.

"The Pink One has it right," Meridia explained to Lady. "The World-Eater, Alduin, First-Born of Akatosh, destined to consume the world and through its destruction bring about a new age. I happen to have a bit of a vested interest in this world, as you can imagine."

There was a momentary pause.

"And as far as I can tell, he's some distance right behind you, approaching at a quick pace," Meridia added. Over in the woods, there was something making a loud rumbling as it drove quickly through the trees, and then suddenly emerged....

Haafingar

"Acheeeyyyeeew!" Alduin sneezed. She shook her head, then fluttered her wings and flew down towards Lancelot, Priscilla, and Jack-O's log, landing on it so she could enjoy surfing down it right along with them. "I'm booooooooooooooooooooooooored."

She suddenly paused and pointed ahead.

"Oh hey, look at that" Narrowing her eyes, the log popped out of the treeline and into a clearing of some sort. Up ahead, there was a shrine with a large statue of a woman. There were also some people who were of no consequence to her, but whom the Alternates might recognize as some of their friends from the Van. "That's Meridia's statue, we're more than halfway to Solitude by now. We'll be able to go to a tavern or shop in no time!"

Tiki - Haafingar Hangout

"Well I need to use my wings so perhaps not my back," Tiki said. "For a short trip just a hand should suffice, you can throw an arm around my shoulder if that grows to be uncomfortable."

Without much warning she was off, squeezing hard on Tetra's hand to keep it from slipping, her wings flapping hard so she could fly after the log that the other three Alternates had zoomed away on.

"But after that little stunt you just pulled off, I hardly doubt you'll have any trouble with holding on, will you?"

Tessa - Pranksylvania

"Hmmph!" Tessa hmmped triumphantly. It looked like Ondolemar was still - some might say unfortunately - immortal, but at least he could get thrashed right up. Which was good, because it meant she was able to punch him without killing him. A lot. But after going at it for a while, she decided that enough was enough, and anything extra wouldn't contribute to their goal - if hitting him half a dozen times in the same way wasn't enough embarrassment, then they would need a new approach.

"Sooooooooooooo........" she looked at Santa and the others smugly - but mostly Santa. "I think I handled that pretty well, don't you think?"

She fiddled with her hair slightly as she spoke.

"Um.... Did that do it? Was making all the people in town laugh at him for being a wimp enough of a prank?" she asked. "Or do you want to do something more?"

Edited by nman on Feb 27th 2019 at 3:07:28 AM

Tetra (Haafingar Hangout) - In the Hand of a Tiki

"You think that's impressive, you oughta see me at home!" Tetra boasted, feeling rather proud of herself for inspiring everyone to head down in style. Soon enough, Tetra noticed the statue in the distance, as well as some people milling about in front of it once they got closer. "Hang on, aren't those some of our guys down there?"

Susan could fly, but not this fast holy shit

21's speed was gonna break her tiny, malnourished neck if she hung her head back and let her horns catch any drag! This might've been just a worry of Susan's, but she really didn't wanna risk it. She hung her head low, and took in the rapidly-passing sights of the dismally grey world below.

"Heeeey, just a question! Don't you think you could just ram into the dragons like this and kill them instantly?!"

"...Yes. One more thing."

Santa pulled up the book, and started flipping between pages rapidly. This was a great humiliation, of course, but there was a certain comic edge that they were missing right now. That god of cheese and duality, the madman, he'd never appreciate something so simple as a public tearing down.

They had to do something funny, and Tessa had given her a...tiny...spark of imagination.

Magic wasn't her forte obviously, but this Rider could at least read passages from a book.

"Player, period place at me 00023AAE!"

The first invocation brought a hulking monstrosity of a man into the world, suddenly fading into existence right in front of their faces! This was the Giant, something below the races of men in the world in intelligence but far above it in strength! It immediately bellowed and raised its club in the air—

Santa cast her hand in its direction and shouted, "Add to faction zerozerozeroonenineeightzeronine!"

Suddenly, the giant became perfectly docile. It looked at them with a brief air of confusion in its eyes, and tilted its warty and lumpen head. Lowering its massive tree trunk of a club, it had no ill intention—

"Set scale period ten! Set AV Speed-Mult five! Set AV aggression 100 to NPC 00124B9!"

And like a lightning bolt, after a rapid fire incantation from the saint the giant spun around. It was now about the size of a toddler, and it ambled around with rapid and unsynced movement. There was only one target in its eyes: that accursed elf, who thought himself a God!

The giant roared, and with its tiny size it sounded more like a very high pitched "waaaaaaaaa".

If it could connect its club to the incapacitated elf's shins, it'd still hit with the strength of a full size giant and send him flying across the room. This was something it'd repeat, singlemindedly and ignorant of any other person in the room.

Why did she do this? Santa found the idea of a funny little human running around really fast to be funny, to be honest.

Edited by wikkit on Mar 7th 2019 at 3:16:20 AM

Lucina - Temple of Meridia

Gods damn it all, why is it always dragons?

Lucina whiirled to look towards the treeline as Merida delivered the fateful news, her heart racing and her hand falling, once again, to the comforting solidity of Falchion's grip. The world-eater... An epithet that would have well suited her own world's draconic nemesis. The binding around her sword's grip creaked softly as she squeezed it, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Just a dream world. It was not real.

"This is a dragon-slaying blade." She told the others grimly, drawing Falchion, the sword's golden blade already gleaming with a soft orange light, as if sensing its master's intent. "It is powerfully enchanted, forged to slay a dragon-god. Perhaps with it - even in a dream world - I can drive this Alduin away."

There was little time to debate, however, as a group of figures emerged from the treeline at great speed. Lucina grit her teeth and ran to make a stand at the top of the temple stairs, Falchion now practically blazing with fire-orange light as she drew on its power. She fell into a stance and - wait, who was that?

"... Jack'O?" Lucina called out incredulously, ears twitching upright. Bold as brass, there were her comrades, sliding down the mountainside? Where was this dragon Meridia had sensed? It must be pursuing them! "Quick, get to the temple, we will stand a better chance together!"

—

Alicia - Team Military

Vaulting over the table and taking cover beside Maria, Alicia frowned as a new wave of enemy... blobs appeared. Poking up out of cover once the first volley of enemy fire abated, she fired the last few rounds in her pistol, noting how well Raz and Maria's new guns were performing.

"... you two seem to be better equipped for this than I am." She commented, ejecting her Makarov's spent magazine and slipping a new one in. Humming in thought, she set the pistol down and hefted the wide-bored rifle she had picked up from behind the raptor nest, looking it over a few times. "Let's give this thing a shot."

Ducking up from behind the table once more, she set the strange gun to her shoulder, sighted at the closest blobulon, and fired.

Edited by LittleMako on Mar 1st 2019 at 1:45:05 AM

Lancelot - Tree surfing to The Shrine

“Well I could always use my sword to-“

Lancelot paused as the temple came into view and he pointed at some people he thought stood out compared to the environment.

“Hey Master, do you recognize any of those people? I think one of them is trying to signal us.”

Raz - Gungeon, Team Military

“You got it, holding down an area is my specialty. Yahooooo!”

Raz himself seemed to be enjoying this as he opened fire with his plasma cutter. Compared to the hell of Northern Cross, this was all smooth sailing really. Still he did jump behind the table for some cover as well, even he wasn’t stupid enough to stand out in the open on a battlefield.

“Hey you think if we get big bird over there to focus he could help us out?”

Edited by Bcom on Mar 19th 2019 at 6:56:16 AM

Ragna, Temple of Meridia

Something was wrong. Meridia grew cautious, claiming that she sensed something. There was no reason to doubt her, so Ragna gripped Blood-scythe's handle. From the sound of things, the final boss was upon them.

Lucina sounded prepared, and with a dragon-slaying sword in her possession! That was solid reassurance.

"Alright then, let's do this."

Ragna prepared to draw her sword at the enemies approaching.

Then she got a better look at them.

("The fu-?")

Jack-O', Temple of Meridia

Jack-O' was all too glad to return Aldy's wink and thumbs up. Felt like barriers were being broken, just like the spider under Lantern from earlier.

A temple was in their sights, and getting some R&R at a tavern sounded like well-deserved rest. Just needed to make a stop at the temple and...

The bounty hunter stopped her train of thought when she saw and heard someone familiar.

"Lucina! Heeeey!"

As the team barreled down the hill on the log, Jack-O' bounded and rolled ahead of them on top of Lantern, racing into the temple, leaping off of Lantern and sliding past Lucina and Ragna in an appropriate pose.◊ Ragna could only watch, dumbstruck, as Jack-O' came to a stop just right in front of Lucina.

"What's up?"

("-ck?")

Dizzy and Mercury the poogie, Van Storage

The little pink piggy eyed the tail that swayed over Cell's head, and for some reason she couldn't fathom, she didn't trust it. Maybe it was the stinger at the end of it.

She couldn't say no to having a bite to eat, though. She simply looked up at Cell expectantly, her stomach seemingly already emptied of omurice.

Dizzy, for her part, continued to glub in the healing pod.

Neptuneman - Gungeon VR (Team Martial Arts)

Neptuneman follows Ranma into the next area. The warning the man gave the group is real important. The monster must be real dangerous if he can only be "dazzl[ed] with splendorous gunplay". With the teamwork the trio have showed so far, that should be a cinch, right?

Rachel

-Well that worked, the eyeball thing exploding into a bunch of weird graphics. Except the remaining monster spawned a tiny version of itself. I shot at that one while Tira started spraying bullets at the other.-

Tenko - Team Disaster, Gungeon

Upon seeing dark flames rising out of Scott, Tenko instinctly backed off from the grey man, tough the fire still managed to touch and singe her skin. Or at least it would have if the flame were capable of doing any damage to her. Upon seeing that and the fact that Scott didn't seem to be in any particular pain, it was evident that they couldn't hurt each other in this place. Angry at being robbed the chance of giving righteous punishment, the japanese teen glared at the canadian. "Hmph, you're lucky. It seems that you've been spared from a beating for now. Still, the lizard gun now is hers," she pointed her thumb toward Kawakaze, "and we outnumber you. So don't get any funny idea."

She then turned toward the fox-bot with a far more agreeable expression. "Thanks for the help, Kawa. And hey, I'd say that mask he has is far prettier than his real face, anyway. I think you also did him a favor." She walked toward the door pointed out by the arrow, hoping to make small talk while ignoring Scott's ignoble presense.

Edited by Alecoene on Mar 6th 2019 at 10:41:51 AM

Priscilla, Temple of Meridia

Priscilla looked over at Lucina, the woman with a blade she could tell at a glance was no ordinary weapon. Somehow, she didn't think she and the others were part of the simulation.

"I do not," she said to Lancelot. "But it appears one of them knows Jack'O. Um, hello there. I suppose you all are others from the Van as well?"

Meridia's Shrine

"Waiiiiiiiiiiit, you know these people?" Alduin - who still looked like this◊, and who still had 'Alduin' pop up in the Alternate's HUDs when someone looked at her - asked Jack-O' and Lancelot, a hint of worry in her voice. "You.. you have friends besides me?"

She glanced rapidly between Lucina and Ragna, and then Jack-O' and Lancelot, then back at Lucina's friends, then back at the other people she had come with, one more glance at Lucina, and then back again at Priscilla with her expression becoming even more worrisome.

"W-what, where's Van?" she asked Priscilla. "Is that where you're from? Is that... where you'll go when you don't want to hang out with me anymore?" A lone tear dripped down from her right eye, which she wiped away and tried to do her best to put on a brave face and not cry. "You... you're just meeting up with your friends so we can all go together, right? Y-you're not leaving are you? You guys aren't supposed to ditch me. I'm important."

Meanwhile, in the sky above, 21, Susan, and Hat Woman's detect dragon spell would let them zero in on Alduin right where she was with everyone else. Or on Paarthurnax - who still looked like this◊ - who was finally managing to clear the treeline and begining the process ofcoming in for a landing near the others.

Tiki - Also Shrine of Meridia

"Perhaps one day I shall, who knows what the future may hold, and if we may yet see each other's worlds," Tiki said to Tetra as she kept on flying. Eventually though Tetra pointed something out, and Tiki looked down. "So they are, good eye."

She flew down and let go of Tetra's hand once they were safely on the ground, and looked at the group of people assembled there.

"Lucina?" she asked, approaching the other Alternates with a worried look when she noticed Lucina had her sword at the ready. "What's the matter? Why have you drawn Falchion, is there something afoot?"

She looked back over her shoulder, but didn't notice anything that seemed out of place.

Tessa - Trolltown

"Huh? What are you doing?" Tessa asked as Santa started to issue commands. She tensed up and took a step back when the giant appeared, only to relax when its friend-or-foe status was changed, and then most surprisingly of all, the giant shrunk down to a fraction of his original height.

"Heehee, he's soooooo tiny!" she laughed. "Good idea!"

Then she tried to hug Santa very tightly under the guise of congratulations.

Lucina - Temple of Meridia

Blinking in surprise, Lucina let her sword tip drop as Jack'O so casually slid to a stop in front of her, already starting to doubt her earlier conclusions - some of her comrades were decidedly eccentric, it was true, but this was not the urgency that she was expecting. Tiki's calm presence was almost enough to convince her to put her steel away again, the taguel princess smiling as she stepped up to meet the newly arriving alternates with her dimming sword held one-handed and low.

"I'm glad to see you all! Meridia - the goddess we've been helping here - she told us that a terrible dragon was heading our way." She followed Tiki's glance back at the treeline, spotting not a dragon, but distant flying figure whom Tiki seemed to pay no mind.

"She described it as a world-eater, named it..."

There were strangers among her comrades, both horned and scaled but man-shaped, and as one started to sniffle and protest, Lucina's gaze darted up to the name-plate hovering over her head. Her ears twitched shock as she read the name -

"... Alduin!"

Falchion's tip rose up again as Lucina moved to place herself between her friends and the horned girl, her ears pinned back as her sword flared up again, although her brow furrowed in confusion. That the dragon had assumed a human form was of no surprise, she had just not expected a world-eating god to be so... petulant.

Edited by LittleMako on Mar 7th 2019 at 12:06:14 PM

Lady, too, was surprised when people she actually knew emerged from the forest, although her mood instantly soured when she saw a paticular meat themed demon among them. Then people got to talking, and it turned out the "World eater" was some whining girl. She stood there for a monent, considering this.

"Nope."

She lowered her rocket launcher.

"No. That's it. I'm done. This is officially the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I have standards, and I'm not going to be associated with something like this."

She threw her rocket launcher so that it was resting across her shoulders, and then turned, walked past Gwen, and started walking in a random direction.

The summoning of a tiny giant would have an....interesting effect as it struck the elf.

That is to say, he started bouncing around the room like a pinball, complete with appropriate sound effects. As the laugher grew harder, out of nowhere, a man, marked as "Courier" appeared behind the group and approached the nearest person (Read, whoever posts first after this)

"I've been looking for you. Got something I'm supposed to deliver, your hands only."

"Let's see here...."

After a long moment of standing around, not doing anything, a letter would appear in said person's inventory.

"Ah, there we go. Talos be with you."

Then he walked off. As for the letter itself.....

Well done with your first quest. A very nice touch to steal his book. However, in order to preserve the stability of this realm, the book will have to be removed from reality, starting....now.

As soon as that line was read, be it aloud or now, the stolen hacking tome would vanish, never to return.

As for your next task, you will be headed to the Thalmor Embassy. These people are the ones who employed the elf you just finished with. Unpleasant lot all around. They are going to be hosting a party for diplomatic delegates and selected VI Ps. Enclosed with this letter, you will find a personalized invitation for each of you. You are to go there, and humiliate the hosts of this event.

The objective markers and quest tasks would update to reflect this new objective.

Umu, Hasn't Really Participated Much In This Job, But That's Okay, Now With An Invitation

Santa added her own savage touch to the situation, and so their little task of humiliating Ondolemar was complete. Nero wasn't quite satisfied with the outcome - it felt dreadfully droll, to use mere violence as means of humiliation. Still, it did the job, and given the content of this letter from an anonymous courier, they were going to somewhere where her own resplendent talents could be used.

"Umu! 'tis a good time you have my august self for this one task." She hummed to herself with a smile on her face. "An Emperor must know her way around the ins and outs of diplomatic intrigue, naturally."

"Works for me." With gentleness unexpected of himself, Cell picked up the little poogie, placing it on his shoulder. From there, having cast one last look at Dizzy, the bioandroid made his way to the kitchen, briefly taking note of people present. ''' "Alright, let's work this thing out..." Food replicators weren't a new concept to him, but the scope of available products varied wildly. A replicator that had just about everything one could think of boggled the mind.

For now Cell settled on a very American hamburger for himself and... what did little piggies like this one eat? "Does wheat grain food sound good to you? I'm not very good with piggy cuisine." He muttered, idly making sure Mercury didn't fall off.

As expected of a T-Shirt Cannon, it fired a T-shirt, smelling of fresh laundry. Bizarrely enough, it had a lot of force and knockback for something that sounded patently useless: the hapless Blobulon hit with a high speed attire went flying right into one of the Cubulons in the back, making it pop with the sound of a well-used bubblegum. Sometimes the strangest solutions worked the best, it seemed.

"Well, it's worth a shot, if nothing else." Having realized that she's just made a terrible pun, Maria made a sour face. "How do you plan on doing that though?" The big red Blobulon - an aptly-named Bloodbulon - received another shot from the Scrambler, causing it to... grow in size? It became more ponderous, but its size made for an effective shield for its lesser kin.

The team, having made their shopping, was met with an unusual sight: a brightly-colored display full of colorful blocks hanging over the spiked pit. By the chasm stood a well-suited man in a top hat, bowing to the newcomers. "Welcome, welcome. It's been a while since I've had guests, and so many of them at once too. I take you're here to play the game then?" He asked, gesturing towards the colored blocks.

Of note were blue blocks with stoic expressions, green blocks with skittish, scared expressions, and red blocks with angry expressions. It seemed many things in the Gungeon had faces.

The remaining Beholster had no plans to simply keel over at Tira's behest, strafing the incoming gunfire with some difficulty - a couple of Soulgun bullets clipped its body - and retaliating with its own onslaught. The good part of it was that it paid attention to no one else, baring its teeth in rage.

The small Beadie summoned by it proved to be much less resilient. The Molotov impacted directly against its eyehead, causing it to explode, if in a slightly less grand fashion than its bigger brother slash parent slash master.

The next room was a small one, a mere transition to what appeared to be a bigger one behind a huge door that looked as if someone slapped a human skull on a giant bullet. The ominous factor of said door was easy enough to interpret if you had enough gaming knowledge - this was the boss door, with a strong enemy waiting ahead; the kind of enemy that would require strict cooperation between the three unlikely teammates.

The chances of disaster were high.

"That's certainly a viable tactic in my world at the least. Sometimes we even aim our high velocity attacks towards mountain ranges to rack up the overall damage potential." Musing at Susan's half-joke with an entirely serious (and off-putting) contemplative tone, the scientist soon found the target of her spell... and did a slight double take. "...Either the magic is not working or it seems that things aren't as clear cut as it seems..."

Muttering under her breath as she slowly descended with no hint of any hostile intent as motherly instincts surged up ever so slightly. "Excuse me but... are you a threat to this world?" Deciding to go honest, the Majin voiced her doubts while taking in the dragonic features and overall attitude with a look of disbelief.

"Azura, can I pat your head for a while please? I need to calm down a bit..." Hesitantly asking the remaining and more cold version of her dear friend due to being rather off settled at the moment due to various factors, Corrin still had the lost puppy look on her face (nevermind that earlier she was about to enter into a berserk blood rage and become an eldritch horror looking nightmare).

"Yeah sure, why not? I'm ready for a warm up." Rather cockily stating her intentions as she confidently strutted up towards the blocks with faces, the girl looked over the challenge to come before glancing back towards the guy in the suit. "So what do I have to do? Only go after the same colors or something?"

Meridia's Shrine

"Oh wow, you've heard of me?" Alduin eagerly asked Lucina, sparkles practically radiating from her eyes.

"What in Oblivion.....?" Meridia's voice echoed in Lucina and the ears of the other Alternates who had been journeying with the Beacon, but went unheard by the

"Whuuuu, who are you?" Alduin asked wide-eyed at 21, breaking her out of her reverie with Lucina. "M-me, a threat?"

Alduin threw her head back in uproarious laughter, letting out a solid chuckle.

"Me? A threat to this world?" she sneered. Her voice seemed to sink down a whole note as it deepened and turned malicious. "I am Alduin, Firstborn of Akatosh, my very destiny is to consume all of Nirn so that I may end the age of man and bring about the rebirth of all of existence, so it has been written in the Elder Scrolls themselves for all of time, and so shall they continue to say until my work is done. I am no mere threat, I am destruction incarnate."

Then she leaned forward a little and her expression changed from confident to anxious, and she spoke up again, her voice once again getting squeaky.

"Buuuuuut, I'm starting to think I could make an exception if you take me to a really nice tavern so I can eat all your joor foods. I heard a lot of guards talking about sweetrolls and milk." She smiled as wide as she could and flashed 21 a peace sign with her right hand.

"Not to change the subject...." Paarthurnax said very quietly from behind the group. "But I still don't exactly know what you were talking about back there and I would very much appreciate if one of you could explain just what that was..."

Tiki - Meridia's Shrine

"Yes that's... her...." Tiki explained to Lucina, her voice slightly unsure. It wasn't exactly something you dealt with everyday, after all. "The mighty dragons of this realm, Alduin and Paarthurnax were somehow changed into... girls. Half-human, half-dragon girls of some sort. Now they cannot be harmed by our weapons, even my axe which should slice through the scales of a dragon with ease could not so much as scratch Alduin's skin after a dozen strikes. I have not tested if the same is true for Paarthurnax - she's been a far deal more pleasant - but I imagine the same would be true for her as well."

Edited by nman on Mar 7th 2019 at 3:49:14 AM

Gwen - Always Look On The Bright Side of Sudden Anime Girls; Temple of Meridia, Haafingar

Well then.

Gwen probably should- actually, no. She was a comicbook character, not a manga character. When things became anthropomorphized, they were usually better dressed.

Throwing her rocket launcher back over her shoulder, she took a moment to breathe and figure out what to do. The flying redhead asked the pertinent question, and nobody was shooting or stabbing, so Lady took priority.

She thwipped out a webline at Lady's departing back, in the hopes it would impact and stick to her, so that she'd stop while Gwen caught up to her. Hit or miss, she'd jog up to her friend(?) and whisper to her.

"[Lady, I know this weird. This is not how the game usually goes, I swear. But let's not look a gift anime girl in the mouth, okay? Even she looks like she works at a really niche strip club. Look on the bright side: our friends have made friends with someone who can kick Molag Bal's ass across the continent."

She looked back over her shoulder at Alduin, and another dragon-girl which her HUD was telling her was dear old Paarthunax. Did that mean she was voiced by Peach's VA rather than Mario's?

"Besides, to quit, you have to open your menu. Walking away does nothing."

Neptuneman - Gungeon VR (Team Martial Arts)

"Correct," affirmed Neptuneman. He quickly scanned his new opponents and his current arsenal. His opponents are colorful toy blocks. Seriously?! Neptuneman's 24-inch pythons can wipe these guys out with no sweat, brother.

However, he has to follow the rules. Only gunplay can be used in this Gungeon. All he has going for him is his gun and his blanks, which can be used to erase bullets, huh? Better use these in tricky situations.

"What are the rules for your match?"

Edited by josh6243 on Mar 11th 2019 at 10:30:22 AM