I wanted to post this here, just because I was thinking about it after seeing SpaceWolf's post over in Yack Fest, plus I think it's important to say. It requires a bit of story about my experience with OCD, so please bear with me.
OCD is not a battle you can win on your own. I tried for months in vain, even after reading up on all the articles I could find online and all the little videos on Youtube. They provide brief security, but like all reassurances with OCD, they can end up turning into the rituals we use to feed our obsessions - they become our compulsions. Nothing is more valuable than getting help from people around you.
I have HOCD, which for those unaware, is where my obsessions revolve the fear that I am or may become gay, even in spite of the fact that I've only ever had crushes on girls, in addition to plenty other evidence pointing towards my heterosexuality. None of these little reminders helped me, and I drove myself into a nervous wreck, barely able to function. I skipped my first week or so of English because my professor was gay, and I'd go into anxiety just listening to him talk. Nothing helped and my depression (which had started a bit before the OCD) worsened for it.
As you could imagine, I felt terrified about telling anyone about what I was going through. I figured either a) they would think I was in denial about being gay, or b) they would think I was a homophobic asshole, which in turn would lead them to point a) again. I eventually told my sister that I thought I had OCD and begged her not to tell our parents, which she avoided doing up until I had a full-fledged breakdown in front of her, at which point she called them and urged me to talk to them.
I'm so glad she did, beyond what words can describe.
I cried talking to them, and told them everything. Like I expected, they led with telling me it was okay if I was gay, though they eventually listened to me about the OCD. They drove up to my university that night, all the while my mom was reading about HOCD facts on the drive, at which point they let me stay in a hotel with them so that I could relax. The next day we went to the hospital, where I first talked with a counselor, followed by a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with OCD and depression. He gave me some medication, which helped a ton. We had a few more talks, at which point he referred me to a therapist. I've been meeting with her since with amazing results.
My point, as long-winded as it took to get there, is that you have to take those first few steps and open yourself up to getting help. Telling people about it is terrifying, but those who love and care about you only want to help. And if you've had a bad therapist in the past, there are a ton in cities, so finding a new one specializing in mental disorders won't be too hard to find. Get their help. Don't fight this alone; you won't win. Surround yourself with friends and family who will stand with you through it. As scary as it may be, the relief it brings outweighs any prior worry about telling them.
edited 17th Dec '15 8:14:03 PM by randomdude4
"Can't make an omelette without breaking some children." -Bur
A real bad hombre
I feel extremely lucky that I have minimal compulsions.
Scratch that: A couple of summers ago I definitely had compulsions. Thankfully they're gone now.
edited 17th Dec '15 8:26:39 PM by LinkToTheFuture
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
It's just like I've tried and failed, at this point. I don't know if I can find somebody who specializes in this sort of thing, especially since the last person was a campus shrink who basically tried treating it like traditional anxiety.
It's thankfully more under control now, but my last therapist moved to another job and right now I'm trying to find another one.
So I figure not a lot of people here are Catholic (or even religious for that matter, probably), but recently I rediscovered an old prayer I learned awhile ago, and it really helps me in the context of OCD. It's called the Serenity Prayer, and it is as follows:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
In my eyes, I cannot change the fact that I have OCD or that I'll have intrusive thoughts on occasion, and I have to be at peace with that. I can, however, change how I allow myself to be affected by the thoughts, and train my mind to not fight back, but to accept and move on. And I need the wisdom to understand the difference between overcoming by OCD by fighting and accepting, because ultimately that acceptance is what will help me in the long run.
"Can't make an omelette without breaking some children." -Bur
I figure that someone should reopen this. It might as well be me.
This is a signature.
A real bad hombre
The covens are nearly always dead for some reason.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
It's unfortunate.
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A real bad hombre
Well, having another period of intrusive thoughts/anxiety attacks, over something that I don't really feel like discussing. I haven't been completely calm while awake like, all week whenever I'm not at home.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
Okay, first, take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. If you're feeling a lot of anxiety your heart rate is probably really high right now, so slowing things down might help.
Second, are you seeing any sort of therapist/psychiatrist? If not I highly recommend finding someone near you. If you are in college there should be a medical center nearby that can help. Otherwise, if you do have a therapist, give them a call if things keep persisting and follow their advice. They know what they're doing.
Third, don't try to fight the thoughts or look for some way of disproving them, as that will just make things worse. I know that's a very difficult thing to do, and in the worst of my OCD I was doing it a lot, but they only exacerbate the anxiety you feel.
"Can't make an omelette without breaking some children." -Bur
Is anyone around?
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A real bad hombre
I'm here.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
Have you ever considered leaving TVT?
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A real bad hombre
Me? No. Are you?
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
I've been pondering it, yeah.
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A real bad hombre
Mind if I ask why? Personally I would hate to see you go.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
In short, people's lack of a filter can sometimes be a problem. It's not something that can really be explained to them, either.
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A real bad hombre
That's too bad.
I don't really know what to say to that to be honest.
You can PM me if you want.
edited 12th Apr '16 3:58:22 PM by LinkToTheFuture
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
I'm still here too.
Awhile ago I did consider leaving TV Tropes, mostly when I was going through the worst of my shit. I came back once things started getting better, but I had to put my own mental health first, and this site was not doing much to help.
"Can't make an omelette without breaking some children." -Bur
Can things even get better?
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I'm sure they could.
I'm going through a rough patch mentally too, this week has helped me get my mind off things.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
Most definitely. Holy shit they most certainly can! 
I am far and away better than I was thanks to therapy and counseling, as well as support from friends and family. I remember barely even able to sleep because I was so afraid of obsessing in my dreams, and that my obsessions were nonstop throughout the day. Now I have such great control over everything that rarely do my obsessions even affect me.
If you need to take a break from the internet to seek help, do so. What you find in the real world will be infinitely better than anything online.
"Can't make an omelette without breaking some children." -Bur
A real bad hombre
I've been obsessing a lot the past month or so and it's been horrible.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
Have you tried seeing a psychiatrist or certified therapist of any kind? I'm not talking about a (school) counselor either. If not be sure to contact one at a nearby hospital or something. This
link might help, but I honestly don't really know.
If anyone ever wants/needs to PM me, go for it, but don't do it as an alternative to finding a therapist. I'm also not sure how much help I would be other than lending an ear to your problems since everyone's OCD manifests itself in different ways.
edited 12th Apr '16 6:18:03 PM by randomdude4
"Can't make an omelette without breaking some children." -Bur
Hmm, looks interesting. I'll check them out.
Feeling a bit better now that I'm home.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison