Regarding the post made by Echoing Silence, directly above this one: Fantastic! Amazing! I am very grateful and humbled that you would take time out of your undoubtedly busy schedule to accommodate me! Again, consider yourself in no rush, and please sacrifice nothing on account of me. I'm sorry I didn't have the patience to wait 1 more day before hastily complaining about the wait. I look forward to tonight, but don't hold you to any deadline.
It occurred to me as I was typing that my words might be interpreted as being sarcastic or in jest. Please don't get me wrong: I am entirely serious in all that I have stated in this thread.
The Wanderer
Okay so:
- It should be clearer that they have adult backing for this lab of theirs. Also, them just surviving off of patents just isn't viable since in order to do so would require a lot of immoral credential stuffing.
- The Nature can probably stay, but in WAAPT Natures only serve a flavor text purpose at best and have no bearing on strength one way or another.
- Ghost-types in WAAPT are not treated as any more inherently evil than other mons, even in aggregate, so that part of Armando's backstory doesn't track.
- Being a Fighting-type has no correlation with intelligence so you can just say Cortez just isn't good at chess.
- I would assume that that the flower allergy is probably pollen related, which is kinda odd when Grass-types are immune to spore-based moves and Abilities so more clarification would be appreciated.
Regarding rmctagg09's post: Thank you! I was waiting for some good criticism! I shall enact all that you have said!
- Fixed.
- Fixed, by scrapping the character. There was almost nothing in the character to begin with, and I should have realized that.
- Hmmm. This one is a little tougher. I really want to leave it as is, but I do understand and respect that regarding WAAPT you are the expert and I am the novice. I shall change/ditch the backstory if necessary, but I would like to try to offer some justification. While ghost types are not more evil than any other given type on the whole, when they are evil there are much more significant consequences
than when another type is evil (perhaps barring psychic. And maybe dark. And perhaps fairy). Thus, his reaction to ghost type villainy is much more poignant than the average evil villain. In addition, as a ghost type himself, it's personal. Plus, if you meet 10 nice guys and Hannibal Lector, who are you going to remember? The evil ghosts stick out. Finally, I acknowledge that his vendetta isn't entirely rational. If these reasons are still unsatisfactory, I will scrap it all (and probably come up with a new character entirely, as a 1 mon team doesn't make for much story IMHO). Again, I am entirely willing to forget this element of character, I just don't think it has to go.
- Wait, I thought that being weak to psychic and having low special stats impli- NO! Must! Not! Think! About! Stats! Fixed.
- I actually have an excuse for my failure here. I only used shroomish's/breloom's spores a lot in gen 3, before grass types gained their invulnerability to spores. Whoops. Fixed, again by scrapping the entire concept.
I don't think I've lost much by getting rid of the more problematic elements of my characters. Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to read and critique my work! I understand I still suck at writing, and I hope to get better through writing, re-writing, and re-writing again.
Edited by arishipshape on Mar 12th 2019 at 10:49:02 AM
Zoroark In Disguise
Um, hello. This looked interesting, so if it's open... Well, obviously I'd like to join. I just hope I got this right.
Name: Shadow
Age: Early 20s
Gender: Male
Ethnicity: White
Appearance: Light skin, blonde hair, blue eyes. Prefers dark clothing, usually black with some red accents.
Organizational Ties: A few ex-Plasma friends.
Region of Origin: Nimbasa City, Unova
Backstory: Shadow's had an affinity for Dark type Pokemon since he was little. He first encountered Mischief while she was raiding the kitchen. After gently coaxing the little Zorua into his arms, he decided to keep her. He gets along okay with most other Pokemon as well, except Fairy types. Aside from that, he loves puns. His Pokemon, not so much. He also carries a comb. It's not for his hair, it's for grooming his Pokemon.
Species: Zorua
Nickname: Mischief
Gender: Female
Ability: Illusion
Personality/Bio: A sweet, shy little Zorua who loves playing harmless pranks on those more powerful than her, Mischief is timid regardless, and if confronted will attempt to escape, usually at Shadow's expense. However, the two go way back, since she was his Starter, and as such they're protective of each other. Of course, her protective/possessive growling isn't exactly scary, being only a little Zorua. She loves food, and it's one of the few things that overwhelms her timid nature. Other things include the chance to play a prank on someone who's a litte too self-important, and Shadow being threatened. She has Extrasensory as an egg move. Also, she enjoys belly rubs.
Species: Absol
Nickname: Maverick
Gender: Male
Ability: Super Luck
Personality/Bio: A somewhat-egotistical Absol who's always trying to show off, boasting of his incredible luck. He considers himself the next casanova, but, um... Isn't as good with the ladies as he would like. During battle, he suddenly becomes deathly serious.
I agree to the terms of Every's Essay
I agree to the terms of the Tone Essay
Edited by darknessdawn on Mar 20th 2019 at 1:05:37 AM
Heheheh
Hey, sorry for the delay, I think that stuff is good now, yeah, I can do your test soon
"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every
Regarding the post made by Corvus Atrox, directly above this one:
Fantastic! That the great and wise operators of this RPG would be willing to even test a writer so lowly, inexperienced and incompetent as myself is amazing, and I, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, am humbled. You even apologize to me for the delay, like a great king apologizes to a lowly serf. After looking at the wiki I see that all I have done is already done, and that I bring nothing new to the table, and for that I am sorry. I hope the 4 mon slots left on my character cause some much needed originality to incubate and prosper.
EDIT: It would seem I completely forgot about the post made by Master Jay AM, a page before this post. For those that don't go back to read it, it said not to worry to much about making a rip-off character, as it would develop into its own thing in time. Again, I demonstrate my incompetency. At least I noticed before another post was made.
Additionally, regarding the entry made by darknessdawn, 2 posts above this one: Keeping in mind that I am but an untested, low quality writing noob, your submission looks fine to me, and I look forward to seeing your characters interact with others.
Edited by arishipshape on Mar 16th 2019 at 8:34:30 AM
Darknessdawn: Right, sorry. It's fine by me as is! Was just busy yesterday and wanted to see if others had thoughts, others will say stuff if they do!
And okay then...
arishipshape's Test
Congratulations, Jackson Silversmith! As you are going about your business, you and your team encounter a Muk that seems to be thrashing around in some water, looking distressed. What do you do? Please respond as you would in the RP
"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every
I will later edit this with my test response! However, right now I’m on a mobile device and am unable to use the effects I would like. Sorry for the delay.
Fair.
But oh, uh, whoops, there was one thing I missed: There's still concerns about your character being able to survive off of patents at their age. The father's support is good but getting current funding for patents still cuts into the issues.
"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every
Very well: If the entire thing is still an issue, I shall ditch it all! Gotta know when to fold em. Please allow me some time to make said edits: when it is satisfactory, I shall then test!
EDIT: I have edited that entire part of the character out. In all my fixes I have only cut and removed, but I feared adding anything new because I might confuse people who saw the old entry and didn't see the new. Because of this, I've left my characters looking a little sparse. However, I'm sure new things will happen and new traits and quirks will be added as I go along. Thanks for bearing with me as I try and try again!
Edited by arishipshape on Mar 16th 2019 at 4:00:26 AM
Meet The New Boss
Don't worry, we double check. ;) You can add stuff back just fine.
But looks good to me. You can resume your test now.
Contact Me!
Now let's start that again!
arishipshape's Test
Congratulations, Jackson Silversmith! As you are going about your business, you and your team encounter a Muk that seems to be thrashing around in some water, looking distressed. What do you do? Please respond as you would in the RP
"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every
Meet The New Boss
Also because darknessdawn I completely missed your post
You look good to me. However you seem to have mixed up ethnicity and nationality - it should be more like "white" or "caucasian" if I'm guessing what you're going for right.
Edited by Umbramatic on Mar 17th 2019 at 11:31:07 AM
Contact Me!
Meet The New Boss
Double post because I messed up the formatting; ~darknessdawn see above
Contact Me!
arishipshape's Test
I can choose where this happens, correct? I mean, Nuvema town is a stone's throw away from Accumula, so it makes sense, right? Also, you use spoiler text for non RP Ging, right?Nuvema town
Jackson Silversmith leaned on the railing overlooking the sea.Silversmith: "Ah, it's nice to get some fresh air once in a while!"
Suddenly, a horrible stench wafted past Silversmith and his party.
Armando: <Clearly you have a refined taste in air.>
Silversmith: "What is that?"
Cortez: <Look!>
In the water was a Muk, flailing about and appearing distressed!
Silversmith: "That Muk seems to be in quite the fork. What an excellent opportunity to demonstrate my free will being used for the benefit of others! What good is knowing what is good and not acting upo—"
Armando: <Shut up and do something!>
Silversmith: "Right. If you guys have any ideas, act on them."
Silversmith hastily removed his backpack and dumped out the contents. Pawns, potions, knights, pokeballs, a used TM for focus punch, an ether, a library book, a few rooks, his personal pokedex, and other things flew out in a flurry.
Cortez: <Why doesn't Jackson just dive in and grab him?>
Armando: <Would you like to jump in and do it?>
Cortez: <Touche. But why doesn't he just use a pokeball?>
Armando: <No good. Muk is very hard to catch, and we can't go down there to deal any damage.>'''
Cortez: <Who says this Muk is hard to catch?>
Armando <...>
Cortez: <Jackson, use a pokeball!>
Silversmith: "Aha! I found it! I knew buying two would pay off!"
While the pokemon were arguing, Silversmith had found his escape rope!
Silversmith: "Arceus, let Muk have the sense to grab the rope..."
Silversmith threw the escape rope to the Muk.
Armando: <Well that won't work! Muk is a giant poisonous sludge ball! They can't grab ropes!>
Cortez: <Then how do they hold items?>
Armando: <...>
Silversmith: "Cortez, help me pull him up!"
Cortez grabbed the rope.
I understand that when R Ping with other people, I won't be able to make posts this long, because others will have input on what happens. Also, Jackson Silversmith's father will be referred to as Silversmith Senior, to avoid confusion.
Lol, conversations like that are hilarious regardless
arishipshape's Test
The Muk flails about.
Muk: <Agh, help me, help me!>
They grab on the rope but end up pulling on it a bit hard, possibly yanking whoever's holding it if they aren't careful.
"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every
Meet The New Boss
Nuvema town
The Muk's yanking caused Silversmith to lose his footing. Luckily, Nuvema town complies with the OSHA, and has large railings on the sea overlook. Silversmith pushed against the railing.Silversmith: "Muk is heavier than I previously suspected. I don't think this is gonna work.'''
Cortez, while pulling on the rope to prevent a sudden shift in momentum (and a soaked trainer), used his tail to bat one of the pokeballs on the ground towards Silversmith.
Silversmith: "Brilliant!"
Upon releasing one of his hands to grab the pokeball, the increased weight pulled Cortez towards the railing, and dropped the Muk lower, causing more erratic weight shifts in the rope, causing them to lose their grip even more, causing them to drop the rope further, causing more inertia against them, etc. Silversmith recognized this vicious cycle and released the rope entirely to throw the pokeball with all the speed he could muster. Cortez, on the other hand, did not notice, and was pulled by the rope over the guard rails.
Cortez: <Don't worry, I can swi—!> *splash*
Thanks to the weight creating a launching effect, Cortez fell in the water a few feet beyond the Muk. The pokeball flies towards the Muk swiftly.
I edited this to fix some spelling and tense issues. I was so excited I jumped the gun on the post button. Sorry! Also, I edited this to comply with the rules more
Edited by arishipshape on Mar 18th 2019 at 6:04:57 AM
Oh, it's fine! Though, a note, it seems like you're controlling the Muk in some parts of your post (the note about shaking extra) and you should leave that to the other player, as amusing as the post is
"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every
Dang it, that was like, super obvious in Every's essay! *Hit's head on desk* (I can't figure out how to pothole in spoilers) Super sorry, I shoulda caught that.
It's fine, just edit out the parts that require controlling the Muk yourself and then we can continue!
"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every
Fixed. I really should have known that. Thanks for dealing with my noobness!
The Muk is hit by the ball and sucked in.
The ball shakes once in midair.
Twice as it splashes into the water.
Click!
There is now a Poke Ball containing a Muk floating on the water.
"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every
Nuvema town
Armando <Dang it! I float corrected.>Silversmith: "Yes! Cortez, are you alright?"
Cortez used his large feet to propel himself to the surface.
Cortez: <G-g-get me an aspear berry...>
Silversmith: "Could you throw me the pokeball and rope in the water?"
Cortez began to sink lower.
Silversmith: "Crap!"
Silversmith grabbed Cortez's pokeball and withdrew him.
Silversmith: "Add a pokemon center visit on my to do list. Armando, could you ever so carefully float down there and grab that pokeball and rope?"
Armando: <The things I do for you. Next thing you know you'll get yourself killed and expect me to resurrect you or something.>
Armando slowly floated down, taking care to avoid the waves plaguing the overlook.
Silversmith: "Thanks! Guess I just caught myself a Muk. Now for a name... He certainly destroys fairies. How about Silver Bullet? It would be ironic, what with Muk's tankyness, and go with my name. I'll have Cortez ask if they like it."
Armando returned with the pokeball.
Armando: <The rope was soaked, but I got you the ball.>
Silversmith: "Better than nothing. To the pokemon center!"
Silversmith gathered up the spilt items, took his team to the pokemon center in Accumula and had them healed.
Accumula town
Silversmith: "Cortez, are you ok?"
Cortez: <Yup! That was fun!>
Silversmith: "That sounded happy to me! Now, I was considering the name Silver Bullet for Muk. Could you tell them that?"
Cortez: <Sure!>
Silversmith: "That also sounded affirmative. Very well, we shall go outside."
Silversmith went outside, held his nose and deployed Muk.
Cortez: <Greetings! Welcome to the squad! Are you OK?>
Edited by arishipshape on Mar 18th 2019 at 7:16:36 AM
We apologize for the inconvenience, we're still covering some items and may be some time before we can get back to you. We thank you for your patience and we'll likely have something tonight.