ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

-Sandstorm-

Mandibuzz: <Tch! Be advised that our warranty does not cover exposure to extreme weather elements!>

-she winces at the Rock Tomb, but is still barely holding on; she swipes the air towards Snakeye-

Mandibuzz used Air Slash!

Mantine: <Yes, yes, I'm still here, there's some interference, let me find a better signal.>

Mantine used Bounce! Mantine bounced high into the air!

Mantine: <Look, have you tried searching for those mittens on shopping sites with the web browser? It's the thing you read web pages with?>

-Cephas looks around the large interior of the library, impressed. Four tiers of balconies reveal shelf after shelf of books, comfortable reading chairs, and microfische archives; on the ground floor, patrons can be seen listening to audiobooks on tape recorders or using the computer lab-

Cephas: <So this is how you keep up on the new->

-he glances around, the Zoroark not visible-

Cephas: <...oh...>

-and then she is visible again, coming out from behind a cart with a new book-

-she tilts her head-

Zoroark Green: <You alright?>

Cephas: <Oh! Um, sorry, I just thought I'd lost you.>

<People tend to forget I'm here.>

Zoroark Green: <...>

-she pats the Geodude on the head-

<Don't worry. How could I forget a funny rock like you?>

-she glances up at the balconies-

<Would you like to people-watch with me before I have to go home?>

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?

Castelia City - Casa de Rever

Colt stared at his phone, realizing Ilya still never got back to him. He set himself down on the sofa and just stared at the ceiling, contemplating what there was to do. With no 'mons able to take him anywhere - Natu's Teleport range was only so far - what exactly was there to do?

Pyukumuku, Sunny, and Natu were all sleeping on their trainer's chest as he let the ambiance of the fridge, A/C and his mons' breathing just sink in.

Dude himself couldn't really sleep, couldn't watch anything, couldn't do anything - he was kinda waiting for a sorta call, if that made sense.

Deciding, he grabbed the aforementioned 'mons Pokeballs and returned them. The rest of his team followed soon and soon Colt was out the door, on his way to the library, Prax Obscura in his grip. He never really checked the place out, and he lived here for seven years.

Besides, he might find an interesting book or two.

edited 26th Dec '17 3:21:52 PM by AbsentCoder

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

Phoenix: And you didn't explain it the whole time we were at the Halloween party, or on the way to said party, or any other time...

Snakeye takes the hit and grunts, <Okay fair.>

"Go for the Mantine. Shoot it down.>

Snakeye raises his right arm and lets out a low whistle, <On it hoss!>

Snakeye uses Pin Missle

"Amber, Rock Slide."

Amber grinned and proceeded to try and drop rocks right on top of the Mandibuzz. <You know I prefer burning things, but honestly burying people in rocks is also fun. Not as fun as fire though.>

Amber used Rock Slide

edited 26th Dec '17 3:23:09 PM by EchoingSilence

Fog.

It was decidedly not foggy a minute ago.

Artoria: "Mordred?"

Nothing.

Artoria reaches for her scarf to go back to Lurantis form, and finds it not there.

She glances around.

Nothing.

Just fog.

And the building next to her.

And a glint of metal in the fog.

Artoria: "Mordred?"

There's a laugh, like a little girl's, but... wrong. Echoing. Reverberating. Voice of the Legion-ey.

???: "Silly girl..."

Artoria whirls around, suddenly finding a sword in her hand, parrying a pair of daggers from the fog.

???: "You're my plaything~"

Artoria thrusts her sword into where the daggers came from, hitting only air.

Another glint, and Artoria turns, a dagger landing in her arm instead of her heart. She slashes, again contacting naught but air.

???: "Now die~"

There's another flash, and Artoria deflects the dagger, slashing through who, or what, ever it was that was attacking her. She knelt down, trying to find a body, coming up with nothing. She takes a moment to bandage the stab on her arm.

???: "Teeheehee~"

Artoria stands back up, raising her sword up to her shoulder.

???: "Come find me if you can~"

edited 26th Dec '17 5:19:46 PM by Izshta

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

-The Rock Slide tears towards Mandi-

Mandibuzz was hurt by Sandstorm!

Mandibuzz was knocked out!

-oh.-

Deskman: -frowns-

Mantine: <OK, what's on the bottom of your phone's home screen- hang on a sec>

Mantine used Bounce on Cacturne!

Mantine: <ugh, Pin Missiles are prickly. OK I'm back- what do you mean "it doesn't have a screen"?!>

-Cephas and a Zoroark wearing a gardening apron, jacket, and floppy hat are sitting on the top-floor balcony, where they might observe Colton enter-

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?

Castelia Library - Front Steps

Realizing that the library's atmosphere would demand he remain quiet - which would make his work moot - Colt elected to sit on the stairs in front of the library and practice his illusions some more. Tactile illusions would be most convenient.

He created an illusory baton and twirled it in his hand before flinging it in a direction away from any pedestrians before having it return to his hand. With another flick of his wrist, it was compressed into a yoyo that he executed a slightly unimpressive string trick with.

He would probably be seen doing this, but he didn't really care. He was actually having a little fun, so he let the yoyo grind on his index finger and create a sorta whirr noise that only the most observant would notice wasn't there before.

He continued with a few more small-scale tricks, just sitting there as the world went by or would stop to greet him.

Getting a bit of a rhythm going, he compressed the yoyo into a more streamlined design with a louder ambient noise so he could handle the book with one hand. He entered the library and ascended the steps to the upper balcony.

True, he could get a better view from his apartment, but not the fresh air. This one provided that.

They'd probably hear his yoyo getting flinged around as he came to the balcony. For now, he didn't mind their presence. "Hey," he acknowledged.

edited 26th Dec '17 3:50:41 PM by AbsentCoder

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

Silas opted to switch Amber out for Tae who stretched, and then noticed Snakeye being struck by a Mantine and the Sandstorm.

<Silas what did you do?!>

"Don't look at me. I just wanna buy a scarf."

<Is this about Hacks's wish and your promise?>

"..."

<Is it?!>

"...Yes."

<Arceus damn it Silas! You okay Snakeye?>

Bounce was very effective, Snakeye has been taken down to half health

<I'd be worse if it wasn't for these great IVs I have.>

Tae sighed, <What do you need?>

"Snakeye, bullet seed. Tae, Ice Beam."

Tae sighed and opened his mouth, firing a freezing beam at the Mantine as Snakeye raised both arms, firing a rapid fire spray of seeds.

-The Mantine takes the attacks for neutral damage, getting down to around half health-

Mantine: <You don't have a smart- HOW DID YOU CHECK CHATTR FROM A ROTARY PHONE?!>

Mantine used Signal Beam on Snakeye

-Cephas studies the human, feeling like he's seen him before somewhere...-

Cephas: <Hm... so are you an Obscuric human, or a disguised Zoroark?>

<...>

-to the definitely-a-Zoroark with him- <Hang on, why don't you disguise yourself as a human when you come here?>

Zoroark Green: -shrugs- <I was never really able to do that illusion stuff. Maybe I could have practiced more, but I don't think it would have helped me much.>

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?

Castelia Balcony

Colt turned to Cephas, still creating loops without even acknowledging his yoyo's presence. Wordlessly, he caught it and crushed in his hand, revealing it for the dark wisps it really was. "I'm a human being with Obscuric powers and the ability to speak 'mon," he explained.

With an over-exaggerated bow - which he had to stop because the Prax Obscura was slipping from his hand - he began his introduction anew. "Colton Rever, how do you do?"

edited 26th Dec '17 4:13:19 PM by AbsentCoder

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

"I can weirdly relate to that confusion."

Snakeye is taken down to 10% Health and is confused, <And this little Pignite went to market~> He mumbled dazed.

"Stone edge Tae."

Tae used Stone Edge

<Why didn't you have me just toss a bunch of sharp tiny rocks before?>

"I wanted to switch things up."

Tae made a BV face before lobbing the rocks at the Mantite.

Cephas: <Um... I'm Cephas.>

Zoroark Green: <I'm a Zoroark! Interesting ability... it would be handy if more humans were like that.>

-Mantine is taken down into the low yellow-

Mantine: <Don't tell me you're "good at texting"!>

Mantine used Bullet Seed on Tae!

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?

Another shattered... thing clattered to the floor, turning back into mist.

Artoria: "Something is very wrong here."

???: "Glad you noticed~"

Artoria: "Who are you?"

???: "So many questions, so little dying~"

Artoria destroyed another of the things. "Fight me, stop hiding behind these things!"

???: "But where would the fun be in that~"

Artoria frowned. She couldn't keep this up all day and it seemed whoever this was had an endless supply of these things.

Artoria: "I have to keep moving. Staying in one place is a death sentence."

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

<Ow! Ow! Ow! Sonuva!>

Tae groaned, <Okay can you at least fight me off the phone?>

"Not gonna happen Tae. They're very invested..."

<Snakeye you okay?>

<S' high noon somewhere in the world~>

<Okay that's a no.>

"Okay. Let's try something else. Water type moves won't work as well. So. Crush them with impact."

Tae marched closer to the Mantine, raised a fist, which glowed, and brought it down hoping to connect.

Tae used Giga Impact

Snakeye hurt himself in his confusion. Snakeye has fainted

"Oh arceus damn it Snakeye."

Silas recalled Snakeye and swapped out for his last mon on his belt, Bishop. The Porygon looked over, "...Captain... what is going on?"

Castelia Library

"Oh, no, I can't conjure things into existence," Colt defended. "Just illusory constructs.

"Odd that you're fascinated by it since in this region, it's kinda what your evolutionary line is known for," he considered.

He refocused his grip on the Prax Obscura before getting a bit of an idea. "Wanna practice? I mean, I could always use a few pointers, and there's few better suited for it than Zoroarks," he reasoned.

"And no, not everyone can do this kinda thing. From what I can gather, Obscurics and Aurics - Fighting and Psychic-types, but not both - are trace among the populace," he recalled.

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

-Jamie (who's perched on Shaun's shoulder) whispers something in his ear.-

Shaun; "Good point...hey, if I place a sizable amount of cash on the counter and say it's a tip, can I leave?"

edited 26th Dec '17 4:50:10 PM by SwiftSeraph

"Dang that sure is totally poggers my good bitch"

Castelia

Gabe: It's... Top secret.

Celadon

Jackie: Not a clue. It apparently has something called a "glitch" sealed inside.

Kolemm: -to Thespi- H̢̜͍̤̖͓͖͇͔̫̠̺̽̾̒͂ͥ̓ͣ̾̀ͅe̵͚̯̝̫̤̞̩͙̯̗̳̗̽̐̆̇ͥͤ́ͥ̔̽̈́͠l̴̴͎̦̞̳̜͗̅̃͋̒͌l̢ͣ͛̾ͮ̾͆͋̌͋̃́ͤ͛ͥ͌͞͏̢̝͖̮̰̜̘̘̪̟̩̞o̍ͬ͗͗̑̄̾̐̊̌̈ͨ̇ͨͯ̎ͫ̐̚͢͏̜̗̩̮̤̯͇̭ ̧̖̲̤̱͎ͨ̈͊͊͛ͦ̔̑̐ţ̵̨͎̳̠̼̹͕̦̥̯̮̞̫̬̲͚̹͇̯ͫͨͮ͐͢ͅh̷̔ͭ͊͒̋҉̟̝̭̭͔̬̹̯̟͙͎̫͎͍̺e̶̜̰͕̠̋͋̾ͧ̑͘͝͞ͅŕ̨͇͇̱̦̪̝͉ͭ̊̎̌̇̆̔̇ͭ͟ȩ̷̛̙̮͚̙̖̟͎͙̯͓͆̊͐̓ͯ̽͜͠ͅͅ~̵̸̨̘̜̼̱̖͇̟̭̣͚̫̥͖̭̭͖͎̹̑̎͊ͧ̓̏͒ͮͦͧ͆̏́̚͞

Rock Tunnel

Sora: -waves back- Yo! Going digging?

Vali Airship

Kass: <Mmmm, warm...>

Oron Fortress

-Gudrunn suddenly bursts in the room astride an Alolan Exeggutor, a Mismagius next to her-

Alolan Exeggutor!Egghead: <AHAHAHA! FEAR MY NEWFOUND POWERRRRRR>

Gudrunn: wassup motherfuckers it's the calamity child

Mismagius!Molph: <You could have been a bit more subtle!>

Contact Me!

Zoroark Green: <Oh, no, sorry, I meant the understanding-Pokémon thing.> -she clarified with a chuckle-

Cephas: <That would be useful.>

Zoroark Green: <And I'm really no good at the Obscura stuff, alas, but I'd love to watch what you can do!>

Mantine: <Look, this is the Soup Store hotline, I can't help you with your phone anyways!>

Mantine was knocked out!

Deskman: I see. So, it has come to this...

...

...

-Deskman presses a button on his desk, causing the top surface to flip over and reveal a turntable and mixing board-

-the lights go low as a drum loop starts playing-

-flocks of Unown stream in through the shop's ambiguously-numbered-and-located doors-

FINAL ROUND 
D E S K M A N 

Deskman:
So you wanna get that scarf despite our store policy,
I can arrange to make that happen but it can't be easy.
Passing out like candy artifacts to make your form bend?
Not without an Epic Rap B-A-T-L-E, my friend.

edited 26th Dec '17 4:54:43 PM by Tangent128

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?

???: "Hehehehe~ Time's up~"

Artoria: "Wh-"

A... staticey, vaguely formless mass forms into a roughly humanoid shape in front of Artoria.

???: "P͈͇͓̗̤̣͑̏̾̍͒̾̈l̗͔̲͙̜̽́̊͋͆͜͝͠͞ã̵̡̖͚̲̺͖̹͊͑͋͆͛͌̕͝͠ͅy̡̛̩̳͓͛̿̅̍͛͜t̷̪̟̱͍̦̟̺̬̱͓̍̅̂͐͑͒̀͊͠ì̴̧̛̻̩̻͖͙̠͇̘̉͌͑̄̐̓̈͘m̴̺͖̲̘̥̿̾͌̿̂̀̌͠͡ē̡̫̜̰̦̒͗̉͛͂́͞'̷̨͈̮̫̣̗͐̽̐̇̏̓͐̀͘s̞̤̱͈̑̎͑̂͊̌̚͜͠ o̵̧̢̫͔̲̤̬̜̦̊̅̿̔͞v̸̙̤̤̇̋̇͑̊͘̕̚͟͜͠ȩ̠̥̥̓̐̏̍̒̔͐̎͢r̨̛̛̹̫̟̭͙̭̾̿̆̑͛̒͛̕~"

It rushes forward, slamming a spear of... itself into Artoria's chest.

???: "Y̢͚̱̠̥͓͕͌̅̀͆͌̐͗͘o̝͖͎̞̒̏̌͆̿̒̍̅̉̌͜u̷̢̱͔͎̗̯͊͊͌̓͐͒̊̚͝͡ͅ ļ̶̨̤̞̙̣̮̻̘͙̎͆̆̑̃͝o̶̡̢͚̥̗̫͕͖̱̓͆̆̀̌̎̒̅̋͢s̷͉̥͓̖͖̤͎̔̈̓͒̂͋̑̕͜͝e̞͍̠̗̺͒̉͑̕͜͠~"

And everything goes black.

Mordred: "Artoria, you alive?"

Artoria pitches forward, falling to her knees, clutching at her chest. She grabs her scarf. It's still there. No visible signs of her chest being pierced. No blood. The wound on her arm was, though.

Artoria: "... Incredibly concerning."

Mordred: "... Artoria?"

Artoria: "Y- Yes, I'm fine."

Mordred: "... What happened to your arm?"

Artoria: "I... I do not exactly know, there..."

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

Phoenix: Oh, so like your *shouting* TOP SECRET MISSION TO SAVE THE MULTIVERSE

Random Bystander: *from 20 feet away* SHUT THE FUCK UP YA FUCKIN DONKEY

Rock Tunnel, Entrance

Alyesha smiled and shook her head slightly

Alyesha: "Haha, nah, just exploring~ Want to come as well~? Spelunking is always more fun with company~"

"One may feel fear in the face of danger so long as one banishes fear when danger actually arrives"

Shaun: "So that's a no."

-He turns to Silas.-

Shaun: "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say neither us nor our teams has an ounce of rapping skill."

"Dang that sure is totally poggers my good bitch"

Celadon

Thespi: <–or maybe it can only be taken off by your true love– Oh hello!>

Megan: It's got a WHAT?

-she and her two Sinn companions take a few steps back, Pippy specifically picking up the egg and reaching inside Megan's backpack for an incubator-

-her two Alolan companions, however, stay where they are-

Pollen: -dazed- <What's that?>

No mind to think. No will to break.

Ganon looked up at Gudrunn, <And who is this who so rudely interrupts my central chamber?>

The Airship speeds off, after the Grand Articuno, who's wingspan begins to drop something.

Those items began to spread their own wings and fly.

<Oh dear. Guardians.>

Winged Guardians similar in design to the warrior type began flying towards the Airship.

"Ah great. Rap battle. I am a horrible singer."

<Rap isn't exactly singing, it's just rhythmic rhyming to a beat.>

Silas groaned, Bishop however, "Oh this is much better Captain. It is at least a fairly level playing field. Anyone can rap with enough effort. Come on give it a shot."

Silas looked at Bishop and shrugged, "If I fail there are at least other methods. Should have brought your body."

"I say leave it! This is far more entertaining."

Silas stepped forward and took off his mask, statistical analysis wouldn't help.

"I see what you're saying and see this setup is full of glamour."
"I promise not to stammer as you go on and yammer."
"But without proper grammar this fight's starting of poor."
"There were a bunch of options but a few leave you on the floor."
"You see I'm here for one thing only. Quite frankly you look like your life is pretty lonely."
"Rap battles? This will be far from flawless, I'm only here to fulfill a promise."
"Come on let's drop this frivolous battle. We'll just come out looking ridiculous."

Text Convo

It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.