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Tastes Like Diabetes / Music

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  • In general, music falling under this trope (songs that make your teeth decay) is called "schmaltz."
  • Faster by Matt Natason. One line, sung very sweetly and softly, is "You taste like sunlight and strawberry bubblegum."
  • Parodied in Katy Perry's video for California Gurls. She and the other characters are pieces of a fictitious board game called Candyfornia.
  • Made fun of in Meghan Trainor's video for All About That Bass, in which everything is of pastel colors and doll-like. At some moment, Meghan and a boy are stiff like Barbie dolls.
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  • Snuggle Bunny (Schnuffel In German), a CGI bunny by Jamster that sings cute songs. They use this music video as a commercial for ringtones. So cute! So obnoxious!
  • If you thought Snuggle Bunny was cute. Then meet Snuggelina or (Schnuffelienchen in German). In her debut music video "Kiss Me, Hold Me, Love Me" The best part is when Snuggelina hugs the Snuggle Bunny plush. Also Snuggelina is Snuggle Bunnie's girlfriend which means that Snuggle and Snuggelina are love birds! Then there's the art work by the company.
  • Japanese idols. Kawaisa and moe to the max.
    • Of special note is Kyary Pamyu Pamyu. Song titles include CANDY CANDY, PONPONPON (Pop Pop Pop) and CHERRY BON-BON.
      • If you like cute boys, there's the Len cover of PONPONPON.
    • Koda Kumi takes this trope on frequently when she feels like ditching her sexy image. Songs like Koi no Tsubomi, Birthday Eve, Stay, Joyful, Wonderland, Melting, Bambi, Twinkle, KAMEN... if the songs don't sound too cutesy, don't worry! The accompanying PVs will turn your blood to molasses.
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    • "Sugar Rush" by Japanese pop group AKB48, a song for the faux video game 'Sugar Rush' in the Disney movie Wreck it Ralph. The game is a parody of children's racing games especially ones found in Japan, set in a world made of candy, with candy themed race cars and candy themed racers. They also filmed a music video in which they dress up in candy themed costumes likewise in a candy themed world.
  • The song "Honey," sung by Bobby Goldsboro. It got a lot of votes in Dave Barry's Worst Song Ever poll because, as one person put it, "Bobby never caught on that he could have drilled a hole in himself and poured the sap out." And this being Goldsboro, that's just for starters.
  • Disney pop. Even the break-up songs are cute and bouncy.
  • Almost any song by IOSYS that has gotten an animation, several of them listed here.
  • Once you understand what the lyrics mean in English (or if you've even heard it sung in English), "Bouken Desho Desho," opening theme of an anime that needs no introduction, easily falls into this. Thank goodness for the despair treatment.
    • Then there's "Hare Hare Yukai"... Ear worm, anyone?
    • Not sure about "Bouken Desho Desho," but just remember that "Hare Hare Yukai" is being sung by Haruhi, not her voice actress...
  • Pink Dinosaur.
  • Kidz Bop. Small children cover songs never, uh, intended for their demographic.
  • "The Christmas Shoes" by New Song with the adorable, dirty little scamp with the dying mother.
  • "Butterfly Kisses,", by Bob Carlisle, is highly pukeworthy.
  • Vocaloid Yuki Kaai has managed to somehow be even more adorable than her sisters. Case in point.
  • Speaking of Vocaloid, Oliver is often portrayed as this. It's parodied in this song.
    • Takoluka. If you're not grossed out by her, you're probably fawning over the mere sight of her.
    • Cat Ear Switch is about having kitten ears and RingxRingxRing is about singing and letting the whole world know about how happy you are because if you do that then everybody else will be happy as well and you'll be one big happy family. It just keeps getting sweeter and sweeter.
  • My honey bunch, sugarpwums, pumpy-umpy-umpkin. You'we my sweety-pie. You'we my cuppy-cake gumdwops, snoogums-boogums. You'we the apple of my eye... :3
  • Taylor Swift, despite how well written and performed most of her music is, can sometimes fall into this. Even pure, unadulterated envy can sound tooth-rottingly saccharine when coming from her.
    • Good luck finding a better aversion than "Picture To Burn", though.
    • Unlike many of the other examples on this list, however, Swift actually has a sense of humor about this and sometimes makes fun of herself for it.
    • Her last album, Red, pretty much averts this trope.
  • Plenty of Martina McBride's material can fall into this category. If you can't stand her, you will probably puke out your guts over Taylor Swift.
    • "This One's for the Girls" deserves special mention. Clearly intended to be about female empowerment, this song's lyrics were not well written. For example, she puts the spotlight on various walks on life, but for the 25-year-olds, she forgets to give any real encouragement.
  • The entire genre known as "Twee Pop," a subgenre of indie rock. Mind, some of their lyrics are biting or even angsty, but the presentation is wrapped in pink.
    • Bubble Gum pop; Janet Jackson's pre-Control work deserves honorable mention.
  • The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' Surprisingly Gentle Song Your Guardian Angel starts out this way, but then suddenly goes into hard rock mode toward the end.
  • The song Brownie the Cat by The Brilliant Green is pure unadulterated High-Octane Adorable Fuel.
    • Put it to an adorable AMV to make it a WMD (Weapon of Mass D'awww.)
  • "Sugar, Sugar" from The Archies— aka the poster child for sweet 60s pop music.
    • ... which produces a completely different picture if you assume that "Sugar" and "Honey" are Unusual Euphemisms.
  • Donna Lewis' I Love You Always Forever. especially the chorus. If you can hack that one, though, you're set.
    • And another of her songs, Mother.
  • Moji Pittan. Even more so if you understand the lyrics. It's a lot better with the Angry German Kid treatment.
  • Michael Jackson could be awful about this when he was trying to be heartwarming and/or tearjerking: "Someone in the Dark," "Gone Too Soon," "Heal the World," "Childhood," and "The Lost Children" (the first is from the E.T. -- The Extra-Terrestrial Storybook Album, on which his overemoted narration ladled syrup all over a film that largely avoided this trope). After his death, the sentimentality of him and his fans was turned Up to Eleven, as the video for the posthumous single "Hold My Hand" (with Akon) proves — happy little dancing multiracial children, sparkles, balloons, hearts, angels, you name it.
    • In "Will You Be There," he delivers a maudlin, sobbing monologue.
  • Dear Lord, Justin Bieber. Only he can make a 16-year-old male sound and look like a 10-year-old girl. Pairing him with rappers only makes it worse.
  • "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias, a song so ridiculously syrupy that you can feel your teeth rotting out of your head while listening to it. Then listen to the Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series version instead!
  • Everything that Hellogoodbye has ever recorded. This (When We First Met) is their latest song, and it's not even near their previous hit, Here In Your Arms, on the cute-o-meter.
  • Similarly, anything by Mika. His reign of cuteness teams up with a large-scale rampage of Lyrical Dissonance, with songs including not getting too caught up in love (with an adorable cartoon video as well, which includes nearly everything in the precautionary list at the top of this page) and a married doctor who gets in a secret relationship with another man.
  • Parodied in Los Campesinos!!'s video for "Death To Los Campesinos!" - the band had been pigeon-holed as a cutesy twee-pop band and so in the video showed their frustration by having the band being killed off by kittens, rainbows, confetti, and vomiting flowers.
  • Anything made by Owl City. The song "Fireflies" makes insomnia sound saccharine.
  • It's odd for Within Temptation, but "In Perfect Harmony" creates cavities with each repeat of the chorus.
  • "Long Haired Lover from Liverpool" by Jimmy Osmond. (Yes, an Osmond.) Dear God, it makes a lot of the other songs here look macho.
  • For those who can't stand Vanessa Carlton's voice, her work will occasionally fall into this, but especially the Heroes and Thieves album.
  • Most anything by Math The Band, a Nintendocore duo. I believe "saccharine" is the operative word.
  • How Much is that Doggie in the Window? — butchered by Homer And Jethro in How Much is that Hound Dog in the Window?
  • "Dear Mr. Jesus" by Power Source, is a hideously overwrought Christian pop/rock song about the evils of child abuse, sung by a six-year-old girl, and it somehow made it to #61 on the Billboard charts.
  • A Child of the Street by Philippine (now former) child idol singer, Jaymie Baby (ugh, even her name tastes like diabetes) has it singing about a child on the street, but possibly about an orphan or a young beggar too. If you're nostalgic, you'd probably say to yourself this is probably something Annie would sing. She's more known as a rapper of children-targeted songs. If you're a Filipino (or just someone who can understand their language) the other songs can count as well because of how thematic and childish it sounds.
  • Heintje, a German child star singer from The '70s. Listen to his "Mama".
  • "Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows" sung by Lesley Gore at the end of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs fits this. It's as sweet as the lollipops in the title.
  • Kina Grannis' "In Your Arms" is this in the best possible way.
  • The Backstreet Boys could be seen as this back in their prime.
  • The ballads of Backstreet's Friendly Rival *NSYNC can drop into this territory.
  • "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri, an extremely sappy, sugary-sweet love song that ended up being used in the credits of Breaking Dawn.
  • The more upbeat strains of Power Metal are sometimes accused of this by other metalheads. One particularly memorable review puts it thus:
    Freedom Call's Crystal Empire is a shiny flurry of sparkling Care Bears prancing through fields of posies with rainbows shooting out of their asses and sunbeams shining in through one ear and out the other without obstruction, and I'll be damned if it doesn't grate on the nerves.
  • "My Front Porch Looking In" by Lonestar:
    There's a carrot top who can barely walk, with a sippy cup of milk
    A little blue-eyed blonde with shoes on wrong 'cause she likes to dress herself
    And the most beautiful girl holding both of them
    Yeah, the view I love the most is my front porch looking in
  • If you find that the early stuff by The Sweet, like "Funny Funny", is not a convincing example, just hear their later stuff, say, "Blockbuster", first. And THEN "Funny Funny".
  • If Falling Into You does not put Céline Dion into this territory, nothing does. Not even "My Heart Will Go On."
  • Many Eurobeat songs fall into this category, with their hyperactive beats, saccharine synth hooks, and Narmy mangled English lyrics.
  • Ariana Grande has clearly gone to great pains to avert the impression. One look at, or listen to, “Put Your Hearts Up” and you’ll see why she feels that way.
  • Guitarist and soloist Juniel's "Pretty Boy" has the singer gushing over a Pretty Boy and repeats lyrics like "Hallo hallo, baby hallo hallo, baby oh oh oh my boy!" against very bubble gum music. Its concept for the promotions and music video were also overly sweet - much pink, tutus, aegyo, dancing and lovey-dovey stuff ensued.
  • FT Island's self-titled song is a very upbeat Silly Love Song with cutesy singing and lyrics that compare love to things like chocolate, a "forever living puppy", magic glasses, a flying subway...
  • "God Made Girls," courtesy of one RaeLynn. Just listen to the introduction of the clip.
  • "You're the meaning in my life/You're the in-spi-raaaaaatioooon..." (And keep in mind, this was after Peter Cetera left.)
  • Even The Beatles aren't safe, as anyone who's ever heard "All You Need is Love" (BUM-BA-BA-DA-DUM) can attest.
  • The song Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer seems to be on a mission to be as sappily romantic as it can with its metaphors and situations (IE: Broken tree house, milky twilight, and "Make the fireflies dance").
  • The Christmas song, "Happy Birthday, Jesus", sung by a children's choir in a syrupy tone that could cause cavities.
  • Aqua (they of "Barbie Girl" fame) lampshaded that exact essence in "Bumble Bees."
  • The Carpenters's version of "(They Long to Be) Close to You" succeeded where previous recordings didn't, simply for invoking this trope. As stated by a musicologist:
    Hal David wrote a kind of a nursery rhyme, a childishly romantic lyric. The sentiment is so sweet it should be avoided by diabetics! Richard Carpenter was clever enough to give it a lilting, happy, bouncy swing eighth-note feel. The listener is tapping their toes rather than thinking too much about the charming but rather shallow teen sentiments.
  • Depending on your view, just about any late 80's song by Australian former Neighbours actors Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan (the latter a former Pretty Boy) can sound so fun-loving, sweet, clean-cut, and cute that it might make fans of mature-sounding music turn away. Thier duet, "Especially for You", turns the sweetness Up to Eleven. Nowadays, both of them have grew out of that era and moved on to other genres.


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