Present on the Season 3 DVD
The original version of “Dearly Beloved Seed”, meant to be played out in real time in the minutes preceding the wedding, but was hard to make funny. Eventually merged with a script by a 'fan' (but is most likely mc chris trolling) to become “Dearly Beloved Seed”.
Debbie and Hesh are lying in bed together after a round of lovemaking, the night before they get married. Debbie reminisces about the day they met: Debbie was heading to a Black Panther mixer when she runs into Hesh, a transvestite hooker trying to get crack. He then knocks Debbie out with a 2 x 4. Debbie asks if he still has the 2 x 4, but Hesh has sold it for crack. Hesh promises not to go crazy at the bachelor party soon.
Quinn is in the lab when Stormy comes in with something covered up in a sheet to help Quinn get over Debbie. Quinn vainly claims he's over Debbie. Stormy pulls the sheet back to reveal a crudely built robot Debbie that he had made when he needed to get over Debbie.
At the Idiot, Hesh, Dolphin Boy, and a random man are celebrating Hesh's bachelor party, although the checklist Hesh is trying to complete is actually for a bachelorette party. He asks Sparks and Marco for a pair of underwear and a photo of Hesh doing something obscene. When Marco points out that Hesh should be drinking heavily, Hesh hesitates before asking for penis shaped jello shooters. Sparks gives him bourbon instead while Marco suggests going to a strip club. As Hesh gets drunk, he says he and Debbie agreed on no strippers.
Meanwhile, Debbie and Black Debbie are at a strip club spanking a male stripper and drinking.
Meanwhile, Quinn has slept with Robo-Debbie, who's still programmed to say 'I love you Stormy'.
The day of the wedding, Hesh is hurling in the bathroom while Sparks, Marco, and Stormy try to get him out and drinking some Dutch courage. Yost is offended and Sparks tells him to surrender to someone. Quinn comes in, drunk, and yelling that Hesh doesn't deserve her. Sparks asks who had 4:30 on the 'Quinn losing it' betting pool. Hesh reveals he fell off the wagon-the crack addict transvestite wagon.
Elsewhere, Shanks has decided that since Debbie's parents weren't here, he was going to give her the sex talk. Debbie finds it sweet that he did so, and starts downing a trail mix of vicodin, carob and horse tranquilizers, letting Shanks have some too.
Quinn chases Hesh only to be stopped by Black Debbie, who warns him to leave Hesh along and stay silent during the 'hold your peace'. Stormy and Sparks giggle over it while Black Debbie leaves, glaring. She then throws shoes at all of them, having borrowed Yost's shoe to throw at Sparks.
Debbie is so stoned that she's eating the bouquet, and Shanks is starting to vibrate because he's so high.
Sparks is itching because of the wool pants, but Marco admitted that he put baby powder in his pants to combat that, with the result that there's baby powder over his pants and coat. Quinn yells at him to shut the fuck up, and the priest comes over to tell him to stop swearing, only to swear himself as Sparks catches fire. Yost puts him out, saying that this is an example of how kind Dutch people are, but Marco tells him to roll over for the Nazis. Marco asks if Hesh really wants to get married, and Hesh tells the musician to let the beat drop.
Shanks wheels Debbie down the aisle and the ceremony begins. Hesh raps his own vows, and actually makes it through one verse before Quinn cuts off the mike and tries to shoot Hesh. Hesh reveals himself to be "The One" and stops the bullets. Quinn declares the dialogue to The Matrix sucked, Debbie declares her love for Hesh, and Hesh declares that he's [adult swim]'s most popular character.
It then turns out that the entire episode was a fanfic written by a Hesh fanboy. His mother comes in to announce dinner.
