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Funny / The Rigel Black Chronicles

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"Do you know my father?" She feigned surprise. "I shall have to chastise him for keeping such a gem to himself." She was laying it on pretty thick, and she honestly hoped what people said about first impressions was true and she never had to act like this again, because it was making her feel a bit queasy. It was necessary that people believed she was the son of Sirius Black, however, so for a little while she would channel her uncle's irrepressible spirit.

"Suffice it to say that every girl at this table has been warned by her mother to steer clear of the Black scion if she wishes to keep her reputation intact." Pansy smiled with amusement, not seeming too concerned about steering clear herself. "But I think you're all talk."

She made a mental note to ask Sirius what he'd done at Hogwarts that had mothers a decade later fearing for their daughters' virtue in the presence of an eleven-year-old. Though, on the other hand, she supposed she'd rather not know.
- The Pureblood Pretense, chapter 2


"A-ah, it's too late to insult us now," George linked his arm through her elbow carefully, avoiding her wrist.

Fred took up her other side, "We've already figured out you like us."

Rigel resigned herself to a life of friends and acquaintances. At the rate she was earning new ones, she'd never be able to get rid of them all.
- The Pureblood Pretense, chapter 12


Pansy: I do like my boys on bended knee.
Rigel: How about begging for forgiveness? I've behaved rather dismally.
Pansy: Abominably.
Rigel: And I feel terrible about it. I was so busy with my summer work I somehow forgot to pay homage to the very lady who makes the summer sun so warm and the days so beautiful. My only shred of hope is that surely a lady so kind and grand as she who makes the moon grow round could find it in her bountiful mercy to forgive one so lowly and sorry as I.
Millicent: She who makes the moon go round? That's class-A stuff right there.
Rigel: I'm making this up as I go.
Theo: It shows.
- The Serpentine Subterfuge, chapter 1

"Mum doesn't really trust us in the kitchen," Fred whispered conspiratorially.

"Can't imagine why," Ginny rolled her eyes, "You only blew up her favorite cauldron twice."

"After the first time it wasn't exactly her favorite anymore," George scoffed, "So that only counts once, I think."

"Once was enough," Ron said, grimacing in remembrance. "Everything she cooked tasted like sulfur for a week."

"Oh, that was the week we put sulfur on your toothbrush, actually," Fred sniggered.
- The Ambiguous Artifice, chapter 10


"I find a small pot of good tea can reduce many troubling problems to a manageable size," the Headmaster commented when a house elf had delivered the tea tray and poured them both cups.

Rigel swirled the tea pensively, watching the little twister in the center of her cup with detached curiosity. "Would that tea could reduce an entire nation's pride and folly to a more manageable size," she said after a moment.

Dumbledore hummed thoughtfully. "You'd have to poison a great deal of tea."
- The Futile Facade, chapter 8


Archie: You can't take responsibility for the actions of every psychopath in your life, Harry.
<Beat>
It's kind of messed up that there are enough of those to warrant a blanket rule, actually.
- The Futile Facade, chapter 11


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