Funny / The Opposite of Sex

• Lucia's reaction to finding out Dedee took her brother's ashes.
  Lucia: Oh, great, she's probably trying to smoke them!
• Dedee ordering a Long-island iced tea at a restaurant. When rebuked, since she's pregnant, she responds, "This kid owes its life to Long-island iced tea, if you get what I mean."
• During the birth scene, this moment happens:
  Bill: [in awe] You're having a baby!
  Dedee: [in a lot of pain, very sarcastically] Yeah, lucky me!
• Lucia berates Matt for the affair since he's supposed to be gay. He responds that he's bisexual...
  "I went to a Bar Mitzvah once! That doesn't make me Jewish!"
• Lucia admitting that she doesn't understand the human appetite for sex:
  Lucia: I would rather have a back rub. It lasts longer, and there's no fluids.
• Dedee trolling the audience into thinking she has died. Twice.
  "I'm the fucking narrator, guys."
• When Matt suggests marrying, Dedee says she doesn't think they should rush into it.
  Lucia: No, but bring another life into the world? That's whim time.
• Lucia also suggests an abortion, which Dedee reminds her off when Lucia tells her that smoking is bad for the baby.