Funny / The Odd Couple (2015)

• From the original play & film (and reused for the 2015 show): "I've told you 158 times I can't stand little notes on my pillow. "We're all out of cornflakes. F.U." Took me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Unger!"
• One from the pilot: Oscar's date, Casey, goes to his door to cancel, due to her sister visiting, and Oscar suggests bringing her to double with Felix:
  Casey: I can't do that to Emily, she gets so emotional and high strung—
  (Oscar, without looking back, opens the door the rest of the way, revealing Felix crying hysterically about his divorce. Casey's eyes widen.)
  Oscar: So, you'll bring Emily by?
  Casey: It's a date.
• Oscar and Felix have to break into Ashley's place to obtain something Felix left behind after the divorce:
  Oscar: Alright, we'll go in the back and get in the elevator and then we'll— (sees Felix putting on a beanie and gloves)...do a series of ninja moves to get through the laser field, and then the jewels will be ours!
• When Dani is promoted to producer of Oscar's radio show, she hires a middle-aged British woman named Margo as his replacement assistant, who proves to be absolutely terrible at her job. How terrible, you ask?
  Margo: Here's your coffee, sir. Two shots, one sugar, just like you like it.
  Oscar: Thanks, Margo. [sips from it] Hmm... this is mushroom soup.