- The opening scene of Calvin in prison, he keeps forgetting what comes after "3" and so on and asks his multi-tattooed inmate to back him up.
- Calvin and Percy retreat on the lam and hide in a pharmacy store and during which Officer Wilson mistakes an innocent for their culprit and pummels him before the other cop Officer Jankowski stops him. Wilson still attacks the man before Jankowski orders him to move on.Officer Jankowski: WILSON!
Officer Wilson: Well, he looked molka to me!
- Calvin is forced to stash the diamond in the unsuspecting Vanessa's purse and informs Percy just as the Edwards head for their car.Percy: You still got the diamond?
Calvin: No. I had to ditch it.
Calvin: In her bag!
Percy: Oh, Calvin! Now what?!
Calvin: We go get it!
- Darryl and Vanessa seeing Calvin disguised as a baby on their front porch. Also, Darryl's comment to the poorly-written "abandonment note".Darryl: Hmm. His parents must've been retarded.
- Darryl playing "Peek-a-boo" with Calvin. Eventually, Calvin gets tired of it and whacks Darryl on the head with a frying pan, knocking him out.
Funny / Little Man