- From their show about Case Closed:Joel: "You know, typical we're gonna appeal to little kids by making them the heroes'"Dave: "Yeah, like, get it, youre smarter than the adults!"Joel: "Which is really a good lesson to teach kids, because they dont even know not to play in traffic."Dave: "Yeah. There were a lot of times, when I was kid, where I thought I was smarter than my parents. And I think almost unanimously I was wrong on, like, every step. Like, Hey, you shouldnt light baseball bats on fire and swing them around, and Im like ...... I think I probably should. In fact, Im like 100% sure that this is the right course of action! And thats why I dont have any hair on my arms."
- From their show about their distaste with Gunslinger Girl:Dave: "My constant worry is that this show...is made by like....a 6 year-old cancer survivor little girl."Joel: "so when I show up with a can of gasoline and a lighter..."Dave: "This is awkward..."Joel: "Well.....lets hope the bed burns hotter"Dave: "Shoulda done my research..."
- And of course, the classic...Joel: "HIS NAME HANABI! HE RIVE WITH HONOUR!."
Funny / Fast Karate for the Gentlemen