Awesome / Interesting Times

• During Cohen's conquest of the Counterweight Continent, a Lord shows off his samurai to Cohen by having one throw a tissue into the air, and cutting it in half with his katana. Cohen then throws his own handkerchief into the air... and decapitates several of the samurai while they're watching the handkerchief to see what he's going to do.
  "Either fight or muck about, it's up to you."
• The Silver Horde vs. the Ninjas.
  • There's also the exchange as the Silver Horde is confronting the Palace big-wigs, having laid claim to the Empire.
    "The Emperor...that is to say, the last Emperor...had some very special guards..."
    There was a tinkling sound. Something small and multi-pointed rolled down the steps and spun round on the floor. It was a throwing star.
    "Met them," said Boy Willie.
• Let's be real, every single fight that the Silver Horde gets into. Not only does this band of white-haired octogenarians defeat all of the younger, faster, and muscular opponents they run into, but they consistently do it with very little effort.
• Ronald Saveloy going berserk in battle, and when he finally dies, going into warrior heaven.
• Mild-mannered geography teacher Mr. Saveloy gets one far earlier in the book:
  "How about if we kill everyone?" said Cohen.
  "A good idea, but impractical," said Mr. Saveloy. "And liable to cause comment. No, my current methodology is predicated on the fact that Hunghung is some considerable way from the river yet has almost a million inhabitants. And the local geography is quite wrong for artesian wells. And yet there is no visible aqueduct, you notice. Which rather leads me to doubt the saying that not even a mouse can get into the Forbidden City," said Mr. Saveloy, with just a trace of smugness. "I suspect a mouse could get into the Forbidden City if it could hold its breath."
• Cohen the Barbarian claiming an omen. And not just hamming it up, saying, "Look, it is an omen that I shall win!" claiming an omen. I mean he literally says, "Well, if no one else wants it, then I'm nicking it." That's right, he doesn't just claim it, he full-out steals it, right from under the noses of the people who wanted time to figure it out.
• Another one from that book:
  "You know that thing we came to steal?"
  "Yes?"
  "It's the Empire."
  • The plan is brilliant in its simplicity: Sneak into the Forbidden City, go sit on the Emperor's throne, gather up everyone who has personally dealt with the Emperor (which turns out to be about eighty people), and tell them to either accept the new Emperor or die. And it works. Just shame about the warlords gathering up their armies afterwards.
• Diamonds gleamed when Cohen smiled.
• Among others...
  Pretty Butterfly: But there are causes worth dying for!
  Rincewind: No there aren't! Because you only have one life, but you can pick up another five causes on any street corner!
  Pretty Butterfly: Good grief, how can you live with a philosophy like that?
  Rincewind: Continuously!
• Rincewind's success in intimidating an opposing army that would the next day go up against eight people. There are not 2,300,009 invisible vampire ghosts...
• Rincewind's summoning of the real Red Army, and victory using same.
• Twoflower challenging Lord Hong to a duel.
  Lord Hong: Do you know anything about fighting, clerk?
  Twoflower: No, not really. But the important thing is that someone should stand up to you. Whatever happens to them afterwards.
• The Luggage manages to beat up three larger luggages because they happen to be picking on a girl (?) that it likes.
• "You see this piece of wood right here? You see this piece of wood? Good. Because you should have been watching this foot!"
• "May you always live in interesting times."
• Rincewind siccing the tsimo wrestlers on his pursuers and then sashaying out the door.
  He'd never essayed a sashay before, but he figured he owed himself one for quick thinking.

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